These are normal conclusions to draw, but they are patently FALSE conclusions. You know how I know this? Because I went out with more people than you – over 300 in 10 years. And if I had quit after “a few women” rejected me or because “18 months” had passed without being in love, I would not be married right now.
Understand, the people who succeed in ANYTHING are the ones who are able to fight through discomfort and failure. People who want to play it safe can continue to lead a safe, low-stakes life. There’s certainly nothing wrong with it. You can be perfectly content with your job, your friends, your yoga, your cat, your workshops and your spiritual life. And if that’s all you want, that should make things extremely simple. No need for dating, no need for trial and error and failure and confusion and rejection…and no possibility of finding everlasting love.
That’s your call, Heather. But don’t make the mistake of concluding that because it hasn’t yet happened for you, it will never happen for you. The only way for it to happen, however, requires an act of boldness on your part.
The people who succeed in ANYTHING are the ones who are able to fight through discomfort and failure.
You must vow to try dating in a NEW way.
Why? Because the OLD way isn’t working, hasn’t worked, and, most likely will never work.
And that’s where I want to acknowledge the validity of “why bother” syndrome. If you refuse to change anything from the way you were doing it before, then yes, there is absolutely no point in continuing to date.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
So if you want to know why you read this advice and yet nothing’s changed in your love life, ask yourself – are you doing anything different? Or are you reading, understanding, nodding your head…and STILL doing everything the same?
Are you still using your same old profile and photos?
Are you still frustrated at all the rejection you face?
Are you surprised that the wrong people are attracted to you, and unsure how to get the right people to be interested?
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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