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Have you ever gone through a long dating dry spell?
It’s not like you suddenly became less confident or less attractive, you just sort of… stopped dating.
You let the online dating subscription lapse.
You didn’t go out looking for guys.
You just focused on what was right in front of you – your work, your friends, your travel, your hobbies and passions.
And you were good at it. And you enjoyed it. And it was easy.
But then you looked up and realized that a few YEARS had gone by since you had a boyfriend.
If this is a familiar scenario to you, it’s certainly no crime. However, by not taking any action in love, you’re not getting any closer to your goal of finding a happy, healthy, long-term relationship.
Just the other night I was coaching a special client on the phone. Laurie, 38, very much wants a husband and children, and has very little dating and relationship experience to show for her age.
By not taking any action in love, you’re not getting any closer to your goal of finding a happy, healthy, long-term relationship.
When we look at her life, it’s easy to see why:
She works hard all day, then comes home to watch TV or read.
That’s pretty much it.
When I ask her why she doesn’t have more of a social life, Laurie shrugs.
“I don’t know,” she tells me. “I just don’t. I guess I’m comfortable this way.”
Laurie’s 100% correct. She IS comfortable this way. And, as a result, she has had a total of no boyfriends in 38 years. The longer she goes without a relationship, the more comfortable she gets in her life. The more comfortable she gets, the greater her fear of busting out of her comfort zone.
She acknowledges that Mr. Right is not going to approach her in her office, nor is he going to knock on her bedroom door at night.
She acknowledges that if she wants to achieve her goal of finding connection, comfort, passion and family, she has to start meeting more men.
And yet she STILL chooses not to. Why? Fear.
Because Laurie has so little experience with men – and with women– she’s fearful that she’s not going to be “good” at being social.
This is a result of taking herself out of the game for years at a time.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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