I Find Most Men Unattractive. What’s Wrong With Me?

I Find Most Men Unattractive. What’s Wrong With Me
247 Shares

I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive. Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).

However, I’m also aware having been through a lot of therapy after numerous and significant mental health difficulties (eating disorders etc.) that I tend to date cold or unavailable men and then not ask for more and maintain that emotional distance – essentially, I seem to have been in a habit of avoiding intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive, or more often than I’d like to admit, men who I know are gay before I even ask them out…otherwise they’re narcissistic or give mixed messages, or aren’t close in some way etc.

Knowing that I have that pattern, I made a promise to myself to pick up on coldness whenever I find someone attractive and to walk away. And that is something I do – I look specifically for empathy. And guess what…on those very rare occasions when the idea of kissing/sleeping with someone is not downright unappealing, they’re cold and narcissistic, and so I walk away.

Now to be honest, I’m not too bothered about finding someone in the next couple of years, I’m still young at 28 and my career is my priority right now, so I’m not in too much of a hurry, but the reason why it’s been bothering me is that I’m actually starting to worry that my family messed me up so much I’ll never be able to love anyone. I’m therapied out and no longer diagnosable – I’ve made a massive recovery and feel extremely healthy – so I don’t think more therapy is going to suddenly make me find more men attractive.

I have tried being with people I don’t find attractive – and I usually remain friends with very nice men I have tried to date but didn’t find attractive, and I’m afraid they don’t start growing on me. They just become my friend.

Have you come across this and do you think the reason I find so many men physically unappealing is because of something psychological? Some of my friends think it’s do with the bar being raised…I’m quite attractive myself and I’ve had a lot of attention from the opposite of sex since I was about 13, including the “very good looking”, so perhaps it’s just knowing what I could have and that that’s influencing me?

SG

I feel for you, SG. I do. After all of your therapy, you are as self-aware as you can be, and yet it still seems to me that you have some significant blind spots about your problem.

Now, first of all, I want to make it crystal clear: you are not alone. Women, on the whole, are far more discerning than men when it comes to physical attraction. In the linked OkCupid study, women think that 80% of men are BELOW average in attractiveness, when, in a normal distribution, that number should be 50%. I’m not going to say whether these women are right, although THEY certainly feel they are. I will say that men, for all their flaws, are equal opportunity daters in a way that women are not. While they will still lust for the hottest woman around, they’ll ultimately marry someone in their league, which, empirically, is not always that attractive.

Men, for all their flaws, are equal opportunity daters in a way that women are not.

Your issue, however, is a little more extreme, and reminds me of a client I had a few years back. Very attractive woman — a 43-year-old personal trainer who hated online dating for the very reason you mentioned. No one was attractive enough for her. When we went through the website to take inventory, I asked her to put 40 guys on her favorites list. She couldn’t even do so. The only 6 guys she found attractive looked like 32-year-old GQ models whose preferred age range was 22-29. My client was pretty much out of luck because she found less than 1% of men attractive, including NO men her own age who wanted her in return.

Let’s just say that this wasn’t one of my success stories.

And this is where we bump up against one of my limitations of a coach. I’m not a psychologist who has been trained to delve into your past; my specialty is helping women in the present model confident behavior to elicit better results in the future. Your issue, in this instance, isn’t lack of confidence; it’s something that runs much deeper, something you only hinted at when you say that your family “messed you up.” Without knowing you, I have to concur.

Just read what you wrote to me:

“(I) avoid intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive.”

Sorry, but I want to challenge that assertion. You avoid intimacy by going out with people you DO find attractive — because the only people you find attractive are, in your words, “cold and narcissistic.”

That begins in your childhood, SG, usually with an absent, distant, or abusive father.

And so it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only men you’re drawn to are the worst ones; the other 99%, you eliminate because you’re not attracted to them.

There’s being discerning, and there’s being impossible, and you’ve unfortunately raised the bar so high that no man can jump it.

You seem to be somewhat aware of this when you state that you walk away from emotionally distant men — and yet you claim they’re the only people you sleep with, since the “vast, vast, vast” majority of men are unattractive to you.

And here you are, writing to me, wondering if you will ever be able to love anyone.

You have every right to worry.

I can’t “fix” you from here, but I can tell you that something is very wrong if you only find 2 people attractive “every few years.” There’s being discerning, and there’s being impossible, and you’ve unfortunately raised the bar so high that no man can jump it.

You are attracted to the wrong men for reasons beyond your control. You need to rewire yourself on what it means to be in a healthy relationship. And if it means you have to dial down your attraction from a 10 to a 7, in order to find an emotionally healthy guy, that’s a price well worth paying.

That may sound awful to you on two counts: 1) you refuse to compromise on chemistry, and 2) you don’t think that a 7 chemistry actually exists. For you, it’s all or nothing. I believe you.

But that’s not normal, it’s not healthy, and it will leave you no dating options whenever you do decide to take your love life seriously again.

Get thee to a really good therapist. You’re worth the investment.

Join our conversation (381 Comments).
Click Here To Leave Your Comment Below.

Comments:

  1. 121
    Nath

    Same thing here! In my mid 40’s and find rarely men attractive.
    And yes those who are, know it most of the time and know they can pick a lot of women…
    The guys that are physically attracted to me are absolutely not handsome to me.
    I tried lowering my “physical” standards and dating guys I am not attracted too at 1st sight. In some rare cases attraction grew cause they’d give me loads off attention and affection. I was not attracted to them as a guy, I was attracted to what they were giving me… Once they started to take me for granted and gave me less affection the magic was over again… They were back to not handsome.

    I see a lot of women dating and marrying guys “below” their standards… Cause they have the feeling they cannot get better.
    I don’t want to settle for a guy I am not physically attractive to me. The last guy I was dating wasn’t my type but very kind… And I fell in love with his affection, but when we had sex, I looked at him and focused on his not attractive physic…
    I want to be able to look at my man and have the feeling I want to jump him…

    1. 121.1
      Yet Another Guy

      @Nath

      If you are not attracted to the men who are attracted to you, then you are attempting to date up SMV-wise (i.e., the guys who are attracted to you are your league). The reason why men who women tend to find physically attractive (the top 20%) know it is because they get so much more attention than the other 80% of men. Trust me, it takes a lot of self-control for a man to not take advantage of how narrowly-focused women are when it comes to physical attraction. I did not have that level of self-control when I was younger.

    2. 121.2
      Aurora Michelina

      You sound like a very aware and normal functioning woman like myself. We shouldn’t have to lower our standards and then wind up unhappy. Women are visual. Period.

      1. 121.2.1
        Buck25

        “We shouldn’t have to lower our standards and the wind up unhappy. Women are visual. Period.”

        That’s perfectly ok. Men are also visual. Period. So why is it, that when men don’t “lower their standards”, so many women attack them as “shallow” and “superficial”, yet when a woman acts precisely the same, those same women simply call her “an aware and normal functioning woman”. Double standard much?

        Here’s an idea; why don’t we just declare a moratorium on calling any man or woman “shallow” or “superficial” because we find their individual physical attraction preferences inconvenient to us, or we simply don’t agree with them? It’s not like they’re hurting anyone (except possibly themselves). Besides, it’s not as if trying to shame either men or women into trying to be attracted to what they simply aren’t attracted to, is really going to change anyone’s preferences. You and Nath both clearly illustrate just how futile that is. Human beings, male or female, are attracted to what we are individually attracted to. Period. We all want what we want (getting it may be another matter).

        1. Aurora

          “So why is it, that when men don’t “lower their standards”, so many women attack them as “shallow” and “superficial”, yet when a woman acts precisely the same, those same women simply call her “an aware and normal functioning woman”. Double standard much?”

          You should ask those women why they do that.

        2. Yet Another Guy

          @Buck25

          I was always curious as to how women viewed men from a physical attraction point of view when I was younger. I believe that clueless may be a better description. I truly believed that men were the shallow gender because I was the target of a lot of shaming, especially in my twenties and early thirties (I was raised in a Catholic home, so guilt works). I was truly shocked to discover the truth as an older guy. When you are a guy who never experienced difficulty when it comes to physically attracting women, you write the struggles that other men experience in the dating market off. Your answer is to stop attempting to date out of you league or “man up” and try harder.

          With that said, I have never told a man that he settled looks-wise, even when I did not find his woman to be all that attractive. Male physical attraction is more nuanced, more of a tiered spectrum from the least attractive to the most attractive whereas female physical attraction appears to be truly a land of haves and have nots. Luckily for the male gender, most women are attracted to the total package (something that Nath and Aurora consider settling); otherwise, the guys who live in the land of have nots would never pair with a woman.

          With that said, I am curious as to what the lives of outlier women like Nath and Aurora are like. It has to suck going through life only wanting men who are not interested. It has to be a blow to their self-esteem; however, I am absolutely certain that a sizeable percentage of these women project their shallowness onto the men to whom they are attracted. If these women are only attracted to men who are not attracted to them, then they have no clue as to where they land in the female social hierarchy.

          In the end, we all attempt to maximize our outcomes in the dating market. However, as has been mentioned many times on this blog, dating is an assortative process, that is, like seeks like.

  2. 122
    TimeSquare

    She might be lesbian but didn’t realize it as most of the girls/women here, I guess. She can just go bisexual or asexual and stop bothering herself with the opposite sex to put it simple.

    1. 122.1
      Aurora the Great has Spoken

      No such thing as a bisexual woman. She’s either lesbian or straight. Period. However, there are many bisexual men.

      1. 122.1.1
        Buck25

        “No such thing as a bisexual woman. She’s either lesbian or straight. Period. However, there are many bisexual men.”

        Really??? I’m sure there would be a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists, not to mention women who actually identify as “bisexual”, who would be very surprised to learn that. Would you please tell all of us which research source wherein you found this amazing gem of psycho-sexual knowledge, previously unknown to peer-reviewed science? Or perchance, did you come up with this all by yourself?

        1. Marika

          Buck

          Aurora is speaking for herself and some other women like her. Please don’t think her views are shared by women generally. Certainly not me. If someone identifies as bisexual, male or female, I believe them. Some women are very focused on looks and can’t get past that, some aren’t, or can certainly get past just focusing on looks.

        2. Aurora

          I’m just applying the same offensive rhetoric that some men here are applying toward women. I can’t stand when men say that women are naturally bisexual. Such nonsense. That is such an offense to femininity and the female nature. This whole female sexuality fluidity crap has got to go. If some women are that way, fine. But there are men who commented here that seem to believe this bs about women and it’s got to stop.

        3. Buck25

          Marika,

          Based on prior experience with her posts, I totally agree with your observation. Aurora is…well, Aurora. Many of her remarks here display an attitude not typical of most women I have known, here or elsewhere. That last one seemed especially over the top, but as with many of her “pronouncements”, I’m not quite sure what the point was.

      2. 122.1.2
        TimeSquare

        “No such thing as a bisexual woman.”

        Huh? No such thing??? Are you really sure on that? I gotta tell you they are the majority at least in America!

    2. 122.2
      Aurora

      @TimeSquare, any man that believes that may women are bisexual knows didly squat about women and probably watches too much porn.

  3. 123
    Caz

    I found this post searching for the same thing. I don’t find many men attractive and i am the same as the lady asking the question. i will find someone attractive about 3 times out of a years worth of online dating and it doesnt work out. Im a very sexual person but i dont want to have sex with the majority of men. I have no abusive farther my dad did his best for me but my mother was. Im not a lesbian either. Iv had the same problem with porn. To stimulate my g spot i need to be aroused for 30 mins yet i cant find any men on there i find sexualy attractive. I ended up watching lesbian porn and i thought to myself, am i gay? Im being genuinely serious that going down on a women is not something id wana do and if you arnt prepared to lick it you’re not a lesbian. After a Google search i found that apparently a lot of straight women choose to watch lesbian porn. Probably because these men arnt that attractive. Women are made to look attractive abd sexy where as thw men jerk over a computer acreen for 20 seconds lol! I think theres obviously more good looking women than men. Im left feeling really upset by it. Not sure what to do. I cant force myself to like someone i dont.

    1. 123.1
      Emily, to

      Caz,
      “Women are made to look attractive abd sexy where as thw men jerk over a computer acreen for 20 seconds lol! I think theres obviously more good looking women than men. Im left feeling really upset by it. Not sure what to do. I cant force myself to like someone i dont.”
      A lot of straight porn has the male gaze. The average straight guy is watching it. He’s imagining he’s doing all that stuff to the female porn actor. Sometimes you can barely even see the male porn actor in the frame. If the male porn actor is too good-looking, it takes the male viewer out of the fantasy.

    2. 123.2
      Cloud

      Caz,

      2 hypotheses:
      1. You said that women overall are more attractive than men. Most female porn actresses put the makeups and face whitening or whatever on their face (most of them do) => this implies that you are drawn to a more conventional attractiveness. Or, you’re more attracted to femininity, softness, delicacy, etc. So in my opinion, instead of asking yourself why is that you’re straight but see the same sex more attractive than the opposite sex, you may ask: Why is that the femininity, softness, delicacy always are the factors that make someone attractive?

      2. You might declare that you’re straight, but more on a gay spectrum? Since I’m not a therapist, I may safely say that you’re sexually confused.

  4. 124
    InsertNameHere

    Are overall the women of this comment section sexually confused or what? Is it perhaps women over Europe and North America gone gay but (dubiously?) still claim heterosexual? What’s the point of claiming oneself heterosexual when he/she is not attracted to the opposite? I find it odd…

  5. 125
    no

    Honestly this isn’t just an issue for women as an 18 year old I find it ridiculous that suddenly having biceps and almost having a 6 pack suddenly makes you stand out more, most men are pathetic. When i’m fully developed I should be around 8 pack level and have bigger arms. I dont see myself as very physically attractive, but compared to almost every man it degrading. I’m not sure why in today’s society its hard to find a person who is physically developed and has a good personality. Its extremely insulting because I know my standards are not too high. If I met women who were in the same shape as me that would be a first. But anytime that happens those are people on social media that you never meet ever in real life and even then there usually isn’t a personality. It goes both ways for men and women. I feel bad for many women and what they have to deal with as well, since almost no men are in shape either let alone have a personality.

  6. 126
    James

    Shit. These comments have made me realise that my ugliness is the reason why I have always been single. I’m 30 and have never had a girlfriend. I’m still a virgin, too. If all women want good-looking men, then I’m screwed. I guess I’m undateable.

  7. 127
    Buck25

    “I guess I’m undateable”

    James,
    Not necessarily; “undateable” is often a relative term. Women all want men they perceive as attractive to them; fortunately for most of us, that perception can vary widely. That is, what’s attractive to one woman may be completely unattractive to another, or the other way round. So even if you didn’t win the genetic lottery with regard to looks, all is not lost, although dating may not be so easy for you as it is for the “handsome hunk”, (especially in your age group), it’s not impossible. You’re less likely to get the most attractive women, of course, but remember there are many average-looking women, and they tend to be about as invisible to men as you are to many women.

    With that in mind, try to develop a charming personality; be funny, be witty, and above all, carry yourself with confidence and a bit of swagger. If you aren’t in good physical shape, get in shape; that will tend to help your confidence. Don’t be intimidated by women; remember they are human beings just like you. Learn how to approach them confidently; they don’t bite, and usually don’t slap you if you’re reasonably polite about it. Learn to carry on a conversation with them. Would you be surprised if I told you there are many average, or slightly below average looking women in your age group who have never had a boyfriend, or even a real date, who are as frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward as you seem to be? Would you be surprised if they feel they are “undateable” too? Well James, all that is true, those women really are out there, and you just might find one you like, who actually likes you too.

    1. 127.1
      SparklingEmerald

      I wish there was a “like button in this blog, because I would definitely give this post a thumbs up !

  8. 128
    C

    Oh no. I’m the same way! And I guess I’ll be alone forever because I will not compromise my standards.

  9. 129
    lisa Malmquist

    Yes, I can understand this. Not to bash anyone but a lot of men don’t take much time for personal grooming or learn how to dress nicely or whatever. They just throw on a hoodie and good to go. So there is the fact that maybe with a bit of learning about dressing a bit better- more men would actually be attractive and get a nice haircut or learn what clothing is flattering and what just makes them look like a prison escapee.

  10. 130
    Ted

    All this boils down to “eggs are expensive and sperms are cheap”. Evolutionarily speaking, reproduction cost incurs by female is far higher than male, since it involves 9 months of pregnancy and 3 to 6 months of lactation for female with limited time(female fertility decreases greatly after 30s and becomes infertile by 50s), as opposed to male who just has to ejaculate sperm inside vagina and whose fertility lasts up to the age of 70. As a result, females become picky selecting handful of men who have costly traits(such as tall height, broad shoulders, facial symmetry etc), so their offspring can inherit these traits, increasing the offspring fitness, which js replication of genotype into next generation(for more you can read Bateman’s principle, Fisherman runaway and sexy-son hypothesis). This is why, females find a few men attractive.

    Now, choosing man you aren’t physically attracted to, based on his personality and status was never a biological thing and is a recent social construct strengthened by religion, culture and agricultural revolution.

    Before I dwell upon more, I’d like to digress here a bit and touch upon love which is, biologically speaking, attraction and emotional attachment. Former is governed by testosterone, estrogen and dopamine, while latter is governed by oxytocin and vasopressin. In order to be emotionally attached, attraction is a must that’s why females who have attractive partners put with domestic violence and have high rush of vasopressin in their brain because attraction has facilitated emotional attachment in them for that person despite his bad behavior.

    Coming back to choosing partner you aren’t attracted to, things get problematic for females, as their biology tells them to get physically attractive man, who are very few in number and are less likely to commit but the society tells them to get man who is very likely to commit and treat her better. When woman marries a man she is not attracted to, her body doesn’t like it this is why women complaining “he is a nice guy but I can’t feel the spark” is common. Females never loved these guys because for love, attraction is needed which can come only from physical traits. You can’t get attracted to personality or status, you can like them only and liking is not equal to love. This is also why females don’t report compliments from attractive guys as harassment and they get easily ready for ONS with them.

    I’m not blaming females for anything, it’s just their biology they have no control over.

  11. 131
    Jak

    This is what I don’t understand. Everyone is telling this girl she needs to just be a lesbian or be asexual. As someone who actually resonates with this very strongly and that’s why I’m here, it pisses me off because I am not sexually attracted to females in any way shape or form. We are not in denial it’s just facts. The problem of it is, is that men refuse to be attractive. Women are supposed to have some sort of fat on their bodies by nature. So when a man finds a slightly chunky woman attractive, it’s only normal. However, females are more attracted to somebody who they see that can protect their future family. It’s called natural instinct. And when every man looks like he’s a slobbering out of shape cow that does nothing but drink beer all day and doesn’t physically take care of himself it’s hard to find that attractive. Men are drawn to women with big breasts and big hips for a reason. Its natural instinct. But men refuse to believe that women find men with muscles attractive. Not to mention. a vast majority of females are highly attracted to men with long hair. You have so many guys with long hair it like Jason Momoa, Sebastian Bach and c
    Clay Matthews that literally have women kicking and clawing and obsessing over their hair. Yet men all want to look the same by shaving their head. It doesn’t matter if women wear make up or not and do their hair. The point of the matter is that women on the average spend more time at least attempting to take care of themselves and look beautiful than what men do. Women will openly voice what they find attractive as a whole, and instead of trying to be that kind of man men will demonize and scrutinize the kind of men that women find attractive and then complain when they don’t have a woman that’s attracted to them. There are 3 things I find attractive in a man. I like tall men about 6′ tall. That enough is a rarity these days. Then I like men with long hair. Men all shave their heads or they are stupid hipster kids so that’s another rarity. Then I like men with muscles and because men refuse to work out these days that’s another rarity. Those are 3 things that shouldn’t be that hard to find. It’s not like tall men don’t exist and it’s not like men can’t grow their hair out and it’s not like men can’t work out and get in shape like I do. So I have 3 of the hardest to find picks all working against me. It’s not making me shallow. I can only be attracted to something that can protect me if I need it. That I can believe he is stronger than me if I need it. That’s what men were born to do is to protect the family and the woman. Just like women were born to bear children. It’s not a sexist thing it’s just nature so check your emotions at the door

  12. 132
    SG

    Hello, SG again having Googled the same thing again years later and once again stumbling across this and thinking oh yeah I wrote that thing!

    All a bit embarrassing five years on, I’m not sure I entirely agree with younger me.

    I just wanted to say it’s been helpful to read of others experiencing the same issue. It made me feel a little less like there was something wrong with me! Haven’t solved it yet unfortunately. I think the way I wrote the OP was emotionally driven and not entirely accurate. While I have dated conventionally handsome men, I wouldn’t say I am exclusively attracted to that. I have tried much harder to date more recently. I found some men sexually attractive which was really reassuring to know i can still do that, but struggling to find the right personality. I did have a short relationship after five years single but it was horrible. He wasn’t very nice to me at all looking back. I think I just got so sick of it I wanted to just try and love someone and blamed myself when I couldn’t, but I dont think he really made himself easy to love!

    Back to the drawing board and hoping to meet someone I gel with soon.

  13. 133
    Deanna

    I find almost no one my age attractive
    Ummm, excuse me but why should I be expected to f**k a guy who I don’t find attractive? If men were not ALWAYS trying to get into my pants so quick and actually took the time to get to know me so that I felt comfortable around them, spent time with me having fun and making an effort, then I could let my walls down and let him in. I don’t need a perfect 10. I know a guy who is a 7 and he is head over heels in love with me but is very sexually aggressive and pushy. He is not a great catch but he is just ehh okay. Should I lower my standards so that I am not alone? I am 51 years old, 5’7″, weigh 125 lbs C cup, very good body and I am told that I am sexy at least a couple times a week.
    I am really not trying to brag but I look like I am 40 years old and I know I can get a much better looking man interested in me because I blow up bumble with hot guys. The problem is that these hot guys are only looking for sexual gratification and I refuse to get used or worse yet, catch a STD from a guy who just doesn’t give a sh*t about me. Or settle for someone who is not stable and will not be there for me. Then I would get attached and hurt. By the way, what is it with all the short, fat, balding men with gross teeth? Like seriously, WTF? If you expect us pretty girls to let you crawl on top of us, then at least do everything you can do be more attractive! Yet we women are always supposed to be supermodel beautiful all the time with the unrealistic standards men have. Such hypocrisy

  14. 134
    Gloria

    So glad I found this thread! People have asked me the “lesbian” question too, but all of my crushes have been on boys back in the day, men for the last few decades. I rarely see men I’m attracted to, and it’s gotten worse since I’ve moved abroad. I’ve not seen ANY man who is my type! So I downloaded a few pictures of an actor I DO find attractive, LOL! Better to be alone than hope someone grows on you, and waste both your time!

  15. 135
    God

    Yikes, sounds like Mr. Katz took personal offense to this woman only being attracted to…. attractive men. The replies to this supposed woman give more away about Evan than they do about this woman and her intimacy issues.

    1. 135.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      That’s a very unusual reading of my response but okay.

  16. 136
    anon

    “While they will still lust for the hottest woman around, they’ll ultimately marry someone in their league, which, empirically, is not always that attractive.” …okay. You do realize that logically this means that THOSE WOMEN ARE ALSO MARRYING SOMEONE IN THEIR LEAGUE. So men and women generally are behaving the same way (ie lusting after the hot option but ending up with a partner who equals their own attractiveness). Your conclusion that this is a primarily male behavior…is…just nonsensical. And sexist.

    This syllogistic slip-up could be overlooked if you provided any other concrete evidence to support the “women are pickier” claim, but you don’t. 1) You seem to assume that the men in the OkCupid study you cite are representative of the broader population (and its normal distribution of attractiveness), but offer no evidence to confirm that, and 2) you provide no comparable study of men’s ratings of prospective matches. As far as your anecdotal experience goes, your job is apparently to counsel women who have a terrible time dating. Not exactly a randomized reflection of the field, is it? If women are opening their hearts and ruinous love lives up to you, please do a bit more self-reflection and critique before peddling this steaming platter of bullshit to them.

    1. 136.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      It’s usually not worth my time to respond to such mean-spirited comments but I’ll let this through and engage.

      a. You’re looking for a reason to fight. My comment about men marrying in their league was because of the original post by a woman. If a man had posted the original question, I would have said the same thing in reverse. Thus, it’s not sexist. It was the appropriate point for the questioner.

      b. Here’s a summary of the OKCupid study. And while OkCupid took down the original blog, the summary shows

      -Men on the site tend to be more generous than women when it comes to rating attractiveness, leading to a nice bell curve with the bulk of ratings falling around ‘average’.
      -Women, on the other hand, are harsh with their ratings. According to the study, they rate a whopping 80% of men on the site as ‘below average’.

      c. OkCupid has millions of people. It’s a big enough sample size that it’s likely representative of the larger population – unless you have strong evidence that it’s not.

      The defense rests. The only thing that’s bullshit is the fact that you’re attacking me because you don’t like what the study says about you.

  17. 137
    Andrey

    Man…I dont know how to tell you this, but your reasoning is incredibly flawed. First of all: the reason why “10” guys are cold to you and dont wanna commit is fprobably because they are out of your league. You seem to believe that you are very attractive because you have drawn male attention since you were 13, but guess what: thats what happens with almost every non-deformed girl and it means nothing. Good looking guys wanting you its also not the flex you think it is because any average girl can attract good looking guys, thats the nature of men. Judging by your experience, I would say that you are probably average looking, and thats why the 10’s you are chasing after will never ever commit to you cause man dont date below their leagues(but they for sure hookup). Its the cold, real truth. I dont really think you have a problem, you just dont know how the world works and the dynamics of men-women sexual relationships. The only way to solve your problems is lowering your standards to something closer to your own league, please dont waste your time trying to date too good looking men cause they wont commit to you, its men’s nature. Sorry if that was harsh, but its the truth.

  18. 138
    Charles

    I find it so hypocritical how the women on here bully the men that point out the negative traits of the women they’ve had experiences with when the women on here are literally calling men ugly. No wonder so many white men are starting families with Asian women. I see that the women commenting are so insecure because they are berating men, but as soon as a guy gives an opinion that doesn’t align with their belief system they go nuts and attack his manhood. SMH.

  19. 139
    Charles

    This is probably the best response I’ve read on here.

  20. 140
    jhon

    I think the answer you gave her was an awful misinterpretation of the situation. She’s not attracted to abusive men just attractive ones. The problem is that some attractive men will become cocky and cold because they know how desirable they are and therefore you’ll only be an option to them. You twisted this so much and made it look like she wants to date assholes. She was attracted to these men before she knew their personality so obviously it wasn’t their personality that drew her

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *