You may be right that she is only being nice or polite in replying to an email.  Thank you for all of your good advise.  This whole dating thing is definitely not fun.  I don’t like the drama and the games.

Nothing within my emails suggest or asking her out.  Nada! 

I see one critical difference in our situations. My girlfriend believed that it was her responsibility to withstand the temptation. She didn’t blame me for providing the temptation. When I was in her situation, I made conscious choices to have sex, even though it might have been a bad idea. In making those choices, I accepted that I might have to live with the consequences.

Your girlfriend is holding you responsible for her choice. That’s immature. As an adult I accept responsibility for my own actions. I also respect my partners’ ability to make their own choices.

Do you really want to be in a serious relationship with someone who can’t take responsibility for her own decisions?

I sometimes subscribe to the “Tough Love” philosophy of helping people.    Most of us thought that you should walk away from this lady, but you didn’t.  You sent her an email.   Why?   What your actions signal to me is that regardless of the advice given, you are going to try to win her over.   Based on what you indicated happened with her,  I think you are setting yourself up for heartache.  But, I already told you that.  The fact that she responded to your email is not a reason to get your hopes up.  She’s probably just trying to be nice or polite — that’s why I answer the emaisl of men I have absolutely no intention of seeing again.   If a woman doesn’t want to see you again after she has had sex with you, you are done. 

I am no dating expert.  I am only going by my personal experience and the things I have read.  So, once again, my advice is to move onto someone else.  Don’t waste time on her — and that means no emails, no calls, no texts,  no nothin’. 

I really don’t know David, but often when people who “just aren’t into you” pop back up, it’s because they didn’t find anyone they really liked during the interim. Doesn’t mean they “came to their senses”, usually just means they are  bored and/or horny.

I suppose giving her another chance would depend on how you feel about her shooting you down  after she got your hopes up.  Again.

Cannot believe this.  I checked in with her with a simple “How are you?” email and to my surprise, I got an email back initiating communications with questions.  I wrote her back.  Been out of this dating game for a while since I was married so not sure what to expect to do.  Any comments?

What you described is something many women have gone through: guy seems really interested the first few dates, sex occurs and then the guy becomes distant, backs away.  The woman is left wondering “What happened?”  It’s confusing and it does hurt and feels like the guy was two different people. It becomes pretty obvious upon reflection that the guy really wasn’t interested in the woman as a potential girlfriend, just interested in having sex with her at that point in time.

Reverse the genders and it sounds as though this is what happened in your situation, with the added little barb of being called *aggressive*.  And you’ve drawn the conclusion many women have: Don’t have sex until you’ve taken the time to get to know each other.

Though I’m sure it stings right now, I think you really dodged a bigger bullet down the road by finding out how this woman operates before getting more emotionally invested.