Mattie is 54.
She’d been married twice – including the most recent one for 22 years – and has had a few short-term relationships after her divorce.
All of her trial and error led Mattie to believe that something was wrong with her – that it was her fault these men were not sticking around.
You’ve probably experienced the same thing.
After a certain number of dates, you tend to internalize these ideas:
a) There’s something wrong with me.
b) There’s something wrong with men.
That’s what Mattie thought when she came to me.
Then she started embracing my coaching philosophies from Love U:
What happened next was a 180-degree turnaround from her previous 54 years:
Since I was 16 years old, I’ve longed for a lifetime love, someone who loves me as deeply as I love him. But all my relationships failed. Too many times, I fell fast and hard and loved a man more than he loved me. Or, I just never liked him very much.
I’m not a materially wealthy woman but I’ve been basically content with my life…However, when I started online dating, I did so knowing I’d achieved every major goal I’d set for myself—except one. I still had not found a true life partner.
Eventually, it became clear to me that your advice is the bomb. You don’t suggest dating gimmicks, tricks and formulas. Instead, you helped me understand how men think. Your book, “Why He Disappeared,” showed me all the mistakes I’d been making with men, including the two partners I’d briefly dated after separating and including my ex-husband who I married after a two-month courtship—before we really knew each other.
“Finding the One Online” prompted me to get professional photos taken and to rewrite my dating profile. As a result, not a week went by without men on Match, Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid telling me my profile was the best they’d ever read. Sometimes these men weren’t even looking to date me. They just wanted to compliment my profile and photos and tell me that whoever won me over would be a lucky man.
However, I also was honest with myself about the idea of have a long courtship. At my age, and as a Nichiren Buddhist, while praying, I realized I didn’t want to wait months before knowing a man was my life partner. My MO has always been to “just know,” which, in the past, had always failed me. But I felt I was running out of time. Not only that, I had a personal example of how “just knowing” could work: my parents, who married two months after meeting and stayed happily married for 67 years.
So, I prayed that I would “just know” and feel spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically attracted to a man who would feel the same for me and that we’d stay together for life. Since you said that only 5% of relationships that start off with high chemistry last, I prayed to be in the 5%, believing anything is possible so I might as well pray for what I really want.
However, I still followed your dating suggestions. I messaged and dated men for whom I didn’t feel strong chemistry. I ignored the positives and believed the negatives. I quickly and politely dumped men whose actions (not calling, only texting, not asking for second dates at the end of the first), indicated that they were not that into me. And I kept this up day after day, even when I was frustrated and felt like taking a break from dating. I kept praying and repeatedly lifted myself out of despair by telling myself that as long as I didn’t give up, I’d find my man.
After several months of your coaching, I began to understand your philosophy. I realized that I was leader who wanted a leader as a life partner. I saw that, since I wanted a leader, I’d have to let him lead. This was the exact opposite of how I behaved with my ex-husband, even though, I believe had we known each other better before getting married, we would have chosen not to marry because our fundamental values are so different.
I used to have a long list of what I sought in a mate. It included him being a college graduate. But after reading you advice, I whittled my list down to: We are strongly compatible. He correctly uses capitalization, periods and apostrophes in his dating profile, which was an indication that he can hold a conversation, even if I have to give him a few prompts to get him going. He is consistent in that he treats me very well, does what he says he will do, calls me daily and takes the time to see me and take me out throughout the week. He’s proud to have me meet his friends and family members. Then there was this: He has to be at least 5’ 8.” I’m 5’ 5.”
The day I decided to follow your advice about giving shorter men a chance and changed my height requirement to at least 5’ 7”, I changed my life.
That day I messaged a 5’ 7” 55 year-old high school graduate alpha male. He has been divorced twice and has three adult children.
Evan, he is so much more than I prayed for. He was on the verge of giving up on online dating because he’d only been messaged by scammers seeking money. I was the first real message he’d gotten.
At my request, instead of meeting immediately like he wanted to do, he called me daily for a week. We talked for almost two hours each night. He texted me throughout the day. As you advised, I never initiated contact but responded enthusiastically when he did. By the time we went on our first date, it was like our second or third date. He’s repeatedly thanked me for slowing him down that first week because we got to know each other and because of that, on our first date, he wasn’t as nervous as he would have ordinarily been had we not talked.
He’s Pentecostal and had been praying to meet a woman just like me. He called me crying on the phone one night telling me how happy I make him feel and how much he loves me. He was kind of embarrassed about crying. But I told him it was so sweet. No man has ever shed tears of joy over me and I love the fact that he is sensitive and free with his emotions, while also being highly masculine. I told him so. He’s flat out given me quite a bit of money. When I commented on his generosity, he said I’m the one who’s generous.
Evan, he asked me to marry him. I told him we’ll have to wait until my 16-year-old daughter, who lives with me, graduates from high school in a year and a half. He said to think of him as my husband and ask him for whatever I need and he’ll provide it. Like my father often said about my mother, my man tells me he is “satisfied” with me.
I haven’t changed who I am—far from it. Because of your advice, Evan, I’ve become a better mate than I ever was and I’ve embraced my feminine side. This feels wonderful and so liberating. So wonderful, in fact, that even if this relationship ends, I know I have the ability to attract another good man, the type of man I want. I have evidence of this because my man is the third partner I’ve had since my separation and each one has treated me better than the last.
Meanwhile, I’m focused on making the best of every moment with my man. I feel free and relaxed and confident in our relationship, not like I felt in past relationships—worried and anxious because I didn’t know what he’s thinking and wondered if he’d leave me.
Thank you so much, Evan, for helping me become a woman who can bring this kind of happiness into my life. I tell everyone how much you rock. My man approves of this message. He told me to thank you for helping us meet and to let your readers know what you’ve done for us. 🙂
Mattie spent DECADES wasting time on the wrong men.
With my help, she found the right guy less than a year later.
What did I tell her that turned her life around?
What specific tips did I offer?
How could I get Mattie to stop her cycle of investing in the wrong men and berating herself for months afterwards?
How could I take a jaded woman at the end of her rope and help her find a marriage-oriented man who treated her like gold?
There were two main things that I taught Mattie that turned her love life around.
The ONE way to determine if a man is WRONG for you.
And the ONE way to determine if a man is RIGHT for you.
If you’d like to learn the same thing, join me for a special free webinar entitled, “How You Can Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong Men and Finally Choose Your Husband.”
In addition to learning the two tips that helped Mattie find love, you will also learn:
- • The only thing you have to alter to find lasting love (and it’s not your looks or your personality!)
• The biggest lie ever perpetrated by parents, couples, counselors, clergy members and self-help gurus.
• The all-important definition of a good relationship. If you don’t know this, it’s no surprise that good relationships have been hard to come by.
This webinar is the biggest event I’ve ever done but unfortunately, there’s only room for 2000 people in the webinar.
That may sound like a lot, but I have 60,000 women subscribed to this newsletter, so register now to ensure that you get your coveted slot.
This is a tremendous opportunity to get high-value coaching that will get you what Mattie has from her fiance:
• Daily texts, emails and phone calls.
• A man who wants to commit after less than a month of dating.
• Regular time with each other’s friends and families.
• Consistent talk about the future.
In other words, you do not want to miss this free webinar that gives you a shot of confidence and the keys to a successful relationship – in just 90 minutes.
Warmest wishes and much love,
P.S. If you somehow missed my posts over the past week, don’t forget to click below to watch my videos with 6 of my favorite tips from Love U.
Soon, you’ll learn everything you need to know about confidence, meeting men, dating, understanding men, relationships, and commitment.