Choose Your Own Hot Blog Topic – Must-Read Special Edition – Part 1 of 2

My wife and I had a few guests over last night. Over a bottle of wine, we got into a really interesting discussion of changing gender roles, money, evolutionary biology, and societal mores. I know. Very hot.

But that got me to thinking: if you were at my home, what would YOU have contributed to that conversation? Better yet – forget about MY conversation…

I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is.

Below, in the comments section, I’d like you to simply choose a TOPIC about which you’re passionate – in regards to dating, relationships and sex.

More specifically, I’d like you to take a SIDE on this topic:

  • Why men should always pay for women on the first date.
  • Why women shouldn’t have sex until they are in a relationship.
  • Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.

Remember, this is YOUR angle on YOUR topic. I’m not looking for fair and balanced. I want to know what your viewpoint is. Do not write a paragraph on it. Do not compose a dissertation. I literally just want you to write a one sentence angle on a topic that, if you had a bottle of wine, you could passionately discuss all night.

Next week, I’m going to have a contest based on all of your answers, in which I’d like you all to participate. Winner will get a gift from yours truly, to be determined.

So please, think about your take on a passionate relationship topic and write it in the comments section below.

Talk to you next week,

Evan

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Comments:

  1. 1
    MeetMeinOtrSPce

    Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.—

    I think that it is directly related to the fact that an overwhelming majority of people in the U.S.A. believe in the Christian faith and that religion, like many others, believe that monogamous relationships are the only type of acceptable relationship. I also don’t believe that this society in particular has a genuine foundation on monogamous relationships, despite what they think, aside from that important statistic.

  2. 2
    Steve

    Okay, being brief, as requested:

    Why men should always pay for women on the first date.

    Despite what people say and despite what they believe, on a deep psychological level this arrangement is what women as well as men find the most appealing.

    Why women shouldn’t have sex until they are in a relationship.

    I think the should if they want to, but I think they need to do it knowing that the choices they make in this regard will make finding different kinds of men easier or more difficult.

    Why monogamy is the foundation upon which we build our society.

    As with the first question, I think it is part of our deep psychology/biology. More accurately serial monogamy or monogamy with occasional anomalies.

  3. 3
    Steve

    It is probably a good thing about the universe that the comment section would never get together in person for a discussion in Evan’s living room….but it sure would be fun to watch :).

  4. 4
    Jennifer

    The subconscious mind plays the largest role in determining who we date and eventually mate with.

    If your dating/mating patterns are causing unhappiness, the most effective (or only) way to effect lasting change in these patterns is through addressing issues that are often just beneath the surface.

  5. 5
    Evan Marc Katz

    To clarify: I don’t want you commenting on my hypotheticals. I want you to come up with your OWN takes on your OWN topics.

  6. 6
    HRGoddess

    Why do intelligent men put up with bitches when there are so many fantastic ladies out there that will treat them right?

  7. 7
    Honey

    Here’s mine: most relationships that end do so because the majority of men and women strive to adhere to traditional relationship patterns and gender roles without truly considering other options or determining whether the traditional path is one that they would enjoy and find emotionally satisfying.

  8. 8
    Sayanta

    #3-

    I don’t know…I think everyone would become more toned-down once live-in-person experiences became involved.

  9. 9
    Sayanta

    HRGoddess-

    The answer to that is the book “Why do men love bitches?” :-D

  10. 10
    Selena

    @ Jennifer #4

    I very much agree with that!

  11. 11
    Selena

    You never Really know someone until you live with them.

    Particularly until you’ve been challenged by financial reversals and illnesses.

  12. 12
    Selena

    If legal marriage was abolished, would it change how we date and choose mates? How?

  13. 13
    Sayanta

    I like Selena’s- #12. I pick hers. Not that I have a say here or anything. lol

  14. 14
    Evan Marc Katz

    What is a topic that YOU feel strongly about and what’s your side of it?

  15. 15
    Sayanta

    EMK-

    I know- I meant ‘say’ as in picking the winner.

  16. 16
    Honey

    The format Evan is asking for is to make your own claim about the topic. Selena introduces a topic but doesn’t claim anything about it, so it doesn’t work. If she said something like, “If legal marriage was abolished, it would lead to more happiness because we wouldn’t have unreasonable expectations about one partner fulfilling our every need for the rest of our lives.”
    I’m not saying that’s what she thinks, btw. But the format should be along those lines.

  17. 17
    Sara

    Here’s why I think men should pay on the first date: I can only speak for myself, but that moment at which the check arrives is nerve-wracking for me. I have a good job, can support myself, etc, etc, and I’m not looking for someone to pay for my everything. But it’s the first date and I’m not sure how to act. Should I offer to pay? Should I mean it? Should I offer to split? What am I saying about myself, about my thoughts on feminism, relationship balance, and gender equality?
    When a date offers to pay quickly and genuinely, it saves me from this awkwardness, and for that I am as grateful as the meal/drink itself (and I express my thankfulness!). I certainly don’t expect men to pay all the time, but I guess I’m not interested in dating a man who thinks a first date is a good time to make his own statement about gender equality.

  18. 18
    Steve

    Are women told what they want to hear more often than men?

  19. 19
    Angelika

    Topic I’m passionate about: Why should people marry?
    I’d like to know at least one good reason on why people should get married. So, if I found my Mr. Right, and we’re happy, we love each other, we live together, we have fun – why should we get married and how will marriage improve our relationship?
    I’ve never found one good reason for getting married, so I’m inclined to believe it’s absolutely unnecessary.

  20. 20
    Evan Marc Katz

    Dearest readers… I have very high hopes for this contest, and I’m really confident you guys can knock this out of the park. The average IQ on this blog has to be 130 or so… :)

    Anyway, the comments section is not to debate the idea, but merely to assert one side of an argument about which you’re passionate.

    Why drugs should be legalized.
    Why there is no God.
    Why the Beatles are better than the Stones

    Except I only want you to take a stand on dating and relationships. Don’t argue your point. Just take a stand.

    Once we get about 50 entries, we’ll have something really exciting for next week. I promise.

    XO

    Evan

  21. 21
    Honey

    Evan, I think the reason you’re not getting responses that fit your criteria is because you’re using the word “why” in your examples, and in the real responses you want no one would probably be using that word. People could say:
    Drugs should be legalized because _________.
    There is no God and this is totally obvious because _________.
    The Stones kick the Beatles sweet tushies because _________.
    So pick some relationship topic and state your opinion about the topic, and then say “because ___________”
    Men should always pay because ___________.
    Women are more emotionally mature because __________.
    Men have unreasonable expectations about women because ___________.
    There are other ways people could address what you want without using the word because, but it seems like the simplest way: “I believe x because y.”
    What you want is a thesis statement, and believe me, as someone who taught at the college level for 6+ years, its easier than it sounds…

  22. 22
    MeetMeinOtrSPce

    I want to add on my own topic since I commented on one of the above that Evan posted. My own would be equilibrium in the dynamic of a relationship. The act of being selfless from both people in a relationship could be the key to the success of a very happy and fulfilling relationship practiced by Tibetan Buddhists. =)

  23. 23
    Jess

    Why men should always pay on the first date:

    Men should always pay on the first date as a gesture of good will and for the pleasure (hopefully) of the woman’s company. It shows an interest on his part. If the woman is paying on the first date, then she will never know if the guy is interested in her or the fact that she picks up the tab.

  24. 24
    Evan Marc Katz

    Thanks, Honey, but I’m actually not looking for the because. The because is the argument itself, which is going to come later. I merely want the assertion.

    Guns should be illegal.
    Abortion is always wrong.
    The Palestinians should have their own homeland.

    Men should not pressure women for sex if they’re going to judge them for it.
    Women should not expect men to pay for dates if she makes a lot more than he does.
    There is only one soulmate for every person.

    State a belief. You don’t have to defend it. Just state something that you believe passionately about dating/relationships/sex. Come on, I don’t want to be the only one participating in this! :)

  25. 25
    Honey

    All your examples are either “is” which implies they are facts and not value judgments, or “shoulds,” which flat-out acknowledges the world does not work that way.

    This doesn’t make as much sense to me as a hypothesis (why things work the way they do), but I look forward to seeing what others have to say.

    And to put things in you format, “People should consider whether traditional relationship models and gender roles are right for them before becoming involved long-term relationships.”

  26. 26
    Anette C

    People should pace their relationships so that the physical intensity matches the emotional intensity,Ie don’t get physical too soon and don’t get deeply emotional too soon. Let the 2 evolve together in tandum.

    Sorry..that’ was 2.5 sentences!!!(I thought you could give me a break on my verbosity since I am female..haha)

  27. 27
    Talia

    That when you want a long term relationship you shouldn’t have a man of the moment place holder boyfriend, as it doesn’t leave space in your life for the right person to come in.

  28. 28
    Talia

    Hmmm, another one… that friend’s with benefits never work out. As logically it may seem like a good idea, but the brain chemicals released during sex trigger bonding and no amount of rationalizing can change that.

  29. 29
    Janet

    I’m with Honey @7 and @25 and Angelika @19. Excellent!!!

    I would also put forth another one: The strong “pro-marriage/-LTR” rhetoric all around us makes it near impossible to have a clear head about dating, mating, relationships and what is right for each of us as individuals.

    [This is my takeaway from what Amy, Curly Girl, etc. have been saying–and note the diatribes this type of “anti pro-marriage” talk incites!!! To be clear: “anti pro-marriage” is NOT “anti-marriage.”]

  30. 30
    Janet

    Sayanta @13: You get my vote!!! I think you’re great!!!

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