Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

I want to know where you stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” thing. Recently I moved to the country/ town where my boyfriend lives, after a few months of long-distance relationship with visits intermittent. Things had been great between us. Of course it’s early days. We’ve both been loving, attentive, kind and considerate. Two things happened when I got here, however, which have me thinking. I don’t know if they’re related.

First, when I arrived I was very ill with a horrible cold. My boyfriend was also sick (with food poisoning) but he avoided me physically. No hugging, kissing… He explained it was because he didn’t want to get sick again in the last few days before his work ended before vacation. I was hurt but understood. I had thought he’d lost interest but took what he said and accepted it. Second, a few days ago while he was on skype with his dad, a text-message came to him on the phone. Yes, I made the mistake of looking at it! We hadn’t been private about these things in the past at all. The text was from his ex-girlfriend arranging to meet him for lunch on Friday. I made the additional mistake of scrolling back and then realised they’d been talking while I was making him dinner. He had gone outside to speak privately, and I had a hunch it was something untoward.

Well, I wrote a note saying “I’m sorry I invaded your privacy. When the text came I thought it might have been important. Your ex-girlfriend wasn’t to meet you for lunch on Friday.” I was very tired and just went up to bed. He came up soon after and we talked. He defended being friends with her (they dated for about two years) saying she helped him during a very difficult time in his life and so on. I told him I didn’t think it was appropriate. Also, I pointed out his tendency to keep his relations with her private. Once in the past, he had received a text from her and he turned over the phone so I wouldn’t notice. I made no comment at that time…

I think it is unacceptable for him to be meeting her, texting and talking with her when he is four months into a new relationship. What do you think? He said he’s not attracted to her and so on, but I just don’t like the idea of him hanging out with her, what if he invites her over for dinner, etc? By the way, I do trust my boyfriend, but I find it almost an insult to me, or to our relationship, that he would still be in touch with her. Please answer my question, I’d love to know what you think. Thanks, Emily

Dear Emily,

Yeah, you probably asked the wrong guy.

I think you are particularly sensitive to your own needs and feelings and somewhat clueless about the needs and feelings of your boyfriend. So let’s get this straight:

Your boyfriend has only lost interest if he shows no affection when you’re both healthy, not when you’re both sick.

While it may not feel good to have your boyfriend keep his distance when you had a horrible cold, you have to admit, it’s pretty practical, isn’t it? My wife travels for a living and I can recall at least two times when she wouldn’t kiss her sick husband because it might jeopardize her health before a trip. How selfish would it be for my need for affection to outweigh my wife’s need to stay healthy? How insecure would I have to be to think that my wife’s act of self-preservation was somehow an insult to me?

This is paranoid thinking and it serves you no practical purpose. Your boyfriend has only lost interest in you if he shows no affection when you’re both healthy, not when you’re both sick. Cut him some slack, will ya?

Next, you “made the mistake of looking at his text message,” and then “you made the mistake of scrolling back and reading the conversation” and then you made the mistake of bringing this whole thing up with him and then you made the mistake of thinking that it’s inappropriate for ex’s to be friends… I could go on, but this is enough of a run-on sentence already.

Jealousy is a useless emotion, Emily. The only thing that jealousy indicates is how insecure you are. It says nothing about your boyfriend.

If you have a man that’s untrustworthy, then he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. If he’s your boyfriend, then you have no choice but to trust him completely.

If you don’t trust him because you’re insecure about his friendship with his ex, you’re only going to accomplish the following:

1) You’ll make him feel like crap because his own girlfriend doesn’t trust him.
2) You’ll make him feel trapped because he’s dating someone who reads his text messages.
3) You’ll make him feel that he can’t be honest with you about his friendship with his ex – because he CAN’T.
4) You’ll make him feel that he can find a woman who DOES trust him.
5) You’ll make him feel that he can’t be himself around you, which is the highest compliment a man can give to a woman.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, Emily, and if you don’t have it, you don’t really have anything.

Good men and women stay in touch with their exes because their exes are kind people with whom they share a lot of history. What you forget when you’re jealous of the ex is that there’s a REASON they broke up. And if he’s with you now, shut the hell up and trust that there’s a reason he’s with you, too.

You’ll be surprised at how well men respond to being trusted.

There’s no reason for a man to destroy all evidence of his past just because he’s dating you. I have photos, love letters, and emails from women in my past. I even wrote to my ex on Facebook today. She’s had us over for dinner multiple times. Not to mention that my wife has her first wedding album in a drawer in our home. What? I should make her burn it because I’M insecure that she left him 6 years ago?

If you’re insulted that your boyfriend is in touch with his ex, that’s your prerogative, but you’re pretty much ensuring the destruction of your own relationship.

Because any man who cuts off his friendships because of an insecure ex will get what he deserves – an irrationally jealous girlfriend who will never trust him no matter what.

Be a class act and invite her over for dinner.

You’ll be surprised at how well men respond to being trusted.

P.S. A woman’s fear of being hurt is one of the main reasons why men disappear. Click here to learn more:

6
2

Join 5 Million Readers

And the thousands of women I've helped find true love. Sign up for weekly updates for help understanding men.

I hate spam as much as you do, therefore I will never sell, rent, or give away your email address.

Join our conversation (257 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.

Comments:

  1. 91
    Mr_Right

    Interesting discussion. I’ve read the post and the comments, and I’m going to have to disagree with your advice, Evan.

    First of all, I do agree that it’s fine for him to not do the hug/kiss thing since he was trying not to be sick. It’s not personal, it’s just health-related.

    Second of all, I also think ex’s can be friends. However, I would think the right thing for the boyfriend to do is to let the girlfriend know that he’s meeting up with a ex. That is where the trust comes in. The boyfriend trusts the girlfriend enough to mention this to her.

    Jealousy is a useless emotion, I agree, but there is a certain amount of respect that is between two people when they’re in a relationship. Respect for each other, respect for the feelings of each other. And when one person does something that the other feels is disrespectful, then you have a situation.

    The question here is, is it disrespectful for the boyfriend to go to lunch with his ex, and not tell his girlfriend about it.

    Personally, I think it is a bit disrespectful.

    I think that when two people are in a relationship together, they should intentionally avoid situations that could cause damage to that relationship. The issue here is that the boyfriend and his ex have a history together.

    I agree that he’s innocent until proven guilty, but darn, if there aren’t a lot of red flags here.

    And personally, I think it would be exceedingly interesting if the girlfriend DID invite the ex over for dinner. I think that she would get a good read on her then, good or bad. The girlfriend should invite her over while the boyfriend is standing there, to see his reaction. :)

  2. 92
    healy

    It’s okay. I trust my boyfriend. That’s the best thing I should do! If my boyfriend love me then he won’t do anything that will hurt me;0

  3. 93
    Christie Hartman

    Thank you, Emily (85), for chiming in. It’s good to see that this worked out. I hoped it would.
     
    Sometimes, couples build trust through situations like this.

  4. 94
    Denise

    I think this is a result of a much bigger issue…a woman moves from her home to another city after a relatively short long-term relationship?  Let’s say they spent every weekend together for 16 weeks, that’s 32 dates.  What does someone really know about another person after 32 dates?

    It’s no wonder she’s insecure, she really has no idea who this man is.  Not saying he’s a bad guy, but these are the extreme risks in moving too quickly and relationships that start long distance.

    I think the Evan’s comments are spot on, if there was a traditional relationship where the people spent a lot of time together and was longer than 4 months.

  5. 95
    Diane

    Juju #77 – not sure you will be back to this “debate” but just in case you do, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for having the compassion to comment on my post (#41).  Seriously, the fact that you took the time to read my post and be appalled by his behavior helped me to feel like someone does understand (most people including my very good friends simply say “get over it”.).  So thanks:-)

  6. 96
    JuJu

    Diane, yeah, I try to read all the comments whenever I can. :-)
     
    The fact that it has been going on for five years indicates a staggering degree of immaturity, on both their parts. Seriously, you are better off without someone like that in your life – that’s not even a *man*. I fail to see a single redeeming quality in the way he has handled the whole thing.
     
     

  7. 97
    Honey

    @JuJu, #77 – My ex invited me, he was visiting my town (he had a job at the time that required a lot of travel).  I had no special desire to go or not go, but I agreed because I didn’t have any plans and because I actually don’t like my ex very much and was secretly hoping to find out that his life was a disaster.  I wouldn’t have made any effort to get in touch with him if I was going to be in his town.  So overall, I didn’t mind not going (though as I told Jake, the way he asked me not to go could’ve used some serious work).  Not going probably saved me from the snarkier side of myself that would’ve been trying to find out details about my ex’s life to justify my low opinion of him.

  8. 98
    Willie Pays

    Any woman or man that stays in touch with an ex raises a serious red flag. Men and women aren’t “friends”.  Hanging out with ex’s is a fail safe mechanism.
    If I was the woman, I would dump this guy. He hid this from you, he’s bound to hide something else. What man keeps in touch with his ex for “problems’. This guy would hit it if she let him in a heartbeat.
    On a lunch date too? Lol, this guy is wide open with it. Move on.

  9. 99
    Jackie

    My concern would be that he was that he seemed secretive about it.  Even though Evan had many good points, if the man was open about it with his significant other, why did he feel the need to keep it from her?  I think how this woman is feeling is perfectly understandable.

  10. 100
    thirtyseven

    but seriously.  at what point is there a difference between having a *casual* friendship or maintaining friendly *contact* with the ex (which i do with several of mine) and having a continuing daily clingy attachment with the ex of 3 years.  i understand that you spend that much time with someone and you fall into habits and routines.  you get comfortable.  and i understand that a guy & a girl can still be close friends after they split.  especially when they remain single for a while.  but when you still spend 1 or 2 nights a week together, which sometimes include sleepovers……. it looks to me like it is still a relationship, just without sex part.  he did tell her there would be no more sharing a bed from the very start of our seeing each other, so that was a relief……  but i have NEVER dated someone who also spent entire nights with another girl.  even if it is platonic.  i think it’s acceptable, albeit unhealthy, if both parties are single.  but when my boyfriend & i started getting more serious and he started asking me for exclusivity and wanting to spend more weeknights with ME…… i started feeling that the continual hanging out with the ex was becoming…….  inappropriate.  even kinda disrespectful and selfish on her part to the new girlfriend, to call him daily & with every emergency that comes up.  it seems to me that she still wants all the postives from him that she had when they were together (becasue there were many), but without having to put any efforts into it or give him sex (which was the main reason they split).

    i tried so hard to be “cool girl” in the beginning.  i didnt feel threatened by her, i didnt feel jealous.  and i “let” him do whatever he wanted.  meaning, when he said, i’m hanging out with B**** is that ok/does it bother you?  i would reply yes, it’s fine, i trust you.  and i do…….. BUT i thought as OUR relationship progressed, his with her would start to wane.  it hasn’t.  i framed it to him that i don’t ever want to tell somewhat what they can or can’t do, and i don’t want to change him…… but i also do not feel good to be in a committed relationship with someone who is basically still AS involved with his ex as he is with me.  just minus the sex.  which was non-existent even when they were dating.  i told him i want a normal, healthy relationship.  with him.  and i hope he does too, but if he wants to continue the closeness with the ex (she spent the night//entire next day at his 2 nights ago) it’s probably not be something i want to contend with.  and i don’t feel comfortable with the inappropriateness.  i’m talking giving him flying legs-wrapping around him type hugs as a greeting.  she doesn’t seem to think she needs to treat him any differently than when they *were* a couple.  even when i’m there.  he agreed, and told me that he wants a relationship with me more than anything, and that the hanging out with the ex is over.  he said he feels bad to not be there for her, she is a mess, she has a lot of problems, she is going through a hard time right now……. etc etc etc…… and that really HE HOPES SHE WILL JUST FIND A BOYFRIEND.  and i said, but you are no longer responsible for her.  you are starting something with me and she is going to have to find her own way or find someone else to swoop in and rescue her and it can’t continue to be you. 

    my question is, if he agrees with me, and agrees that the dynamic should change, why do i feel horrible like i am still controlling his actions and telling him what to do?  i SO do not want to be that girl.  just to add — i have not intiated with him once since we started dating 6 weeks ago.  i have let him always come to me and he has by leaps and bounds.  i have always been happy to see him (even when upset about her) and have always given him trust & communicated my feelings to him.  so far it has felt like the best connection i’ve ever had with a man.  but the apron strings need to be cut already if we he is to move forward with me. 

  11. 101
    Gina

    I am friends with a few of my exes and am very upfront about it when I have a boyfriend. My late mother used to say, “It isn’t what you do, it’s how you do it.” If there’s nothing to hide, then there’s no reason to be secretive. If you feel that you have to be secretive because you have a jealous partner, then you need to think twice about having that person in you life.

    On the other hand, I have the personal experience of knowing a guy who keeps in contact with his ex because he is still in love with her. Even though he moved on to other girlfriends, he never got over his ex. When the ex would give the slightest indication that they might have a chance, he’d dump the current girlfriend in order to be with her.  After he did so, the ex would tell him that they had no future. He would then look for a new girlfriend and the cycle would repeat itself.

    As I sit here writing this message, he is spending as much time as he can hanging out with this ex girlfriend, as a friend, hoping that they’ll get back together (he’s carried a torch for her for three years now). At the same time, he’s working on wooing a new girlfriend.  

    In some cases the new girlfriend may not be overreacting. She may very well have a valid reason for feeling  jealous of her boyfriend’s ex. Asking questions and talking to the guy about it can help her to make the decision to leave, saving herself a lot of pain and heartache in the long run.

  12. 102
    reneen

    I found out my man was emailing/phoning his ex (and vice versa) but dating me and proposing marriage at some point in near future. I discovered that he invited her to meetup with him and he would schedule it if that’s what she wanted. She declined his offer. Hmmmm, am I wrong to suspect foul play??!! Those siding with the BF on this are not beign realistic or are just plain stupid. (btw, i didn’t tell him i knew of this and he would not admit it to me but i threatend to leave and he cried for me to stay, so i remain for now.) No easy answer here…. or is there?  

  13. 103
    Lucia

    As a busy women focused on my career, I barely have time to see the guy I’m dating, let alone an ex.  I may talk on the phone once in a blue moon, but once I’ve moved on, I focus on the current partner, not the ex.  If I’m interested in seeing an ex in person, it’s because I’m not over him, but that’s just me.

  14. 104
    alex

    okay… i have read these comments and i gotta say.. i disagree.
    why would her boyfriend wanna be friends with his ex again?
    i mean is he THAT empty with out his ex in his life?
    whats wrong with what he has right now? isnt he happy enough with his girlfriend to not need to be friends with his ex?

    i mean he has gone this long with out being friends with her and not talking to her.. why now? why does he HAVE to fix things?
    why can he NOT live without being friends with her? seriously?
    i dont get it

  15. 105
    Karl R

    alex asked: (#113)
    “why would her boyfriend wanna be friends with his ex again?”

    Again? It sounds like he never stopped being friends with his ex. He just stopped being in a romantic relationship with her.

    alex asked: (#113)
    “i mean he has gone this long with out being friends with her and not talking to her.. why now? why does he HAVE to fix things?”

    Where are you getting this impression that he spent time without being friends with the ex? Where are you getting this idea that he’s trying to “fix things” with her?

    alex asked: (#113)
    “i mean is he THAT empty with out his ex in his life?”

    Would you ditch one of your good friends just to make your boyfriend happy?

    My good friends tend to have some common traits: I like them; I trust them; I share some common interests with them. My girlfriends all qualified as good friends (or they didn’t make it past the first few dates). Provided the breakup wasn’t too painful, we stayed friends.

    The ex has been his friend longer than Emily has been his girlfriend.

    alex asked: (#113)
    “whats wrong with what he has right now?”

    It sounds like you’re in favor of preserving the status quo. If you’re looking at it that way, the ex has been around much longer than Emily.

    alex asked: (#113)
    “isnt he happy enough with his girlfriend to not need to be friends with his ex?”

    If you want to ensure that your significant other is unhappy with you, start dictating who they can and can’t be friends with.

    reneen asked: (#111)
    “am I wrong to suspect foul play??!!”

    He’s being secretive about it, which makes me suspicious. If I were meeting with an ex, I would mention it to my girlfriend.

  16. 106
    mirely

    but…what if the ex still loves him? can they be friends then?? uh..no.. ryte?? ahhhh help!

  17. 107
    Ashley

    Not everyone is all that trustworthy. I know, I trusted a guy with my all…let him connect with his ex’s…we’d occasionally would bump into some of them from friends/family gatherings. I mean at the time I didn’t seem to have any reason NOT to trust him. Now that we’re no longer together, it makes a whole lot of sense…it’s not the guy/girl you’re with you can’t trust…it’s the EX you can’t trust sometimes. Everyone has different cases. I mean, my first and only boyfriend (same guy) who is now my ex….the new girl he’s dating..THREATENED me to stop being friends with him; meaning no communication whatsoever. Yes, I do REALLY still love him with all my heart…but I also know how to respect what’s going on between them. There are ex’s like me who know better to respect as hurt as they are. Then there are some who will use friendship with an ex as an advantage to be back in the guys life.

  18. 108
    Linda

    Exactly, Ashley.  It’s been my experience multiple times, in multiple relationships, where female friends or ex-girlfriends had designs on my then boyfriend.  They’d flirt, and butter him up and then usually there’d be some crisis in their lives and they need a male to save them.  Usually, my boyfriend. And then next thing I know, the two of them are in love, or someone’s pregnant, or things just got intense between them and there was a slip-up.
    Yes, I know I made bad choices for boyfriends that they’d cross the line but you can see the dilemma.  I’m not a jealous person, I don’t snoop but I gotta say being the calm, collected, trusting girlfriend didn’t get me any further ahead.  Oh wait, it got me a nice STD.
    I’d say it’s more important that each partner be trustworthy and open-book – than to expect to be trusted “just because”.   Yes, people lie to each other to save face, or save themselves grief, or save their partner from their own insecurities.  But that doesn’t wash in my world.  All it does is cause me to lose respect.
     
     

  19. 109
    daniel

    I had a similar thing with a girlfriend. Although i didnt invade any privacy.

    She moved out from her ex but they have a cat together and she used the washing machine. She never told me anything she was doing with her ex but sometimes she wouldnt answer when i called or go to the other room when he called her. She only told him about us after a year together.

    I even found out they took a daytrip together and that was without telling me. It was none of my business.

    And during that one year i was told how much she loved etc yet this one great friend of hers cant know about me or meet me. What emotion other than anger is expected?  

  20. 110
    Kymberly

    Coming from a woman that has had her boyfriend cheat with his ex….NO!!!
    That being said. If you are comfortable with it, sure. But keep your eyes wide open. And if you are not comfortable with it, he should respect that.

  21. 111
    Janice

    I was friends with an ex from high school from 20 years ago. His wife knew that we were friends. He would text me or call me from time to time which I didn’t mind because I thought it was just friendship. Until one day when he asked me if I missed him and how come I never initiated calls. He wanted to come visit me in another state for the sake of romantic purposes. I had to cut him off.

    Evan speaks from a position of the person who is friends with his ex not the one who is the significant other of a person who is friends with an ex. So I don’t know why anyone would think he would not defend the being friends with an ex position.

    People will get advice from anybody because they are too stupid to think for themselves.

  22. 112
    Mindy

    My boyfriend is friends with a lot of his ex’s, he talks to them and sends them flirtatious text messages.  He tells me that it’s innocent.  But, I don’t like it, I’ve asked him to stop but he tells me that I don’;t have the right to tell him who his friends are.  This is disrepectful to me and our relationship.

  23. 113
    sammie

    Wow alot of debate, very interesting subject which will continue to facinate us! My take on this is if someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat! Trying to control another person is a useless/empty action, you cannot control a person but you can contol how you react to a situation. When you are with someone you are still different people no one has the right to “let” the other do anything you are individuals and deserve to have a life and fiends outside the relationship!! And as Evan says you ultimatley have the power to walk away and be with someone who will have integrity and treat you as he would himself/herself x

  24. 114
    Jim

    My view is that an ex is an ex and while they have a part in a past life they don’t play a role in the future.

  25. 115
    Sabrina

    I don’t understand why you are considered insecure just because you don’t want to be in the same room with someone your boyfriend has slept with. I found out that at Thanksgiving dinner the girl sitting across from my boyfriend was a girl he used to run around with. I don’t know why our culture thinks I am not “normal” because I don’t think this is acceptable. I think it’s crap that I have to feel bad about feeling that way. I am not jealous of this girl but I just don’t think it’s proper and I feel that him putting me into a situation like that was just wrong. I am very happy with everything about myself and do not worry that he still “wants” her. I am just so sick of how society judges others that it ok to make someone feel bad when it is completely normal to feel uncomfortable in a situation like that.

    I understand that what she was saying about not getting attention when they were both sick might seem a little insecure but the fact that he was hiding it makes me not trust him and he shouldn’t be hiding something like that if there is nothing going on, right?

  26. 116
    sam

    Christie Hartman, you make a hellluvalot more sense to me than Evan.  I suppose when Evan buys a car he completely trusts the salesperson.  Or I suppose he would just pull a babysitter off the street to watch his kids without a reference or background check or knowing them in advance?!?!  Makes no sense.  Yes, you give people the benefit of the doubt, but trust is completely earned through the 1000′s of interactions (both conscious and subconcsious) you have with a person over the minutes, hours, weeks and months that you spend getting to know them.  Intuition is strong and it can sense when things don’t seem right.  I would argue that the reason she checks his texts is because of his secrecy.  Is it the chicken or the egg?  I absolutely do NOT think he is innocent and I don’t think he is an honest or trustworthy person.  And Evan says the reason he doesn’t tell her is because of her jealousy, but that is also hog wash.  I person with strong values/character does not compromise honesty and their values to appease a jealous girlfriend.  Instead, they stick to their core principles and they are open/honest upfront and they don’t worry about the GF’s feelings.  They would leave it up to her to figure out how she wants to deal with it either through communication/compromise on how to handle the situation or by exiting the relationship if she can’t cope with it. Bottom line is it comes down to the individual.  Evan can’t say that everyone should be ok with their spouse having lunch with an ex.  That works for him and he is probably more liberal in his beliefs.  I tend to be more conservative, so it is unacceptable for my significant other to have lunch or any type relationship with her ex.  There are women out there that feel the same, so that is obviously the type of person I need to be with in my relationships.  Evan needs more freedom in his life and it seems he has found a spouse that is supportive of that, so it seems to be working well for them, but that doesn’t mean it can/should work for everyone.  I would argue that Evan is insecure and needs these other relationships with women to validate himself.  Even his comment about “making some single women smile” at the party is a bit awkward/concerning to me.  And his comment about having “alot” of ex-GFs. I would further argue that his somewhat bohemian approach towards relationships will eventually lead to failure when the original excitement/lust/new love feeling wears off and things aren’t as exciting as they once wear.  Then those little flirting events start to potentially lead to inappropriate behavior and jealousy/insecurity sets in.  It’s just not a solid foundation to a relationship IMO.  It’s kindof like swingers.  I imagine it’s all fun and exciting at 1st, but it’s not really sustainable and in time eventually the participants become insecure or find themselves having stronger attractions to the other parties.  Same thing will happen to Evan by him participating in so many relationships with other women and his ex-GF’s. These external relationship and “fantasies” of these other women will make him quickly run when things start to get tough at home. Mark my words…his marriage will never last!!! I think this Evan guy is a complete hoax and by his looks/comments he seems like a complete “playa” to me! 

     

    1. 116.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      I approved that comment, Sam, because it was the funniest one I’ve gotten in weeks.

      Thanks for psychoanalyzing me based on my looks, my flirtatious personality, and my friendships with exes. You’ve got a future as a critic with your spot-on, incisive views about what makes men like me tick.

      Seriously, I was thinking of swinging or taking my “playa” game to some hot Hollywood club, but, thanks to you, I’m going to snuggle next to my wife upstairs and watch “Castle” on ABC.

      Really appreciate the reality check.

      Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get back to my failing marriage and my hoax of a dating coaching business. And you can go back to coaching football or whatever you do, okay?

  27. 117
    Mayz

    Nice article Evan.
     
    For the record, I’m friends with my last two exes. It took a while after the break up to get to that point, where we were past the hurt of break up. But their current  g/fs have no reason to fear. I have no interest in bedding them. They were a huge part of my life and still mean a lot to me. They are good people and I would never unfriend them, just because my current partner would want me to. 
    Just my  two cents.

  28. 118
    ana

    well… why would someone be in so close contact with his/her ex?! Let begone be begone…why to carry the old package with you to a new relationship. Of course,a woman wouldn’t like you’re sharing your time with the woman you once were intimate with, the ties are there, it is never pure friendship!!!! We are jealous to emotions our man can still have for ex, he doesnt have to be physical with her. It is the matter of RESPECT. If you are over with ex, then let this person GO. WHat kind of stupid thing it is to invite an ex to dinner ?????? Yakkkkkkkk

  29. 119
    ana

    moreover, sometimes the party who was dumped still has some emotions… hope… etc…I wouldn’t like my boyfriend to hang with an ex who dumped him. No way. It is disrespectful. And he still has ties with his ex, maybe hope, maybe who knows what….a clever man will never do this to his woman.

  30. 120
    ana

    Plus…it is not the matter of who is wrong and who is right…”I don’t have any intention with my ex and my gf must/should/need to understand it”. Why should she has to understand this???? A man (or a woman) is there to create a wonderfull feeling in another person, not to make another one start doubting…and doubts are fatal…you can never know how the other side will actually take your ex gf story… you may ruin what you have with this ex gfs nonsence. Ex is ex and let her be EX.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>