What Do Men Get Out of Looking At Other Women? (And Why Do Men Cheat?)

What Do Men Get Out of Looking at Other Women? (And Why Do Men Cheat?)
967 Shares

Dear Evan,

What is it that men get out of looking/gazing at beautiful women, nude or otherwise?

I have read on other websites that men actually get a chemical “high” in their brain when they see an attractive woman and that is why they are so drawn to look at other women even when they are in love with another. I’m wondering, from your perspective, what you think it is. Are men sexually “turned on” when they see a beautiful woman naked and automatically fantasize about having sex with her or is it more of just plain old admiration for the beautiful female form with no arousal? And, if it is sexual arousal, does that happen only in seeing a naked woman (magazine, strip joint, porn) or does that happen when you see a beautiful clothed woman as well? I have always been very curious about this as I think it is very different for women. —Cat

Dear Cat,

Thoughtful and provocative question, and I’m going to attempt to tackle it even though I’m no therapist, historian or biologist.

First off, I want to acknowledge that everything you wrote, in my estimation, is true.

Men, regardless of relationship status, get a chemical high in seeing attractive women.

Men can appreciate the female form, either clothed or naked.

Men, regardless of relationship status, get a chemical high in seeing attractive women.

Men are aroused by images of clothed or naked women (but not as much as you’d think.)

What I’d like to add to all of those ideas is that none of that should affect your relationship…unless you make it affect your relationship.

In other words:

GOOD men, regardless of relationship status, get a chemical high in seeing attractive women.

GOOD men can appreciate the female form, either clothed or naked.

GOOD men are aroused by images of clothed or naked women (but not as much as you’d think.)

Without covering the entire landscape of debates about DNA or evolution or propagation of the species, here’s my take on the whole thing:

Men, since the beginning of time, were designed to spread their seed.

Because monogamy lowers the chances that our genes will survive, men are not, by nature, monogamous creatures. We choose monogamy because we deem that it’s more beneficial to have love, stability, and a nuclear family than to have lots of children running around with our eyes. But make no mistake, monogamy is a choice, not a natural state.

Men can watch porn, fantasize about other women, and still be great husbands and fathers.

Anyway, in my estimation, the male sex drive has nothing to do with kindness or personality or compatibility. It is entirely based on physical attraction, which we feel instantly with the release of dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone. This is why men can know if they would sleep with you in less than five seconds.

As far as what’s physically attractive? I think it’s largely based on societal reinforcement. Most men, for example, agree that symmetrical faces with small noses and certain hip to waist ratios (thin waist, wider hips) are considered attractive. Naturally, there are some men who like older women or heavier women or women with one leg. There’s a lid for every pot. Still, a lot of men still want to try on the same lid, who just happens to be 20-30 years old, have stunning features and is built like a Barbie doll. Moving along…

Next, I’d like to assert that a man’s sexual tastes and feelings of attraction don’t disappear because he is in love with another woman.

His intense feelings for his girlfriend may lessen his desires to look elsewhere for sex. But once those intense feelings of chemistry go away (as they usually do after 18 to 36 months — just long enough to conceive and raise a young child), his attraction will still spike every time he sees an attractive woman, in some form or another.

The more self-aware men understand this intellectually, and relegate those spikes of attraction to what they are — biologically programmed bursts of pleasure. We give ourselves doses of this pleasure when we’re walking on a beach, when we’re at an outdoor concert, when we’re at parties, and especially when we’re on the Internet. I’ve heard that 30% of the internet is porn, and if this is the case, it should be no surprise.

Men crave variety. This is normal. It’s all about whether he acts on this desire.

Men can admit attraction to favorite celebrities, and still be great husbands and fathers.

Men can watch porn, fantasize about other women, and still be great husbands and fathers.

Men can go to bachelor parties, go to a strip club, and still be great husbands and fathers.

I know this because I’ve done all of the above and I know I am not alone.

And since the value of my marriage is far greater than the value of sleeping with a stranger in Paris, I remain faithful, even though I’m attracted to other women everywhere I go. It would never even occur to me after 300 dates and nearly 10 years as a dating coach that there’s anyone out there who’d make me happier for the next forty years than my own wife.

That doesn’t mean in some alternate universe that I wouldn’t like to be able to have my cake and eat it, too. That’s essentially what alpha males do — get married and keep sleeping with other women. John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant – we can probably make a list of most politicians, athletes and rock stars.

Men would be perfectly content having missionary sex with a new woman every night.

So why do men cheat?

Because they’re perpetually attracted to new women.

Because they’re high profile, rich, ambitious men who are desirable to these women.

Because they’re so important that they don’t think the rules apply to them.

Because they travel a lot and are frequently exposed to temptation.

Because they don’t value their wives as much as the thrill.

Because they don’t rationally calculate the value of their losses. So Tiger sleeps with a waitress in a Denny’s parking lot and he loses a half billion dollars, his wife, his kids, and his golf mojo. Somehow, I don’t think he considered that with his pants around his ankles.

This is just a long, roundabout way of saying that, in general, men want variety.

I recall a study that said the exact same thing.

Men would be perfectly content having missionary sex with a new woman every night.

Women would be perfectly content with the same man forever, as long as he mixed it up in the bedroom a bit.

The results didn’t surprise me in the least.

Once again, I am not defending men. I am explaining men. Not every single man on the planet. Some men only have eyes for their wife. Some men are attracted to other men. Some men couldn’t conceive of having sex with a woman he didn’t love.

These are perfectly normal men, but they are also exceptions.

So even if we establish that men are driven by sex, it’s far from the whole story, as evidenced by the 50 million married men in the United States.

Simply put, men want love, too. Even if we still like to look elsewhere.

It’s far better to understand and accept these qualities in men than to shame them, insult them, or tell them that they’re wrong for being this way.

As long as he treats you well and doesn’t take action on his desires, you’ve got a good man whose desire for you is stronger than his real sexual impulse to be with someone else.

Join our conversation (1,014 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.

Comments:

  1. 401
    Z

    So at what point are women going to cease preventing men from fulfilling their reproductive duty to have numerous children with multiple females in order to guarantee the spreading of their genes? By latching-on to a man and telling him he can’t be with other women as well as you, you are actually harming him.

    1. 401.1
      Nat

      Lol women can’t prevent men from doing anything they don’t want to do–we were gifted with free will. 🙂 Men can have kids with diff ppl if they aren’t in a committed rship and Can Support The Kids. Eg Hugh Grant has a few kids with 2 moms, I think, and he has loads of money to take care of them. There’s no issue there.

       

      We have choices since it’s our lives, but have to take responsibility for them and understand the trade offs. Not blame others for so-called making us do stuff   😉

  2. 402
    A lady

    Yes, men are programmed to “spread their seed.”… If men heard regularly that “women were designed to “spread their legs,” do you think men would be as accepting?
    As a woman, when I’m ovulating, I could have sex all day. He can’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m screwing other guys or even looking at or for someone else to impregnate me. Just saying.

  3. 403
    Kat

    I’m amazed how men think they monopolise the trait of craving for variety, and they feel entitled to a woman’s devotion/loyalty as if that’s simply her natural tendency.

    For the guys out there who take their women for granted, get the facts straight, in that we women ALSO crave for variety, feel instant attraction to gorgeous men. The difference is, 1. it’s WAY harder for us to refrain from our temptation because men make it so “easy”, but we still put in the effort. 2. we actually make the effort, for the benefit of our partners, to reprogram ourselves to NOT look at other guys, and to define being attracted to other guys while in a relationship as being the wrong thing to do. On the other hand, men just walk around claiming to the whole world how they are just programmed this way therefore it’s their birth right to look at and claim attractions to other women.

    In summary, we women go against the odds trying hard to be and also appear loyal to our partners for their benefit, whereas men simply cut out the effort and claim they are just born sluts. Grow the hell up, and treat your partner with respect and consideration, and yes, sometimes it involves a little effort such as toning down your “nature”.

    1. 403.2
      Randi

      Nicely (and accurately) stated Kat! 🙂

       

    2. 403.3
      Sylvana

      Very well put!

  4. 404
    Shanti

    I am a guy who happens to be married with another guy. I don’t watch porn cause I feel like I’m cheating on my S.O. when I look at that crap. He on the other hand doesn’t understand, or doesn’t want to understand why I hate it, still does it and his excuse is that it’s just the way he is. Oh please. It’s the same shit as fucking with someone else. I don’t look at other people and don’t get at all why do women and men do it, but I don’t find human bodies that interesting. And it pisses me off when people say I’m crazy just because I believe you can love, want and need just one person, not every fucking thing that has two legs and a butt. Yet, I’m still with him. I love him, know he loves me. People won’t change, cause it’s convenient for most to keep the things the way they are. Porn is evil. I am gay and I say it’s bad. It leads to dirty thoughts and dirty thoughts to dirty actions. It’s ugly. It’s not human, it’s animal.

    And sorry if I offended anyone, misspelled something or shared too much of the confusion in my mind. Just got really mad over that whole thing, Again.

  5. 405
    kill me plz

    Wow this just kind of shattered me. Maybe it’s because I’m more gay than straight but I can’t get turned on by looking at men and when I see a beautiful woman I just compare myself to her and wonder if my man would like it better. Now that I know a man can look at anyone and know within 5 seconds if he’d sleep with her.. I give up on men.. I’ll never be able to handle a relationship with a man..

    1. 405.1
      Denise

      My guess is you are trolling but… If you are seriously enquiring open yourself to a younger type guy.   A younger mentality of guy will likely already be ready for a mature relationship.   Some older people already shut out certain types and already keep you out of their inner world.   Not worth your time.   Did this make sense to you?

  6. 406
    Mel

    Sorry but simply saying that ‘this is men’s biological make up’ & is ‘not that big a deal’ is partly what is wrong with society. I refuse to be an enabler because let’s be honest, in the end, it’s the women who have to pick up the pieces of this kind of behaviour. I dumped a guy recently who did this a lot, but it wasn’t simply ‘having the odd quick glimpse’ it was looking then looking again staring. To me it comes across as though you are forever dissatisfied; I don’t know – made me think, did your mother not give you enough love? Initially I tried ignoring but then I would see notifications from apps saying ‘this girl is London is checking out your profile’… I just think it’s a bad sign. Also, my Dad did this for so long & my Mum ended up finding out he was cheating consistently for a decade. Sorry, but if I see these signs, I run a mile!

  7. 407
    Denise

    The concensus that “men” on a whole have innate desires to cheat cause a huge imbalance in the way both genders view one another.   Really stating they’re gonna cheat…you really believe that, you tell us so and it is Very likelt to occur.   Your sources or your experiences seem to be quite from a negatively destructive state of mind.   Males NOR females in general cheat nor are interested to or even nearly likely to cheat.

  8. 408
    S & C

    Not exactly.   Women like variety, women lust after other men, actors or in the real, women find other men attractive no matter the age. Women enjoy seeing attractive men while at the store, at partys, at sporting events, ….the gas station for that matter. Women are programmed by society to temper their desires and sexuality. We keep hearing the same monotonous message, men need to spread their seed, men have higher sex drives. Not true. Women have very high sex drives and can get bored sexually with the same partner. In a perfect universe where women could get away from being shamed about their sexuality, they would have as many partners as men, if no one would know. Some women really like marriage, one partner and some men are the same. The key is to be careful of stereotypes. Also, it is most rewarding in relationships, especially married, to not even feel the “four year syndrome,” by giving sex with your partner all you have, keep an open mind, do everything they want and actually enjoy it because you love and respect him her. If wives would leave societal mind warp at the door and actually listen to what their man desires and needs, then he will reciprocate and the relationship won’t be full of “dinner rolls”, on the side. Both will look forward to the main meal every time. When both partners are well fed, then when they see attractive people of the opposite sex, it won’t have much of a charge, or affect anymore, it will just be, “yep, that’s a good looking woman, or man, good for them, anyway, my shiz is getting rocked so good, I could care less!”

  9. 409
    Amy Marie

    I have to say, I’m attracted to both men and women, I’m one of the most open minded women I know..but I think that whole “programmed” and “hardwired” excuse is bull. If things were programmed, we’d rarely evolve. We would stick to things and not change. So men are programmed to spread their seed…which means it should be OK to look. Well, women are programmed to choose the strongest, most masculine male to ensure that her offspring survive.. So why do so many women choose weak, out of shape, nerdy, even fat or older average men? Why do we go against that “animal instinct” and go by personality as well? Because we are HUMANS not animals. We think with our hearts and minds, not what’s between our legs- when we girls do that we’re termed a slut. So fair huh?

    My point is that things aren’t permanently programmed into us. We can and do change and evolve..we learn and grow. We aren’t wild creatures driven by animal instinct, otherwise there’d be no polite society. If a mans “natural instinct” is to spread their seed and have kids, then why do most men avoid having children like it’s the plague? No. Nice try boys. The simple fact is men look (or cheat) because they CHOOSE to. Looking versus ogling and/or having a sexual reaction are two different things, by the way.. To just look and notice that someone is attractive and that’s it -the way that you would appreciate a nice car or the sunset or something like that is fine.. its just noticing and seeing it. But it’s when you look too long or “check out”, or its inappropriately, or you get a sexual reaction or fantasize that I find it’s very wrong. That being said, I do honestly believe that wandering eyes (the wrong kind) eventually lead to wandering feet when/if the opportunity presents itself. Most of those “good guys” just don’t cheat because the opportunity never presented itself.. Or they’re afraid they’ll get caught. But I guarantee you 9 out of 10 have considered it. That’s not a good gut.

    Now, i am the type of girlfriend or wife that has gone to strip clubs and watched porn with my significant other. I have a completely open mind regarding sex. In many ways I’m more sexual than any man I know… The main difference with me is when I am fully committed to someone and very much in love and happy I do not find other people attractive .. I don’t check out other men in a sexual way. I dont check them out because I’m committed fully to someone and it would be wrong. If I know it would hurt or bother them, I don’t do it. There are men who are also like that, and it’s true..they are the exception and very rare (so keep him if you find one) because so many people are poisoned and spoiled to look and enjoy all they want. The world is their candy shop. It’s ridiculous haha So while I’m open minded, I also understand why so many women get so upset and hurt.. Because it’s everywhere you look. Everywhere you look, women are being sexualized for men’s gratification. Men don’t see the issue with this and just roll their eyes because they cannot sympathize with it.   But I guarantee you, if there were   these incredibly sexy, buff men with naked chests, half naked bodies or huge perfect penises plastered all over the TV and every magazine in sight, guys would start to have a complex problem and you would understand. It’s really unfair and even more so unfair for men to try to evade responsibility by saying that it’s programmed into their genetics and their male brain or instinctive to enjoy it or get off on it. It also bothers me when women have weight gain from pregnancy or pregnancy health issues and the men “don’t find them attractive anymore”..   But they helped to make them that way. So instead of being sympathetic and trying to help their woman feel better and be better – by maybe going to the gym together and eating right together, they start checking out other women and looking at porn. A-holes. Also, I find that a lot of the men who look, ironically, are quite unfortunate looking or flawed themselves in some way…and yet they have these beautiful, sweet women who love them and willingly wake up next to their ugly faces everyday and somehow think that they’re such perfect guys… While these guys are looking at and fantasizing about, and even cheating with other women instead of realizing how incredibly lucky they are and appreciating what they have. And that is a huge problem in society today..no one is happy with what they have. They always want more…better. So that right there, I think, is more responsible for men looking at other women and cheating than anything that’s been programmed into them since the beginning of time. It’s just plain selfishness. Society teaches us more and more to be selfish, ungrateful and unappreciative. Probably the reason that more women don’t cheat as much or ogle/look as much is because we’re mothers so we’re just trained to be unselfish. We consider the feelings of others. I say be happy and content with who you have chosen. If you find you’re not, have the decency to leave so they can have the chance to find someone who WILL think they are the most attractive person in the world and give them the respect they deserve. If you’re with someone who doesn’t mind and you don’t mind, then more power to you. But if you know that it bothers the person you’re in a relationship with then have the decency to respect their feelings.

  10. 410
    Mohamed Ali

    So Pathetic ….
    All these comments and all that struggle is about something ISLAM solved 1400 years ago   …
    Keep hearing and believing lies about ISLAM without even trying to find the truth ….
    Keep hearing and believing lies about ISLAM from people that they are not even Muslim … LOL
    It`s very simple ….
    In Islam men are ordered to lower their gaze   Why?
    because men enjoy looking at women
    because men enjoy being turned on
    because men enjoy erection
    And this is what happen when they stare or look at women ….

    In Islam women are ordered to cover their body, their hair, their curves, not to wear attractive clothes and more … they are just allowed to show their face and the two palms Why?
    Because applying this will stop YOU from turning on other men .

    And that means you and your man would focus on each other and stop living like animals.

    Women here are bothered because their husbands look and stare at other women and never thought that other men also look and stare at you.

    Women here are bothered because their husbands fantasize other women and never thought that also men fantasize with you.

    Women here are bothered because they want their husbands to stop looking at other women and never thought about what she will do to stop men from looking at you.

    Women here are bothered because what their husbands say about other women and never thought about that other men say the same exactly about you.

    The solution is a piece of cake …..   but people are blind
    Almost 2017 …. and people are still living before more that 1400 years

    http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/lowering_gaze.html

  11. 411
    Lola

    When you watch porn,  regularly,  you become desensitized to it, and need more, and kinkier things to look at. You mess yourself up watching it regularly due to this as it takes more to turn you on, and you’re often thinking about it while making love to your partner, instead of being in the moment with the person you love, which is much more fulfilling. So, what about when it leads to watching live interactive sex cams? I think it’s cheating if a person is having any type of sexual contact with a live person, other than who they’re committed to.

  12. 412
    dorvran 78

    its a problem no doubt. women blame men, and men blame women. watching porn is a sickness,true but its difficult to substitute a quick fix for a natural built in high. masturbation is when you just want to feel good and not have to worry about making someone else feel good with service and patience.when a man watches porn he is using a fantasy to fuel his ability to climax at a really extreme level. because the woman in a porn flick is working hard to please the man’s cravings with erotic dancing performances and tricks most wives don’t want to do because its silly to them. Would a live woman be preferred over a lubricated hand and new digital visuals? well yes but also no. if   the live woman happens to be the same woman who complains about your failures,income and general disappointments in all things and believes shes doing you a favor by lying down like a dead fish while you mount her like a fat walrus and destroy your penis in a jungle of sandpaper coarse razor wire hair because she stopped shaving once you married….then yes, the hand is better. its difficult to want intimacy with a negative depressing association no matter how lovely but that life, women beating you down verbally until the man escapes in an island sanctuary she can’t follow him to….sigh… and more sites like this where people simply vent the unchangeable truth that simply is everyone always sees themselves as the sole victim in a relationship while blaming the other for their life’s misery but not realizing that both parties are jacked up for only seeing the faults of each other but taking for granted the wonderful things they have forgotten they provide.

  13. 413
    Michelle

    I just want to say…. I’m very attractive… I used to work as a stripper. I have four kids now. I still think I’m hott.. I hate men though.. when I go out shopping ECT. Other men brake their necks to look and they’re with their wives and families. I just hate men… And I said that to say this… My kids father still checks out other women when we are out and it just bothers me… I mean can’t he doing it when I’m not around??? It’s just so disrespectful. I’m hot why is he checking out other women?? I’ll never get it!!! I just hate men.. and because I’m so attractive I feel like all he needs me for is sex.. he watches porn all the time.. I hate it… He tries to get me to watch it but I do not get turned on by watching female degrade herself fucking five guys at once and you want to have sex with me while watching it just disgusts me… But I try…. And I just hate being with him… I want romance and it’s never about me.. I think all men are just whores and pigs with a fucked up way of thinking… So I just want to say to all the women that may not fit the Barbie catagory…   it doesn’t matter how fine you are, how great in bed you are, men will be men… I mean pigs will be pigs… They will lie, cheat, fantasize, watch porn, regardless… So don’t let a man piggy ways make you think any differently than yourself.. your a good woman because of your characteristics not your looks and sexual pleasures there’s so much more to life than just sex!!! There are some kind loving men that want love and romance to and eyes for only his woman… I don’t know where they are but they’re out there somewhere.. us women need to know exactly what we want out of our husbands and do research to find if the gy can give us want we want n need. Vice versa.. but we are all beautiful don’t let man make you think anything less!! Don’t settle!

    1. 413.1
      Colleen

      Michelle, I have to tell you it made me feel so much better reading what you had to say on this subject and it sort of confirmed how I feel, but I forgot about this fact.   I have been with my guy for 14 years and when we first were dating, I was very thin and long legs, I had just lost all my excess weight from a divorce a year or two prior.   Of course when me and my guy first started dating, he was all into me, just me.   But as time went on, I notice when we would be out he is always looking at everyone else.   It really pissed me off.   One time I even told him, when you are out with me, I want you to be out with me, paying attention to me, not what everyone else is doing.   Then as time went on and he got me into some bad eating habits, I slowly started gaining some weight through the years.   Don’t get me wrong, I am still a nice looking person just an extra 15 lbs. over…..not obese.   And now a few times I noticed him looking at other people when we are out.   He will glance, talk to me and then keep glancing back at others.   Drives me nuts.   I forgot about when I was nice looking, thin, and hot he still did it and it upset me.   I forgot until I read your story.   I believe you are right.   He even told me this himself, men are more visual and women are verbal.   But like you, I don’t understand, if you are happy and with an attractive women, why do you have to check out others.   Makes not sense to me whatsoever.   I think they are all just pigs.   It doesn’t even cross my mind to check out other men even if they are hot when I am with him.   To me, I figure, I am happy and care and like the person I am with so who cares if some Don Wuan is in the room.   I truly believe that.   My suggestion to you would be from time to time, why don’t you give him a taste of his own medicine, when you are with him and there are no other hot women around, and you guys are talking, just break from that for a moment to OBVIOUSLY look at some other guy near by, and make it obvious.   I did this once to my boyfriend and it made me feel like crap, but also vindicated.

      1. 413.1.1
        Colleen

        PS… I know he was looking at my looking at some other guy.   LOL

  14. 414
    Nikki

    Hello everyone,

    we all know this is a very sensitive subject, one of those where you can’t find the right answer to. Every woman feels differently about it, but most have a problem with their loved ones being aroused by other women. It is natural for women to feel insecure about it as we want to be desired and when a man desires other women we feel like we are not good enough to keep all his attention. Even if a psychologist, biologist or any other expert explains to you that this is how the male brain is wired and that it has nothing to do with his love for you, it still bothers us and this is also completely natural and understandable. I feel like this should also be acknowledged by everyone that the insecurities and pain that comes with it are real and that it is okay to feel this way. If a person feels pain it is always real, no matter if someone else things it’s justified or not. The pain is there.

    I think the first step is to communicate with your partner openly and honestly but also not judge him for what he says, because this shows him he needs to lie in order to not upset you. I think this can be the first step in understanding your man, to just listen and if it is too much too handle then just take a walk and think about it for a while before resuming the conversation. We often tend to judge out of fear so an open heart and understanding with a loving heart is key here I think.

    But I think we women put too much value into this. Have we never admired the body of our male yoga teacher and thought about how he would feel on top of us? Or wondered about the sexual skills of the charming  coworker with the gorgeous eyes giving us the wink? I guess it’s all just about how far this goes and what our personal boundaries are and we need to find a person who matches those boundaries.

    I personally do not wanna be with a guy who watches porn regularly, but this is because I want a man who has more profound interest than to have time to indulge into this primitive side so much. Don’t know how to explain this without being offensive.   As an example I’d rather my man was going to go surfing at the beach, going mountain biking or climbing rather than sit on his computer watching strangers jump each other. I’d rather he admires a beautiful girl on the surfboard (without engaging with her) than admiring a busty porn actress. But this has more to do with the standard of a man I expect to be with.

    I wouldn’t be able to respect a man who does what some of the women wrote on here about their partners. And that would doom the relationship anyway because then it would be ME   who would fantasize about other men in a very unhealthy way for my relationship.

     

     

  15. 415
    Ann

    I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years.. when we first started dating and went out in public he looked at almost all women and was very friendly to them. At first I thought it was temporary and I didn’t want to believe that it happens still to this day. This Dog..grrr…(that I love and will have to leave March 30th) will not just look but he stares at All other women. I don’t think that it’s right and it makes me feel like shit, disrespected, and more insecure. Men who look hard…. (glances are fine) are obviously not very committed to the person that their with.Very disrespectful and he doesn’t change it. (Yes he could) even since he knows it bothers me. I try not to look at other men when we’re out together. I think when he stares at other women that it makes him look bad and he’s more interested   in these strangers than in me. I’m not going to stay with someone   who doesn’t like my looks???and makes me feel like a nobody. Two wrongs won’t ever make a right that’s probably why I don’t look at other men ..I will glance..not stare because I was raised to respectothers. Who wants to be with a guy when he’s looking at all women..It would be different if we were just friends then I wouldn’t care..No more Losers!!!

     

  16. 416
    HateMen

    Simply put, men are dogs and the most pathetic being. They do not respect women, we could blame it on the media but men have no control over their thoughts and their fucking dick! Wandering eyes is a bad sign and women should not have to deal with this under any circumstances. Sometimes I wish all the pretty girls die!

    1. 416.1
      SparklingEmerald

      Well if you hate men, why are you on this blog ?

      1. 416.1.1
        Buck25

        @ SE,

        “If you hate men, why are you on this blog?”

        Maybe because she’s read some of the man-bashing that   is a popular sport here, and feels she’s in the company of kindred spirits. Like attracts like, kinda like manure in a barnyard attracts flies.

    2. 416.2
      Buck25

      @HateMen

      Spoken like an ugly woman, and I don’t mean just skin deep either. Want me to tell you just how much I “respect” I have for any woman with an attitude like yours? Your type, quite frankly, makes me want to look even more, just because I know it pisses you off. See, I would have to actually have some reason to care what you think, before I stopped looking, just because it “bothers” you, and since I don’t even know you (or even want to   really), I, as a man, do not give a rat’s rear end what you think. Respect? Not in my universe, lady. Respect is something I earn and command every day; you, by contrast, apparently can’t, or don’t care to; you want it handed to you; what do you think respect is, free candy? NOTHING in this world is free. I don’t care what you think you “shouldn’t have to deal with in any circumstances”. Your opinion does not matter to me. What you do and say does, and you already disrespected me, and every other man on this blog, by calling us “dogs” and “the most pathetic being(s)”. That one just earned you my complete and utter contempt. You want respect? Try starting by bringing something men actually value to the table, and while you’re at it, how about you show a little of what you “demand” from men, and you might actually earn some in return.

  17. 417
    Lovedforme

    This article is like saying toddlers for the past 10,000 years have been using their hands to eat, it is therefore biological for them to eat with their hand, & they are at odds with nature if using a fork or manners.               Men can be sexual without coveting other women. This misnomer is based on a man ruled society.   This opportunistic behavior is socially acceptable because men want it, not because it is nature’s need. Justification of these offensive, demeaning, & hurtful acts are just another way for men to act without consequences.            Shame on this site to proactively defend and anoint this behavior that belittles women in all stages of relationships and love.

    1. 417.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Okay. You tell me why men look at other women. I await your thoughtful reply (that has nothing to do with biology, just societal conditioning).

      1. 417.1.1
        Randi

        Lovedforme ~ you’re wrong. It is completely normal for men (and women) to be attracted to other attractive people. What are we supposed to do? Gouge out our eyes? How each gender handles that attraction and the biological disposition as opposed to the societal one for each gender is the discussion at hand.

        There is an obvious bias (socially/culturally) that would have us  preconditioning males biologically to straying/desiring a plethora of females, while having  females oppositely predispositioned. False narrative.

  18. 418
    annie dacotah

    Not all of them do it to them same extent. Some really don’t.   Some do it a ton. Just like the women I know. It has to do with manners when it comes down to how people behave. Perhaps some people have not bothered to figure that out. Find one who has because having one who doesn’t makes you look like a fool and that’s humiliating. I’d like to be with a person who is solid enough in themselves that whether or not random strangers find them attractive isn’t of such importance that they forget their bond of loyalty to their partner in favor of capturing someone else’s attention. I wouldn’t want someone like that as my right hand man in any operation . if I’m going to put all the work it takes to be in a committed relationship, it’s gotta be real all around. This is a hard old world to get by in, at the end of the day respect ,loyalty, integrity trump being liked/loved. I don’t think the authentic version of either comes without those things.

  19. 419
    Birgit

    Men find it disrespectful if their wives stare or lust after other men too…

    So why do women have to put up with that?

    Respect comes both ways..

    1. 419.1
      Buck25

      Birgit,

      Short answer, because women have the same feelings, and do the same exact thing, only as in most other things, you’re sneakier and more indirect than men are. Neither your hearts   or minds are exactly as squeaky clean and innocent as you’d like us to think. There’s ample evidence of that, every day on this very blog. To a man, that   moral pedestal you women like to imagine you occupy , is made of hot air, wishful thinking, and more than a little hypocrisy, with a dash of moral cowardice thrown in for good measure. It has all the substance of a puff of smoke from a trash fire, smells just as noxious, and I have had more than enough of the sheer pretentiousness it implies. I have, accordingly, made it my personal mission to kick that imaginary pedestal right out from under you every time you climb upon it, so as to bring you supposed “goddesses” (in your own minds, anyway) back to the level of the rest of us mortals, where you belong.

       

  20. 420
    Liliana

    Why do we have to deal with this ,just because they’re are males and thats their nature .? Bullshit .! Sometimes I prefer to be a lesbian (because we understand each other ) or be by myself and never get hurt but I Love him a lot 😔

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *