Comments on: Why Doesn’t My Emotionally Unavailable Girlfriend Take Me Back After I Cheated On Her?

By: willem

willem — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:02:16 +0000

its true he did not take resposibillity. A person should end it if it doesn’t work. Bottom line. But I know how he felt.

By: Denise

Denise — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 18:34:26 +0000

This relationship did not sound happy at all, guess it’s not just women that are ‘blind’ (can’t believe he wanted to marry her after all that drama). Maybe SHE was ‘just not into him’.

By: searchingwithin

searchingwithin — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:18:03 +0000

Ms. Melissa, I agree with you, and was wondering, out of all these comments, when someone was going to wonder that. Nowhere in this guy's letter did he mention trying to communicate, his needs that weren't being met to his girlfriend. Nor did he state he attempted in anyway to join her in some of her interests. He found it all too simple to go Online and find him someone to use. And by communicate, I do not mean talk at someone, but to talk and be heard. To express your feelings rather than pointing a finger, which this guy is very good at, by the way. ~Best Wishes~ searchingwithin´s last blog post...Me2Everyone The Virtual World of Social Networking

By: Maria

Maria — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:23:34 +0000

Interesting letter, question posed and thread. Wanted to add in my two cents. As a woman, I can honestly tell men that it is completely possible to destroy a womans pure love for you. One major mistake, such as cheating, or being abusive and a woman may never be able to look at you the same again. EVER.

It’s over A, learn from your mistakes and chock it up to life experience.

P.S. I don’t believe you two were a good fit anyways, otherwise your needs would have been met, and you would have never drifted onto the online scene. BTW when you are already involved and drift onto the online scene claiming to be single..you give all men out there a bad name. Nothing good can ever come from starting out with a lie, as you found out.

By: Michael Ejercito

Michael Ejercito — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:50:58 +0000

if you have to ask such a question…

By: Selena

Selena — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:50:11 +0000

Sounds to me like a case of wanting the gf back because she now doesn’t want him. Somehow that makes her much more attractive than the boring, exercise-fiend, in bed asleep by 9 woman he lived with for a year.

To quote Supertramp, “Not much of a girlfriend, but she’s the only one I got”.

Can’t feel sorry for the guy given his actions (and notable lack of remorse), but I have to agree with Evan–her leaving him was doing them both a favor. Move on. This relationship wasn’t going anywhere good and marriage would certainly NOT make it any better.

By: downtowngal

downtowngal — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:57:52 +0000

Ms. Melissa, I agree w you 100% about communication. Unfortunately, in too many cases actions speak louder than words.

While I’m NOT justifying how this guy handled his relationship, I’ve found that sometimes talking it out doesn’t create results because people either don’t change or don’t want to change. Like when the guy you’re dating does something out of line (again) and you”ve already called him on it before. So this time you give him the silent treatment and all of a sudden he gets it and finally apologizes.

I doubt that this guy bothered to have a constructive chat w his gf. Or maybe he raised the topic but she got defensive and yelled at him; or maybe he was abrupt in how he brought it up.

I guess my point is, I can see how wires get crossed. I think it takes a great deal of maturity and confidence to have a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

By: Ms. Melissa

Ms. Melissa — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:29:18 +0000

I never will understand how all this confusion happens in a relationship. She refused to do this or that. Why not go to her and tell her how it feels to be refused and that you are needing attention. It seems no one really spells out to each other what their REAL problem is before falling into bed with someone else. Which by the way never fixes anything. Ms. Melissa´s last blog post...House of Mouse also the Knock Out Round

By: Lance

Lance — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:33:41 +0000

Wow, tough advice on this one from EMK, but I agree all the way around. Why be with someone who makes no time for you and gives you a low priority? Yuck. There's plenty of great women out there, this dude needs to go get himself another one. I do want to point out one thing. From my perspective, I understand why he would start looking for other chicks and even initiate an email relationship, or whatever it was. This is a natural reaction. His process of dealing with his current relationship was all wrong, though, and he needs to get that sorted out. My guess is A didn't have the stones to stand up to his girlfriend, which suggests a lack of confidence and security in himself. My prescription: He needs to be single for awhile and date around. Lance´s last blog post...Thought Leader Interview Series: Asian Rake

By: Kevin

Kevin — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:44:38 +0000

I think sometimes you can and should forgive a cheating spouse or partner. But in most cases it is unforgivable and to try to change someone’s mind is almost impossible.