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Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love”, felt trapped.
She left her husband, sold a book, and took her book advance to find herself (and transcendent love) in Italy, India and Indonesia.
You know the rest.
Oprah, 3 years on New York Times Best Seller list, and a few years ago, a movie starring Julia Roberts.
So it should be no surprise that “Eat, Pray, Love” has been on my mind recently. Not just because all of my clients feel inspired by it, but because of its billboard campaign for the movie, which reads:
“You Don’t Need a Man. You Need a Champion.”
You hold out for your hero. We’ll hold out for our Supermodel/Top Chef/Rhodes Scholar. And all of us will end up alone.
That’s what you’re holding out for in a man.
So, for a moment, I’d like you to imagine a movie designed specifically for men.
Not an action movie, not a horror movie.
A movie about one man’s perfect love.
After years of being trapped in a sexless, emotionless marriage to a woman who didn’t want to have a baby, Alex leaves his wife to go find himself. Distraught, he decides to have an adventure.
He drives to Vegas.
He flies to Ibiza.
He journeys to Thailand.
Until finally, he discovers the woman who gives him everything he needs.
He writes a book: “Drink, Play, F@#%”.
Howard Stern and Maxim magazine promote the hell out of it, and Alex sells the movie rights. Soon, it’s in a theater near you.
You won’t see it, of course, but you can’t miss the ubiquitous billboards:
“You don’t need a woman. You need a pornstar who cooks.”
I said this to a private client the other day and she couldn’t suppress her cackle.
Because she knew it was true.
You hold out for your hero.
We’ll hold out for our Supermodel/Top Chef/Rhodes Scholar.
And all of us will end up alone because there’s nobody that fits the bill. The end!
Not a very happy ending, is it?
Yes, I’m teasing about the billboard, but although my example may be a bit hyperbolic, it’s not that far from the truth.
Men really DO want the Supermodel/Top Chef/Rhodes Scholar.
Women really DO want a hero and a champion.
And yet, in order to find happiness, we both must relax our fantasies a little bit.
Not because they don’t feel great. They do.
The reason to relax your fantasies is because they’re unrealistic, and they almost invariably lead to disappointment.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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