Comments on: Why Men Don’t Write to Curvy Women on the Internet http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/ Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:37:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Laurel http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-951258 Laurel Wed, 12 Jun 2013 21:41:29 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-951258 Bullshit!!!
When I was young and I was really thin for my height (6ft 2), guys hated me for my “lack of curvs” I’m only 22, I gained weight due to medication and haven’t been able to shake it off. If a guy likes you, then he will like you. End of. 
 
I am honest about my weight with people, but I always tell them why I gained the weight, but if I am honest, I don’t care the opinions of others. I might not be stick thin, but I can script, direct and animate films, better than some of the thinner students in my year. Which to me is a better quality. 
 

]]> By: vanessa http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-950888 vanessa Wed, 12 Jun 2013 15:53:34 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-950888 i self-describe as “Curvy,” as well, and it has not been an issue at all…i still get a lot of guys writing and complimenting my looks…i think it is really a myth that men prefer skinny. our culture happens to put more value on that at the moment (though historically, plump was worshipped as a sign of wealth and the ability to luxuriously indulge) but i think men are attracted to all kinds of bodies and i’d rather be honest. if someone is so shallow as to not give a Curvy gal a chance, it’s probably for the best…

]]> By: Beverly C http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-891356 Beverly C Thu, 16 May 2013 19:02:53 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-891356 I like Evan’s writings, but I have to disagree with this one overall.  “…there’s very little reward for having integrity.”  This is a comment that Evan made about telling the truth in online profiles.  How sad!  The reward for having integrity is being clear inside yourself, isn’t it?  Any situation that punishes integrity is a situation to avoid, in my book.  Also it’s mentioned that women naturally prefer tall, successful men.  The last man I was involved with was tall, successful, also narcissistic and manipulative.  So now I think it’s best to put those qualities kind of low on the list of important ones.  Which is why online dating is weird.  You’re trying to find a good match among people who are misrepresenting themselves, and gauging people on shallow attributes that have nothing to do with successful relating!  “Tall man = honest communicator.”  No correlation.  In that case a short, poor man might work out better!          

]]> By: Forty, Fat & Fab http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-807859 Forty, Fat & Fab Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:48:52 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-807859 I think Evan’s advice was best… not to describe your body at all.  The pics speak for themselves! PS – all you beeshes saying you have J-Lo butts, Pfft. Pics or it didn’t happen!
I too, have a hard time basing a future opinion of a guy on a photo and some stats.  I’m way more likely to respond to a funny, honest ‘essay’ type of ad done by a guy considering himself ‘average’ looking (or doesn’t describe his looks at all but does use photos), than an almost empty ad placed by a ‘hot’ guy (with what little wording in it being misspelled. Also, ‘hot’ is subjective).
BTW, I’m 5’5″ and just about as wide (kidding) and have never had a complaint in person.  Online?  I would never describe myself as ‘curvy’ because it’s an outright lie.  Honestly, I look like a Buick as a float in a parade if I try to wear a dress, and I wish all these plus-size websites would stop telling me I should!  Look.  I got a belly, okay? I don’t have great waist definition, and am small-chested. I get told all the time by men all over that I’m cute, sexy, gorgeous, etc., yet most have only seen my face or a shot of me from the chest, up.  Realistically, I could spend my life being miserable trying to lose all the weight (I have tried everything) or I can accept myself as I am—which is healthy (I like to walk, swim, etc.) and sorta pretty—enough to land a guy who I know will like me for me, since I’m far from being a model.
I realize attraction’s important, but I’m just one of those people who doesn’t place physical attributes as “top qualities” for potential suitors  (except one—I’m weak for dark eyes that sparkle/eyes that smile—they really turn me on).  I think finding someone to banter back and forth with who’s smart and funny, sweet, honest, shares some of my similar tastes and puts up with a spelling Nazi like me—all add up to make the person gorgeous, in my opinion—even if they might be kinda average on the outside, initially.  Not everyone in the world is a stunner, and even that is subjective to you and I.  I’ve met some people in person who I found to be extremely good looking, just not photogenic.  
For the folks who are listing off things they find unattractive in potential dates, I only wonder how many really good dates you might be missing out on with people who have huge, awesome personalities but happen to be cushy and have cankles or are too ‘skinny’!  Get over yourselves!  I mean, I don’t like how blond or ginger men look (if ever I’m forced to choose), but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t fall for and be swept off my feet by one, if he’s got all the right qualities that make me adore him.  So I keep my mind open. Then again, I might just be one in a million people that feels this way.  Meh.
I’ve been talking to a man who is super-into me just as I am (and yes, he has a spine and no, he’s not a doormat looking for just any attention).  He thinks my intellect is above anyone else’s whom he knows, that I’m sexy and have a cute baby face and tells me I look 32 even though I just turned 40 in April.  He dug out his guitar recently because our shared taste in music awakened and inspired him to play again and he’s eating healthy because he WANTS to, not because anyone told him he should. He says I challenge his mind, make him smile/feel happy.
In any case, I’m starting to think dating sites are an effing joke and a waste of time these days. I’m thinking of taking down all my ads anyway, since I really like this guy—he just happens to be long distance, so we’ll see where it takes us.  I prefer to get to know people’s personalities and interests via G+ and go from there. And +1000 to everything Nicole said (#132 & #151).
Later, I gotta go break through a brick wall (eh, I blame my Kool-Aid Man shape)!

]]> By: Danielle http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-749164 Danielle Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:22:35 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-749164  Okay, this makes sense. But what about profiles that actively omit physical disabilities? I was conversing with what I saw as a nice, polite guy and we moved the conversation to the phone. After several calls, we made plans to meet up.
When I saw him, he was walking, very slowly, with a cane. He’s had his leg amputated below the knee. While the meeting was pleasant enough, the fact that he hid this issue turned me off completely.
Evan, the man did not mention any physical issues on his profile, nor in phone conversation. His explanation: “But, that isn’t who I am.” My argument (which I did not broach at the meeting) is, it may not be who you are, but it impacts how your capability to handle and contribute in a relationship.
I’ve dated men in wheelchairs, so I have no issues with dating disabled men, to a certain degree. What I can’t get over, was the fact that I felt deceived by his omission – especially during the phone calls. I said as much to him in a message later. His response was the same “It isn’t who I am.”
Your thoughts?

]]> By: Rose http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-736444 Rose Wed, 13 Mar 2013 18:42:31 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-736444 Reason I feel unimpressed with online dating.
It focuses on external surface level factors like this.
When what I am interested in is the inner core values and someones ability to do and be in a deep connected relationship.
If someone isn’t contacting you because they think you are too fat, is that really someone you would want to be in a relationship with?
Blessing  in disguise that they haven’t contacted you and you haven’t had to waste any of your time with them.
Same in real life if someone isn’t approaching you  because they think you are ‘fat’ thank god for that, yes please stay away and don’t engage with me as I wouldn’t want to engage with someone who judged me on my weight.My weight is not who I am

]]> By: Rose http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-736417 Rose Wed, 13 Mar 2013 18:19:06 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-736417 Is this true?
I haven’t found this to be true.
Do men really find skinny women more attractive.
Give men a picture of Nigella lawson and Gillian mckeath and ask which they find more attractive?
Marilyn Manroe or Kate moss
Women are supposed to have sexy curves.
Anyway my body size is size sexy as my sexiness comes from inside me.
 
 

]]> By: Magdalena http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-699820 Magdalena Mon, 11 Feb 2013 09:16:57 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-699820 Nicci!
Just keep being honest so long as your photos are up to verify your size 10 body – which actually IS average at 5’3″ tall.  Just think, at your height, if you lost 10-15 lbs you’d be a size 6 which is considered “petite”  or “small”.
The reason for this is because us shorter gals (I am the same height as you) lose sizes faster than tall gals who lose weight.  For example, a woman who is a size 10 at 5’10″ would be considered slim.  But it would be harder for her to get into a size 8.  She would have to lose about 10-15 lbs for just one size smaller..whereas you can drop a couple sizes.  (only if you wanted to).  I am making the point that these men who are usually going bald, are bald, or are fat and bald; actually (and often) believe that they deserve Barbie.  It’s true!  The ego of a man is pathetic.  So, my advice is to hold to the truth about yourself and be patient for that one great guy who won’t mind you being “average sized”.  He’s out there…he’s just not the common man. 

Another thing I would do (but I am brazen) is I would write the profile with my size and photos and then add “and you gents who may be interested; please list your dick size and send me a full body photo naked.  Thank you in advance”!  :)  
But like I said – I am a brazen bitch.  But I am right.

]]> By: starthrower68 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-675095 starthrower68 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:05:13 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-675095 @ Researcher you are correct; however, the attitude in our culture toward anyone who doesn’t fit the ideal is like Nikki’s.

]]> By: Lisa K http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/comment-page-4/#comment-674800 Lisa K Sun, 27 Jan 2013 17:52:00 +0000 http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-men-dont-write-to-curvy-women-on-the-internet/#comment-674800 I read this blog w/some interest, although I don’t online date and don’t plan to for a reason put out in this post-”heavier people do better in real life than online.” Now, I’m not overweight, but the truth is that by narrowing my search criteria to the type of person I *think* I’m looking for-age, financial security, looks, whatever-I have automatically cut off 95% of the people who *don’t* meet that criteria and yet might make absolutely amazing partners, but would be received exactly as this letter writer receives them. She automatically excludes anyone in job transition or who doesn’t meet society’s criteria for “normal”. No wonder there are so many loveless women out there…

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