Why Does He Keep Sexy Photos of His Old Girlfriends?

man looking at sexy photos of his girlfriend

I’m engaged to be married to my fiancé. We’ve have been together for 2 years now. My issue is that I want to completely trust him, but he makes it very hard for me to do so.

When the subject of past relationships comes up, he always has a different response as to the number of partners he has had and the seriousness of the relationships.

Also, I’ve found many nude or nearly nude photos on his computer of women he has dated. He also never deleted any women’s phone numbers in his phone after months of us dating. When I asked him why, he said it’s because he doesn’t want to answer when they call.

After we were already engaged, a woman he had a short fling with sent him a provocative photo which he then forwarded to a friend, I guess to prove the fact that she was still not over him.

I don’t feel in the least intimidated about these women, because I’m very secure in myself and in my appearance, but it bothers me that he even would go so low as to associate with and actually sleep with them.

I know this is just the bad part of our relationship but this is basically the main negative. He is, however, the man I fell in love with and actually thought was my soulmate very early on in our relationship.

What do you think? —Evelyn

Dear Evelyn,

I think I need a little more information about you and your fiancé to be able to give a thoughtful and well-informed answer.

I’d like to know how old you are, how long it took until he proposed, what his past looks like, how many women he’s been with, whether his parents are still married and whether he’s the type of person who prides himself on being a devoted husband and father.

There is a very valid explanation for why some men lie; their girlfriends can’t handle the truth.

If he’s very young, proposed very quickly, has a history of cheating and/or deviant behavior, and is getting married despite his lack of belief in the institution, you may have some major issues to confront.

However, without that, all I can do is insert myself in his shoes to address your insecurities about him.

(By the way, this is what I do on every single question. I ask myself: would I do what her boyfriend is doing? If I’d do it, it’s not that bad, because I know that I’m a normal guy and good husband.)

So, you’ve asked him a number of times how many partners he’s had.

You know how many times my wife has asked me? Zero.

You know why she’s never asked me?

Because it’s irrelevant. The past is the past. If I’m 100% loyal and devoted and will be by my wife’s side until the day we die, what difference does it make if I was with 10 women or 100 women? That’s right. None.

Your insecurities are the reason that this topic keeps coming up, Evelyn. And because your fiancé knows you can’t handle the truth, he doesn’t tell you the truth. If the truth is that he’s slept with 100 women and this freaks you out, there doesn’t seem to be much value in telling you, is there?

If he has to put up with the third degree for admitting his humanity, it’s just easier to tell you what you want to hear.

I’m not defending a man who is a congenital liar, by the way.

I’m suggesting that there is a very valid explanation for why some men lie; their girlfriends can’t handle the truth. The truth is that he has a checkered past. The truth is that he likes porn. The truth is that he still finds other women attractive. This doesn’t make him a bad man or a bad partner. It makes him human. And if he has to put up with the third degree for admitting his humanity, it’s just easier to tell you what you want to hear.

Next, you’ve found nude photos on his computer of women he’s dated.

And how, pray tell, did you find such photos? Did they print themselves up? Was he using them as his wallpaper for his desktop?

Or did you get on his computer and start snooping through his files, only to discover that he has a past?

Once again, he wasn’t waving these nude photos in your face: you dug for pay dirt and you hit it. Congratulations. You got the “truth”.

Finally, you seem know which exes he has listed on his phone. How exactly do you know that? It couldn’t be because you looked through his phone, could it? Because I certainly don’t know who’s on my wife’s phone and she doesn’t know who’s on mine.

All in all, Evelyn, you claim that you’re not intimidated by these women, you’re secure with yourself, and you’re happily engaged.

I think your actions indicate otherwise.

Stop snooping, start trusting, and get on with your life instead of worrying about the past.

If you can’t trust your fiancé, you shouldn’t marry him.

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  1. 41

    You may be old enough to remember in  the olden days before cell phones,  sitcoms  would joke about men having a  “little black book”. And having to give up the “little black book” when they got married. When I read the OP’s letter, my first thought was “ahh, he doesn’t want to give up his “little black book” in case things don’t work out.” I didn’t leap to the conclusion he was cheating. I have no way of knowing WHY he’s hanging onto these numbers, just that his explanation- after 2 years – does not make much sense.

    1. 41.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      @Selena – My DAD had a literal little black book, complete with ratings of girlfriends, from his late teens and early 20’s. I only know this because my Mom TOLD me about it and SHOWED it to me. She used to joke about one skanky woman that she called “Elvira” for her poofy dark hair, and laughed that my dad actually found her attractive. This is the paradigm I come from. One of openness and trust, not fear and jealousy. My parents were married for 30 years before my Dad passed away. And even if he kept his little black book in a box under his marital bed (for god knows what reason – nostalgia, ego, memory?), I’m 100% certain he never went back to Elvira. And that my Mom being cool about it contributed to the health of their relationship. Do you mean to suggest that my Mom should have made a bigger deal about my Dad’s little black book? That this would have been healthier for their relationship?

      Oh, and at risk of outing myself: I have a list of everyone I’ve ever kissed on my computer. I kept it from when I was 16. When I was more of a writer, I liked looking at the names and recalling the memories. I never wanted to forget anything. My wife is the last name on that list. She knows I have it. She’s never asked to see it, nor worry about whether I’ve ever looked at it again (I have). Trying to police these kinds of things in your man is far more toxic than the lists/photos themselves – especially if the man is kind and devoted – as I’d like to think that me and my father are. That’s all I’m trying to illustrate here. Context matters. Trustworthy men don’t become untrustworthy because they still possess photos from twenty years ago.

  2. 42

    “Why would he propose to her willingly if his main concern was actively cheating on her?”
    Why does anyone cheat on their partner or spouse? But it certainly does happen.
    I think that what throws up a potential red flag for me about the OP’s letter isn’t a couple of old photos or phone numbers, or a couple of ex’s that her boyfriend is still friends with. It’s a pattern of incidences that seem suspicious, rather than one stray pair of panties, or whatever. It’s the fact that his stories about his relationships are inconsistent, that he keeps MANY photos of nude or nearly-nude exes, and what sounds like a number of ex’s phone numbers. If he was really friends with these women, then why would he worry about NOT wanting to take their calls? He’s not friends with them, so why keep their numbers? It’s the fact that, rather than just deleting an ex’s photo, he chose to pass it on to a friend and smirk about it. Doesn’t the boyfriend have other ways to “fondly” remember his past relationships than keeping – and forwarding – nude pix around?
    While I believe the boyfriend is innocent until proven guilty, I think the OP needs some straight answers from him, so that she can feel confident in trusting him. And he is really the only one who can provide those answers. (Agreed, Ruby. – EMK)

  3. 43
    David T

    how many engaged/married men keep NUDE photos of exes on their computers do you think? I’m guessin’ not so many.

    There is ZERO reason to keep semi-nude and nude photos of people you used to screw on your phone.

    Personally, I think having nude photos of the person you are CURRENTLY screwing is odd, but I accept different people have different outlooks. As far as “keeping” them for two years, you are presuming he is making a conscious effort to “keep” them.  
    Not many people periodically delete every file on their computer and every contact out of their contacts list that is no longer relevant.   Some might be digitally fastidious enough at that level, but I know I have tens of thousands of pieces of text, emails, personal and business letters I have written etc. all over my computer and phone that I will never look at again….and also will never get around to deleting.   To sort through all that strikes me as almost OCD.

    Since I never have had nude photos of ANY girlfriends yeah, I don’t have any of those on my computer, but I suspect if someone had given me such things, they would still be lurking around in some dusty corner someplace. The fact that he “still” has these   files means NOTHING.
    Now, if my partner became aware of old contacts or photos and asked me to destroy them because it made them uncomfortable, yes, I probably would do (and have done) that, depending on how important they were to me. It would also spawn a discussion about how we can work together to help my partner   feel secure and what my needs are. For instance there are some friendships I have with exes that I value far too much to ever end and I would rather my new partner know that boundary sooner rather than later. A blanket assumption that I am going to go through everything I own and purge all traces of old relationships whenever I enter a new one is absurd from where I sit.
    Yes, Selena, his ‘reason’ for keeping phone numbers is almost certainly a   lie (heck, you can just set up block lists if it really is a problem for him if they call) and that he feels a need to lie speaks to unhealth of their relationship. That doesn’t change that your views of digital file management are at an extreme end of the spectrum of what most people do.

  4. 44

    I don’t mean to suggest anything Evan. I only used the little black book reference because you jumped to the conclusion that I jumped to the conclusion the OP’s fiance was cheating. I didn’t, but some of your other commenters have.

  5. 45

    @ David #51
    “That doesn’t change that your views of digital file management are at an extreme end of the spectrum of what most people do.”
    Okay. And here I’ve been going along thinking I’m just well organized. Silly me.

  6. 46

    David T,
    you make an excellent point about your partner’s discomfort, how to help your partner feel secure with you and boundaries.   your willingness to address these issues and to even care about them tells me you are a very special man.   if you are with someone, she is very lucky.   if you aren’t, i know you will find someone who appreciates those qualities about you.

  7. 47

    i think the letter writer is asking for help. I think she senses her guy is untrustworthy.  
    Here’s what hasn’t been addressed: what does a woman do who is not sure if her man is trustworthy? Where does she go before snooping?

    1. 47.1
      Karmic Equation

      She trusts her gut.

      If she feels he’s untrustworthy, then she should break up with him.

      1) It doesn’t matter how much she loves him.

      2) It doesn’t matter if they’re engaged.

      3) It doesn’t matter if they’re married.

      4) It matters, however, if they have children. If she doesn’t trust him and they have children, she needs to have a talk with him before she seeks divorce, because, in this case, if she’s wrong (and he IS trustworthy) and she divorces him, she harms her children as much as herself.

      In the first 3 scenarios,

      A) if he’s trustworthy but she’s paranoid/insecure/needy, she does him a favor by freeing him to find someone who isn’t paranoid/insecure/needy.

      B) if he IS untrustworthy, then she’s done HERSELF a favor by getting rid of an untrustworthy guy.

      If a woman finds herself with someone she doesn’t trust, she should end the relationship, because SOMEONE with benefit from it’s end.

      If she STAYS in a relationship with a man she doesn’t trust, BOTH she and her partner will pay a high price every day to remain in that relationship. Because eventually, she’ll become either embittered or lose her self-esteem as well as time altogether if he IS untrustworthy. Or he is walking on eggshells every day catering to her neediness.

      When a woman WON’T leave a boyfriend or husband whom she doesn’t trust, she’s just trying to have her cake and eat it too.

      Her options are to either trust him until he PROVES himself untrustworthy WITHOUT her “snooping” to “know” this for a fact OR leave him.

      If she snoops first, and he IS a trustworthy guy, she’s disrespected HIM through her own paranoia, whether HE ever finds out or not.

      If she snoops first and he is NOT trustworthy, then she teaches herself that “snooping” is a “good” thing, instead of trusting her gut.

      Either way, eventually she’ll become a serial snooper instead of a confident woman who trusts her instincts.

      There is NO GOOD OUTCOME of snooping, someone always pays the price. The snooper always pays a price. The innocent boyfriend pays the next highest price.

      A woman who won’t act on her instincts that a man is untrustworthy either has trust/insecurity issues or is a coward, imo.

      A man is well rid of that woman.

      As would be any woman with a man who snoops on her rather than breaks up with her when he feels she’s untrustworthy.

      1. 47.1.1
        Karmic Equation

        Oh yeah, forgot to mention a third choice:

        She can just relax and trust him.

        If he is untrustworthy, he WILL do a LOT of something elses that will show his untrustworthiness. If a man is untrustworthy, he is untrustworthy in many circumstances, not just with cheating.

        If he is trustworthy, then she lost nothing by trusting him. In fact she gains peace of mind.

        There is no shame in trusting your boyfriend. If that boyfriend  breaches your  trust, it’s on HIM, not YOU. Dump him and move on.

  8. 48

    I don’t think he’s cheating but he may like having options. Feasible   options, not options as in Rachel Weisz is an option.   

  9. 49

    I have an ex-boyfriend who was extremely insecure. In the first few months of dating, I was hanging out at his house one evening and got up to go to the bathroom. My cell phone was on the living room table and beeped when I got a text message from an old date from 1 1/2 year ago that I didn’t even keep in touch with anymore (you know, the former flame who comes back out of the blue). My ex looked at my phone while I was out of the room and asked me “who’s [insert name]?” I was shocked that he would look at my phone. It put me a very uncomfortable position, having to justify this text from a stranger that I didn’t choose to receive – when I had done nothing wrong! But you know what? I looked guilty and that was enough to start an argument.

    Later in the relationship, we were at my house when I decided to show him old pictures from my past travel. It turns out there were a few pics of exes in their that I didn’t even remember about. I remember thinking “oops” and then he saw a picture of my ex (alone) on a motorcycle without a shirt on. He went ballistic and started complaining that he was “offended” to see my ex without a shirt. Another argument ensued and ruined our afternoon. I then decided not to “fight to be right” and throw away the damn picture.

    Oh and he was insecure about everything. He couldn’t stand to see me walk half-naked in my bedroom when the shades were up because he was paranoid people would see inside (clearly they could not, as it was daylight outside). I felt like “how dare he tell me whether it’s okay for me to walk naked in my own house??”). One day while driving, he commented on the fact that I was looking out the car window – because a fit shirtless guy just happened to be walking on the sidewalk.

    I even cancelled a lunch meeting once with a male colleague because that selfish, insecure jackass didn’t trust that the man’s intentions in inviting me to lunch were business related (although he knew mine were).

    Another ex would get upset when I would spend too much time working with male colleagues and would often say “it’s not her that I don’t trust, it’s men”.

    All that to say that after these two miserable relationships, I swore I would never date an insecure, jealous or possessive man ever again. I firmly believe in Evan’s motto – it’s ALL trust or NO trust. Thankfully, my current boyfriend and I are on the same page on that. I would never look at his phone, computer, PDA or other personal belongings, and it has never occured to him to look at mine. To me, THAT’S RESPECT, not the absence of ex photos on the computer. I want to tell Sasha and other women who refer to respect on this blog, that I have never felt so disrespected when I was on the receiving end of snooping and jealousy. And I disrespected myself by continuing a relationship with an insecure man who didn’t trust me.

    Like Evan, I do have love letters, photos of exes and one ex’s phone number of my iphone (because we work in the same field and I sometimes contact him when I need professional advice – should that worry my boyfriend? NO. I would never take him back and he’s happily married with a kid now). Honestly, none of that matters. My boyfriend doesn’t need to know every little detail of my past and every person I talk to on a daily basis. So Sasha and the ones who agree with her, ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your SO looked at your computer or your phone, where you keep the most intimate details of your life? Honestly, there is nothing more offensive and insulting that someone accusing me (either implicitly or explicitly) of being unfaithful or uncommitted to my relationship, and I’m so glad I don’t have to deal – on a personal level – with the kind of drama that is reflected by some of the comments.

    1. 49.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Thanks, Alexandra. I look forward to all of my dissenters ripping you apart for being so selfish and insensitive to your boyfriend’s needs. Or is it different when it’s a woman with photos of her ex?

  10. 50

    I’ve been a lurker for a while but thought to chime in.   Aside from lying/not lying, my main gripe is why anyone would feel a need to ask others how many lovers anyone has had.   I’ve never had a man I was dating ask me how many I’ve had and I never asked them either.   I’ve had female friends ask.   They are the type of people I had to stop being friends with due to poor  boundaries  and twisting things.   The past is the past.   The less you know the better and people have the right to divulge as they see fit.

  11. 51

    I agree that it doesn’t matter if he has slept with 10 or 100 other women in the past.   I cared only that he was clean and I didn’t give a shit how many girlfriends my current partner has had, and he’s never asked me my history, either.   What matters is that both of us fully understand that there are consequences for disrespectful and untrustworthy behavior– behavior that includes not only being shady about exes, but also snooping, asking around for dirt, and/or laying ambushes and other high school bullshit like that.   The main consequence would be exercising the right to walk and not look back.   There’s no playing chicken.   Even after 2 years.  
    I also agree that Evelyn needs to think carefully about before pulling the trigger with this guy.  
    I think even if there is a legitimate problem with him, she would make better progress coming at this problem with the goal of understanding her fiance’s decisions and his point of view and asking him for his cooperation, instead of trying to corner and pry something out of him with ill-gotten and inconclusive evidence.   I think this is generally how most people would prefer to be approached when someone has a problem with their behavior.   Tackling it this way may also allow her to get to the heart of why the trust is shaky and why she herself seems to have resorted to untrustworthy behavior in response to his actions.   Unless she is afraid of him, I agree with others who have pointed out that no, Evelyn is not generally cool with things if she feels snooping is an appropriate way to handle a problem with trust.   No wonder the fiance is not forthcoming, or at least forthcoming in a way that satisfies her.   But if he doesn’t warm up to cooperating when she comes from the angle of understanding him better, then it’s probably time to at least put the wedding plans on hold.  
    Final thought– beware of being someone your loved ones believe they can never please.   Experience has taught me what it is like being on the receiving end of someone who does not trust you no matter what you say or do.   Exhausting does not even begin to cover it.    

  12. 52

    Everyone has a past and has photographic, written, etc. evidence of that past. Not once have I suggested that THAT is out of line or unreasonable. I have not suggested that keeping computer files (even with nude exes [GASP!]) is disrespectful. Keeping that stuff readily at hand even if you do not look at if every day MAY hurt your partner and that is something EMK can’t seem to entertain. That’s not insightful or useful at all.
    Real engaged men DO NOT swap pics of naked women.
    Real engaged men DO NOT CARRY AROUND pics of semi-nude/nude exes on their phones.
    Sorry, piss isn’t ginger ale. If you behave in a shady manner, you may get a response in which someone doesn’t trust you. Thou doth protest so much! The OPs fiance’ is behaving in a very shady manner.
    Alexandra, your BF WAS unbelievably insecure. But he was your BF. Not your fiance’. Not your husband. We all need our privacy and private places. If my fiance’ picked up my phone or opened my laptop, I wouldn’t almost pass out because there is something on there I wouldn’t want him to see, or would hurt his feelings. I try my darnedest to behave and do things that would not put his trust or love for me at risk, or hurt him. Period. I also try to look at things from his perspective. Guess I’m old fashioned.
    Real engaged men CAN do some self-reflection and ask themselves why they engage in particular behaviors and how this may affect their partner.
    Real engaged men DO employ empathy and can look beyond their penises and egos.
    EMK, throwing out your numbers isn’t impressive. People are getting your opinion and other people disagree. Advising desperate wo/men to accept something that sticks like a knife in their gut just to get married…That’s settling and setting yourself up for heartache.
    I am so glad I am NOT like the majority of “evolved” young women these days who will swallow what the media and “men” of this generation tell them is acceptable: “that’s how men are,” and they are insecure or old-fashioned.
    On a marriage forum, this very topic was raised and 90% of those MEN thought what the guy did was wrong. Everyone has pics and a past. But, some things are just not right within a relationship for that couple, or one person in that couple. Period. So, REAL men get it and realize that a real relationship isn’t just about you, your ego or your penis.
    OP, you should have talked to him and communicated reasonably about how it made you feel. If he can’t do something that simple -talk to you- then, you’re sunk and won’t admit it. If it’s a stone in your stomach now, it will be a boulder by the time you walk down the aisle.
    To each his own. If it works for YOU, great! But, it has to work for both of you. Compromise, boundaries, listening, empathy, trust, respect is what makes a solid relationship. Love isn’t enough. Settling for something that hurts you just to get a partner is a plan for disaster. Have some dignity. If you know you can do better, than do better. Good luck, OP.

  13. 53
    Karl R

    Sparkling Emerald asked: (#34)
    “Karl R #22 – I agree that it’s no one’s business.   Do you feel the same standard applies to women?”
    Of course. I’ve never asked a woman how many partners she’s had. A few volunteered enough information that I could take an educated guess (including the aforementioned virgin).
    My wife and I both got tested for STIs (after we’d been dating for months). That was the information that we needed to know.
    Sasha said: (#32)
    “@Karl R: How shockingly desperate are you to have your candle waxed?”
    What an appallingly crude thing to say.
    That woman was one of the most amazing women I ever dated. If we hadn’t disagreed on a dealbreaker issue (whether to have kids), we might have gotten married. There was certainly some potential risk in pursuing a serious relationship (and I investigated that risk), but I felt she was worth a fair amount of risk.
    amydk asked: (#55)
    “what does a woman do who is not sure if her man is trustworthy? Where does she go before snooping?”
    You should never go snooping. Snooping puts you in the wrong (even if your partner was in the wrong first).
    You will never be sure that your significant other is trustworthy. Trust him/her until he/she proves you wrong.
    However, there are times when you may develop the feeling that your significant other is not being trustworthy. Don’t snoop. Instead, address the concrete behavior that is making you suspicious. If you’re suspicious because your boyfriend seems emotionally distant, bring the emotional distance up with him directly.
    Goldie said: (#47)
    “can we maybe all agree that the guy in the letter has exhibited some really scumbag behavior, because HOLY CRAP, WHO FORWARDS OTHER PEOPLE’S NUDIE PICTURES TO FRIENDS?”
    I’d say it’s likely that he’s a scumbag, but not guaranteed. That incident (in particular) jumped out at me, because it’s unlikely that he had the ex’s permission (implicit or explicit) to forward the picture to someone else.
    However, there’s a woman whom I had a fling with who wouldn’t mind if provocative pictures of her were circulated randomly. Since the ex-fling from the OP sent a provocative photo to someone who was engaged, she clearly has a moral/ethical compass that’s different than mine.
    Alexandra, (#57)
    I   would recommend against catering to someone’s insecurities like that in the future. You should have broken up with your ex-boyfriend as soon as he demonstrated that he was insecure and jealous. If you have integrity, you can find someone else who has integrity who won’t question your every action.
    Similarly, I would recommend that men break up with women who display the same attitudes/tendencies (like Evelyn and Sasha). If a man has integrity, he can find a woman with integrity who won’t question his every action.

  14. 54

    EMK #58
    “Or is it different when it’s a woman with photos of her ex?”
    Flipping the genders in these situations is a game I like to play. What if the OP was a guy writing about his fiance, whom he discovered has many nude and semi-nude photos of her ex-boyfriends on her computer, as well as many phone numbers of ex-boyfriends (so she can know who they are in case they call)? A few months ago, one of her exes emailed her a provocative photo which she then forwarded on to a girlfriend because she was amused that he still wasn’t over her, even after she hadn’t seen him in over two years. And she tells different stories about her past relationships. Not conclusive evidence of cheating by itself, and it still doesn’t excuse snooping, but at the very least, I think a lot of men wouldn’t like finding nude photos of other men on their fiance’s computer.

  15. 55

    @KarlR (#62): Where have Evelyn or I suggested we question “every action”? I guess it is smart for “men” to stay away from women who don’t buy lines of lies. Desperation is a stench that doesn’t wear well. Neither is talking yourself into believing someone has integrity when his actions clearly convey he doesn’t. Wow.

  16. 56
    Karmic Equation


    Real SECURE / NON-jealous women don’t go snooping in their BF’s or fiance’s stuff.

    Real SECURE women address the issue or simply walk away if they don’t feel the other party will come clean. They don’t hang around demanding explanations so that they can be “right.” Real women know that being right is a pyrrhic victory when a relationship is at stake.

    Real SECURE women will NOT contemplate marrying someone they don’t trust. Sensible women wouldn’t consider such a guy their “soul mate.”

    The OP is obviously jealous, insecure, and not sensible. She shouldn’t be in ANY kind of relationship until she addresses those issues. Otherwise, it will be the same shit different guy.

    Any real woman dating a REAL man who had options will recognize those options helped him become who he is today as a man, human being, lover. You don’t have to like his past. But if you love him, you accept that he has one, and respect that his past helped form his present, good and bad. All you can hope for is that YOUR love and goodness will inspire him to be a better man.

    Sad to say, I fail to see how Evelyn’s behavior inspires anything positive in her man. The proof is in the pudding.

  17. 57

    Sasha @61,
    Whats up with that phrase you keep using “real engaged men…”? The only thing that should follow the phrase “real engaged men” should be “pee standing up”. Anything else after that is just silly.

  18. 58

    @ Alexandra #57
    Thank you for relating your story.   I think that it illustrates jealousy and how mistrusting someone can corrode a relationship from the inside.   When I was reading what you wrote I realized I have quite a lot of things on my   computer that are from men in my past some just friends some more than friends.   These are things I wouldn’t want to delete any more than I would want to delete those parts of my past.
    @ DT #59
    “…people have the right to divulge as they see fit.”
    I agree!!!
    @ Ruby #63
    “I think a lot of men wouldn’t like finding photos of other men on their fiance’s computer.”
    I think that the point being made is that they (men or women) shouldn’t be snooping.

  19. 59

    @ Karmic Equation
    I have to admit I was looking forward to having you jump in.   May I say you do not disappoint!   Most excellent post!!
    @ John # 66

  20. 60

    @Lia #67
    No one on this thread has said that she should be snooping. She can’t unsee what she’s already seen though as marymary pointed out way up in #4.

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