How To Worship A Woman Without Freaking Her Out


Writer, teacher and public speaker Arjuna Ardagh wrote an article for Huffington Post a couple of years ago that stuck with me. (Ardagh was behind the much-talked-about video I featured in this blog post.)

In it, he wrote:

I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.

On this point, I agree with him entirely. I was perfectly content and self-sufficient before I got married. Now, my world would be shattered if she were gone. There is a healthy co-dependence that comes from building something that’s bigger than either of you and depends on the both of you for its very existence. When you’re in someone’s corner completely and you feel 100% safe, life is as beautiful as can possibly be. This is what I wish for you, if you wish it for yourself.

The author, however, is not content with mutual respect, laughter, and trust. He’s big on “worship”. That’s where he loses me. Particularly this paragraph, which should make every man shudder or laugh:

“Do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called “Beatrix” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you’re single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you’re already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way.”

I’m all about communication and depth; but a shrine? Really? For every woman that will feel honored by your respect for her goddessness, there will be 10 who are completely creeped out by you.

Want to be a good partner, guys? Watch your kid while she goes on a girls’ night out. Plan a romantic staycation with a spa treatment. Call her to tell her you love her while you’re away on business. I did all these things in the past week and my relationship is both deep and strong – without having to build myself a vagina-shaped fireplace that uses Georgia O’Keefe prints as kindling.

Read the full article here and let me know what you think. Is respect enough? Or do you prefer “worship”? And if you’re a goddess, does that make him a god? And does that mean he gets his own penis shrine, as well?

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  1. 21

    Just a quick point to those folks who claim that they were “creeped out” by the alter that Arjuna built to the Divine Feminine / Goddess. I think you are only “creeped out” due to the narrow perspective that we are all raised with because we are virtually never taught abut the Goddess let alone the power that comes from worshiping her & honoring our sisters – among whom the ones who have the highest vibration are in fact living representations of the Goddess. What Arjuna did in building his alter / shrine to the Goddess was simply in line with the spiritual practice of honoring the Goddess. In other parts of the world people practice what is called Tantra Goddess Worship – to honor & be in devoted fellowship with the Goddess – which involves worshiping the lower extremities of the Goddess which ones tends to do in physical form with their female partner. Though you can do this in thought as well. This by the way is the true reason why a lot of people like to engage in “foot worship” with their female partners as it represents the yearning “to return to an original & authentic spirituality which in archeological terms was Goddess worship” to quote a sacred sister & author named Sophie Kirkwood from her insightful article: The Spiritual Significance of the Female Foot and Man’s Obsession With Them. Author Tom DeLiso notes that the sole chakra at the base of the foot draws up divine energy from the Earth & sends back one’s own used soul energy to the ground [ notice soul & sole sound the same! ] Reflexologist & Doctor Laurence Wilson notes that you can send healing energy into someone when holding their foot. I have personally found that when I humble myself at the bare lower extremities of females or even just in front of an image of bare female soles & do it with praise in my heart for the Goddess & honor her with praises & thankfulness for her & the many blessings that she graciously bestows that I can achieve quite a blissful state of being with a strong feeling of fellowship with her which manifests as a sense of reunification with her. Honoring our sisters through what is loosely and obtusely referred to as “foot worship” is often suppressed and marginalized because it honors the divine feminine and raises the vibration of the planet.      

  2. 22
    Rabbi Allen Maller

    Tens of millions of people in Asia have a small alter in their homes for ancestor worship so to them this is not so strange or creepy. Also you would agree that if one partner wants to worship God and the other is an atheist they both do not have to believe, or do, the same thing. In my book God, Sex and Kabbalah I have a chapter that relates to sacred sexuality.

  3. 23
    Rabbi Allen Maller

    The following is an article I write that was published online in the Times of Israel 1/15/16

    Many husbands love themselves more than they love their wives. Would you rather be married to a person who loves his mate more than himself; or less than he loves himself? The Jewish ideal is that each partner’s love for the other partner is greater than his or her self love.

    The Torah teaches this lesson in the narrative about why Adam-mankind needed a partner as a help-mate by his side. God created woman from Adam’s rib. Since humans have many ribs it seems to be no big loss.

    But the word mistranslated as rib in the Septuagint actually means side (for example Ezekiel 41:5,11 or Exodus 26:26,27,35). God took a side from Adam and built a woman (who is well built to this day).

    Built seems to be a strange term to use, but the Hebrew word for side appears mostly in the context of building. A wall with only one side cannot exist. A one sided building cannot stand.

    Thus the Torah concludes, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Two sides become one whole. Two sides can stand together.

    The woman God built is described as an “ezer kenegdo”- a helper corresponding to or equal to him i.e. a life-partner or a team-mate. Psychologically perhaps she is the ‘inside’ and he is the ‘outside’.

    This would symbolize an important difference. Good partners bring different abilities and talents together. Thus, as partners, one plus one is greater than two. Even a skeptic like Kohellet declares, “If two lie side by side, they keep each other warm; but how can one keep warm alone? ” (Ecclesiastes 4:11)

    This is why God says, “ It is not good for a male to dwell alone. I will provide a partner for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

    In the following midrash (a rabbinic expansion of a Torah teaching) God creates a partner for Adam-mankind as a help-mate by his side.

    At first, Adam was all alone. He didn’t have parents and he didn’t have children. He did not even have a brother, a sister or a friend to talk to. Adam was lonely, and he was unhappy.

    God said to Adam, “It is not good for you to be alone.[Genesis 2:18] But now you are free to do whatever you want to do. When you are alone you don’t have to share things with others. You don’t have to stop talking and just listen when someone else needs to talk to you.

    You don’t have to help when others need help. You don’t have to care about how someone else feels. If you had a sister or a brother or a good friend, you would have to do all these things and many more.”

    “I don’t like being lonely” said Adam, “ I have lots of things for fun and games; but I get bored with them after a while. I have several pet animals, but even having animals is not good enough for me. I still feel lonely and all alone.

    I need someone who is like me but at the same time is different. I need a partner. Someone to stand by my side and be my best friend. I need someone I can take care of, and who will care for me.”

    “I know just what you need.” said God, “What you need is a help mate. A person with a different personality, who can grow together with you in love, and help you become a responsible, kind and loving human being. I am going to form her right out of your side, so she will stand side by side with you as your equal partner, your help mate.[Genesis 2:21-23]

    The two of you will be like one pair of hands. You know, one hand cannot wash itself. But two hands can always wash each other. You will have to be responsible for and to each other. You will no longer be independent. You will not be free to do whatever you want anymore.

    You will have to think about another person’s feelings. You will have to listen to what she tells you. You will have to think less about your self and more about another. I will give you a blessing to help you become a couple.”

    God looked down and saw that Adam had fallen into a deep sleep. God hoped that when Adam awoke he would remember all that God had told him. Even if Adam and all his descendants didn’t always become the loving responsible help mates that God wanted them to be, God thought they would become better by trying.

    And those who were fully responsible partners and help mates would become God’s blessing foreach other. Then the sons of Adam would realize that the daughters of Eve were gifts from God.


  4. 24

    Oh come on women are to be worshiped. I love women; their bodies; their smell and even their temper. It is the way it should be.

  5. 25
    Concerned Fellow Man

    Being raised among some of the worst simps, mangina’s and cucks across the nation there’s one thing I learned about women; if they haven’t shown you respect then give them no attention at all. I don’t mean a Hi, them remembering your name or otherwise I mean acknowledging your presence and responding in a respectable manner. Anytime this doesn’t happen then abandoning her until there’s an apology or a change in the approach she gives to you is in respectable standards is a must. women who understand this rule get every type of quality guy they might not have even dreamed of even if she’s not at his physical attraction level. Any real man knows that this is what women look for in a man because at their core they need manipulation to feel security. If you allow disrespect then she will not feel secure and will abandon you to save you from further embarrassment. A shrine is the ultimate sign of disrespect because not only does it prove weakness but it shows you’re not gonna be a real man when she needs you to be.

  6. 26
    Michael Anasakta

    What causes upset is the two diametrically opposed views. He who loves the woman as a manifestation of the Divine, and  seh who sees herself as only a body/mind complex.This is simply a mismatch of deep spiritual/philosophical views.

    What would creep me out is the woman whose only concept is of herself is as a body/mind complex that was born and will die. But of course, she is simply an non-thinking follower of the material worldview all too common today.

  7. 27

    LOL. So much triggered articles about gender or sex about Deity. Does it really matter who or what is considered Ruler or God or Creator as long as it ‘works’? Alien or whatever. And worship of gods or goddesses outside bedroom or women or men inside bedroom does not transform someone from Alpha to Beta or Beta to Alpha. Logic and Common Sense that people have Free will to choose paths in life(apart from manipulation that is). What is this obsession to control what others do anyway yet not obsessing what peeping Tom’s do themselves.

  8. 28

    Worship is very appropriate if there is a strong polarity.

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