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Maybe you’re a football fan. Maybe not.
But 112 million people watched the Super Bowl last Sunday and a good portion kept their eyes glued to the halftime show starring Coldplay, Beyonce and Bruno Mars.
With such talent, showmanship, and money, you never know what you’re going to get from these musical spectaculars.
Katy Perry riding an inflatable shark?
Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction?
Prince playing a strangely phallic guitar in silhouette?
Alas, this year was relatively tame — until the very end, when everyone in the entire stadium held up colored cards that, from above, spelled out “Believe in Love.”
Many have suggested that this was a massive statement in support of same-sex marriage — all the colors of the rainbow represented.
Yeah, that could be the case, but personally, I think it’s a sign that I was onto something very big when I wrote my favorite book, Believe in Love.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re young or old, or black or white or Hispanic or Asian, or Christian or Muslim or Jewish or agnostic, or gay or straight or trans…
We ALL deserve to love and be loved.
I know how much love has disappointed you in the past — and I know how tempting it is to toss in the towel and resign yourself to being alone.
Just know that if the good folks at the NFL saw fit to promote believing in love to 112 million people, I think it’s obvious that it’s an idea worth considering.
And if not, it was one incredible coincidence that you got a televised reminder to believe in love during the exact same week of my 50% off Believe in Love sale. ïŠ
Now, let’s get to the meat of this important message, which is not about me, but about YOU. As much as I’d like to think I’m a good storyteller, I also know when it’s time to step aside and let someone else grab the mic. Today, I’m giving the floor to Elaine.
I’ve been fortunate to have had thousands of success stories, but, believe it or not, my greatest satisfaction doesn’t come from client engagements.
My purest joy comes from witnessing women grow and gain confidence, so that they are empowered to make better relationship choices on their own, without further coaching. Getting married is just a byproduct of that process.
So try to imagine my thrill when I received this email the other morning:
I have, just this morning, gotten out of a four-week relationship. I met Sam right at the holidays and we clicked. Had a wonderful New Year’s. Had wonderful dates. This morning, he packed his overnight case and left my place…and I am more than okay with that.
For the first time in my life, I dated with confidence, understanding, giving, tolerance, and complete acceptance. And you know what? It didn’t work with this guy. But I feel good because I did everything you teach in your posts and books and everything you taught me when we worked together every other week.
So what happened? Quite simply, he imploded with insecurity. He didn’t like himself very much and he couldn’t fathom how someone like me could possibly be interested in him. He did not understand what I saw in him. And really, he did need quite a lot of reassurance. He did not have much going on in his life. No friends here–even though he moved here 3 1/2 years ago. No real activities other than solo bike riding. Didn’t know how to cook a thing. Didn’t know to help with clean up. Was fairly passive and not proactive. Was shy in social situations. Didn’t read or travel much. Worked from home so didn’t have a lot of social interaction. More of an introvert.
But I saw a sweet, sensitive man, who had a good heart. He had a nice sense of humor and was handsome to me even though he was pretty short. And when we talked, it felt easy and comfortable. I went for quality things, rather than superficial things. And I am proud I did. Because not only did I focus on feeling good around him, rather than his bank account, I really accepted him as he was.
Even though he was more introverted, I did not jump in and take over. I hung back and let him lead, even though he was slow to do so. I did nothing and then said “yes”.
Now I have learned something even more valuable that you have spoken of yourself: You cannot love someone who doesn’t love himself. You cannot have a happy relationship with a person who is not a happy person.
So when he imploded this morning into a mess of “I’m not good enough for you”, “You’ve been too generous and giving to me”, I recognized it for what it was – his excuses to not deal with his own self. When he stormed around and said he was going to go, I let him go. I have no heartbreak or sadness. I felt surprisingly relieved when he left, and so darned good about how I did all of this so differently! I actually did the “Accept him in totality” thing and the “Do nothing and let him lead” thing. It feels good that I accomplished that.
As a result, even though I’m still single, I feel even more assured in my ability to find a quality man (although now I will look for someone that seems happy with himself too). I got back onto Match an hour after he left, and sent an email to a guy I had loosely emailed with over a month ago. We had talked about meeting, then I turned it down due to meeting Sam. He replied right away and asked me to lunch today. I am surprised, but pleased too.
Thank you for teaching me how to date with confidence, and to be giving and accepting in total. Even though Sam was the wrong guy, I know how much I did it right this time – and that has made me feel relieved he exited, not at all down or discouraged. If anything, I feel super encouraged.
Let me ask you: have you EVER sounded this positive after a break-up?
I doubt it.
If you’re like most women, immediately after a breakup, you probably:
- – Got really angry with the guy.
- – Got really angry with yourself.
- – Questioned your judgment in choosing men.
- – Spent a lot of time venting about men and dating in general.
- – Wondered if there were any quality guys out there.
- – Decided to take a semi-permanent hiatus from men and Match.
That’s not what Elaine did.
Because Elaine had followed my advice, she had a much more positive and effective reaction to her disappointing four-week courtship.
- – She knew she did the best she could do.
- – She saw the writing on the wall within the first month.
- – She let him go and didn’t turn back.
- – She didn’t beat herself up for a moment.
- – She got right back online and procured a date in less than an hour.
That’s how it’s done, y’all.
If you don’t handle dating the way Elaine handles dating, this is your big opportunity to learn how.
In Believe in Love — 7 Steps to Letting Go of Your Past, Embracing the Present and Dating with Confidence — I will help you drop your negativity, overcome your fear of being hurt, and bring your best self to dating — thereby attracting a high quality man in the process.
Believe in Love is a 240-page ebook, a 6-hour audio, a 65-page workbook, and three hours of bonus coaching calls.
You get it, during my Valentine’s Day week sale, for 50% off the regular price with a 100% no-questions-asked money back guarantee.
Believe in Love costs less than a nice dinner.
Its effects will be felt in your life FOREVER.
Even if you only get ONE nugget of advice that makes you view men, dating, or yourself differently, it is well worth the small investment.
Soon, you will handle dating like Elaine — poised, confident, optimistic and on a straight path to lasting love.
The sale ends on Sunday night!
Warmest wishes and much love,
P.S. Here’s another reader on why it’s so important for you to believe in love:
I am twice divorced (2 marriages under 5 years each) and have been dating for 12 years, hoping to find the right person to go the distance with, but always picking the wrong ones in the end. I am going to be 50 this year, on long-term disability and I really would like to have a supportive love partner, not just a casual hook-up or short-term relationship.
I had originally heard you speak on a Love Summit last summer and loved your humor and frank advice. I signed up for your blog & newsletter then purchased Why He Disappeared and Why He Disappeared Online. After continuing to absorb your advice, I joined FOCUS Coaching during your 5-year Anniversary and participated in the calls & Forum. From there, I purchased your e-Cyrano profile writing package and Finding The One Online and Believe in Love.
So, I’ve literally been eating, breathing & sleeping EMK info for about 9 months, all the while continuing to date several men I met both online & while out.
I met 4 guys in January and continued to follow your advice such as the 2/2/2, mirroring, don’t overthink, being the CEO of my own company, waiting until I had a boyfriend to sleep with anyone (a major mistake in my past), giving guys who I might never consider a chance and letting them know how much I appreciated them after each date, but being honest if I just didn’t feel we were a match.
Happily, I felt a great connection & energy with one particular man (Andy). After following all your steps, I had myself a boyfriend after 2 months. He is sweet, caring, giving, thoughtful, sexy and we laugh like crazy. He is also Jewish (I’m Christian), shorter than me when I wear heels (he’s confident & it doesn’t bother him) and a bit OCD with neatness (a first for me with a man).
Would I have considered him prior to finding you and all of your great advice?
Probably not! So, I have learned to let go of what you think you MUST have and go with the person that makes you FEEL the best. We are now at the 3 and a half month mark and going strong. He has asked me to go to Italy with him in the fall and is constantly “future-talking.” I am hoping that this eventually ends the way I want it to — marriage!
I am constantly quoting “Evan-speak” to my girlfriends who are dating. They tell me I should start my own relationship blog for dating advice to women. I just refer them to your website because I can’t take the credit!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Evan!
Jean has been eating, breathing, and sleeping EMK info for 9 months and turned it into a boyfriend who is taking her to Italy and talking about a future.
Wouldn’t you like to feel that kind of love and devotion?
I’ll bet you would.