Comments on: I’m Resenting My Boyfriend For Not Pulling His Weight Financially

By: Dawn

Dawn — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 01:37:07 +0000

SS ..I don’t know why I’m in it. I really don’t. We do live in the same house and part of me is afraid of what it might feel like when it’s finished. too many people in here and I’m afraid of the outcome. I don’t know. This guy works…has a good job…makes triple what I make and the not offering to contribute for the food he eats is really getting to me. We each pay our own rent, I pay all my bills I’m not asking for that. I just want him to know that he needs to pay for his part…which in this case would be the damn groceries at least…and gas once in awhile woiuld be nice. golddigger is definately the opposite of me…always has been. i just don’t want to be taken for granted. There’s too many whores out there he could occupy his time with. But….I thought he was looking for something special…at least that’s what he told me when we met. I don’t know…I’m confused and hurt and torn i really feel trapped.

By: Saint Stephen

Saint Stephen — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 16:44:45 +0000

@Nazzie
Next time try reading the letter before making comment.
A guy who went back to school to finish his degree and also works is a looser to you huh?
Women like you are the reason why men see women as Gold diggers.

By: Nazzie

Nazzie — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 14:03:41 +0000

Look folks…. It’s true that relationships are not about whom makes what money. But if the SO is sitting home, smoking pot, playing xbox and drinking beer, you have a disaster on your hands.

Long story short: the guy is a complete loser. Honestly, no car, no job, no interest in bettering his life? He may “love you” but that is simply an excuse for irresponsibility. Yes, it DOES matter that the other partner contribute. Anything less is a parasitic relationship. He will use you unless interventions are taken.

My advice: RUN. The guy is a loser and will take you down with him. Learn the lesson here. You deserve and most certainly get better. What you see is what you will get. Do you really want to live like that??? MOVE ON!

By: SS

SS — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:51:31 +0000

So Dawn, why are you in this relationship again?

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:19:40 +0000

I too have a boyfriend that doesn’t pay for anything. I buy ALL the groceries that HE”S eating. He never has offered any help. I feel like only thing he wants from me is in the bed. When we first started seeing each other 6 months ago he spoke of wanting romance and love and someone special in his likfe. Well….there is no romance it’s just hard cold sex. and it’s everyday 2 to 5 times a day! This is too much for me. I feel like I get nothing in return. His affection is for the bed I don’t get it anywhere else. He’s never taken me out or even asked. I started develping feelings for him and now I’m rethinking. I just feel dirty. Oh, did I mention he’s 30 and I”m 46? I know maybe that’s it in a nutshell.

By: Sasha

Sasha — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:49:14 +0000

My boyfriend is also studying and I am older than him by at least a decade. I work and earn good money not amazing but enough to be able to spend what i want when I want to. I have bought a new place and are considering asking my boyfriend to move in with me. My biggest issue is the financial responsibility that i will have to shoulder as he does not have an income. Although going back to Evan’s original point I have not considered the advantages. He is a kind , caring man that adores me and is very domesticated. Also I have just gone through a divorce and my ex husband earnt great money but was selfish, nasty and absuive. Given the choice of a higher earning mate that is a jerk or a mate that supports me, nurtures me and makes me unbelievably happy well i choose the latter every time. I have friends who are in their 30′s never been married and want it all. They want the good looking, rich guy that will support them and adore them and make time for them and sadly this is why they are still single. Life is a compromise and sometimes you have to give a little to reap the rewards.

By: Leila

Leila — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:14:02 +0000

Its not only women who complain about pulling most of the weight financially. My boyfriend is resentful of my position as I’ve gone back to university ot re-train as a lawyer and he does not like the fact that we are not on equal salaries as this affects many other things.

Also, during this same times I am suffering from a long term illness which means although in my first year of the degree I was working full time and running a business I have now just succumbed to studying full time only out of neccesity.

He does not pay my bills or anything and we live apart but I have borrowed money off him ariund 3 times when and owe him about 600 punds currently. Up until this point I was working hard so financially was ok and paid my way equally i.e. when we went on holidays etc

He earns around 5 times what my student loans and grants combined but I think he wants someone who he can rely on.

The bigger picture is that I will hopefully be a successful lawyer one day but I’m not sure if he’s prepared to wait. I don’t have a car either which drives him mad but i do live in the centre of the city and walk everywhere.

So clearly there is no point throwing around general throwaway comments about gender…

Secondly, I would ask why does it matter what your partner earns? If you want something go and get it for yourself. Seeking stability or material wealth through others i a doomed philosophy. Yes you want to build a future together and that takes a certain level of income, har work, patience and respect but money? That just is not majorly important expecially if at least one of you is earning a good amount.

By: Leila

Leila — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:59:28 +0000

He earns around 5 times what my student loans and grants combined but I think he wants someone who he can rely on.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 21:49:04 +0000

I think I also have a big problem with it because you want to claim that it’s in your DNA to want the man to provide for you, but a lot of the same people would be mad if the same man expected you to take orders, follow his lead, let him make major decisions, have a baby every year for him, and want his home cleaned with a hot meal waiting for him at the end of the day.
I just call foul if you want to blame biology on why you want what you want, but get mad when a man follows biology (which I think would also include having more than one mate, and getting a lot more sex than a lot of women probably are willing to have).
And let’s not even start on all of the whining about why women have to do all of the changing, and the virtual riot that would erupt if the answer was “b/c they are wired differently and biology doesn’t let them change.”

By: Karl R

Karl R — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 17:48:33 +0000

Denise said: (#24) "Like it or not, women are nuturers, men are hunters and gathers." Your theory seems to be contradicted by actual research. In hunter-gatherer societies, hunting is primarily done by men, gathering by women and children (exceptions exist). Furthermore, 80% of the food is obtained from gathering. In older hunter-gatherer societies, both sexes hunted and gathered. And if you want to take it back to the "reptilian brain," please show me a female reptile that doesn't hunt/forage for itself. Therefore, this belief that the man should be the provider is a far more recent social construct.