Why You Shouldn’t Have Sex With Your Friends – Or Should You?
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Maybe they’ve talked about it before.
Maybe they just got drunk and kissed.
Maybe she’s ready for the real thing.
Maybe he’s not.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Sex with a friend is a minefield of maybes, and a good majority of the time, you don’t make it to the other side without losing a limb. That’s why, in my humble opinion, sex with a stranger beats sex with a friend. There’s no baggage. No white elephant in the room. It’s far easier to let it all hang out if you know you may very well not see your sex partner again. With your friend, you have no choice. It’s your friend.
You know how much the friendship’s worth to you, and what you stand to lose by letting sex get involved. Personally, I think it’s a gamble that can pay the hugest possible dividends. Just remember that in the end, most gamblers lose.
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5 Comments »Filed Under Sex & Relationship Advice
Mark 1
Great example, I did at one time live in Sheboygan, I never knew people outside of Wisconsin knew about the place. I do very much agree that without a good foundation, one cannot build a good future. Sex, Puppy Love, and the other attractants that draw to people together do fade, and it is ones ability to spend “down” time together successfully that can make or break relationships in my honest opinion. Evan, I think most of your readers know things like this, but like me Skim over these obvious lessons, and it takes someone like you to remind us of them and how to apply them to our decision making.
Michelle 2
I must say that I have a friend whom is very close to me; we have always hung out and had a great time just enjoying our friendship. Now, we do have sex when we feel like it. We both know that there is no attachment; we both know we aren’t the other’s only partner; we also sometimes bring our “buddies” to join. Sometimes we talk and cuddle afterwards; but it is just as likely that one of us tells the other to be quiet, give them room to sprawl out, and let that person enjoy happy time after an orgasm (though usually the latter causes a bit of laughter). We also can kick the other out of our house if we so desire and our feelings arent hurt. I think you just need to have COMPLETE honesty and KNOW that you would never be able to date the other person. These two things are VERY hard to find in one person, perhaps it was just a stroke of luck, perhaps it is that we are both bi and know that neither one of us could be tied down with one gender; maybe, it was his experience at handling this type of situation. It might also be that we are still relatively young and in college; I am 22 and he is 29. It might also be that neither one of us has any desire to settle down. All I do know that for him and me, it works. I just want to say that it does happen.
Michelle 3
I thought that I should also mention that it has been working for over a year… Some classmates had happened to hear a conversation that him and I were having and remarked that our friendship would turn sour in a week if we would actually have sex. To which of course we had both laughed. It also doesnt bother me if he doesnt want to hang out or breaks plans with me because he is with someone else; even another female. I get it; I have been there. Sometimes, you just want someone different; people are very different in the way they generally like to have sex and sometimes you just want a change. I was just reminded of those points and had wanted to clarify.
Morgan 4
My name is Morgan. And I sometimes have sex with my best guy friend, who’s been my best friend for over a year. Nothing’s awkward. & we both know there’s nothing more behind it. It’s just friendly-sex. Period. And neither of us have feelings for the other one, so it’s pretty easy.
Goldie 5
As a woman, for safety reasons, I’d take sex with a friend over sex with a stranger anytime. As a sole provider, I owe it to my family that, when I get intimate with someone, it’s with a safe enough person that I won’t turn up in a garbage container the morning after. I know, gross exaggeration, but you get the general idea. Works so far. Hasn’t ruined any friendships as yet.