Comments on: What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?

By: Dan

Dan — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 13:42:46 +0000

I think a big reason that guys lie on-line is that a lot of women base their choices on criteria like height, age, weight, hair, etc.
I just joined Match.com. I was blown away that more than 50% of the women wanted men taller than 5’10″ and I should mention that this is coming from women 5’9″ or shorter (most were in the 5’2 to 5’8 range). As a guy, I feel like I am immediately off limits to them when I am an inch shorter and meet all the other “statistical criteria.”
I’ve also been on Plenty of Fish. I notice that lots of women want younger guys, or that they have an upper limit of 40 years old. Here are common examples: 38 year old woman wants a guy 30 to 40. If I am 41, what do I do if I really want to introduce myself to her? I can’t.
It you are a guy just shy of 5’10″ and even 1 day over 40, you have been rejected by a vast range of the on-line dating pool. I don’t like to like, and I haven’t, but I’m seriously thinking of dropping my age by 1 or 2 years.

By: michelle

michelle — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 19:50:51 +0000

100%.
Avg 3~5 inc shorter and they are not fit or slender but pudgy if not obese with big beer bellies they can’t button their shirts…. I enjoy active life style so if a person rather linger to watch sports on tv gulping soda or beer rather than do actually play sports, then we are not compatible. Therefore, I weed out ‘average (b/c I’m convinced that average means few extra pounds in the online dating world.) and ‘few extra pounds’ and contact ‘fit and athletic’ exclusively. Not only none of them fell into the category but shorter than they said on their profile. Photoshopped or ancient pictures or whatever, men in 40~50, please do something about your weight issues as it is a preventive health care practice.
I agree with Susan.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 20:33:01 +0000

Like one of the posters above, I lie about my age ’cause I get away with it, period. Have to, ’cause if I put my real age I would get next to no emails even from average Joes. On a scale of 1-10, I’ve been told I’m an 8 or 9 in looks…..Men are that sexist/ageist here in South Carolina though I date many “Yankees”. LOL….Still, it’s really, really discouraging I have to do this. Prior to online dating I was always very upfront about my age to everyone. Proud of my age, generation, etc.

But like the poster above, though 58 now I’ve been told a lot I look 39-40 or maybe 45 (depends upon sleep, lighting, you name it!), so I did it early on. And yes, I’ve had plastic surgery. Otherwise I am honest about all the rest.

I also give my last name sometime after the first or second date so if these men weren’t so self-absorbed and/or busy they could easily google me and get at my real age. So far NOT A SINGLE MAN has done this to my knowledge. In any case, by the third date I usually tell the man I’m “further along in my fifties” but if he needs an exact number, well….I tell them “why go there- is it relevant?” I’m an athlete, never get sick, look so young, etc. We are all aging I’ve decided and women outlive men so that’s my ultimate justification I guess….

I mean what’s the point if I am only looking for a weekend boyfriend (what I typically tell me) and NOT another husband?

I don’t think I’ve met many men who lied about their age (maybe one), but two clearly used an OLD photo. One guy used a current photo but I think God himself took it, ’cause when we met I was somehow NOT the same man, hard to explain….

By: walter

walter — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 10:08:34 +0000

100% of them (two); that killed it for me, one said she was 15 years younger and the other that she was 75 pounds lighter. never again; I don’t trust online dating.

By: Evan Marc Katz

Evan Marc Katz — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:54:38 +0000

@Megan: This might be the funniest comment I’ve ever received on this blog. My eyes are blue-green. When it’s well-lit, you can see it very clearly, as in the professional photos on my website. When I’m taking a video with my flipcam, my irises are large, because they’re trying to take in light, and you can’t see the color of my eyes. I have never altered the color of my eyes for a photo. The only thing I’ve ever lied about is saying that I’m 5’10″, when I’m actually closer to 5’9″.

You really must chill.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 07:20:35 +0000

Even Evan Marc Katz lies in his profile. On his website and PR photos his eyes are blue. But in his video they are brown. What is up with that!?

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 16:29:08 +0000

Oh, please…80% or more. I’ve had one guy who posted a 20 year-old picture. I would not even have recognized another date if hadn’t brought his dog along for our walk. He was 10 years older and 30 lbs heavier than his pictures… good thing his dog was not! The other thing that gets me is clearly overweight men who say they are “athletic and toned”. Hefting a few weights at the gym to firm up your triple chin is NOT being fit. I work out every day and keep thin to be more attractive to men. Being a former fatty I know men don’t date heavy women. I think I have a right to expect the same from my potential partners.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 01:43:14 +0000

Funny, I clicked on a profile once and it was like that age enhancing software that is used to find missing children.
It was like someone the profile was rigged so that the main picture was what turned out to be something that was easily 20 years old (as in taken 20 years ago, not a picture of the person at 20)…so when you went to the profile, it was like looking at pictures of the same person’s father.
The guy was using a pic from when he was probably in his 30′s and must currently be in his late 50′s, so of course the age he had listed was a huge lie b/c I’m in my 30′s and I’m not looking for a father figure.
A lot of men who do include body shots seem to misunderstand what “athletic and toned” means, and I wouldn’t care although many of those “athletic and toned” men as well as some that are heavy, still demand only “slender” women, of which I am not.
I think some men have figured out to lie about their ages to be included in searches that would filter them out, and others will use a younger main profile pic to appear younger for the same reason (and one guy’s first line was an angry missive about why it was really okay for him to use a decade old shot from his modeling days).
I just assume that ALL men lie about their heights by 2 inches on average (as a 5’6 tall woman men my height seem to believe that they are 5’8), and I wouldn’t even being to believe any published income info. (I wonder why that is on there b/c I feel like men will lie about it and as a women who earns well it’s not exactly something that I get points for, so why bother?)
Some people have unusual ways of defining race and ethnicity too, but usually it relates to what they want to wind up with rather than what they actually are.

By: Michael17

Michael17 — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 22:39:36 +0000

I am in my late 30′s, and most of the women I date are in advertised their profile as being in late 20′s to early 30′s.

I’ve been lucky. There are things I don’t like about online dating, but I do have to admit that every girl I’ve met seems to have been more or less truthful about their profile. “More or less” is the key expression. They were truthful about where they graduated, what they did for a living, their pictures being up to date, far as I could tell. I have met a couple women, though, who was maybe an inch taller than advertised, and one girl I suspect is a year older than advertised (she said she graduated in 200x which would make her a year older than she listed in her profile unless she skipped grades or something).

I get that the prose in people’s online dating profiles is marketing/exaggeration. Everyone says that they are “laid back and adventurous and has family and friends they would do anything for” and I’m sure that maybe 30% of the time, everyone probably can be accurately described this way. So I take it not too seriously.

By: Trisha

Trisha — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 15:52:55 +0000

In my experience, I would say half. I’m 5’10″, so the biggest lie is their height – men tend to add an inch or two. Then it’s body type and most recently age. I agree with Genie – one pic is always a red flag. I post as many as can be allowed and they are always within the last 12 months showing not just head shots (another red flag).