In a practical sense, women can tell f the chemistry is in the right range by the scent and the taste of the guy when he kisses. If he’s in the right range, you will like the taste of his kisses. If you don’t like the taste, then it’s not going to grow and develop over time.

Guys chemistry is more related to visual elements that correlate with health and fertility. Ie how many kids can she have. Woman’s chemistry based on how immunologically strong the offspring will be. If there is enough difference (but not too much) in the DNA profile, the offspring has the strongest immune system.

So what you have in essence is a two-track system that selects for the most and strongest offspring. Elegant if you ask me.

I agree with a lot of the advice you give and I agree that women shouldn’t pass up a good guy just because they weren’t hit with a lightning bolt of lust at first, but I also think if a woman feels like she is kissing her brother the woman should take that as a sign and move on.

It IS a powerful feeling, and can easily take you over, but it is temporary, and unless an intimate bond, and commitment is formed, based on additional criteria, the “chemistry” can’t hold you together through all those trials and tribulations that life has a way of throwing at you.

Another point is, many people believe that if aren’t experiencing that chemical reaction that they aren’t “in love”. So when your bodies chemistry levels back down to normal, they declare, “I love you, but I’m not “in love” with you”, and then go off in hunt of those “greener pastures”. They become addicted to that “chemical high”.

searchingwithin´s last blog post…How Will We Love?

“EMK is interchanging chemistry and lust. Chemistry for me is another way of saying compatible.”

That’s how I feel as well. Lust and chemistry are not the same thing. More like components of each other.

I think there is no rhyme or reason for what makes couples stay together – there are so many different scenarios. If we all knew the “secret recipe” I’m sure we’d all be in loving, healthy relationships right now.

Evan really does have a knack for finding topics that we can all relate to so well. At the very least, we all know that all of us are dealing with the same issues, perhaps in different ways.

EMK is interchanging chemistry and lust. Chemistry for me is another way of saying compatible. The article is talking about instant attraction, long lasting love, and even a bit of DESTINY, which is what really kills yearning single people. A lot of people, including Louise Rafkin I suspect, feel like if they don’t meet someone where it seems like they’re DESTINED to be together, then it’s not going to work. That’s folly. Destiny is what you see in movies and it’s incredibly rare. Only a writer of a relationship column would bump into those destined couples.

My take on attraction is attraction is very much a skill, and it’s your attitude, and the way you carry yourself when you first meet someone. If you don’t have those skills, and 99% of people don’t, attraction falls back on other stuff: looks, social status, etc, neither of which (usually) generates flaming lust or great relationships. So if you don’t feel that spark, it’s usually because you or your date or both don’t know how to generate attraction in the other person.

One last thought, I think people still feel a bit of shame for meeting their partner online, because it seems too easy, or too not like Destiny. We can’t all meet our life partners through a French pen-pal organization.

Lance´s last blog post…Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

And i have also noticed how calm and relaxed those same people looked when they were out of those relationships. The most happy couple i have seen were almost like best friends. And the same was the case with me. The most fulfilling relationship i have was with a guy who was initially a really good friend.. and that’s how we still see each other.