Sorry, but that makes no sense whatsoever.
Unless, of course, you take some pleasure in getting used by hot men who have no capacity or desire for commitment. If so, fire away!
Essentially, you’re saying, if I’m GOING to get hurt, it might as well be by a 10.
Um, I guess you could take that philosophy.
I would sooner look at it like this:
Men who are 10’s on paper aren’t always 10’s in relationships.
You’ve established that men who are 10’s on paper aren’t always 10’s in relationships. In fact, many of them are 3s and 4s in terms of consistency, effort, and commitment.
Thus, you’ve deduced that it may be wiser to date a man who is a 6 or a 7 in looks/brilliance, but a 10 in other areas that matter more in the long run.
But men are still men – and just because he’s not Brad Pitt doesn’t mean that he’s PROMISING to fall in love with you, that he’s GUARANTEED to be ready for commitment, that he KNOWS that he wants to build a family at the same time you are.
In other words, 7’s are men, too. Men with reasonable doubts, fears and issues.
You can wall yourself off from all men for fear of getting hurt, but that would accomplish absolutely nothing.
If you go out with a guy for 3 months and he says he’s not ready for a serious relationship, what does that mean?
Does it mean that you were an awful girlfriend? No.
Does it mean that he’s a selfish bastard? No.
Does it mean that you should never date another man like this? No.
All it means is that you invested in a man, the investment didn’t pay off, and now it’s time to find another man who gives you a greater return on investment.
So stop with this silliness that all “lesser” men are obliged to worship you because they’re not Brad Pitt. This is dating. You could have done the same thing to him.
It’s not personal. It’s life.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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