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Women Are Racist

No, not really. But in John Tierney’s continued analysis of dating behavior, he cites some interesting studies that suggest that women are far less open to dating men of other races than vice versa.

African-American women said yes about 30 percent less often to Hispanic men; about 45 percent less often to white men; about 65 percent less often to Asian men.

Black women were the most averse to interracial dating, Asian women were the most open to it, and Asian men didn’t fare all that well.

I’m not going to hypothesize why – after all, I’m a dating coach, not a social scientist – but this very much corresponds with what I’ve heard from clients.

White women said yes about 30 percent less often to black or Hispanic men, and about 65 percent less often to Asian men.

With one exception. I’m a bit surprised at men’s openness to interracial dating. While I’ve personally dated women across the racial spectrum, I’ve only had a handful of clients who ever expressed preferences for women of other races. Then again, the demographics of my clients are probably a bit skewed towards upper-middle class white people.

Any readers with interracial dating experience care to weigh in?

Hispanic women said yes about 20 percent less often to black or white men, and 50 percent less often to Asian men.

Money quote:The researchers found that most women speed daters said yes (meaning they’d like to see a man again after the four-minute speed date) less often to men of another race than they did to men of their own race. Here’s how much less interested they were in the other races, as compared with their enthusiasm for men of their own race:

Asian women didn’t discriminate much by race (except for showing a very slight preference for Asian men over black or Hispanic men).

Click here to read the whole article:


But wait, there’s some “good news” from those same researchers.

A few days later, after looking at 300 reader comments, researchers sent some surprising news back.

Daters who discriminate by race… also temper these biases once they get to know one another.

“The researchers realize that their results can be depressing, but they also agree with the many readers who caution against reading too much into the preferences of online daters and speed daters. Yes, these daters clearly discriminate by race and height and looks and other superficial qualities, but they also temper these biases once they get to know one another.”

People who are terribly picky in choosing partners online will relax their standards if they spend just three or four minutes talking to someone at a speed dating session.

Click here to read the whole article.

What’s your view? To quote one researcher, Paul W. Eastwick, “do those stated ‘turn-offs’ come back to haunt you later in the relationship, or are they permanently forgotten?”

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  1. 181

    I’m a blonde hair and fair girl actually of mostly italian(olive skin) and Hispanic descent. I’ve dated mostly Hispanic/Latins cuz I grew up with them, but also Caucasians and African descent and mixes. Personality catches my attention, NOT looks.

  2. 182

    HUMAN is all there really is. If you have a race preference then you have a bit of racism in you. All of a sudden it’s not politically correct to be racist so all of a sudden no one is racist, they just don’t like people of this race lol. Just own your hang ups and in time they’ll change. People are people. You like someone because of their race is super shallow and speaks on your views on  race. It’s just genetic makeup. Ive dated beautiful women that had ugly personlities, ive date the I only like black guys women and they had racist view about how I should conduct myself?!?!? Ive date younger women which usually comes with unnecessary insecurities or way to intitled. Older women which are my absolute favorites because they realize that life is too short to be such a prude and just themselves. I’ve dated all women. The differences comes only from their environment. Southerners seem to be way more race conscious and black women  were worried about light n dark, west coast seemed to show me more love and less likely to judge, northerners were pretty aggressive but were cool , and eastcoast is hit and miss. The best were foreigners that just were interested in me and not all about them. If me being of African decent is the reason you will not view me as a attractive person, then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why that is? Ive recently fell in love with a little short  porcelain skin girl. We connect but she’s young runs from me?!? Maybe because she’s never been with a black guy, maybe it’s because she tends to date YES Men(submissive), or maybe because our love scares her. But Real preferences are lifestyle choices, intellect, and how a person treats others, more so characteristics, not race. This person could be everything you love and fall for them but you refuse because of race?!?! You Sound so foolish. Race has nothing to do with anything! it’s your perception of that race that paints the beauty or hideous lies that you tell yourself. lie to us to all you want but be truthful with yourself. Racism is learned, so it can be unlearned. It doesn’t mean you’re a nazi lol or you walk around in white sheets, it just mild form of racism. It’s not proactive racism that try’s to hurt others. It’s more on the lines of biasism. Be a person. Thank you

    1. 182.1

      HUMAN is all there really is. If you have a race preference then you have a bit of racism in you. 

      You are confusing reason and culture with instinct.  In terms of human interaction, with all the respect etc. it implies, of course there should be no differentiation. But physical attraction obeys to laws of its own – certainly not to political correctness. There are many people who simply are not attracted to people of a different race. They may like them, respect them, hang out with them, not even think of them in terms of race – but they wouldn’t sleep with them, because the sexual attraction is not there.

      If that’s “racist”, so be it. I personally certainly couldn’t care less what anyone chooses to call me. My buttons are not pushed by other people’s labelling.


  3. 183

    People who are terribly picky in choosing partners online will relax their standards if they spend just three or four minutes talking to someone at a speed dating session.

    I don’t see how one could “relax their standards” in the case of race. Whether people like or or not, it is a matter of instinctive preferences. I’ve never felt physically attracted to people of other races, with the exception of a few (very few) black/mulatto men. I love dearly a few Asian people I know; I am just not attracted to them. Period. It’s a matter of biology; it has to be, because I’ve lived in several countries, on different continents, so it’s not that I don’t know other races. I am just not attracted to them.


    1. 183.1

      I’d argue that its not (total) a matter of biology or instinct. You could say that you just aren’t attracted to, for example, Asians and leave it at that. But that isn’t an explanation as to why (not that you owe anyone such explanation, just pointing it out). If you wanted you could list specific reasons why you don’t find other races physically attractive, just as you could list physical features that you find attractive within the race that you do like.

    2. 183.2

      HH, you’re right. Well over 90% of black men are with black women. Most people of any given particular  race are with their own people.

  4. 184

    If your a non white guy, online dating sucks. I’m a  black guy and, I dont even bother tryna get with women

  5. 185

    For me it’s really quite simple: I’m white, and I’ve only ever been interested in white men. Save for a very few exceptions, I find all asian men completely unattractive, even quite ugly for the most part. Same with blacks, except they tend to look more manly and tend to have nicer bodies, but again, no attraction there. And note that I’m purely talking about physical appearance here. I think men in general fail to realize that women are very visual, same as men. Subconsciously, I think eeryone is looking for a partner who will help to pass down their genes. Most people, men and wmen, ant their children to look like themselves, regardless of rce. I know I don’t want my children t look black or asian, or anything but wite, like me. Therek4 nothiing racist about it, it’s just human nature, and it’s perfectly normal for most people to feel that way. Sure there are exceptions, but they only confirm the rule.

    1. 185.1

      Db, is it really necessary to tell us that you find Asian men ugly? Not being attracted to someone vs finding it important to tell others who you find them down right ugly is just not cool.  That’s like a man running around saying stuff like, “I think brunettes are ugly!”, “I think women with small/large chests are ugly!” …Who does that? You can’t really think it’s normal to talk about who you think is ‘ugly’. 
      I also think it’s important to point out that biologically, we actually seek people who have different genes and immune systems from ourselves. Otherwise, if we were simply seeking people who were similar to us, we would be interested in our own siblings and cousins. 
      Sure, there is a certain factor of commonality and like-mindedness that is attractive because of shared life experiences, and such. Which has a lot to do with socialization. You have probably been surrounded by white people most of your life and are more comfortable with white people. But nature is a complex system that is actually not biologically strengthened when we pick people with similar genes and DNA similar to our own. Nature is very much juxtapositioned by people seeking out people with diverse set of genes and immune systems from themselves to strengthen their genes. It’s the reason incest creates birth defects. 
      I also need to say that people who have babies with other people of other races no more or less have children that don’t look like them then when two white people have babies. And in all honesty, more people are getting into mixed-race relationships because it’s estimated by 2050, that there will be more mixed-race people than whites. For the record, I am white too. 
      It’s rather telling that you felt you needed to claim you weren’t racist after making a lot of comments that well. 
      It’s one thing to not be attracted to people of other races. It’s another to suggest that having babies with people of other races will look less like you or the fact you thought it was okay to call asian men ‘ugly’ simply because you’re not attracted to them. Do you run around calling out everyone else you find ugly too? 

  6. 186
    New Order


    Despite Jewish Hollywood’s negative sterotype of Asian men. (I just love how Jews in Hollywood love to paint themselves in positive light or as victims while disparaging others.)

    One out of three East Asian guys ( Korean,Japanese,Chinese) who were born or raised in US are marrued to white women. That’s according to gov”t stats. Thats a very high percentage. Also these couples have higher education and income levels than any other unions.  Meaning East Asian guys dont date lower class wonen.

    While Souheast Asian guys have much harder time. So I’m assuming they just lumped all Asians regardless of regional geography.

    Obviously recent immigrants are going to stick to their own as they are not assimilated.



    1. 186.1
      Michael Ejercito

      That should not be surprising. White women vastly outnumber Asian women in the U.S..

  7. 187

    The evidence suggests that even though people may regard themselves as progressive, everyone has hidden stereotypes, biases and prejudices that influence their thinking. The frustrating part is that these were not taken on board by choice, they have been ingrained in us all by our parents, friends, teachers, peers, movies, media, books and society. Due to our ego having the job of protecting our self esteem, the brain forgets those incidents and even covers up, that which shows us that we have these hidden prejudices, in order to maintain the notion that we are good people. In reality there are no good people, only people who possibly do good things. Our ingrained, unconscious belief in stereotypes is the real reason as to why people are reluctant to date outside of their ethnicity, why people impose height and weight restrictions and even fiscal restrictions on those we would be open to. Most people think that attraction is a mystical process, something that is ephemeral and undefinable, something that just is or isn’t, some of which is true, but at the behest of the other side: nurture. Our adaptive unconscious is one of the true driving forces of humans, able to make us act and do things that we have no idea we are going to do, only to have our conscious mind confabulate a reason for our actions. Our AU (adaptive unconscious) operates on learned associations, that is when we see, hear, feel, taste and smell things, it triggers an unconscious association with the source of external input. You smell warm bread, it triggers all the things we associate with that smell, such as hunger and eating, comfort, some may even have negative associations. Once all the associative neurons have fired, the output is then compared to a table of things held within our AU. It measures intensity of the output, the shape of it, its dimensions. It then sees which feeling on the table best fits the output and generates that feeling. This is then conveyed to the conscious mind to which it experiences the generated feeling, and then associates an emotion to it. These associations are learned through experience, through repetitive messages, or through false experiences, such as substituting hours playing call of duty as real experience of what a battlefield is like. Some of those associations are hardwired and most are learned. Apply this to attraction. We see someone. Our learned, AU associations fire. Associations based on height, weight, skin colour, build, hair colour, apparent health. Some of the triggered associations will be positive, some will be negative. The output is compared to the table and a feeling is generated and passed to the conscious mind. We interpret the feeling and if it fits our internal category of attraction, then we assume attraction. Combine this process with the positive and negative stereotypes that we unconsciously believe and you can figure out how reluctance to date outside of ethnicity is simply the application of associated stereotypes. This is what marketing and advertising companies use to make money, the creation of unconscious associations. They are absorbed by us when we are not paying attention. When we run on autopilot, it is our AU that is directing our actions, monitoring our surroundings and it is when we are most open to the creation of associations. When someone’s says “would you like an apple?”, you are already thinking not only about the food source, but the massive software company as well, and depending on what your associations are in regards to those things; positive or negative, it will dictate your response.

  8. 188

    White women in America are in fact for many of them racists. If a White girl go out with an African American guy its just by interest Just see there rarely interatial marriages in the U.S, comunotarism dominates. Im Black French myself, but if I am proposed to put a White American woman and a German woman, if I have to choose, I prefer to go out with the German one. I didnt say Ill marry a White woman, but I prefer, as its just been said the Deutscher one.

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