I’d like you to approach online dating flirtation in an entirely new way:
Online flirting should mean striking the same exact tones as real-life flirting.
And if you’re saying to yourself, “You’re wrong, Evan. It’s much more difficult over the computer,” I’m going to have to disagree. It couldn’t be easier.
In Finding the One Online, I hold your hand through the entire online dating process, from choosing a website, to writing a profile, to getting you photos, to writing witty and winning first emails.
Imagine I’m standing next to you at the bank. That limits my conversational options. All I know is that I’d better come up with something witty to say:
- “Are you making a deposit or are you here to rob the place?”
- “These lines are always so long. Doesn’t anybody have a day job in this town?”
- “I don’t know why I cash these $2.46 checks, but if the phone company sends them to me, I guess I have no choice.”
In all of them, I’m being silly. In all of them, I’m not asking you for a date. In all of them, I’m not pushing for deep information. I’m just making light conversation over NOTHING. That’s flirting. Real conversation comes later.
Successful online flirtation is about being the most fun out of any other woman he’s emailing.
To be a good flirt, it helps to be fast on your feet, but most people can get by just fine. Flirting means exercising your personality in real time, not putting any pressure on the person for a date, and believing that the person will be receptive to conversation.
Now let’s take this to the online realm with two questions.
Q: Where do you have more information about someone – the bank or Match.com?
Q: Where do you have more time to construct a witty response – the bank or Match.com?
The defense rests, your honor.
When you’re sifting through people’s profiles and have all the time in the world to come up with something to say, there’s really no excuse for not keeping things light.
Because keeping things light is what allows us to let down our guard and connect.
It’s not about trying to carefully prod to find out if he’s a player or whether he’s hung up on his girlfriend. Successful online flirtation is about being the most fun out of any other woman he’s emailing.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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