Comments on: What Do I Do If A Guy Is In Love With Me, But I Don’t Feel As Strongly Yet?

By: vicky

vicky — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 07:29:55 +0000

im currenty goin through the same thing, except ive never face to face met the guy. we have talked on the phone texted sent pics of each other so we know what each other looks like. i met him on facebook a year and a half ago. i like him alot and care for him but i stumbled when he told me he loved me… (which was like an hr ago) he stopped texting me and im afraid he wont talk to me. i care so much for him i just think its irrational to say i love you when we havent met face to face. He not blinded by love i dont think hes real.. and i hurts me that i hurt him. the only advice i can give you is if you care about him tell him dont make him feel like theres no chance what so ever. you can only hope he will understand how your feeling. i hope he does for my sake as well…

By: Sametta

Sametta — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:44:50 +0000

Personally, I don’t feel comfortable when a man likes me too fast. I feel as though he’s only taking half of who I am and running with it. That type of fast liking could easily be interpreted as desperation. Because, I’ll ask myself, why do you like me so much and you barely have been around me long enough to see all of me? I feel more comfortable when a man has seen me in many different situations with many different personalities, then after, can still say, I like her, or, I am interested in her. I would believe that. I was friends with a guy once who was so smitten, he thought I was perfect and could do no wrong. On one hand it was sweet for someone to think of me that way, but on the other hand, it was a false perception of the entirety of my character. If I am going to be with someone, they have to know me in every way. They have to know I am not a perfect person. I don’t want a guy who thinks I am so perfect I can do no wrong. That is not reality. I feel better being in a relationship with someone who knows me for all that I am and accepts me. That type of relationship, I have more faith in. Then, here are no surprises or disappointments.

By: Lance

Lance — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:50:46 +0000

@Carol: Sounds great, I hope this one works out. The only other thing I could add is to make sure he feels loved at whatever level you’re currently at… if he’s a gem, he needs to be appreciated even if there’s catching up going on. Practice the love languages and let him know.

By: Sue

Sue — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:05:29 +0000

Sometimes I feel I am in this situation. Perhaps it is pre-marital jitters but I always felt like he was in love with me and I just simply loved him. But from a lot personal reflection I’ve come to realize that “the one” that I’ve been chasing was really an improved version of myself which makes me feel very narcissistic.
He is a great man who would be classified as the “nice guy”. So it can be tough sometimes because there is a part of me that wants that more masculine alpha male aspect that makes men more driven and passionate and a leader. Sometimes I don’t want to feel like the leader or decision maker. Anyway, I do realize he is a gem, it is just tough sometimes to not feel the chemistry or passion that can easily fizzle if I decided to elsewhere.
All that rambling to say I agree with you Evan!

By: Frumpalicious

Frumpalicious — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:21:28 +0000

I think someone always loves the other more although how can we measure the intensity of love? All I know is that it feels great when two people are in love, but it seems to be hard to come by.

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:02:32 +0000

Carol, that’s awesome!

This is a case study of communicating honestly (her) and respecting the other one’s feelings (him). As a result it appears to be making her like/respect him more.

By: Carol

Carol — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:07:49 +0000

Continuing the story–today my guy calls me and tells me that he doesn’t want to put any pressure on me and that I should just take things as slowly as I am comfortable. I breathe a sigh of relief, but also immediately feel better about him and what a great guy he is. He also says that if we give it time and I never fall in love with him, he will be hurt of course, but just wants me to be happy and hopes we would still be friends. This guy is doing everything right, every day I am getting more into him as I realize what a gem he is.

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:50:08 +0000

Sayanta #15, I think DD#12 is being a bit cynical while describing the theory that people only like what they can’t have.

that doesn’t seem to be the case w Carol. It sounds as if she knows what she wants and likes/respects this guy, likes him more every time she sees him and can appreciate his charm. No games here.

By: Sayanta

Sayanta — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:08:45 +0000

“But if he took his balls back and stopped contacting you as often as he does, I bet the tables would turn very quickly.”

That was an interesting choice of words. I just want to make sure I don’t misunderstand you- are you saying that showing genuine loyalty and interest in a woman is not masculine?

By: Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach

Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:17:48 +0000

To Carol at #10,
I think that is a very good sign. Sounds like you have met a really great guy, and a great coach to help you along also!! I wish you all of the best!!