You may think dating is a dirty word. Not when you do it my way. If you’ve ever struggled with attracting the “right” guys, getting second dates, or turning a hook-up into a boyfriend, my blog posts on dating will show you how to stop making the mistakes that have plagued you for your whole life.
Don’t say that to the woman who thinks that if she’s a self-made millionaire, she “deserves” to date a man who makes more.
And definitely don’t say anything to the millions of starry-eyed lovers who think that long-distance relationships are a good idea.
This New York Times piece by Kim Tingley (great name, if you’re writing about sex!) tried to come off as neutral but the structure of the piece – specifically the beginning and end – make it clear that the author very much WANTS men and women’s brains to approach sex similarly and DOESN’T want to discover that men and women are different.
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Was there ANY point in this story where he was kind? Patient? Sensitive? Thoughtful? Put your feelings first? Showed that he’d be a giving and willing partner? Demonstrated the kind of character you’d want to pass along to your children?
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“Often, when driven people care about something and finally experience whatever they’ve been hoping to achieve — whether it’s a new relationship, a health goal, a promotion or something else altogether — they’re unable to entirely savor the good times. They may, in fact, do the exact opposite: endlessly worry about when their peak might plummet.”
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This is HIS problem and if you think you’re scared, believe me, he’s even MORE scared. And, just like being a parent to a child who is fearful, the best thing you can do is provide reassurance that everything is going to be okay. He’s already feeling vulnerable and thinking all the same thoughts that you are – except he’s really beating up on himself.
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I can only imagine how hard that is on you – and can only imagine how deeply you must feel about this woman for you to forgo all other possibilities for two decades. But here’s the thing, Michael: fantasy is not reality. The woman you have a crush on is now married.
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I have read your post about trusting the boyfriend who keep in touch with an Ex. While I completely agree with your take on trust, I’d like your input on my situation. My ex and I had a fantastic time together
Read More… 2 comments But desire is something that’s more primal – a drive towards sex – that makes a couple’s physical relationship to a whole new level. The hard part is that desire usually drops due to hedonic adaption – the longer you have something, the less you desire it.
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Personality – from my reading and observation – is a lot more nature than nurture. This is not to suggest that people can’t grow and evolve, but rather, their basic personalities stay largely the same. Introverts rarely turn into extroverts. Narcissists rarely turn into humble servants. Cheaters rarely turn into faithful partners. And so on.
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Summer, 2000. I’m out to dinner, in West Hollywood, with the most physically attractive woman I’ve ever dated. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months. She lives with her Mom an hour away and is currently unemployed. I’m a struggling writer with big ambitions and a desire to love and be loved. We’re lonely and dysfunctional but passionate.
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John texts me crazy wonderful love texts to start and end every day. The roses are never from the grocery store...the Christmas presents were thoughtful and perfect. And I am wrapped in his wonderful love.
He was gentle, tough, hugely insightful and extremely accurate at decoding a man's words, his actions, his lack of action, his likely intentions. It was like having a direct line to a man's "private talk."
I also discovered that I could attract a ton of quality men, in no time at all, if I needed to go back out there. It's a relief to know I have options. But really, I'm very, very much in love. THIS is the relationship I want, and I have it!
If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!
Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.