Movies, Concerts, Dinner, Coffee Are the Worst First Dates Ever.

tired woman on a coffee date

Movies, concerts, dinner, coffee are the worst first dates ever.

Do you agree or disagree?

What setting have you found to be the WORST for a first date?

What setting have you found to be the BEST for a first date?

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  1. 1

    Movies and concerts aren’t good first dates, in my mind, because you can’t carry on a conversation and get to know the other person. Coffee dates, as we’ve discussed in previous posts, are kind of lame, too. There’s nothing about meeting at a Starbucks that makes it seem like a date, nothing that makes you want to lean in, touch someone’s arm, or get a little more intimate if things are going well. It also makes me uncomfortable that at most coffee joints, you can hear everyone else’s conversations, and presumably, they can hear yours. As if first dates aren’t awkward enough!

    I like dinner, if I have a strong suspicion the date will go well. If I’m not sure, I usually try to meet for drinks. That way, if the date is not working, it’s a limited time investment with alcohol to dull the pain. If things look good, there’s the possibility of another drink or even extending the date into dinner.

  2. 2

    Hold on a sec, how did “dinner” make it onto this list?

    I mean, it’s certainly not an original idea, but it is a decent enough choice for a first date.

    As for the others – don’t know if I’d call them the WORST (what makes a date the worst, I think, is the company, not the venue / event), but they are definitely not very good options for a first date. The activity should be conducive to communication.

    My own worst first date was going to the movies WITH THE GUY’S FRIENDS. You might ask why I even agreed to go, but the truth is, I didn’t know his friends would be there, too (and that they would remain with us for the duration of the evening).

  3. 3

    A movie is OK if you follow it with something like drinks or dinner. You won’t get to spend a lot of time chatting during/before the movie, but it does give you something to talk about afterward over drinks or dinner, in case conversation is flagging.

  4. 4

    I disagree. I think meeting for dinner then going to a movie and then discussing the movie over drinks afterwards is a decent way to get to know someone. Depending on the movie, all sorts of interesting info can come out. I think the key with the movie date is that it’s not JUST the movies, that there is another activity involved as well.

    I’ve had a couple of cute dates (not first ones though) at Dave & Busters and those types of places (and no, i’m not a teenager!). It puts you in an environemnet where you can eat, drink and be playfully competitive at the same time.

    1. 4.1

      Lol, dinner then a movie then drinks sounds like a loooong first date. I’ve always prefered to keep dates to 2hrs for a first date, around 3 hours subsequently. I find we end up wishing the date could be longer and being eager to meet again, which is a nice way for the date to end. Maybe I just get tired fast.
      I definitely agree about Just a movie being a crummy date though

  5. 5

    @Cilla, I agree, meeting for drinks, with the possibility of extending into dinner, is a good first date option.

  6. 6

    A movie’s a big mistake on a first date. You can usually get a good feeling about your interest within the first 10 minutes or less. If you are not interested, you will now be stuck with them for a two hour movie. Even if you are unsure about how you feel, you won’t be able to speak to them during the movie.

  7. 7

    @JuJu, a movie with the guy’s friends is hardly ever a good idea! I remember back when I was dating Lance he called me and said, “meet me at the movies at 7:30.” I was excited because it was the release of a chick flick I’d been talking about for WEEKS and I thought he was surprising me. Well, he was…with his roommates and “28 Days Later.” Ugh!

  8. 8

    I agree on movies and dinner being bad first dates. I think drinks has to be best but there is a drawback there too. It’s a nice atmosphere, people can loosen up and talk. Only problem is people loosening up too much then you’re having sex in the car and you have to deal with that baggage. So, be careful of that. 🙂

  9. 9

    No to movies, can’t talk…

    My first dates usually are meeting for drinks, although alot this year have been dinner. I prefer to meet up for drinks because if it goes well, you can then move onto dinner and if not, you’re out!

    One of my gf’s just had the worst date of her life this past weekend. They met at a bookstore for coffee. He didn’t offer to buy her coffee and apparently was texting and answering calls from friends and suggested that they read some books while they were there!

    No to bookstores!

  10. 10

    Based on my own experience, the only way I’ll meet a man for the very first time is for coffee. There’s just too many things that can be wrong about a match-up — things that become apparent when you’re face-to-face..sometimes within about the first 17 seconds. I can still keep a positive attitude, even if I’m sure we’re not a match, and I try to take away something good from every meeting. But life’s too short to endure a significant stretch of time if you know it’s not a match. On the other hand, if you’re drinking your coffee & there’s a good vibe and you’re both obviously having a good time, there’s no reason you can’t move on to something else from there. If that happened, then the next time we got together, that would be the “first date.” The first date could be so many things, but it’s crucial that at some point in the date there be time & an environment for personal, more intimate communication. For example, going to a movie you both agree on, then going to a restaurant or nice bar afterward to talk & see what develops chemistry-wise. But I don’t want to have to yell to be heard above the din. That gets old really fast.

  11. 11

    I disagree about coffee. I rarely drink alcohol & I would much prefer to meet for coffee than for drinks. There are other coffeeplaces aside from Starbucks where I live so there is some choice. Dinner can be bad or good. I agree with JuJu-it’s more often the company rather than the venue that makes a date bad. I’ve only had a few really bad dates. One was coffee, one was dinner, and the other was a lunch date. The best date was one where we went to an outdoor market place and then the zoo.

  12. 12

    Jennifer Nov 10th 2008 at 11:32 am 4
    I disagree. I think meeting for dinner then going to a movie and then discussing the movie over drinks afterwards is a decent way to get to know someone.

    I agree, but not for a blind date, which is what meeting someone from an online dating site basically is.

  13. 13

    @Joanaa, post #6.
    I agree. It is even worse if you are sitting over a meal with someone who you find to be a bad mismatch.

  14. 14

    Unless you’re a teetotaler or recovering alcoholic, I think meeting for a couple drinks is a great first date. You can go to a nice, quiet, classy place; have some privacy at a table, the lighting’s low and that tends to relax people, as does (a little!) alcohol. More than two drinks is just a bad idea, but two is perfect. If you hit it off, you can order dinner and/or go for a walk someplace public. If you don’t, it’s a couple hours out of your life where at least you met someone new and maybe learned more about yourself.

    1. 14.1

      “a teetotaler or recovering alcoholic”….this was too funny!! hahahaha

  15. 15

    I actually like coffee dates because it’s very low-key and you can pull out easily if necessary, where there’s a bit more pressure for a romantic spark if you’re meeting in the evening for drinks. Also, I have a smoke allergy so unless we have a drink at a restaurant’s bar, the smoke can bother me. In terms of a concert or movie, so long as it’s attached to dinner or some other event where you can actually talk and get to know each other, then it’s fine. But you had best be pretty darn sure you’re going to enjoy spending time with the person, because you’ll be committing to a lot of it.

  16. 16

    I can honestly say I have had the BEST AND MOST EXCITING first date ever: the man flew me in a tiny private plane to Chico Hot Springs (Montana, where we live) and we had Sunday brunch. Top that. He was someone I had become familiar with over the years listening to his weekly radio show on our local station, where I was also a dj.

    Having said that, if I don’t have familiarity with someone, I don’t want my socks knocked off. I’d like to keep them on, thanks.

    Agree movies are a bad idea: too dark, too close. I tried this as a first date on two occasions, one with someone I knew, one with a new date. Both times awkward. Veto.

    I think something non-threatening like gallery walk, where you can move and talk and (before or after) sit and have a drink is best. You have things to talk about other than yourselves, and yet you can reveal things and ask questions, too.


  17. 17

    Movie and concerts are definitely out of the list. Worse ever for first dates!! Can’t even talk to each other, so what’s the point in having that first date anyways?!

    Dinner and coffee is good. I agree with many of the views here regarding these two.

  18. 18

    One of the best dates I ever had was dinner, movie, and then drinks. The movie was American Beauty so there was lots to talk about and discuss.

    Dinner can be bad depending on the date. If it’s good and there’s chemistry and connection, dinner’s fine. If, however, if you decide over the appetizer that you’d rather be anywhere else, you’ve got a very long dinner ahead of you.

    I think drinks are a good first date assuming you don’t overindulge.

  19. 19

    I would say going to the movies is not a great idea. Most of the others have said the same. How are you going to talk at the movies? Everything else, dinner, drinks, coffee would be fine for me. I agree that it is not the venue, but it is the person who you are with. I could take a walk in the park and if I hit it off with the guy I would enjoy it regardless.

  20. 20

    @Steve #12
    Good point!

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