The problem is that you’re seeing this as a slight to you. It’s no surprise. You’re human; of course you’re going to think about how it affects you. But the truth is, incorporating the new girlfriend into the family is a very delicate situation. My forty and fiftysomething clients have given me quite an education on how complex it can be.
Plenty of reasonable men shield their sons from new girlfriends – especially if the girlfriend is only 10 years older than the kids.
If that’s your biggest issue with him, I told my client, you truly have an amazing relationship. And it’s true, she does. Her man is an amazing communicator, a great dad, and an understanding boyfriend. He just doesn’t fully comprehend how keeping her from his family makes her feel insecure. But as she gets more comfortable in the relationship, she’s starting to understand two things: 1) it’s not just about what she wants, 2) if she’s patient and a good communicator, she WILL get what she wants. This is Dale Carnegie’s, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” in action. By being an amazing girlfriend, her boyfriend will soon realize that he WANTS to share her with his son.
Which brings me back to you, Meagan. Here’s the bad news:
I’m guessing you’re never going to meet the son.
I’m guessing that you’re the cute younger girl that he’s “seeing” right now.
I’m guessing that by the time you read this, your heart will already be broken.
Hey, I could be wrong. I just know that after 4 months, you should be talking in terms of “boyfriend/girlfriend” and if he’s hesitant to do so, it says a lot more about your relationship than the teenage sons thing.
Plenty of reasonable men shield their sons from new girlfriends – especially if the girlfriend is only 10 years older than the kids. Not too many men can date a woman for 4 months and not call her a girlfriend – unless, of course, they don’t intend on her being a girlfriend.
My recommendation is to prepare yourself for a new boyfriend, closer to your age, who is absolutely crazy about you.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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