When I first liked a boy, he pretty much rejected me… and it kept happening. Sooner I was the one to help my friends to get guys… I was the one they always saw as a friend and nothing more. I was the one who was heard “Your friend is beautiful. Could you introduce us?”

When I finally kissed a guy, he did so because he was gay and wanted to hide it. Another one told me that he would not date me because I was a virgin. Believe me… it was not out of some respect for me! Imagine how much hurt to know that I was not good even for sex? And finally the last one used me to made an ex jealous so she would go back to him, which she did. Can you believed that he wanted to get married with me? I still feel bad when I think that if I had accepted his proposal, he would have dumped one week later! I’d be the laugh of my street for a while! Again the love I had to give was throwed away.

I end up involved with this last guy again after I tried to kill myself. My mother did something that made think life was not worth anymore…. besides I was really tired of dealing with her… Anyway, I went for the lover thing, well it was better then have nothing at all… besides I lost my virginity. We stayed together for 5 years, and then he dumped me without even say good-bye. He just took off, disappeared. You know the irony about it: he was a really nice guy, he was supportive, and a lot more… exactly the guy I wanted for me… and exactly the one I could not have. When he changed was horrible. It was as if he was abducted by some alien and someone different came back. Summary: I’ve never found a single (as one and also as without a girl attached to him) guy interested in me.

I’m ugly… yeah… I. am. ugly. I’m being very realistic about it. I like myself a lot, and I have good qualities, being smart and funny my favorite, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see in the mirror!

Besides it, many of my male friends told me. This is one of the good things about having male friends. When I was 18 and could not have a date, a boyfriend or even a kiss, I asked my girl friends why, what they thought, but they never told nothing… except the “you will find someone. Everything happens in the right time”… maybe because they did not wanted to hurt me. It was the male friends who told me that part of it was because I was ugly, even I had back there a really nice body. So, I started to learn to enjoy being the friend… the cupid for other couples.

Eight years ago, when my lover left my life, I finally closed the shop for good… got tired of being rejected and people not wanting what I had to offer. Stopped losing my time looking for something that would never come and got content with the life I had.

My life gave a 360º. I don’t blame my looks only. There is something seriously wrong with me, I can say from my bad luck with love… of any kind up to now, but I won’t die from it. I may not have had a man, but I have a nice house and will buy my own car this mouth, I have good friends and a lovely cat. I hope I’ll spent my 35 birthday carrying my first child also… thank God we don’t need the active participation of man to have a baby anymore! I just hope he/she would not also reject me. I’ve always thought that a woman can be broken down in three parts: daughter, woman and mother. As I said, I was not very successful in the first two, so I hope I’ll be in the last one, because I know I can be a wonderful mother. Again the irony reappear, since I don’t know if I’ll be able to conceive because I have myoma. If not, I’ll be finally alone, as my life pointed out a lot. I don’t want to adopt, because I want to do at least one thing the same way any other women in this world do. If I cannot than its ok.

Besides, I’m not ashamed to say that I developed some kind of phobia to love and men. Every time my eyes check up a man, I just tell myself he would not pay attention to me, and life goes on as safe as always. My brain learned to relate love with pain… and pain is something I avoid like the plague. I don’t hate them, I have a lot of male friends, but that is all.

My advice for women is read the signs! Life always points out things! If I had accepted mine I’d have had less pain and more joy in life. It is good to find someone that can be with you, but if you cannot don’t keep dreaming about it and wasting time. Go do something productive with your life. If you did not find someone before 30 (or even 25), it is because it was mean to be that way. Babies can still be made, with or without a male participant, and there is many things we can do being single we cannot as a married girl.

Needless to say, I’ve lost all these requirements at age 30. The curly fro thing would still be nice, though.

That’s true … up to a point. I still want to date women that I find attractive, but my tastes have expanded. I now find more women attractive than I did when I was younger. I’m also more likely to focus on a woman’s best (physical) features and ignore her worst (physical) features.

Looks may not matter substantially less as I’ve grown older, but I can see how my broader tastes could easily be mistaken for that.

I really don’t want to come off as having an ego trip here, but just to prove a point- I’ve never modeled, but I’ve been asked to, or told I should LOTs of times, and yet I’ve never exactly had guys beating at my door. Same with one of my good friends who looks like Winnie from the Wonder Years. How do you explain that? We’re both friendly people. Our acquaintances who’re great people, but average in the looks department have married great guys.

Yawn- I think it’s funny you keep mentioning Western men- I can tell you that Indian men are a LOT more picky when it comes to women’s appearances than American males are. It’s disgusting- I’ve heard of Indian guys rejecting girls because she had a mole or left cheek or something stupid like that.

Two kinda offbeat stories-

You all know who Cleopatra is, I assume. I’ve read her history, and her great physical beauty is a myth, and this is supported by recent archaeological finds. It was her power, wit, and brains that charmed men. And this was in BC days!

And, this is a bit more sobering, but I was reading the story of a woman born with some syndrome that severely deforms the face. Even though a lot of people (myself included) would become a withdrawn hermit when faced with something like that, this woman manages to have a positive attitude, a good career, and a boyfriend who’s above average looking! I just put that in here as an extreme example to show that it’s what you radiate that you get back.

I think that when men are young, they want a beautiful woman who is great in bed, and the inside doesn’t much matter. As men age, they still want the beautiful woman who is great in bed, but now they want her to be beautiful on the inside as well! So, unlike you, I personally see no evidence that looks matter less to men as they age. In my experience, very few older men are willing to date a woman they don’t find physically attractive while I know many women who will date a guy that don’t find attractive with the hope that he turns out to be a great guy. Moreover, I rarely see unattractive women coupled with attractive men, but I see the opposite quite a bit.

You can probably care less about my opinion, but as some of the others posters have mentioned, you sound bitter. And this is coming from an average looking woman.

I will back you up about guys’ preference for the beautiful, model-looking women. Then again, most women would prefer a George Clooney clone to a Chris Farley one. I think that as guys mature and become more interested in a serious relationship, though, that their emphasis on outward appearance decreases and they look more towards the inner qualities that matter most in a long-term relationship. And the guys who are more interested in a serious relationship are the guys you want to be attracting anyway.