Comments on: Women Are Racist

By: History Buff

History Buff — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 10:03:55 +0000

This sounds about right. Goes to that whole evolutionary idea of men trying to spread their seeds as much as possible vs. women more in-tuned with guys who can “protect” and provide resources.
If our culture (US) perceives an ideal mate as someone who is white, rich, and is pretty social, that is what women are going to go after (this is what girls are going to feel with the man). Add also that women prefer taller men (check out the study online), it is no wonder that Asian men are on the short end of the stick.
If there is any consolation for Asian men, a lot of this “rule” is not set in stone. What is considered a providing mate for a woman changes overtime each generation. In fact, only a century ago, it was very common for Chinese men to date & marry Black women in the US and Caribbeans (take that for weird facts in history).
PS- About me. Just a stats and history buff. Was in a relationship with an Italian, Korean, Chinese, and Mexican in my life.

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 21:07:42 +0000

Racial dating preferences are fine. The romance community is now global. Everyone is finally free to seek the person right for them, physically and with respect to compatibility. I’ve done a lot of thought into this issue, and I always end up with the same conclusion: you can’t dictate to others whom they choose to love. You just can’t. I agree it *can* be unfair if a woman wants a man who is at least 6′ tall, she indirectly excludes Asian men, and if a man likes blondes, he indirectly excludes black women. Then again, the Asian men can have their own preferences, as can black women (and both are entitled to do so).
You can’t impose egalitarian political ideals in the world of love. People like certain traits, and dislike others. People want attractive partners, tall ones, fit ones, fat ones, dark ones, fair ones, whatever. Somebody always gets excluded. Love is inherently *unequal*. Your choice for one partner results in the rejection of 10 others. No amount of socio-political discussion about equality and open-mindedness is going to alter that reality.
I’m Asian. I’m 40, 5’7″, divorced. I have 3 kids. 2 of them are autistic. My ex was white. I love Caucasian women. That’s what attracts me, and I shiver inside when I stand by one. I can’t help it. And, honestly, I can’t blame those Caucasian women who feel nothing for me, or think I’m too short. They’re not racists. They’re just trying to find their passion, just as I’m trying to do the same.
And, good news, I met a fabulous, 43 year old Caucasian brunette recently who saw something in me and welcomed me into her life. And she’s gorgeous to me. She was born in a small midwestern town. I was born in the big city in the west coast. I use a fork. She uses chopsticks. It’s hilarious and we adore each other. It *happens*. It takes time, patience, but ultimately, you just have to stay the course. Keep believing.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 14:45:59 +0000

@Lucy, if you don’t like the conversation, why does it bother you that other people have it. That is great if you live a color-blind existence but I’m guessing you aren’t a POC, which basically gives you the advantage in these situations.
MOC like to chase white women, or women of color who aren’t their race, and I guess it bothers them when those women don’t respond. There is definitely a hierarchy when it comes to dating and mating and the people form groups that are stereotyped negatively experience this when they attempt to date across the color line. While I think they should examine why it’s so important to them, it’s not as if it’s not a real issue.
But you kind of have to walk in their shoes or you have no real right to tell them to shut up.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 05:09:06 +0000

Do we really need to have this discussion? There are far more important things to consider than race. How about maturity, kindness, can he make you laugh? I have had relationships with white, black and asian men and you know what, they were all interesting, sweet human beings. Focus on what is really important.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 22:44:06 +0000

@M,
Not sure if we’re on the same wavelength(I think we are), then yes, non-white men really only are complaining about white women when they say that “women” are racist. I’ve noticed that a lot of men will list their own race and white women, except of course black men who seem to be unique in listing every other race EXCEPT their own.
So the Asian or Indian men who “can’t get a date” only think of white women as being the only other type of acceptable women besides women of their own race (who they complain only chase white men). So I can’t pity them at all…why should anyone pity them when they have no problem paying forward the same treatment they receive?

By: m

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 00:26:11 +0000

I think if you Asian, Latin, and Middle Eastern men stopped perceiving “women” and “white women” as the only interchangeable nouns, you’d have much less to complain about and do much better.
/woman of color who dates interracially

By: southAsa

southAsa — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 22:43:20 +0000

I am of south asian descent. I have lived in the US for 12 years and have been in several states. Most of the time I have lived in majority white areas and interracial dating differs from region to region. In the south, mexican and african american men have white girlfriends, so did I. When I moved to the east coast, white women were more racist, in the midwest, again white women are racist, in the south west, arizona, new mexico, white women and hispanic women are racist. If you live in california, women tend to be more open minded regardless of race where you will find white/asian, white/indian, black/hispanic, indian/hispanic, black/white pairings. I would say south california is the only interracial dating melting pot in america because of the abundance of the variety of ethnicities living there which is not found everywhere in the US. I like women of all ethnicities and majority of the time I find white women sexually attractive, but they are becoming the most racist of them all, which is difficult for me for being brown, expecially in these times when brown men are shown in the media in a very degrading way that affects the mentality of the people of this country. For the past 8 to 9 years, brown men have faced more racism in dating than what black men faced back in the 60′s.

By: April

April — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 21:24:28 +0000

I have nothing of real substance to add to these comments; seems everything has already been covered. I just want to say I’m a 27 year old white woman who’s attractive (there’s no way to not sound snobbish saying that–it’s what I’m told, and empirical evidence suggests it’s true) and I’ve dated 2 white men, 3 Mexican-American men and am currently dating an Asian guy who was born and raised in China. I date men based on how physically attractive they are (I have a pension for long hair!) as well as their intellect, drive, humor and kindness…not necessarily in that order. I’ve seen attractive guys of all races and there are PLENTY of hot Asian guys (Shin Koyamada…I melt when I see him). I suppose it helps that I’m 5 feet tall, so every guy is taller than me.
An hypothesis I could suggest for why women seem less likely to date outside their race is fear that their family will judge them harshly. I had to endure my grandparents call my Mexican-American boyfriend Paco, Jose, Pedro…any other name besides his real name (Juan). Sometimes they just called him “the Mexican” for the 5 YEARS we dated. They’re ignorant eh-holes, so I just brushed them off. Luckily my mom and dad are very accepting. But I could see how racist parents could mess things up. For some insane reason, racist family members may see their daughter GIVING BIRTH to a bi-racial child as more of an affront than their son inseminating a woman of a different race? I don’t know.

By: markymark

markymark — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 16:07:29 +0000

This is hilarious, Asian men are basically competing like crazy with everyone for Asian women, so they have to date outside their race but getting rejected more percentage wise by the already few (compared to men) women of other races who are willing to date outside their race.
bah lol. Yes i’m a bitter Asian male
(I did briefly date 2 white chicks in High School, the extent of my interracial relationships so far).

By: Lucy

Lucy — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 22:18:34 +0000

I did date someone of a different race. It was mostly the clash of cultures which made it a bit edgy. This was true even with someone who was born in the UK. So it can be pretty complicated with someone who at face value seems pretty similar to you. We didn’t share the same cultural references but he seemed somehow resentful of this and wanted to remind me as often as he could of “the white man’s burden”. He didn’t celebrate Christmas either which was hard for me to get my head around as I live for family festivities.

Ethnicity in general does not affect how attracted I am towards a person. Although I would say it’s more likely I’d be attracted to someone of the same race. In general if a man is handsome, then he’s handsome and race is no issue for me at all. I grew up in the Scottish countryside, which meant that I did not encounter many people of a different race. I can’t help but fall for men of the same race as me because they are what I’m used to seeing. I didn’t even see anyone of a different race in my town (although I do travel abroad) until I was almost a teenager.