Comments on: Why Do Men Cheat?

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:58:37 +0000

Joe #42, probably true. I was responding to someone who asked what would drive a woman to cheat.

By: Anisa

Anisa — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:51:42 +0000

@ downtowngal # 32

The most cheating occurs when the kids are little……

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:07:07 +0000

I’m amazed by the number of people I come across who are cheating. Everywhere I go and these are not otherwise scummy people.

I agree with Evan, cheating is a choice.

I think those who cheat are moral cowards. I came very close to having an affair with a married woman. My emotional needs had gone unmet for a long time. I wanted what I wanted, badly.

You know what? It was tough to do, but I ended the friendship. I just sucked it up, took responsibility and did it.

I’m not a master of self discipline. If I can do it, anyone can. I think people just rationalize not doing it because they have sense of entitlement to anything they want to have.

Having said that I think Evan and his wife are ahead of us by accepting the realities of relationships and doing what they can to manage those realities to give their relationship the best fighting chance they can.

By: Sometimes

Sometimes — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:40:29 +0000

And FYI – Much happier now. Someone who cheats is someone who really only thinks of themselves – not a good quality in a partner.

By: Sometimes

Sometimes — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:17:36 +0000

@ downtowngal
I truly believe that anyone can cheat – anyone; the right place, the right time, the right curcimstances, or rather the wrong place, time, and curcimstances. So I forgave and forgot after his1st affair. Only to have to repeat the painful, heartwrenching experience and the divorce years later.

If I knew the 1st time what I know now – I would have cut the ties then. I didn’t save myself (or my kids) anything.

By: starthrower68

starthrower68 — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 03:23:26 +0000

This is a timely post; I have a friend who was flirting with me big time, which I found very puzzling, so I asked him what was going on in his marriage. Turns out things have not been good at all. I told him to rent the move “Fireproof” and do “The Love Dare” on his wife. Could he cheat? Sure, but to what end? It will give him short term satisfaction without really getting to the root of the problem. I asked him if he loved his wife and told him that it was more of a decision than a feeling. He said he believes his wife knows he’s the type to stay with her for the sake of the kids and grandkids. I told him that maybe she needs to know he’ll do it for her sake. I’m hoping that healing is brought to that marriage.

By: Joe

Joe — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:46:35 +0000

A husband who is never home and/or ignores his wife’s emotional needs. and refuses to do anything about it
So…analogous to a wife who ignores her husband’s sexual needs?

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:14:19 +0000

Evan, rather than state why someone may or may not cheat, what would you advise someone to DO if they found out their other half was cheating?

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:05:51 +0000

michael #38, “how is female infidelity explained?”

A husband who is never home and/or ignores his wife’s emotional needs. and refuses to do anything about it

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:26:07 +0000

star68 #37, I can’t agree more. I’ve been called ‘picky’ when in fact I’ve learned not to put up with unsatisfactory situations, i.e. guys who are rude, condescending, demonstrate stalking behaviour, play games, send mixed messages, never follow up after a terrific date, too pushy then get defensive/angry after I push back, txt me at midnight instead of making a proper date…you get the idea.

The ones calling me ‘picky’ are my single friends who put up with this crap. My married friends call me smart.