(Video) The James Bond Effect – Lust is a Drug

You want a guy who is tall, successful, charismatic, worldly, independent, and sexy. You’ve dated him before. He’s broken your heart, time and again. Why do you always go back for more? Because you can’t help yourself. You’re on the most common drug known to mankind – lust.

You’d best kick the habit if you want to find a healthy relationship with long-term partner. (and, before the comments start – I don’t mean you SHOULDN’T have chemistry; I mean that you shouldn’t let chemistry blind you to the fact that you’re being treated like crap!)


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  1. 1
    Dan | Ask Dan & Jennifer

    <blockquote>”I don’t mean you SHOULDN’T have chemistry; I mean that you shouldn’t let chemistry blind you to the fact that you’re being treated like crap!”</blockquote>
    Well said! chemistry is wonderful and amazing, but you MUST have both parts of the relationship if it’s going to work and actually bring you joy long term (even short term, lol)
    Have an awesome day!

  2. 2

    I guess the fact that Jake is short is what makes our relationship work, because I think he is all the other things!

  3. 3

    You are so on the money with this one. Will men ever figure this one out is the question? I use this example a lot when I talk with my friends.


  4. 4
    Karl R

    Carol asked: (#3)
    “Will men ever figure this one out is the question?”

    Why does that matter?

    If a man (or woman) is pursuing all the worst people, the only person he’s hurting is himself. Furthermore, the guy isn’t going to be great boyfriend material until he wises up.

    Now if I’m the one who’s blindly pursuing lust, then I’m the one who gets to reap all the associated misery. I have incentive to kick that habit. I don’t have any incentive to worry about all the misery other men and women are creating for themselves.

  5. 5

    Ahh chemistry, it’s been my downfall in many of my relationships especially my most recent.

    I like how you refer to chemistry as a drug. I never thought of it that way and when I do, it actually makes sense to me on why I have stayed in relationships that were not going anymore only because I thought the so-called chemistry was so strong.

  6. 6
    Anette C

    Oh yeah this is true. I realized that falling “for” some-one actually takes time, and it surprises you when it happens with a guy that seemed to have nothing “typical” going for him that you would normally Luuuuurve(chemistry)…but he just got you. A person really can get you…it’s astounding and delightful.

    There is a terribly evil part of me however, that wants those that use their chemistry(either male or female) to suffer a bit. I’m not talking about normal chemistry that we sometimes feel, I’m talking about those that KNOW they have it. I don’t like that they USE what they have(which they know works with members of the opposite sex) to get what they want and make us all feel like used shmucks. It’s this burgeoning disgust at their sometimes selfish nature, that has finally broken through my lust shield. I see it for what it is.

    Chemistry is more than just what I’ve said, but there are these kinds of people and they really don’t seem all that great to me now 😀

  7. 7

    Very interesting post Evan but it will surely fall on deaf ears …why? because given the choice between a James bond type of guy who is in demand vs a nice, simple and caring husband (i.e. boring!), women will usually chose to sleep with the first and keep the latter until much later when they feel that their own options are running out.
    women love men who are loved by women, they want a man with options. Do you honestly believe that young and attractive women will take your advice and start dating “logically” ?
    most young women confuse infatuation with love, but why should I complain, I’m out there taking “advantage” of it 😉

  8. 8

    I finally learned… I had wonderful chemistry with a guy who I felt I just could not live without. It turns out that I could. At first, he was like a drug to me. I didn’t get to see him very often, but when I did I was on a high. He was charismatic and funny, but he was also selfish, self centered and the world revolved around him. In regards to the man I am dating now — maybe that intense chemistry is not there, but he is my best friend and he can definitely stoke the fire. Your right Evan, the world is not going to end if you walk away. I am now “drug” free and feeling fine.

  9. 9

    Perhaps I am splitting hairs on this issue, but I do not think that lust and chemistry are the same thing. I believe you can have chemistry with a person and not have lust. I think people are chasing the high, which to me is infatuation. The brain controlled chemical high that we experience during such moments was designed for a purpose; that purpose being to reproduce.

    Lust, whether thought of as an overly excessive, compulsory sexual drive or lust for power, money, etc. has the potential to destroy everything a person holds dear and leave them an empty shell of a human being.

  10. 10

    Really enjoyed this video. Lust and chemistry eminate from the Reptilian behaviour which governs fight or flight syndrome, survival, getting enough to eat and the human sex drive. So everyone needs to keep that inner lizard in control!

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