Pages: 1 2
I really hope you can help me with this predicament. About a month and a half ago, I met this guy at a bar, the day after I had just ended a very short and confusing juvenile relationship. He seemed like a stand up guy and we flirted and talked a lot. I needed to take things slow because of where I was in life—just out of a relationship and just having graduated college. On our fourth date, the issue of race and religion came up. We are different religions and races, mine being more conservative on both accounts, but I told him I make decisions on the future of relationships based on each individual person. The issue of sex also came up, and I was straightforward, truthful, and tactful and told him that I made a personal choice to not have sex outside of marriage and that I was a virgin. He said that was great and he really respects that.
It was after this conversation that he seemed to change. He started calling me almost every day, and on our fifth date, he told me that I had “most of the qualities he looks for in a woman.” He wanted to define the relationship, which I was not ready for at this point. On our sixth date, he tells me and I quote “I don’t want to scare you away but…you sort of…complete me” Later, my friend, who had double-dated with us, tells me that he told her that he would consider converting for me if things “got that deep” but would want our children to know about his religious background. I hadn’t even agreed to be his girlfriend at this point. I like this guy but whoa!
I freaked out at this point, and withdrew a little. When I tried to talk to him about everything, he made light of the comments. Although, when I pressed him about the reasons why he liked me so much, he listed, in the following order: 1) that I was a virgin and that that was something hard to come across and that he respected that, 2) I was “cool people” to hang out with, 3) we got along well, 4) I was educated. What am I to make of this guy? I expected reason #4 to be higher on the list, and reason #1 to be lower.
What are your insights? Should I end this for good? Is he crazy? Am I crazy?
Virginity can function as a selling point. Witness Exhibit A who suddenly decided he was in love with you once he learned that you had a hymen.
A multilayered question from a booksmart girl. Where to begin?
Let’s start with the virginity thing.
Then again, virginity can function as a selling point. Witness Exhibit A who suddenly decided he was in love with you once he learned that you had a hymen.
Frankly, that’s a bit messed up, and I’d be concerned if I were you.
Now I’ll admit – I don’t fully understand the virgin until marriage thing.
I don’t understand why a man would prefer someone with no sexual experience whatsoever. It’s like trying to train an employee to type when you’re used to people who can type 75wpm.
And I also don’t understand it from the virgin’s perspective. Sex doesn’t have to be procreative. It doesn’t have to be with someone you love, although it’s nice. And sex is, by most accounts, a really fun pastime. Not only is it a great way to kill twenty minutes before you go to sleep, but it’s also an exhilarating bonding experience between two people….
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
Do You Want to Attract the Partner of Your Dreams?
If so, sign up for my free dating and relationship newsletter and receive my free eBook, The 5 Massive Mistakes You're Making In Your Love Life - And How to Turn Them Around Instantly. Simple and effective advice to jumpstart your love life.