Comments on: Why Men Should Say No to Sex

By: Sandy

Sandy — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:47:13 +0000

The reality is a lot of men want to have sex with no condom and women too. The above responsible posters are really the minority in this world.

By: darryl

darryl — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:53:47 +0000

I tend to agree with the Zann and the other ladies. Sex is a natural thing that’s needed to build a healthy relationships. Do carry condoms with me all the time….absolutely not. If things go hot and heavy and looks like things will happen….no big deal I tell the girl flat out that I don’t have a condom and we need to turn down the heat in here and but when we schedule the next date….I remember to go to walgreens so I’ll be ready for the next time. It doesn’t make me a guy whose sex starved. I also agree to the that fact that sex should at least be monogomous. But how can that happen I keep rejecting the girl right in front me if not prepared this time.

By: RR

RR — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:14:20 +0000

My current guy turned me down for sex even though we met in a bar and I brought him home. He told me that he wanted to be able to call me. I’m not sure if this is because he has no respect for women with which he’s had one night stands, but it certainly melted my heart.

By: Donna

Donna — Fri, 13 May 2011 21:37:30 +0000

I’d like to take this one step further. I am a woman in my 50′s. Condom use is for disease protection, HIV, Hepatitis, Herpes, STD’s. Personally, I hate them.
Impotence was also brought up. Many men at this age (not all men) have difficulty keeping the condom on, because having one on decreases sensation and at this age there is already a decrease in the ability on “keeping it up”. PS, for many woman, it also takes longer to reach peak pleasure. Oh Bother!
SO, what are your suggestions? How does a woman approach the subject when you are both ready to take it to the next level, of keeping it safe? The optionI see is blood tests before sex! (because the condom is no longer protection when it falls off mid sex!) How is that discussed without causing a man to look like a deer in the headlights?
PS: I bought my two sons condoms when they were 13 years old; put them in the medicine chest. However, we also discussed respecting and loving themselves, as well as the girl they may be with. My thoughts, better safe than sorry.
Have one with you. I know I’ve been in a situation that lust and passion would not wait -care to the wind!. If there was no condom, there would have been sex without it. I’m glad I had some in my drawer.

By: Kay

Kay — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 16:53:25 +0000

Good Damn answer Collette!

By: Colette

Colette — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:23:16 +0000

I think part of the issue is that there are some people who are just a lot more comfortable with casual sex than others. There’s no point in pretending you’re something that you’re not. A guy should have an opinion about whether he is okay with casual sex, and he should take full responsibility (as should every girl – no one’s off the hook) for making sure sex is safe no matter when it happens. But if he doesn’t like the idea of sleeping with every single girl he takes out for a drink, he probably has the maturity and restraint to enjoy her presence without taking his pants off for one night. And that maturity is evident in the way a guy carries himself in general – and it does make him more attractive.
But if a guy, or a girl for that matter, decides that in general it’s okay to have sex on a first date, he should own up to it, be honest with himself, and bring the darn condom. I would think that kind of guy ESPECIALLY should be watching out for his health.
Wanting to avoid appearing too eager in my view shows that the guy isn’t ready to be honest with himself or others about just how casually he treats sex. Not all guys are promiscuous, but many are, and more of them should just own up to it. Is sex on a first date ever really an “accident”? Come on. If you’re that eager to have sex you probably knew it before you left your house. If a girl thinks you are too slutty because you want the option of having sex on a first date while she doesn’t even buy her own condoms, maybe the two of you don’t share the same values and you shouldn’t be having sex with her anyway. She’s probably the kind of girl who is going to be pretty hurt when you don’t call her the next day. And that’s the underlying scary issue here: if you want casual sex, please please please don’t pretend something extraordinary is happening with a girl who’s going to be crushed when she finds out that it was meaningless. That’s just plain irresponsible and unkind. There are lots of other girls who ARE interested in casual sex and won’t stalk you or swear off men for life after a one night stand.
Personally… I’d opt for not having sex on day one, and I’d have serious questions in the long run about a guy who fundamentally disagreed. So I agree with Evan’s answer except for the fact that this is not about having more power, it’s about respecting yourself and your health, and making sure that the girl’s level of respect for you and for herself equals your own.
All that said, any single person should keep spare condoms at home, and if you’re okay with having sex somewhere other than at home on a first date, god help you to know that you’re the kind of person who should keep condoms strapped to your chest at all times.

By: pericles

pericles — Fri, 30 May 2008 20:25:12 +0000

Not having sex the first few times you go out is a very good idea, but shouldn’t we all be doing that anyway? I mean, what’s the value in meeting someone, who you barely know, and getting that intimate that fast? I have never really believed in “dating” per se; I tend to screen pretty heavily before I’d ever even go out with someone. And I do not see a lot of people. Maybe one a year. I’m pretty picky, but not irrationally so. I do not believe in casual anything, though, including sex or dating. I am also not looking to get married, either. I am looking for commitment, and that means most of the guys I get involved with are pretty damned serious to begin with, otherwise I don’t get involved. My mother (ironically!) always used to criticise this about me, that I always had “relationships” and never “dated”, like dating is a lot of fun. I would have to say that I used conversations in lieu of what others probably use dating for. I can find out a lot about someone long before investing time, money or strong emotions in them. And sex…. sex is for when you know, because you’ve spent enough time talking, how you feel about one another, and whether you have a hope in hell of making it as a couple. Otherwise, sex is of no interest to me. There’s got to be a lot going on between me and the other person before I’d even consider sex. It’s not worth it–too much gets lost when you give your body to someone indiscriminately, without forethought, let alone foreplay.

By: sjg

sjg — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:21:50 +0000

I think this is a great answer – especially if you mean it. Even saying, “I don’t have sex with any one without discussing our relationship first so there’s no confusion,” would be good. Both avoid drama, confusion, and needless heartache. It never killed anybody to wait – contrary to popular belief.

By: Kay

Kay — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:06:27 +0000

First of all, it’s good to say that a man should say no to sex on a first date. Me and this guy once crushed on each other, and the idiot called and asked when was I going to let him have sex with me, and stated “he had a box of condoms in his truck”…are you serious??? That was the biggest turn-off for me. Number one, who said that I was going to agree to have sex with you? number two, somebody coming off strong to me like that indicates to me that you are a horny idiot who does not care about somebodys morals first. Everything about that was off-key. To me, if somebody had condoms ready, the first thing I’m going to think is, how many skeet skeets has this idiot been sleeping with? Then again, I can see how some people just want to be prepared just in case. Wow…I don’t know where the generation turned, but nobody is wanting to get to know anyone anymore before sex. Guess the epidemic of unwanted pregnancies, STDS and AIDS is not a big dea, eh? But I like the topic of this nontheless. It’s attractive when a man shows he has morals and values and shows that he is sincere without wanting to take advantage of a woman first….but, there aren’t too many out here like that.

By: jimmy

jimmy — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:53:34 +0000

i hate condoms and so do most women. i’m not convinced for the necessity of them except for avoiding babies.