Comments on: Why Does My Boyfriend Look at Other Women?

By: Anon

Anon — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 01:45:39 +0000

I must say Evan that it is clear by your marketing that you are putting the entire owness on women to please men. That is very sexist and old fashioned nobody wants to see this. I hope this message changes.

By: Anon

Anon — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 01:40:22 +0000

Evan your replies are actually quite sick making to a healthy attractive successful woman. I mean this in the nicest possible way as I hope you will take my feedback on board when you are coaching women.
Your job to coach women -should you continue in this field, comes with the responsibility of attaining some real wisdom, not simply to try and offer what you think is the median male perspective.
It is not wise to tell a woman that nude posters and objectification of women is okay. It is better to stand up be a strong make role model and “say okay you know what, women need to be treasured and that means that men need to check their behaviour before entering into long term commitments, and during relationships and marriages.” This means saying no to nude posters.
Case in point it is upsetting to any women who comes accross one as she knows it is wrong and hopes that behaviour will not be there in the first place so she does not have to have her romance spoiled and ‘mother’ and train her boyfriend into some proper behaviour.

By: Anon

Anon — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 01:33:48 +0000

It is totally off the mark for the first posted reply to say ‘this ones’ on you’ to Trixie who asked the original question.
That is lamely saying that Trixie needs to shoulder her boyfriends concerns and dismiss his behaviour. No it is not okay to objectify women and as soon as society gets a grip on that, the better for all relationships accross the globe.
Women are to be treasured in a relationship.

By: Sonia

Sonia — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:26:37 +0000

There’s something very simple that I think guys should consider, and it will help with many (though not all) their arguments with women over other nude women:

We know that you’re going to ogle other women, nude or not. We just wish you would look at us (your GF/SO/wife) with the same obvious appreciation.

Think about it. If your tongue’s hanging out of your mouth, and you keep touching your pants, and we have the misfortune of hearing you say to your friend on the phone, “There was this good-looking chick I saw the other day…” and meanwhile we’re standing there after having put on makeup, shaved, wearing that perfume we thought you like, plus exposing a little cleavage, and with all the immediate chores done… Why WOULDN’T you appreciate the effort that the real life woman in your life put in for you? Why would you make her feel second place? Why wouldn’t you instead look your wife up and down when she enters a room and then say, “Come here, you,” and show her just how hot you are for her?

‘What about the good-looking chick who’s standing right in front of you?’ most of us would think. And then later when you ask us why we’re sad, we say ‘Nothing’ because we’re told that if it bothers us that you ogle them instead of us, then we’re insecure. And that admitting insecurity is a turn-off, instead of seen as being honest.

It hurts a lot less that you’re visually fucking her (not to say it doesn’t still hurt, especially if you’re rubbing it in our faces), if you’ve already made your wife feel like she’s the hottest girl in the whole world. Try it sometime: we’ll feel a lot less like you “settled” for us, and more like you “won” us. That’s how more of us should feel.

…Along with a healthy dose of, “We chose to be won.”

By: PaperTowels

PaperTowels — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 13:35:43 +0000

You can drift his attention by doing something special. Put on something sexy that you normally don’t do. This will surprise him and completely throw him off of his feet. Capturing his attention is very important in a relationship. Keep his attention by showing him what hot and sexy is. If you do it enough constantly, he will eventually just only be attracted to you only.

http://www.angrypms.com

By: Sayanta

Sayanta — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:17:24 +0000

like I’ve said before- men like playmates/models, etc. etc. Women like rock stars.

By: Sayanta

Sayanta — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:11:59 +0000

But Evan- the sky is red. At sunset.

By: tya

tya — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:32:16 +0000

Just DONT WORRY ABOUT IT, EVERY HUMAN HAS DIFFERENT VIEWS, ITS NATURAL FOR A FEMALE NOT TO LIKE THAT BEHAVIOUR EVEN FOR A MALE. The poster is miner as long as he never thought anything unecessary of it. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BF FOR 7 YEARS AND HE KNOWS HE CANNOT EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. IF HE LOVES ME HE SHOULD VALUE ME! WE DONT HAVE TO HAVE SEX EVERYDAY BUT AS LONG AS IT HAPPENS WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. MEN DO ANNOYING THINGS HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LOOK AT WHEN WALKING THROUGH TOWN NOT EVEN REALISING THEIR MEN. JUST LET HIM KNOW THAT THAT BEHAVIOUR ISNT RIGHT OR FAIR. SPEAK TO HIMMM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

By: Selena

Selena — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:16:10 +0000

What I find unfathomable is Trixie has known this man for 18 years; he’s leaving a great job to move to be with her (in this economy); they are buying a house together and apparently trying to conceive and YET she can’t even bring herself to talk to him about a poster he had hanging, in his closet, as a single guy, she finds objectionable. WTF???

I think the lack of ability to communicate is far and away the more serious problem than a poster hanging out of site. I think Trixie better stay on birth control until she learns how talk to this man about things that bother her. And he’s better off keeping his job and staying put until she does.

By: amy

amy — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:59:39 +0000

Hi, Kenley,
I’d say that if you go home fantasizing about the hot bods in the gym, and then come back and watch them working out for more hot fantasy, and it doesn’t cross your mind to wonder who these people are, then yes, that’s a problem; you’re using them, objectifying them. Turning them into sex toys. And they aren’t sex toys; they’re people. On the whole men don’t like being objectified any better than women do — it’s total disrespect and humiliation.
On the whole, though, the guys in the gym aren’t dressing (or not dressing) for you. They’re doing it for themselves, and they’re dressed sensibly for their sport. Which is why I thought it was sad & prurient that people got all over Brandi Chastain when she ripped off her shirt after that big Olympic win. And men generally are not sexually vulnerable in the way that women are — although when they find that they’re in a vulnerable position, like when a straight guy finds he’s in a locker room full of gay guys on the hunt, I think you’ll find they get modest in a hurry.
No, not every man who looks at porn and girlie stuff is thinking disgusting things, but you know that some of them are. And that the woman who’s done the posing is inviting that very kind of thing, because that’s the purpose of those shots. To be used. For her body, or body parts, to be used as an object of fantasy.
You write:
“To suggest that a man’s fantasy can only be what his reality is seems oppressive to me.”
I’d suggest that imagination opens the door very wide. Try again. A lot of people are hot, hot, hot — because they themselves, not this chunk or that chunk of the flesh — are hot.
And:
“To me, what this all seems to boil down to is that women who aren’t turned on by naked bodies don’t want men to be turned on by naked bodies either. I don’t think that is fair or realistic.”
Or true. I just don’t want to be involved with a man who thinks it’s fine to separate body from person, and use that body for sexual pleasure.