Comments on: Why Don’t Men Like Smart, Strong, Successful Women?

By: Bryan

Bryan — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:11:57 +0000

oh forgot to mention.. i dont see many asian women with the same complaints as american women.. maybe thats why they are so popular with american men.

By: Bryan

Bryan — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:09:37 +0000

its exactly what the story said. but he didnt get into the details. successful women are often high maintenance.. and take more work.. but the returns are lower. and the guys that successful women like are looking for oral sex, not business partners. i have seen it all. self made and worked my way up to a hedge fund. that said, a successful high maintenance woman is better than an unaccomplished high maintenance woman.

By: Brett

Brett — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:12:22 +0000

sherrie your posts are some of the most ridiculous stuff I’ve ever read. You and the women that think there is some conspiracy against successful women are insane. It’s so ridiculous I don’t even know where to begin. If you can’t find a man and you’re a successful woman…it’s YOU not THEM. If you’re a successful woman and a man doesn’t want you because of that then trust me you don’t want the guy to begin with. I have the same attitude when a woman will not go out with me just because I don’t have some high paying white collar professional job.

By: sherrie

sherrie — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:48:12 +0000

oh Karl, while you might be right about intelligent women being as likely to be in abusive relationships, you are missing the point i was trying ( maybe not very successfully) to make. Have i been around married couples? Yes i have. Also, I been in a few long term relationships. Often, partially, resentment men have for their partners, is in fact, due to their perceived loss of control.
If you were a woman married to a man you would know that men like to argue over anything just to prove they know better (NOT ALL men obviously). Heck, take even guys at a bar..just the other day a man approached a woman architect and tried to argue over a subject in architecture that she clearly knows more about.
I believe there are actual websites dedicated to “men explaining things” phenomenon because it occurs so often.

And regarding the very last point, if a man doesn’t see me as an equal complex human being, deserving of the same consideration in every aspect, then yes I won’t be able to see him in the same light as well. I am tired of being told what I am supposed to be and should like and talk like and think about and dress like because of my femaleness. I think that’s only fair.

By: Karl R

Karl R — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:22:38 +0000

sherrie said: (#395) “ 'Average' and not too bright women will just do what men say without questioning them and will not have the ability to always make it in on their own." That's an amazingly condescending attitude. It's also wildly inaccurate. Most people of average intelligence (men and women) are fully capable of making it on their own. I could parade an endless string of "average" women who raise families as single mothers. Furthermore, average women are at least as likely to be obstinant and opinionated as highly intelligent women; perhaps more so. You believe that smart and successful women are harder to control? You might want to read up on abusive relationships. I went to a seminar at the University Texas Law School about domestic violence. The opening speaker was an intelligent, articulate and successful lawyer. She spoke candidly about the years she spent in an abusive marriage. She made every effort to impress upon the law students that many intelligent and professionally successful women end up in similar relationships. She implied they were even more susceptible, since they were more likely to feel ashamed that this was actually happening to them. "it’s not in the male nature to concede anything to women." Do you spend much time around married couples? "If man doesnt see me as his equal – he is inferior to me." Do you consider "average" women to be your equal? If not, does that mean you're inferior to them?

By: sherrie

sherrie — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 18:51:54 +0000

Two main reasons:

a) To feel masculine men need to feel superior in areas where men were always told they were. ie intelligence.
b) Control. Men want to be in control. Conceding to a woman makes him feel like he has no control over her and how things are going in the relationship.

I don’t think most men are really capable of admitting ( even to themselves) that they are not interested in intelligent women for several reasons, the main one being that it’s not in the male nature to concede anything to women.

“Average” and not too bright women will just do what men say without questioning them and will not have the ability to always make it in on their own. An intelligent woman is that much harder to control.

But that’s just sad. And a huge turn off for many women as well.

If man doesnt see me as his equal – he is inferior to me.

By: Brett

Brett — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:36:31 +0000

Ok I wasn’t getting updates on this thread by accident and I forgot all about it. Now that I’m back and read some more posts – wow some of you really went on some really long tangents and rants that have nothing to do with the actual subject. Not to mention I notice it was mostly women posting in this thread. Sorry amy your posts were just too long and went way off on some other planet not to mention I saw some whining, maybe a little man hating, and definitely some misconceptions about men. If you want a good man be a good woman. I can see why you are single, you think you have to do very little in relationship. Yes in a relationship there will probably be times where you need to do things for your man or lend him support. I truly recommend you study some psychology to learn more about men and people in general. You’re possibly better off just being a serial dater, since the men you just casually date will expect far less from you.
You ladies have been led to water, but refuse to drink it. Evans post @322 is totally correct. It has nothing to do with her specific succuss it has more to do with “her” in general. There is not some grand conspiracy against successful women, it’s ridiculous. Why would you go to an advice column regarding what men want if you’re not going to listen to what the men have to say? Some men are intimidated by successful women but that doesn’t mean they aren’t attracted to them, there’s a difference. I still see plenty of women say they will not give a man the time of day unless he makes at least as much money as her..so if she’s well off why would the average guy bother with you? Only women can change that by being more open minded. You don’t see successful men in GENERAL whining about not being able to find a woman – why do you think that is? Copy what successful men do, then you should have no problems in the dating game. I don’t see why it would work any other way.

By: sun

sun — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:17:43 +0000

Didn’t mean to state that others don’t have great posts. It’s just that I read the first few posts here and was not in agreement with any of them until I saw Naomi’s.

I went down further and saw a few more posts that were excellent also.

By: sun

sun — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:08:21 +0000

Naomi: Instead, why not propose that men should work on being okay with a woman who is his equal in terms of power, opinions, intelligence, and status, and, indeed, that we all should work towards bringing more gender equality to our personal relationships?

Your advice is spot on. Thanks for the moment of sanity on this blog.

By: Queen

Queen — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:07:06 +0000

Sayanta, I aslo agree with you if I want to always reassure the man, that is riduculous, If I want babies then I will get pregnant.