I know you think you’re probably a great communicator. Think again. Most women are either sabotaged by oversharing your thoughts, not fully accepting your man for who he is, or by pressuring him to be someone he’s not. If you’ve done any of these things, my posts on communication are for you.
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It’s an easy angle. After all, men DO say they want “no drama” relationships three times more than women. And, obviously, there is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship where two people agree all the time. So isn’t the author “right” about men and their foolish fantasies.
In this case, the consequence is that people conduct entire relationships via text – and, objectively – text is not the best way to conduct a relationship. The easiest, maybe. The laziest, for sure? But I don’t know a single important conversation that ever went BETTER because it was being conducted by text.
Listen, I’m sure there are some honorable dissenters who think that all teasing is inherently cruel, who believe that to make fun of someone is punching down, and that moral, sensitive people would never even make the justifications I’m making.
After 300 dates in New York and Los Angeles between the ages of 25-34, I’ve now been with my wife for twelve years. Our relationship pre-dates dating apps, pre-dates social media, and pretty much pre-dates texting as a primary form of communication.
All too often, I’d rather talk than listen. Especially when the salient points are buried deeply in a stream of unnecessary detail. This is never more manifest than within my marriage
It’s not whether you will disagree; it’s what you do about it afterward. Listening, validating, not attacking, looking for points of agreement, assuming the best intentions: these are the hallmarks of healthy communication and successful relationships.
David Brooks is a modern-day philosopher masquerading as a newspaper columnist. I may not agree with every word he writes (he’s still a Republican, I think) but he’s a moderate…
You go out with a guy on Friday. You’re bored stiff. He calls you the next day to say he had a blast and can’t wait to see you again. You determine he’s a needy stalker.
It’s generally not my style to link to other advice columnists, but my friend, Lori Gottlieb, author of the new book,”Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” does such an incredible job that it feels like a dereliction of duty to keep her to myself.
I am a 25-year old woman living in North Carolina. I’ve been with my loving, consistent boyfriend (also 25) for a year now and I’ve been impressed with how easy and natural the relationship is. We live separately but see each other at least 2-3x/week and have keys to each other’s places.
"9 months and 14 first dates later, I met the man of my dreams! Love is not a big enough word for how we feel!"
It's only been 106 days, Evan, but they have been the BEST 106 days of my life! Thank you for leading me in the right direction, giving me the confidence to believe in myself and helping me find the love I deserve.
"Working with Evan has helped me to really value myself and to be myself when I am dating. This is priceless."
Look, I can say I feel more confident than ever before but it’s more than that. Working with Evan has helped me to really value myself and to be myself when I am dating. This is priceless. It’s not perfect but I have come a thousand miles from where I was and feel so lucky.
“You opened my eyes to the fact that my boyfriend left because he didn’t love me unconditionally.”
I am in such a better place today because of your insights and inspirational guidance. I was so stuck on getting him back, but now I realize that I don’t want him back! I deserve someone who will love me unconditionally, no matter what.
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