Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?

Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?

In the annals of “things that definitely don’t matter when you’re 70”, nothing is more irrelevant to marital happiness than height.

Money matters. If one partner is chronically unemployed or in debt, relations can get strained.

Intelligence matters. If your partner can’t understand what you’re talking about or lacks the maturity to try, he’s a waste of time.

Weight matters. If someone is morbidly obese, he’s probably not making it to age 70.

(By the way, ladies, this does NOT mean he has to be taller, smarter or fitter than you. He just can’t be poor, stupid and fat. Got it?)

Nothing is more irrelevant to marital happiness than height.

But one thing that I’ve never really gotten – after 10 years as a dating coach – was women’s obsession with height. And it’s not a myth. It’s real. An article on Jezebel discusses a report from the Atlantic that illustrates that the average height differential between 4600 married American couples was six inches and that the wife was taller in 3.8% of couples. However, “when the author randomized the information as well to see what would come up by chance, he found something surprising: left to chance, the wives were taller in 7.8 percent of couples— twice as many as before. Meaning, people are choosing to maintain this six inches of difference by going out of their way to pair up according to this distinction.”

This is a rigid and arbitrary preference – most noteworthy, to me, in short and tall women.

With short women, EVERYBODY’s taller. So, if you’re 5’1″, what difference does it make if he’s 5’7″ or 6’1″? Yet some short women discriminate against average sized (5’7-5’11”) men.

On the other hand, with tall women, since only 15% of men are over 6 feet tall, it would stand to reason that a 5’11” woman would be well served to open up to shorter men, instead of insisting that he has to be 6’3′, because that’s how tall she is in heels. There simply aren’t enough 6’3″ men to go around, and if you restrict yourself to them, you’re killing your chances of finding love – for pretty much no reason.

It would be like a male millionaire holding out for a female millionaire who makes more than he does. Is it possible? Yes. Likely? No. Necessary? Definitely not.

The author of the Jezebel piece is 5’11” and had a very healthy and refreshing take on height:

I never felt I was making some kind of concession by dating men shorter than me — I just dated people I was attracted to. But since most men are shorter than I am, had I eliminated them on the basis of shortness, I’d have been sitting out all those dances I never actually went to. In order to find a guy six inches taller, I’d have to find a guy who was 6’5.

She ended up marrying a guy a few inches shorter than her. Good for her.

And if this bugs you and you think you should be holding out for a tall guy, that’s your business. Just keep in mind that your current height criteria cuts your potential mates drastically – and that’s before we talk about age, ethnicity, education, income, personality, religion, emotional intelligence, values, kindness, consistency, attraction to you and desire to be married. He’s gotta have all of those things, plus be in the 15% of men who are six feet tall? Good luck with that.

Please read the article here and share your thoughts below.

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  1. 121

    I think what society really needs is for Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to get back together.  That’ll make everyone feel much better about the taller woman/shorter guy thing.

  2. 122

    [email protected]: Except for Nicole herself. She’s said that the best thing about her divorce from Cruise is that now she can wear heels.

  3. 123

    @Sue, Katie Holmes is about as tall as Nicole Kidman, and Nicole Kidman’s current husband is actually a good bit shorter than her (although not as short at Tom Cruise).  So I think the heels comment pre-dated her marriage to Keith Urban.
    A lot of celebrity women have shorter husbands and boyfriends.  Tina Fey isn’t a tall woman but her husband is much, much shorter than her.  
    So it’s not as if no one sees men with much taller wives who are also in the public eye.

  4. 124

    I’m 5 feet tall. I PREFER short guys. Who wants to talk to somebody’s belt buckle anyway?  😉

  5. 125
    Sparkling Emerald

    Hi Short Girl
        I’m not as short as you, I think I’m actually just a half inch shy of the average for women (I am 5′ 3 1/2″)  I am getting just a tad irritated on the pressure being put on the taller women to go for the shorter men.  HEY, then they would be cutting in on my territory.  It seems that most of the men that go for me are about 5’6″ to 5’7″.  If the tall leggy supermodels started going out with them, who would be left for me ? 🙂
      Also, today at one of my meet-ups, I was talking with some of the girls and said there was a debate on weather or not women should go for shorter men.  After everyone left, and I was helping the event hostess clean up, she shared with me that one of her husbands was shorter than her, and she would NEVER do that again, because he resented her being taller than he was.  So in her case, she was open to his shorter stature, and he ended up having an issue with it.  Go figure .

  6. 126

    I mentioned this on the other “shorter guy” thread.  I am 5’4 and the one who seems to be making the most effort and taking the most interest is 5’6.  Obviously I don’t want to get too invested too soon but early indications are height will be no barrier to attraction for me 🙂

  7. 127

    I’ve always had a bit of a height thing, coming from a family where not one of the men is under 6 foot tall.
    When my marriage ended and I made the foray into dating, of course I was naturally drawn to tallker men – even though my husband was only 3 or 4 inches taller than me.
    So when I met my now partner, one of my big issues was that (at only a couple of inches taller) I would probably not be wearing high heels around him.  I was really REALLY self conscious about it.  He kept saying he didn’t care, I threw out all my high heels.  Until I found a pair of black patent leather boots with 3 inch heels that I just HAD to have. I loved them, he loved them.  I’ve since bought 3 more pairs of high heeled shoes, and realised, actually it doesn’t matter.  It really doesn’t.
    I guess that’s part of growing up.

  8. 128

    Well said! I’m constantly challenging my female clients (dating agency) about this. The reasons that they state for wanting a tall man range from the men in my family are tall, to I won’t feel loved and protected when he is hugging me! And how does this play a major role in comparability! The way that I see it is that why would you want to restrict yourself to a pond when there is a sea out there. Finding a partner is challenging at the best of times, why would you create more obstacles that really don’t play a significant role when it comes down to being in a loving and healthy relationship.

  9. 129

    @ Sparkling Emerald #125
    I dated a guy who was 5’ 10” (I am 5’5 1/2”), he had issues with my height because his ex-wife was 4’10”.  Then I dated a guy who was 5’9” and I ALWAYS wore heels when I went out with him and he LOVED it.  So it depends on the guy.  
    I do “window shopping on Match.  (Which means I skulk about with a hidden profile.)  I have seen men 6’2” and 6’3” who have a top height for women around 5’8” or 5’9” – that is as tall as they are willing to date (Please note that these men are in a minority.)  I see that and I think “p*ssy”.  Do they really have to have that much of a height difference to feel like a man? 
    I prefer men under 6’.  I would date taller of course but I generally like the body proportions of men under 6’.  How ever if they have issues about MY height it is a turn off. 
    @ Starthrower68 # 126
    You go girl!!
    @ Susan #127
    🙂  I agree it doesn’t matter.  I like men who are confident with women who are taller (with heels or without).
    @ AS #128

  10. 130

    I’m dating someone now, but if I put my profile back up again, I’m going to add to it, “I’m 5′ 9.5″ tall, but by the time I put my heels on I’m over 6′, so you’d better be tall!” 😀

  11. 131

    @  Lia,  I think it’s going the way of the hjntity .  C’est la vie.  What can ya do?

  12. 132

    @ Starthrower68
    What can you do?  Say, “next!!” and don’t take it personally.  🙂

  13. 133

    I prefer men that are 6 feet. I find I am less attracted to men that are say 5″8. I am 5″6. I feel it’s an attraction thing. If I seem to find myself more attractive to taller men, why should I change my preference? I find men my height aren’t as attractive to me. When I do online dating, I don’t discriminate based on height because I am looking for personality more then just pure physicality, but height is a factor in the chemistry department.
    I think it’s biological. I feel more protected by a taller man. Men my height don’t really do it for me.
    At least for me, it’s not my main criteria but it is a part of the chemistry component and there is nothing wrong with knowing what you like and are attracted to.

  14. 134
    Revo Luzione

    I said it before, I’ll say it again:
    Shorter men should work diligently on improving their posture, but also don’t be afraid of wearing heel lifts. Women do it, men in show business do it all the time.
    It’s simply another tool that helps level the playing field. Shoe lifts are nothing different than women’s use of makeup or high heels.
    Also, people have a hard time judging height. Some of people’s perception of height comes from a man’s attitude, style of movment and the way he carries himself. It’s about having physical presence. Men should learn to move with confidence, take up space, and cultivate a sense of feeling ‘big’, like you are projecting your energy throughout any room you happen to be in.  This is really a form of self hypnosis, and as a roughly average height man, all of these things work well, not only in dating & relationships, but also in business as well.

    1. 134.1

      This is awful, heightist advice given to short men; it essentially tells them to capitulate to an absurd societal taboo, and brand themselves losers.

      Be yourself. Don’t be a fake, for the sake of people like Revo.

  15. 135

    I agree wholeheartedly with Revo.  I was madly in love at one time in my life with a man who was an inch shorter than me.  He had all the attributes described above. One cannot control one’s height.  But you can work to maximize your other assets. I can’t speak for other women, but I like being with a man who is take charge without being bossy, and who knows how to get things done. My ex-husband was the antithesis of that.  I had to make all of the tough decisions, and I don’t want to be in a relationship like that again.  He was a bit too beta.
    The same goes for women.  I have seen ladies who have hook noses and are otherwise plain end up with great men. These women have a positive attitude, are engaged with life, and are not defined by their beauty.
    Age is the only thing I find tough to overcome as a woman.  It’s hard when you really want to date a man your own age, but the few men who are in decent shape and have their act together want to date 10-20 years younger. I don’t want to be a cougar, and men 60+ already have too many health problems. Of course, I wouldn’t mind seeing a man through illness if I at least had some good years with him before I become the nurse.
    Then again, like the short men, I have to maximize my assets no matter what my age. Age and height are two things beyond our control.

  16. 136

    There’s a point in every woman’s life (late 30s, early 40s) where she suddenly becomes invisible to many younger men. It just happens one day. A cute guy who might have “checked you out” or make eye contact just passes you by like you’re wearing a cloak of invisibility. Congratulations, you’ve entered middle age.   That’s life. It doesn’t really matter how attractive you are, either. You’ve aged out of a certain demographic. Not to be depressing. I really can’t believe how acceptable it is for a woman to say “I must be with a tall man. Because I’m too insecure about how I look, standing next to a man. I’m worried what people will think, since society has this arbitrary notion that a man must be taller than a woman. Because my happiness in life is contingent on whether or not we look good to people.”

  17. 137

    I ran across this today on Plenty Of Fish from a gigantic woman all of 5’3″ tall.
    I quote “Physically, I prefer taller men (5’11” or taller). Sorry, it’s just one of those things”
    This is a woman that even though I’m no expert I can tell she has fake boobs that are (in my opinion) too big for her body.
    I wonder how she’d feel if she read in a guys profile. “Physically, I prefer women with real breasts. Sorry, it’s just one of those things”
    Bottom line is any and everything you disqualify someone for is just 1 or many of “those things’.  There’s hundreds of “those things”. Oh well……….

    1. 137.1

      JB, WHY NOT?
      The guy has a total right to say: “my preference is real breasts and really prefer a voluptuous woman with some back to her.”  If a woman who has a flat bum gets offended who cares?! Let her but that shouldn’t have to “make you” like flat bums lol 

  18. 138

    I like shorter guys. Less stiff necks, lol. Both men and women are going to have their preferences, but no one is perfect, and we all deserve a chance 🙂

  19. 139

    @ JB, if, back in my online dating days, I saw something like that on a guy’s profile (“physically, I prefer (big boobs, blue eyes, size 6, what have you), sorry it’s just one of those things”), I’d skip to the next profile, because this guy’s fixation on random physical attributes already tells me we won’t be a good match, even if I happen to meet his specs. Too shallow. Next!
    PS (catty mode on) I thought Snooki had just had a baby? What’s she doing on POF? (catty mode off)

  20. 140

    To all the posters getting defensive about their height preferences in men:  You are missing the point of what Evan is making.  The point he is making is that if you want to continue only dating men with very specific height requirements then have at it.  As he says, you want what you want.  BUT if you find the pool of potential men to date with are severely restricted because of your height requirements then you either have to A) be more flexible with your height requirements or B) accept the fact that you could potentially miss out on meeting a perfectly decent man and/or it may take significantly longer to find this person.  But whatever you decide to do you must accept that it is your CHOICE to make that decision and you must be willing to accept the consequences of that choice.  

  21. 141

    A woman will have a lot dating options despite what her body type is, and I think that is where the argument is getting lost. Everyone is allowed to have their own dating preference, and it seems many women posting feel that having a height preference should be ok; and honestly, it should. However, what’s not being acknowledged is what happens if everyone has the same preference?
    For example, some men like blonde hair, and some men don’t. That’s a preference, that’s totally ok. I don’t like blonde hair, so if you have blonde hair I probably wouldn’t date you, but so what, you can just date my friend who is obsessed with them; but what would happen if every man did not like blonde hair, and refused to date blonde hair women? You’d have a lot of natural blondes dying their hair, and complaining about men’s unrealistic standards. You’d have a lot of natural blondes getting upset just like short men.
    Many women simply don’t understand because there is no singular body type a woman can have that automatically rules her out of the dating market. You can be big, fat, tall, skinny, brown, black…. etc, and there will be lots of men who don’t like it, and refuse to date you, but you will still have more than enough options of men who DO like it.  It isn’t the same for short men. They can’t  “dye their hair” so to speak to be acceptable.  If you don’t date short men, and neither doesn’t your friend, and neither does her friends, etc… see?
    So the miscommunication, or lack of empathy, I am seeing is that many female posters are saying “it’s a preference” and it is, I agree. However, where is the acknowledgment of when a statistically biased amount has the same preference? For one women to say “only men taller than average height are allowed” is a preference. For a statistically biased number of women to say it is a problem. And I think short men have a legitimate reason to be upset.

  22. 142

    5’5 and a half guy here.  
    Everyone knows that the dating world is a more difficult one for short men compared to that of taller guys.  Dating for short men is sometimes like walking on a road scattered with thumbtacks or broken glass.  To avoid being cut means taking the detour that’s not always the desired path.  For tall guys, the road is much smoother and often nicely paved for him.  There’s a whole lot more women who are eager to take the high road and take the chance on the tall guys path because of her own insecurities.  They will seek his height  to boost her femininity, to feel better about themselves, his acceptance and his attention.  All without actually saying a word to his face.  On the other hand, these same women will put the creep stamp on a shorter guy or any other man who she doesn’t find attractive.
    I have never been one to hold a clipboard full of expectations or carry a measuring stick when surveying potential dates.  Women carry this ridiculous unwritten checklist to grade men by and it doesn’t surprise me that many of them are of the shorter variety, 5’3 and under.  Taller ladies carry the same checklist of requirements and they are also strict, sometimes even more extreme about wanting a taller man.   This usually means by rule that he has to be taller than her when she wears heels.  LOL, not to despair because I’ve had the good fortune of meeting some taller women who welcomed me approaching them!  Wish more would feel the same.   I will  admit that I have a severe weakness for women with big boobs, long legs, good curves, well groomed hands and freshly pedicured feet.   Not gonna lie about it or ignore what turns me on.  Why should I?   Do I deserved to be called a creep because of this?  I think not!   I’ve owned up to my personal preference for tall women despite the associated difficulties that go with being a shorter guy who has an attraction for them.    It’s hard not to avoid them at times because the vibe I get from some tall ladies when trying to make eye contact isn’t always pleasant.  In fact, my second mind has saved me from ridicule and some harsh rejections.
    So from the result of what Evan is saying here,  I don’t actively seek out or approach any woman who’s not at least 5’8 but I don’t reject the shorter ladies who look my way either.  She’s gotta be taller than me but I don’t demand it.  I might get rejected a lot more because of western culture’s stupid height rules but it’s worth knowing where I stand with the taller ladies.  There are lots of beautiful short women who in turn have the strongest reservations against dating men in the 5’5/5’6 range.   All the reason why I’ll take my chances on the 5’9, 5’10, 5′ 11 or 6 foot + lady who doesn’t have issues being the bigger spoon.
    Women say men are shallow? Well, some in this thread have identified height and being tall with attractiveness.   So what does this say about height in the other direction?  A short guy can’t be attractive just because he’s not tall?  Imagine if a guy said a woman is not attractive because she doesn’t have big boobs?  Imagine if a guy said a woman is not attractive because she has no butt?  Imagine if a guy said a woman is no attractive because her feet and hands are bigger than his?
    Dude would be taken to the cleaners by every group who chooses to take offense with him even though it’s his personal preference, not a requirement.

  23. 143

    Kofybean 141
    I don’t think the word “preference “is the right word here.  “Requirement” sounds more accurate to me when speaking about women choosing partners in relationships.   It’s totally OK to have physical preferences.  Nothing wrong with that really.  IMO  it’s not OK when someone refuses to notice other attractive qualities and passes negative judgement about that person without no real merit.  The person judging the other is usually has their own issues.  Their perception is severely clouded in superficiality because they refuse to see anything else a person has to offer.
    I know what I like physically in a woman and yes, they are my preferences.  The difference is that I allow room for women who are physically outside of my preference because I strongly believe her mind and her attitude trumps anything related to physical looks.  There has to be a definite attraction factor in order for me to pursue a lady but I don’t have a strict checklist of requirements like most women have.  It’s amazing how a woman can rule out a guy and render him worthless just because he doesn’t stand X amount of inches tall.  The high heels factor contributes to this shallow behaviour  immensely.   If a guy is not tall enough when she wears a specific pair of shoes, he’s disqualified as a partner.  This,  I strongly believe is why the notion of women being more shallow and superficial than guys makes a lot of sense.  Nothing else matters to many women except his height.  If he’s tall, he gets a free pass.  Nothing else has to match up or be qualitative for her to be attracted to him as long as he’s tall.
    For me, sometimes all it takes is one physical characteristic that catches my eye and makes me want to pursue her further.  It doesn’t matter if everything else about her is physically not up to par with what I find attractive in a woman.  It’s certainly not a here-all, end-all, deal-breaking situation if she’s doesn’t match up to my physical aspirations.  Again, all it takes is one aspect of her to be attractive to me.  I’ll find the rest quite easily if her personality turns me on!  Her mind is the real “drawing” power and her spirit defines the “staying” power.   Physical looks are added bonuses that only diminish over time. 

    1. 143.1
      Karmic Equation

      Why can’t height be an “attraction” factor for women?

      Frankly many short men have unattractive leg-torso ratios. Some men, their legs are so short, when compared to their torsos, they remind me of monkeys. Other short men have legs so long, they look like they’re missing torsos. Both, to me, are really unattractive.

      Then on the other side of that, I’ve noticed very very handsome men who are well-proportioned, but short. Those men date girls who look like supermodels (and taller than they) and won’t give average me a second look.

      If men can be T&A or T or A guys, why can’t women be “height” gals?

      In fact, women’s preferences for men’s looks are so varied, that you CAN’T pigeonhole women to T or A equivalents in men. Except for maybe height. And that seems to be universal. Which probably means this need women have for height is more evo-psych based than superficial.

      1. 143.1.1

        I’ve only known a couple really short guys with odd proportions, but they are all exactly as you describe: long torsos and short legs. Tall guys are often better-proportioned, I’ll admit, but it isn’t invariable. They’re also (from my observations) exponentially more likely to have disproportionately-long legs and/or be extremely awkward. Guys in my size range and below are almost never awkward walkers, while people of bother genders that are above average in height are very likely to be.

        Personally, I have a weird effect along that “well-proportioned, but short” thing. I’m average-husky, bright, confident, and apparently decent looking (just short), but in pictures, even with objects to set the scale, women instinctively imagine me at least 6′ tall. It doesn’t reduce the rejection, but I hear about it every time, even if I was very clear and open about my height.

        The fact is that the rejection is very real and really hurts.

      2. 143.1.2

        1) The leg-torso ratio discrepancy isn’t exclusive to short guys, or even majorly seen in short guys. From my anecdotal evidence, it runs the population, for men and women. So that point is moot.

        2) You’re missing the point.  Most women have a height requirement.

        Yes, there are some men who are Tand/orA fetishists, but I’d be willing to bet my life that most men don’t have a single attribute that defines a woman as attractive.  As has been said in the commentary herein: attractive is attractive.  For F-sake.. I’m not going to reject  a gorgeous blonde with an athletic body, just because she’s an A-cup.  (I have a friend who is exactly that.. and she’s 40.. and she can still hang with women half-her age)  Most men would agree with me.

        BUT, most women will reject short men OUTRIGHT, no matter how attractive he may be in other respects.  This is the problem.  And before you say, “Errr hum dummm.. but womens shewd be ables to pik whosevers”, know that I agree.  But there’s one problem here:

        The societal taboo against dating short men is so overwhelming, that there are many women willing to date fantastic men who are shorter than them, but are afraid to do so due to being ridiculed and ostracized.

        It’s THAT strong.. I know because I dated a taller woman when I was in my 20s (Am now 43).  5″ taller, to be exact.. and we had to face public ridicule too often, just in going to restaurants.  It was awful, and I doubt times have changed, that much.

        Many women.. MANY women I have approached in the past have not explicitly said as much, but I could tell.  I could see they were genuinely interested, but skirted around the issue of dating because they were scared.

        Now you tell me, how f-ed up is that?


        1. Karmic Equation


          You’ve got to get rid of that chip on your shoulder.

          Ironically, that chip is there because, yes, there is discrimination against short men in the world. If the world didn’t discriminate against you because you were short, you wouldn’t have that chip. But you do have that chip. Tall men don’t have that chip. So, unfortunately, some short guys DO have an attitude that tall guys will never have.

          While you may not change the world, getting rid of your chip may make dating a little easier for you. Because from here, that chip is big and unattractive.

          And you know, short guys can have average to ugly faces, just like tall guys can. Short guys can be jerks as well as white knights. So if a woman doesn’t want to date you, it could be because she doesn’t find your face or attitude appealing, not your height.

          Obviously, if a woman says outright that she won’t date you because you’re short, then those women weren’t “the one” for you no matter how attracted you were to them. They did you a favor and didn’t let you waste your time or money on them.

          “The One” won’t care about your height. Simple as that.

          But odds are, she’s going to care about that chip on your shoulder once she gets to know you.

          And if she dumps you, odds are you’re going to blame the fact you were short. When in fact, it’s the chip on your shoulder that made you unattractive.

        2. Scooter

          karmic, don’t you think it’s a bit ridiculous to say tall men don’t have a chip? Yes, they have chips of all sizes and types. You’re using confirmation bias. If you go back and look, I’m pretty sure that you’ll find every response I’ve had in this topic, had been to debunk and criticize illogical prejudice against short men. If you want to call that a chip, go right ahead. I call it for sticking up for what’s right, and not allowing people like me to be marginalized.

          And I absolutely don’t bring this to women I meet. That’s another mistake you make. You have no idea what I’m like in real life, and if you were to meet me and discuss this, I guarantee you I would do so in a calm and logical manner. Things get lost in translation in message boards, and people often assume things that aren’t there. So I ask you to believe me when I say, I don’t go around screaming. I’m very logical, and level-headed. Bottom line, attack the message, not the messenger.

          I know that short men can be rejected for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with height.  I’ve never said otherwise. But my anecdotal evidence, and that of other short men strongly points towards height being the major factor. And if you really really need for this to be proven, I’m sure you could google any number of studies that would  make this point very concrete.

          Thanks for listening.

        3. Tom10

          @ Scooter
          I feel for you dude: there’s no doubt about it that dating is unfair, and it’s very unfair on short men. I don’t comment on height here too much because I’m an unwitting benefactor of this issue. I was quite a small lad until I was about 16 or so, then I went through a growth spurt and doubled in size in two years. And I have to admit that it was like receiving a gold ticket dating-wise. However, I have other issues to deal with so it’s a mixed bag. The main problem with height is how visible and ubiquitous the preference is: other issues can be hidden until you’ve managed to get your foot in the door.
          However, no matter how hard you try to convince women and the world how wrong their preferences are and no matter how many comments you write here, you are fighting a losing battle: women will still want what they want. I tend to agree with Karmic that women like tall men for instinctual reasons rather than for societal acceptance that you think is their motivation. Ultimately all you can do is accept the world as it is, accept women for having whatever preferences they want, and then make peace with it.

          We all have our crosses to bear: it’s how we deal with them that counts.

        4. Scooter

          I tend to agree with Karmic that women like tall men for instinctual reasons rather than for societal acceptance that you think is their motivation. Ultimately all you can do is accept the world as it is, accept women for having whatever preferences they want, and then make peace with it.

          Hey Tom, I want to thank you for the thoughtful reply.  I appreciate your inclusion of life experience that allows you to be empathetic to men like me.  However, I will have to respectfully disagree. There are a few studies out there which conclude that the preference is a strongly reinforced social construct.  But in the end, the result is the same.
          My purpose here isn’t to try and change attraction for those women who genuinely aren’t drawn towards shorter men.
          I endeavor to expose the baseless prejudice in hopes that some women will understand it.  I realize that it’s an uphill battle, and being in my 40s, I hold no hope that I will benefit. However, I hope to be part of the chorus that does enable change in the future.
          Let’s at least try to arrive at a time where a height “mismatched” couple can go out for pizza, without fear of social retribution.  Or ridicule from family and friends.
          I also wish for the bullying, and work-place disparities to disappear.  But, that’s outside of the scope of this message board topic.

  24. 144

    I am short male 5ft 6 through out my life I have always felt inferior especially up against a beautiful tall woman.  So I never married.
    Women prefer tall men it is not only genetic that they have tall healthy children, but they also feel secure with a tall man.  No woman like a short man unless he is wealthy.  Lets face it a short man against a tall woman looks sick,  nature places an unfair burden on us our bodies are the crap made out of this earthly substance, our souls are eternal and no doubt much bigger than the woman who puts us down, but in a  world where we only see the surface where beauty is only skin deep.  We fail to see the real being housed in this useless earthly body.

    1. 144.1

      Look man, I hope one day you find the confidence to pull yourself up.  But for now, I can see you have been beaten down so badly inside, that you just want to give up.

      That being said, don’t include this short guy in your description.  I have been frustrated. I am aware of the problem, and its origins. I know the prejudice, as do you.

      I’ve also been married, and dated some fantastic women.  And you know what, if I weren’t so shy and beaten down as you were, when I was younger? If I had confidence, I probably could have dated more of them.  Not saying EVERY short guy can do it, because certainly, it takes a set of assets (just as it would, even for taller men).

      But unless you hunker down, improve yourself, and try, you’ll never know. And when you hit 40, 50, and 60, you’ll hate yourself even more.

  25. 145

    I think Vanessa has a great point. Yes, this article is directed at women, about their views on height, and I think it’s a message a lot of them need to hear. However, what’s the point of us being open to dating different sized men if they continue to hold up the height standard? At that point, it’s not US shrinking the size of the pool of men interested in dating us. My last serious boyfriend was the same height as me without shoes, and he actually told me that he didn’t like it when I wore heels! 

  26. 146

    There are some guys who won’t go near taller women because past experiences have taught them to avoid the most obvious of rejections.  I personally think  it’s wrong to group an entire sector of women and judge them based on a singular bad experience or a failed attempt, especially if she was taller.  Despite knowing this I can understand why some short guys don’t bother with taller ladies.  It’s storybook obvious really.  From day one, little girls grow up wanting to be princesses with a taller prince on her arm.  Society brainwashes the weaker minded women ad nauseam wth the traditional taller man/shorter woman image as the ideal couple.   Guys who don’t fit the image or look the part of the tall knight in shining armor are the outsiders and outcasts.  There are men who have thicker skins than others and have no problems enduring a ton of rejections.  They’ll absorb whatever punishment if it means landing the woman who matches up best physically.  For other guys, the clear solution to finding happiness in the dating world without the tall girl embarrassment is to simply aim for the lower ladies.  Smart money says go for the women who are height accessible by social norms, meaning she must be as short or shorter.  Lots of tall women are crazy strict about wanting an equally tall or taller guy to begin with.    The ones who do accept shorter guys generally have a rule that he can’t be more than two inches shorter than she is.   I never understood how a woman could be so utterly blatant in shrinking her dating pool just to hold out for a tall guy.    
    So I will say truthfully that it’s not entirely accurate that average height or shorter guys aren’t interested in taller women.  I know quite a few guys who have no problems dating taller women.  Include myself as one of them.  I can’t say the same in reverse because I haven’t met that many tall women who say they have no problems dating a shorter guy.  Tons of them say they find absolutely no attraction in shorter men with his height being the primary deciding factor against him.  Doesn’t matter how good looking the guy is, or how fit his body is.  If he doesn’t stand X amount of inches tall or look good when she wears heels,  he’s immediately considered unattractive.  The disturbing part of all of this is that these women don’t believe they should be at fault for having those preferences.  On the other hand, a guy who refuses to date a woman who’s any combination of heavier, bigger or taller than him is a shallow pig.

  27. 147

    I love how so many women here are saying height doesn’t matter, as to not appear superficial to themselves, but then add in the disclaimer that their fiance, boyfriend, or hubby are 6′, LOL

  28. 148

    Girls who have tall boyfriends are always mentioning their bf’s height, like dropping it into conversations at any given opportunity. OK, we get it, you got yourself a tall boyfriend and you’re very proud of it. Well done you. Now can you just stop lol?

  29. 149

    Tall men are just hotter to me, it’s not that I’ve been conditioned to think that by the media or society, it’s just a natural attraction I have. My boyfriend is 6’2 and I LOVE it. His height makes me feel safe and secure and means I can wear my heels wherever I like.

    Women’s preference for tall men is no different to men liking women with ample breasts – it’s a physical feature that emphasises their sex. 

    1. 149.1

      Ok it may be a natural attraction, but that doesn’t make it smart. We don’t have to be slaves to biology. Research shows that evolutionary biology makes men prefer women with “large eyes, a small jaw, chin, and nose, full lips, firm, symmetrical breasts, unblemished skin, and a waist-hip  ratio of 0.7”. Other preferences include “high forehead, high cheekbones, and wide-set eyes”, plus of course youthfulness. Lots of women complain about men being shallow, but I just can’t see many men refusing to date a woman just cos she lacked one of these ideal characteristics. 
      The only similarity I see is many men refusing to date women older than them. Similarly I could understand women refusing to date shorter guys. But as long as he’s at least a bit taller than the woman in question, I just don’t understand why the height is an issue. There are soo many more impt things to be picky about. A woman only wanting guys above 6 feet tall when a lady is 5 feet 4 inches is like those men who are in their 50s and will only date women in their 20s. It’s extreme and looks kinda foolish.

    2. 149.2

      It’s very different.  It’s also very obvious, that you haven’t read previous comments.

      Maybe for you it’s a natural attraction.  But what about for other women who list it as a requirement, due to the societal taboo against dating shorter men?

  30. 150
    Sandra Lerga

    THANK YOU CAT! For standing up for what is important to YOU! And Goldie i think you are the one who bought into limiting yourself and so are “uncomfortable” with Cat getting what she wanted which is a man taller than her in this case. Why does it bother you so much?
    There ARE enough tall men out there and YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT.
    Im sorry but you need to be physically attracted to your partner and if height is one of the requirements that get you going so have it for crying out loud! Of course we know that qualities of kindness, generosity, love, compassion and maturity as best as we can are absolutely vital for a deep and loving partnership and those come in all shapes and sizes but as a 5’10” women myself  I will not date a man shorter than me. I don’t care if he is the good Christ dipped in chocolate its a no for me. it turns me off if he;s 5’8..i can’t do it! On top of it I’m athletic so i need my man to be taller and stronger than me so I can enjoy feeling like a woman. And I’m sharing this from experience out there dating right now- I am open to him winning me over with his wit, his depth, his intelligence, his wealth, his generous heart, his love of nature etc ..but people if you do not want to bed him or make out with him  for hours FO’GETABOUTIT!  And i even dated  guys which are not my turn on so i can maybe see something grow and  Bottom line is: IT WON’T.
    You gotta be attracted to your love  AND WHATEVER THAT IS FOR YOU, IS RIGHT. BASTA. That’s it! I saw a letter this Even guy answered advising this woman who has been in a 13 yr attraction-less marriage with a really good guy who’s loved her so unconditionally for years and  with whom she “sometimes” had good sex with and loved him and respected him but was not in love with to STAY. If thats not settling then i don’t know what is!

    1. 150.1

      I think you’re missing the point. You don’t have to date, kiss, sleep with, or marry anyone you’re not interested in. If you want to set the height bar at 6’5″ with a 7 figure income, multiple degrees, fluency in no less than 5 languages, and a passion for dogs, go ahead!! That’s your right AND your choice. If it works for you, great! May you meet the man or woman of your dreams and live happily ever after. However, if you can’t find anyone who matches your requirements, EMK is suggesting you consider altering your requirements and a good place to start might be height. If shorter men don’t do it for you, fine. Maybe relax your income or education requirements. Maybe consider dating bald men or guys with kids. Still no? Maybe there’s another requirement you can loosen a bit. Whatever you decide, know that the more requirements you have, the smaller the pool becomes. That’s all and it applies to men as well as women.

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