And this is why, despite her disappointment, Carol really shouldn’t be all that upset. Nor should you be upset if you ever set a reasonable boundary and the man walks away.
What’s a reasonable boundary?
Wanting to talk in between dates, making weekend plans in advance, committing to a relationship after three months.
If you suggest these in a reasonable way at a reasonable point in time and a guy refuses, then guess what?
He’s NOT the guy she thought he was. You didn’t lose your future husband. You lost the ILLUSION of your future husband. See, your future husband, when faced with the prospect of waiting for sex will do one of two things:
a) Decide that, yes, he does like you enough to be your boyfriend. He was just too afraid to push things that fast, but he’s glad you suggested it.
b) Decide that he’s not ready to commit yet, but he appreciates your respectable stance. You’ll both get semi-naked, have a little fun, and no hearts will be broken.
Your future husband does NOT:
c) Bail like a rat leaving from a sinking ship.
So if you’re worrying about why some guy disappears suddenly on you – without any reasonable explanation – the thing to know is this:
You didn’t lose your future husband.
You lost the ILLUSION of your future husband.
You’re OVERRATING that person’s character.
He is NOT a good partner for you.
Be GLAD that you learned that this person is not in it for the long haul.
Remember, despite all your bad experiences, there are good men out there – men just like you, who are wondering where to connect with you.
The only responsibility you have is to continue to make the effort to meet them.
Why He Disappeared is the smart, strong, successful woman's guide to understanding men. If you want to learn how men think, and rediscover how to have meaningful relationships - all from a man's point of view - click here to learn Why He Disappeared.
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