So in this perfect almost symbiotic relationship we have why do we get it so wrong?  It’s because the female has been forced to take on the role of the male in our society.  Some of it is the fault of men, some is the fault of woman and some is simply the need to survive in the crazy society that we have made for ourselves.  

Men had started taking advantage of their dominant role by treating women as if their only value was in cooking, cleaning and sex.  Acting like masters of the universe and treating women as second class citizens.  Women on the other hand started to realize that they had power too.  They were extremely intelligent and they also had something men really wanted and desired so they began exploiting men on both fronts. Then society kicked in making things worse through both media and economic conditions.  Women’s lib turned into women’s equality turned into women are the same as men.

So where are we now?  We find ourselves stuck in a society where there is NO distinction between women and men.  The qualities that men lack are no longer filled in and the qualities women lack are no longer cared for.

As far as this article goes here is how I see things.  Ladies, Evan is 100% correct when he says it is about how you make a man “FEEL”.  I know some woman might be insulted by this because they think why should it be about him, what about my needs.  However, the fact is that if you make a man feel great about you and his relationship with you then he will be the best man he can possibly be.  The best husband or boyfriend he can possibly be.  It’s like a racehorse that has been fed well, trained well and completely taken care of.  Those are the horses that rise to the occasion and win.  Men are the same way.  

With that being said, in order to make someone feel good you have to have deep respect for that person first.  If you are in a marriage or a relationship with a man that you do not have deep love and respect for then you need to fix it or move on.  Why do I say this so strongly?  Because you need to be in the position to WANT to make your mate feel good.  if you do not have the ability to make your man “feel” good about himself and about his relationship with you then he will never love you in the proper way.  He will never give you what you need in return as a woman.

Even though personally I’m not very old my parents grew up in the 50′s.  In those days though things were far from perfect, men were men and women were women.  Ladies got treated like ladies.  If some tragedy were to strike men literally gave up their lives to save a woman.  They protected them, they opened doors for them, they ran to their defense if they needed help.  Men viewed women as beautiful and precious.  On the other hand women took care of their men and kept them happy and made them “feel” wonderful.  They stood by their mans side making him feel like he had their wife’s deep respect.

Some women and some men will tell you its better now, but I for one don’t believe them.              

Maybe very young women (up to age 25) fit the stereotype- when they’re learning about what life is all about.. but really? We all want alpha men with strong jaws and high testosterone levels? lol…

IMO men and women want a lot of the same things- we ALL want to be with someone who makes us feel good. Maybe I’m an anomaly amongst women, but …how I feel around the guy is paramount to me. No, I don’t either want to be criticized, judged, second guessed, etc… I want to be around someone I feel okay with. That I feel good around.

That’s pretty much it. It’s hard for me to imagine feeling good around an alpha male that I dont’connect with.. one whose company I don’t feel comfortable in.. etc. I don’t like passiivity particularly but nor do I like alpha dominant behaviour- it disconcerts me.  I have a lot of male friends who I have a little or a lot in common with- and sure that’s more of a non-issue with platonic friends. But with a partner.. bottom line is I want to feel good in their company. Not poked, prodded, or whatever.. just okay to be.

I think it’s better to be sympathetic to other humans as they travel their path in life.  Most times, someone else’s path is not our path.  It’s so easy to dismiss people.  I give this man a lot of credit.

WOW, I can’t believe this man was intuitive and thoughtful enough to express all of this to you!  I’m impressed…

Things didn’t work out the way you wanted; it sounds like things he need to work through.  It sounds like he’s a bit immature not understanding the difference between negative energy/drama and a relationship where that doesn’t exist.  Good for him for getting professional  help to work through that.

It also reminds me of Evan talking about the experience with his wife, wondering if she was the one he wanted to marry given the differences they had and that she may not have been his ‘ideal’.  Ultimately, she made him feel good, was mature, grounded and centered, and eventually won his heart–he knew he would not be able to find someone who treated him better or made him feel better (hope I paraphrased my understanding correctly!).  It took Evan some time, perhaps some maturing, but he got there.

Not saying that will happen here, but that’s what I thought of when I was reading  your post.

Well said and couldn’t agree more!

Ah, men…..I love them all!! So true, Damian.

Men and women ARE, indeed, wired differently. If we can start with *acceptance* of our partner and their unique differences –  we’re 2/3 the way to success, right there.