Comments on: Why Would a Person Choose Religion Over Me?

By: Dean

Dean — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 02:13:45 +0000

#19 ty for ruining this blog with your obnoxious rant

By: mia

mia — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 02:37:10 +0000

totally agree is #4, my ex husband, pulled me out of the church. I am African American and my gifts are singing which I love to do and dancing and my pastor has asked me to start a Liturgical dance ministry in my church. I am used to church being a large part of my social life, my friends and what I enjoy. I recently met a man who has said he will not go to church even if I was singing or dancing because I would be doing it every sunday (probly true), but also because of golf, football, etc. Needless to say since one of my dreams in a man to have someone who unlike my ex, enjoys church activities and worship and who will also be a spiritual leader of my household, his declarations are clearly a deal breaker. We will always be friends, but he is off my list of serious suitors. Quiet as its kept, church is fun and I am not about being with someone who is so closed that they wouldn’t even consider sharing something with me that is enjoyable.

By: Katharine

Katharine — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:21:47 +0000

Comment number 14 .. lol.
To the die-hard Religious Folk..
If I loved someone with my heart and soul I would never dream of choosing my Spirituality over them. Why must we chose? Surely compromise is the key. I believe that sometimes people who are quite strong in their religious beliefs get so caught up in following their Bible that they forget that “unbelievers” are people too. EQUAL people. I am so damn tired of being talked down to by Catholics/Christians/Whatevers. I understand your faith is important and that is wonderful, but looking down on someone for walking a different, yet equally good path is unfair. I am slowly falling in love with a Catholic friend and I really don’t like organized religion, but his faith makes him the sweet man that he is, so I wouldn’t change him. He is very Catholic, yet he, like any logical person, does question things, even aspects of his religion. That does not make him inferior to someone who follows blindly. If following your religion blindly makes you feel whole and happy then that is absolutely wonderful for you, but don’t dare judge someone else for believing in a way that feels right for them. It’s amazing that a die-hard can perceive themselves as a saint because they are friends with “unbelievers” -how bloody patronizing. We are all different. Grow up and accept that.

By: Goldie

Goldie — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:27:29 +0000

I’ve been on all sides of this issue. Born and raised Atheist, converted to Christianity in college, went through several different denominations over twenty years, finally left church last year after a lot of deliberation and research. My guess is, the guy is not lying. It is very much possible for religion to occupy a huge place in a person’s life, determine their lifestyle, and take top priority. If that happens to your partner, and you’re non-religious yourself, I’d say you’re better off separating, as your lifestyles are so different at this point, there’s no way for you to work things out as a couple. Personally, right now, when I look online, I look for non-religious – just because I don’t want to push the religious folks into violating their principles for me – I know it isn’t going to work anyway. I did receive a letter from a guy once whose profile said he was looking for a godly woman, and I replied to him that, while he seemed a nice person, it would not work between us, because I am not a godly woman at all, not by a long shot!

To the OLW, if he’s as devout a Catholic as he says he is, odds are he doesn’t believe in birth control anymore. Unless you planned on eleven kids, consider yourself lucky that he left.

As far as the part of the article about things that don’t matter if we don’t make them matter – I’m torn on this. I’m pretty ambivalent about a lot of things in life, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere – it’s called having a personality – it’s one of the things that attract men to you in the first place. And some things are just not feasible to give up on – like if I have kids, and the man doesn’t like children, then oh well, it’s not meant to be. Even dogs. I have a dog, and that dog is not going anywhere. If I meet a man who cannot stand dogs, what am I going to do, give my dog away to make him happy? Eh, no, that’s just not done. In that regard, I liked a comment I saw yesterday about “must-haves” vs. “nice-to-haves”. Nothing wrong with having a “must-have” list IMO, as long as we keep it brief and to the point.

By: Megan

Megan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:45:53 +0000

I sort of agree with Evan on this but not entirely. I am agnostic. I wasn’t really raised religious and don’t have any religious feelings for the most part. However I seem to attract Jewish guys and my most significant relationships have been with Jewish men. My last and probably most significant was such a wonderful experience, partially because he is Jewish. Though I don’t have the same faith he has I was genuinely interested in learning about it, not just for the sake of knowing more about him but also because I genuinely cared about who he was and that was a big part of what made him the kind and loving person he has become. Of course we discussed the issue of religion and when we talked about marriage it was sort of a given that it would be a mostly Jewish ceremony though he in no way expected me to convert. So in this case our differences brought us together instead of driving us apart. I think thats part of a good relationship, embracing each other’s differences and learning about them without wanting to change each other.
On the other hand we broke up so what do i know!? I have a hunch that a large part of our very sudden breakup had to with his mother not wanting him to be with a woman who isn’t Jewish. I don’t know for a fact that this is why but there are indicators and well so be it. Not much I can do about that now, however my point is that his being Jewish is part of what I LOVED about him and I appreciated that he appreciated my wanting to know about his faith even if I didn’t agree or want to convert. So I think differences can be just as much an asset to a relationship as they can be a hindrance. Best of luck.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 10:40:58 +0000

Kudos to number 4 too! That’s what I wanted to imply. I had hard time trying to express my point but JaguarRose did express it accurately. Hehe, though my boyfriend is an Aglican. he believes on God but he doesn’t believe much on the Bible coz for him, it’s more of stories. Well, I use to emphasize, it’s more than stories. It’s about God opening the way for mankind. Well, the Old Testament are more of stories but REAL! If the Bible isn’t true, then why it is arrurately put into one place, the whole things in the Bible are consistent.

And oh well, coz we have different beliefs, and for him I am religious at times, we rather not discuss it coz i know it’ll just lead to disagreement. But even so, I try to let him see that I walk the walk and not just talk.

By: WannaGetMatzoBalled

WannaGetMatzoBalled — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:06:32 +0000

You’re right about the yoking up part. Which is why I yoke up exclusively with cute, funny, smart Jewish guys.

A nonbeliever just wouldn’t suit me.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:08:29 +0000

I’m just wondering if this devout Catholic was a virgin? Or did he pick and choose the parts he believed in? He talked the talk, but did he walk the walk?

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:21:37 +0000

Also, there’s a great difference on someone being religious and someone who’s spiritual. Anyone can be religious as he believes on his faith, he believes on God. But a religious person may not be a spiritual person. A spiritual person is one who exercise his faith–that means— living what he has believed. Your boyfriend is spiritual, though. Coz he really acted according to his faith.

It doesn’t mean that your boyfriend must donate the whole money on the poor as he wants to help. That is great, really great! But it doesn’t mean that HE SHOULD LEAVE HIS RESPONSIBILITIES & PRIORITIES HE WOULD HAVE AS A HUSBAND OR AS A FATHER TO HIS CHILDREN. Of course, he has to pay the mortgage, spare some for the kid’s college fund. And if he has extra money, then that’s the time he should donate. NOT ALL OF HIS MONEY. Coz how would you eat, how would u live if you dont have your primary needs, right?

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:13:25 +0000

Evan is right. But, there really comes a time when you need to give up something when you choose to live spiritually. because it can hinder your relationship to God. In our love seminar, I asked the question: Is it alright to have a non-Christian (spiritual) partner? The only main thing the Pastor and his wife gave is based on the Bible. “Do not equally yoke with an unbeliever.”

We might disagree on that. But it is what it is. The main thing there is you just have to make sure you won’t be one with the world or you won’t be astrayed if you choose someone unspiritual. I know not everyone will understand my point and i do not mean to tackle more about this as many might war me on this.

When one becomes a spiritual Christian (catholic, Pentecostal, Evangelistic, Seventh-Day adventist,etc), he reads the Bible, attends church regularly, be active in Church, and living the life God leads him, it is where he learns the value of sacrificing life to God. So it’s like, “God or that special someone?” It is also, “Love means obedience of the heart.” As simply as that, I think.