You may think dating is a dirty word. Not when you do it my way. If you’ve ever struggled with attracting the “right” guys, getting second dates, or turning a hook-up into a boyfriend, my blog posts on dating will show you how to stop making the mistakes that have plagued you for your whole life.
It took me awhile but I finally outgrew the desire for butterflies – probably when I realized that butterflies had never been a good predictor of my future.
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We see a lot of this in the comments section – people so committed to the worldview that has led them to being single and unhappy – that when this blog challenges them, the only thing they can do is lash out at a guy who gives free dating advice on the internet.
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I have college friends who aren’t on there while their wives are. What does that say about their relationship? Nothing. There’s more in the article about algorithms that can predict your future, but here’s the reason I don’t believe in them: humans can’t predict their future.
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Of course, you’re going to have chemistry, romance, physical connection with a guy – that’s exactly what STARTS pretty much every relationship. But you’re playing the long game here – trying to find a lifetime partner, presumably – and your decision-making criteria has to change when you’re considering a future.
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I’m not interested in game-playing, refusing to return men’s calls, running late to keep him guessing or any such B.S. But from all my experience, I have yet to see much compelling evidence that pursuing a man the way women often like to be pursued is an effective strategy.
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There is nothing you could tell me about him or your relationship that would change my feeling. You can tell me he buys you flowers, rubs your feet, and cures cancer on the side. Doesn’t matter. He’s an avoidant timebomb waiting to explode.
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Finally, I’ll remind you that a camera only capture what’s actually there. Which is to say that if you look good in a photo, you look exactly that way in real life. Please don’t continue to believe false and negative things about your own looks; it’s disempowering. You may be the cute cheerleader’s friend, but guess what? Guys find her attractive, too!
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Without anger, judgment, or attachment to the outcome, let him know you want to have a household meeting to go through your respective earnings and expenses. Anything you have left over, you can keep in your own bank account and spend according to your own desires.
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The first iPhone would be released later that year. Texting was around but it wasn’t ubiquitous. Same with Facebook. Instagram came around in 2010. Tinder didn’t launch until 2012. And here we are, as lonely and disconnected as ever. Social media sites that were designed to connect us now cause an equal amount of pain and confusion.
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I hope you challenged yourself on what you can do differently, and on understanding how men really think. No matter what, I remain committed to staying in touch with you and giving you as much valuable information as I can in my weekly newsletters, blog posts and podcasts.
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Brilliant! Once you understand where men are coming from, which I would not have been able to do without the help of "Why He Disappeared," it is very simple! I have never felt so relaxed around him, he knows this and wants to spend more time with me. His choice!
I am in such a better place today because of your insights and inspirational guidance. I was so stuck on getting him back, but now I realize that I don’t want him back! I deserve someone who will love me unconditionally, no matter what.
“Why He Disappeared” made me feel like I was in control of my love life and that it was not in control of me. Now I'm VERY happy with myself and my relationship. I can relax and not stress about the future, I'm enjoying the here and now and its so much FUN!
If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!
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