…so, are you related to Alan Katz?

I wear a size 8 so I’m not overweight. But I’m not a size 4 either.

Who are these men that consider size 8 overweight? Are they anorexic?

I wear a size 8 so I’m not overweight. But I’m not a size 4 either.

I did change my body type from Average to Athletic because I saw that my short and overweight friend called herself Average. I saw that alot of the guys who are “athletic” are really average too. But switching to “athletic” didn’t really help much with the responses.

I guess I have to say I must not be as gorgeous as the competition online. I always rated myself a solid 7 when I’m in a dress, makeup and heels because I can turn a some heads when I’m out. Hell maybe even a 7.5 on a good night. But no way am I the sexy knockout that men are prioritizing. I’m the girl next door type. Which I’m ok with. Evan and the other posters have some great points. I still find the whole online dating experience not right for me….I thought the point was to use it to get to a date and then figure out if the chemistry/attraction was there. But I’m clearly lost in the shuffle on Match.

Fortunately, yes I am glad I come across better in person. So I’ll keep rocking it on my own.

Thanks for the advice!

Is it better to say all the things she wants tall, dark, handsome, interesting, self-aware… etc. or lay out the few deal-breakers? and, you know, being married and boozers are real deal-breakers!

I don’t like her “OK boys” or the “If I don’t or haven’t responded to your e-mail, it’s nothing personal” comments; they reek of a bit of an attitude.

But many people don’t know how to write a good profile because we’re afraid of coming off egotistical or we write what we think will attract others (and not who we really are) or … and this is the worst … we don’t really know ourselves all that well. All that said, the photos are the No. 1 draw, and if you’re not posting flattering (but accurate!) pics, you are lost in the sea.

Clean up is too strong a word, and that’s my fault for the wording. What my friend means is he actually gets a phone number, vs. going home with nothing at all. He might get just one number a night. That might mean just 3 or 4 numbers in a month of going out Friday nights. But his friends don’t get any. So he’s pretty happy with that. I’ve seen at least three of his girl friends since I’ve known him and they’ve all been beautiful girls on the 9 scale. He’s no better looking than his friends, and has an average income. However, they’re all still looking and getting frustrated and he’s pretty satisfied. So maybe it sounds like a lot of work and rejection to approach 10 to get one number, but he is not complaining. And 10 to 1 was his estimate – he doesn’t actually count and keep a list while he’s out there. So he may be off a bit. The bottom line is that he gets to date women he is interested in.

What you can do as a member of the other 95%? The same thing every marketer in the world does – test, test, test!

Take a new photo. Write a new blurb and headline. Try a new “angle.” You will be surprised how you can vary your profile and still be you. As a demonstration, back when I online-dated, I initially was underwhelmed with my response – until I finally hit on the right words and pictures – and how! (It peaked with an unsolicited response from an actual former model in LA, who also happened to be smart and funny and even paid for my hotel room when we met for the first time…I am not making this up.)

So if it’s not working, try something different – oh, and play in the “big ponds” like Match and Yahoo Personals where the sheer numbers work in your favor.

As with everything, it’s never about “just being you,” it’s about “being the BEST you.”

“Listen up boys, I am not intrested in having a sexual enconter, activity partner (I already have a personal trainer)or a one night stand, blah blah blah. It doesn’t impress me and I don’t care that you’re a millionare or the next top Calvin klein model or the next best thing since Bill Gates!!! If you are married, go talk to your wife. Not rude just straight forward, love it or leave it! If I don’t or haven’t responded to your e-mail, it’s nothing personal…Have a beautiful day and good luck! Oh, and if drinking is one of your hobbies, be sure to pass on e-mailing me!”

I wonder what Evan’s opinion is on this profile.

Some things will just not come through a picture or a block of text that shine through in person….even without alcohol or other things.

The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I agree, be happy that it all works for you in person. That is how it is supposed to be. Going out and meeting people in person is the real thing. It is having a life.

Online dating is a poor substitute.