This Is NOT What I Do As a Dating Coach

When people think dating coach, unfortunately, this is what they probably think. You can thank the pick-up artist community for inspiring such wonderful comedy. My job, as I see it, is mostly in stopping women from going out with guys like this. Anyway, enjoy the video, and have an amazing weekend.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/coaching/

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/free-advice/

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Mikko Kemppe

    Hahaaa :), that is pretty funny.

  2. 2
    Steve

    I thought Neil Straus’ book was an interesting read and had some good points to offer mixed in with some of the uglier things written about.

    However, I am glad that those kids made this video. Its about time somebody mocked the banal copycat suburban exiles like the deserve to be.

  3. 3
    Michael

    The world of “pickup” is a double-edged sword. There are a lot of good principles in there: every man who can read women better and assert himself socially is simply a more desirable man. However, the “community” is a personality-sucking black hole where everyone seems to either be jockeying for approval from someone, or openly feuding with someone.

    The sad thing about the video is that there really are guys who have paid $1000 for a seminar and still can’t tell “your shoes look like garbage” from playful banter.

    But don’t worry, Evan, we know you’re more like “Hitch.” (Heh.)
    .-= Michael´s last blog ..Eat Right =-.

  4. 4
    Janet

    Very amusing! Although I don’t see anything new in the message. In contemporary times males have always used offense to “get” females, swearing (to other males) that it “works,” and then bragging about and inflating their “stats.”

    Here’s another POV on this: Men like this are very easy to use for sex–they do all the work. So a woman knows that sex in and of itself is readily available any time she wants it. Maybe women are more focused on the pursuit of relationship because men are so easy to “get” for n.s.a. sex , and why pursue something that is in ready supply?

    If this is male “wiring” in action, I would say that it is working against the males in favor of the females.

    The one positive thing about the PUA, from a feminist POV, is that implicit in the message is the notion of consent. You have to manipulate the woman into consenting, but she does have to consent. In the past men were taught to use so-called seduction techniques that today are considered criminal–like getting a girl drunk and “taking advantage” of her. Probably the reason the laws about what consent is and what it isn’t arose because the PUA techniques of the past were so abusive.

    So, progress. Still ridiculous, though.

  5. 6
    Karl R

    Evan said:
    “You can thank the pick-up artist community for inspiring such wonderful comedy.”

    I generally have a low opinion of PUA advice. However, it’s founded on some really solid principles. Then some guys took the principles, gave them new names, and came up with overcomplicated techniques for applying them.

    Peacocking:
    You don’t need to wear a big hat and big medallions. What is the core principle behind this idea? “Stand out from the crowd.” That’s sensible advice.

    On Saturday a friend (one of my dance instructors) invited me to join her and her friends at a bar that we’d never been to. After she introduced me to them, we hit the dance floor. It quickly became obvious that we were the two best dancers in the place. For the rest of the evening I could comfortably walk up to any unattached woman in the place and ask her to dance.

    That’s essentially identical to peacocking. Everyone in the bar noticed me. More importantly, I didn’t have to do anything that seemed unnatural to me. I just did something that I do a few times a week — go dancing.

    And you can stand out of the crowd in any manner. If you’re 6’9″, you stand out in the crowd. If you’re in a wheelchair, you stand out in the crowd. Standing out can be the most normal thing in the world.

    Negging:
    This seems to be a combination of two good ideas. “Be witty” and “Don’t be a suck-up”. Both are sensible, and fairly obvious, advice.

    There are lots of ways to avoid being a suck-up. The easiest is to have opinions. If a lady says she likes sushi, I mention that I don’t. I’m not insulting about it, but I won’t change my opinion about sushi just because I find her attractive. Usually the lady will ask why not, so I’ll reply, “I like my food to have at least a passing acquaintance with fire.” (My way of saying that I prefer cooked foods to raw — and it frequently gets a laugh.)

    And that ties nicely to the second point. Be witty. Have fun with the conversation. That doesn’t require you to poke fun at the lady. The goal is to make her laugh … repeatedly. You can make fun of yourself, use a clever turn of phrase, or do anything else that makes her laugh.

    Last night an attractive lady offered me a ride home from the dance hall (which I happily accepted). As she pulled out of the parking lot, I looked over at her and said, “You know, I’ve always wanted a chauffeur who looked exactly like you.”

    Witty banter can even be a compliment. It doesn’t have to involve anything “negative”.

    The PUAs do have some good points. But those points often get lost in their jargon and techniques.

  6. 7
    downtowngal

    Janet/Karl, good points. It’s all in the delivery. (quality) women are attracted to guys who are comfortable in their own skin.

    Karl’s example re: sushi is a good one. If you don’t like something the lady perfers, don’t sound too negative about it because that comes off as insulting. I’ve actually had this experience; while I don’t expect guys to share my preferences, a blunt, “NO” is a turnouff. Rather than say, “no I don’t like it”, either say something like Karl’s example, or tell her what you DO like. Keep it positive, nobody wants to be around a Negative Ned.

    Personally I’m not a fan of negging. Some women are ok w sarcasm, but I generally find it insulting. The idea of seduction (or whatever you wanna call it) is to flatter your partner into making her feel good about herself. DUH!!!

  7. 8
    Lance

    C’mon, dude, this vid is hilarious. Who’s wearing the backwards hats? Who’s wearing the backwards hat?

  8. 9
    American Girl

    They are so funny and amusing! Love it

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