Comments on: Why Do Guys Send Text Messages to Keep in Touch While Dating?

By: nikki T

nikki T — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 05:45:42 +0000

Well i must say i got a guy i met like about 3 weeks ago and we had sex the 3rd day from the day we met (my choice) because thats what i wanted to do with him all alone, (i approached him first by the way), anyway the first day we met we talked on the phone for like 3 hours, and 2 days later i met him at a bar and later that night we did it and he only still text me, but even in person he really doesn’t have that much to say (but blush) and he told me he was shy because whenever i leave the room he text me. actually we only talked on the phone like 3 times these 3 weeks we’ve been communicating, but hey i don’t want no relationship with him, look i said all this to say just cause a guy would rather text you instead of call doesn’t really mean that he is just not that into you, he could just be shy, young, not really a phone person, or a complete clown, but in my case he’s shy cause after we had sex he texted me “will i still call him tomorrow and how was it” and he’s been texting me every since, i think he want to sex me again but just don’t know how to ask me………..LOL

By: hamsterdance

hamsterdance — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 08:05:48 +0000

If a guy calls me instead of texting he’s very likely to get my voicemail, and that irritates me because it takes longer to check voicemail and if I’m in a noisy area (like work) I can’t hear it well. I’d much rather he just text me.
I also have great conversations in person but find talking on the phone diffucult. I have a hard time understanding many people if I can’t read their lips.

By: Prerna

Prerna — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:12:20 +0000

I disagree with the article…especially when it says that guys dont think of you and ONLY want to get into your pants when they text you instead of calling. My bf and I have been together for a year and a half and its been a 80:20 ratio to text and calling. It only means we have our own different lives and do different things but still take out time for each other to send a small text all through the day. Especially, with the new Black Berry messenger thing, its so quick if both of you have a blackberry, you can even get to know if the other person has read your text or not! Yeah, sure I would be mad if the relationship was based only on texting but if you see each other everyday or a couple times in the week and talk on the phone when you really want to, then its not like you have too much to talk on the phone. With texting, you can even send a quick and spontaneous thought about what you were thinking and what you are doing. Wouldnt it be too suffocating if your partner called you like every hour saying what he/she just thought about and is so eager to share it with you? I say, that too much of everything is not good either. So if a relationship is only based on texting then somethings wrong but it wont hurt either to text everyday and talk a couple of times a week apart from the time you spend with each other physically.

By: Gina

Gina — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:03:59 +0000

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that finds it revolting to receive text messages from someone I’ve been seeing for 9 mos. Yes, he’s the IT manager for some big company but it’s no excuse. He’s 56 yrs old. C’mon. Way past GEN Y. It’s cute to get a “thinking about you” text in the middle of the day but a phone call would intensify the intimacy level a hundred times more and make a woman feel so special instead of a text. I told him.
Texters and emailers remind me of all the men that attempted to cheat on their wives or girlfriends by being “my friend” and amusing themselves with a “secret” friend they can text. It happens a lot and when I start to see this pattern I tell them so and stop responding to their emails or text. I hate that…..So guys, don’t pretend to ask a female for her email because you “want to keep in touch”. Fix your problems with your current partner first before insuring that you will have someone waiting for you. Don’t worry, you’ll find that someone. It’s not a big deal but don’t cheat.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:52:15 +0000

I really think it has to do with a age not gender. I am 25 yrs old and the fact that I text somebody does not mean I like them more or less. It just means I am thinking of you and can’t have a conversation right now cause I am BUSY! Which is actually good because eventhough I am busy at work or wherever it means I am thinking of that person and going the extra mile to communicate with them.. If you don’t like it then tell the other person and be honest about it.. STOP PLAYING GAMES period!

By: zendba

zendba — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:18:09 +0000

Great article, and terrific insight. I personally was dealing with a “gexter”, that would be “girl texter”….I viewed her texting instead of phoning as a major red flag. What I didn’t know was how to deal with it . Decided to go with the odds that she is full of crap, and she is basically lying about her interest level by substituting text messages for voice calls… I now no longer respond to her text messages ( hilarious that she texts me asking why I haven’t texted her back ) If she actually does call ( which I doubt will happen ), I’m going to lie to her and tell her that I’m not getting all of my text messages, and have spoken to Verizon about it, and they don’t know why. I’ll of course tell her that she should call me instead of texting, to make sure we don’t miss her messages. Now of course I agree 100% this is childish, and totally resent having to resort to such tactics, but you know what….All is fair in love & war, and being honest in the adult dating game in your 40’s is like fighting with both your hands behind your back. And really what am I going to do ? Tell the person that is texting me instead of calling me that it is an uacceptable level of primary communication ? Maybe I should also explain to her that it is easier to breath without a plastic bag over your head. What I don’t need is someone that I need to educate on proper manners & common courtesy.
Excellent article…I hope my experience helps someone else.

By: Bill Thompson

Bill Thompson — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 09:28:07 +0000

I had an hour long conversation with someone on text when it was after nine and a five or ten minute conversation would be free. This girl that I met online claims to really really like me, but I find this to be agitating. I think texting someone instead of calling them is a form of hard-to-get for the 21st century. I actually see it as a major red flag that a woman/man can’t pick up a phone and talk for 5 minutes that they might be socially inept possibly? WOMEN PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL US AND WE’LL RESPECT YOU MORE!!!!!

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:12:13 +0000

A girl, I think what Evan’s referring to is when people text INSTEAD of calling. I share Rikki’s frustration. If you’re in a committed relationship with someone for a couple of months and the ONLY way he wants to communicate is via text, it’s kind of a let down. How are people supposed to forge relationships and grow closer if they don’t even bother to make the effort?

If a guy calls me to check in, it tells me he’s truly intersted in how things are going in my life and makes me feel closer to him. It’s making time for each other and doesn’t have to be in the middle of the day. Txt messages don’t achieve the same goal.

If you don’t have time to speak to someone on the phone, then honestly you may not be ready to make the time for a relationship.

By: A girl

A girl — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:24:27 +0000

I don’t see the big deal about this. Some people don’t like talking on the phone (I’m one of them). Talking about inconsequential shit like “Oh, I TOTALLY hooked up with so-and-so last night.” on the phone not only consumes my time but make me really uncomfortable. Unless it’s business…everyone knows that texting me is the way to get a hold of me.

Oh, and as far as guys “disrespecting” girls because they text as opposed to picking up the phone…that is such B.S. I think when there is someone that I’m thinking about during the day and we’re both busy there’s nothing more sweet than “Hello! I hope you’re having a nice day!” It’s not intrusive, I don’t have to stop everything I’m doing to talk, and it shows the other person is thinking of you. I prefer it. I don’t think it’s a sign of laziness, just a sign of the times.

By: Greg

Greg — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 15:08:44 +0000

Have to disagree to a certain extent – texts have many useful facets. For example, I would feel uncomfortable calling a girl during the day because she might be busy, with friends, etc and would feel obliged to answer and not to hang up, but it might yet be a bad time (and vice versa her with me). Texts are great in this scenerio because you can read them at your own leisure and reply whenever you get a chance (not to mention you can keep a text conversation going while in the company of others too and not be the rude one who leaves the room for 15 mins because you want a bit of privacy in your phonecall).

Often times I get the “best of both worlds” by starting off with a couple of texts, and if the girl is replying pretty quickly and it is obvious that it is a good time for her then I often just ring and pick up the conversation from there.