Where Are All the Cute, Stable, Successful, Funny, Interesting Men?

Where Are All the Cute, Stable, Successful, Funny, Interesting Men?

I hope you don’t find me to sound conceited or picky, but anyway I am hoping you can help me here. I am a 34-year-old single mom with a beautiful one year old daughter from a previous relationship that didn’t work out because my ex BF didn’t want the baby. I have never been married.

I am bothered by the fact that I’ve never been married. I SO desire to get married within the next couple of years or so, but I want it to be with the right person. I wish I was married about 5 years ago or so.  Like virtually all women, I would like to have my “princess day” of getting married before I go completely gray and I look too old. I am also very worried that if I don’t get married soon enough while my baby is young, she will never have a father figure in the picture whom she can comfortably bond with.

I believe I am reasonably attractive and on the “cute” side. I am five feet tall, a little over 100 pounds, and have very long dark hair.  But, to this day I have a hard time finding the right guy. I don’t feel any chemistry when I’m not with a guy I find equally attractive.  Sure, of course personality counts, but I just don’t feel comfortable with kissing a guy whom I don’t find attractive.

To sum things up, over the years I’ve found that the guys who are interested in dating me are either too “geeky” looking and unattractive, too old, or, if they ARE my age and I find them attractive– they don’t seem stable in life and don’t have a good job OR they’re just plain conceited jerks (like my baby’s father). I’m not kidding. I’ve been trying online dating with several different sites, but that hasn’t worked out for me.

Why am I having such a hard time in finding someone who is mutually interested in me whom I find attractive, who holds a steady decent job AND has a decent personality?  I don’t think I’m asking for too much here, or am I? Should I force myself to be in a relationship with someone whom I don’t find terribly attractive and I don’t feel any chemistry with (whom I just don’t want to be “intimate” with?).


Dear Paula,

We covered this recently, but since you speak for a lot of women out there, I wanted to try to tackle your question in a slightly different way.

First of all, I want to validate all of the women who feel just like Paula does. I know it’s not always easy to hear the other side of things – or even consider that there IS another side of things – but we’re here to try to get down to a core truth. This isn’t about right and wrong; this is about effective and ineffective. If your goal is to get married and find a father for your baby, you always have to keep that in mind.

If you want someone stable and kind and attractive and tall and personable and age-appropriate and financially well-off, and you can’t seem to find him? Maybe you need to compromise on SOMETHING.

And I think that’s where the Lori Gottlieb critics went a bit astray. See, if your primary desire is to lead an exciting, passionate life, then, well, you go, girl. But if you want someone stable and kind and attractive and tall and personable and age-appropriate and financially well-off, and you can’t seem to find him? Maybe you need to compromise on SOMETHING. You can transpose the world “settle” for compromise, if you like, but we’re talking about the same thing here: giving up one thing to get something else….

My girlfriend is compromising by dating an opinionated, Jewish atheist who spends way too much time working, talking about ex’s and complaining about all the things wrong in his life. What she gets in return is a guy who is pretty self-aware, always trying to get better, has a good work ethic and excellent family values. She could spend her time lamenting that I’m not athletic enough, cheery enough, or free enough to take vacations at the drop of a hat, but she doesn’t. She has compromised – and, some might say, settled. After all, there are probably some tall, attractive, wealthy, Catholic men looking for a super-cool woman. And yet she chooses me.

I know, Paula, that you feel that you’re talking about something else. You’re talking about men who are old, unattractive, boring, unstable – dealbreakers all. But as I tell my clients, you can be as choosy as you like, as long as you don’t choose yourself out of all your options.

An example from the other side of the aisle:

My rich 56-year-old client wants a hot 35-year-old woman who not only doesn’t want kids, but can pick up and travel on a dime on his private jet. This means she can’t have a serious job, or be too tethered to her friends, and must be willing to move to his area. Oh yeah, and he’s not looking for a trophy – intelligence, class and poise are a must. There’s nothing wrong with what this man wants, but when he factors in:

How few 35 year olds truly want 56 year olds

How few 35 year olds don’t want kids/don’t have kids

How few intelligent women don’t have careers or deep roots in their hometowns

Guess what? There’s virtually NO one left for this guy to choose from. So what do you tell this successful, intelligent, youthful man to do? Say it with me, ladies: COMPROMISE! Go out with an older women. Give a little on the kids thing. Accept the fact that an intelligent woman might have a career and can’t travel spontaneously. This seems REALLY obvious from the outside, but hey, this guy REFUSES to settle. The heart wants what the heart wants. It just seems pretty clear that starting with such a narrow dating pool makes it next to impossible to find someone compatible.

So ask yourself – are you being reasonable with your desires/demands? It’s not my place to say. But play with the percentages and you’ll see. You might think you’re really open, until you realize that 99% of the men in the world DON’T QUALIFY for a first date with you. The charismatic cute guys are emotionally vacant players with money issues, the geeky guys are too bland to be kissable. This is YOUR observation. These are YOUR judgments.

Thus, you have two choices – lower the bar – or steadfastly hold out for that 1% – and hope that coincidentally, that 1% feels that you’re in HIS 1%.

We want everything – and want to give up nothing to get it.

As always, there’s not a right and wrong. But if you really want to be married and find a father figure for your baby, you might have to give up something to get it.

It just seems that no one wants to compromise. We want everything – and want to give up nothing to get it. If you’re a lawyer, refusal to compromise is a terrible negotiating technique. If you’re looking for lasting companionship, it’s probably even worse.

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  1. 91
    Evan Marc Katz

    Fair points, guys. Please tone down the anger. It doesn’t serve you well in your arguments. You’d be as well-served to acknowledge and understand women’s P.O.V. as they’d be well-served to acknowledge and understand yours. Nothing is gained from shouting across the aisle.

    With that, I’m going to Sinai Temple tonight to see Lori Gottlieb speak about her article on “settling” (i.e. compromising). Should be a great debate, and my girlfriend and I are going to be first in line to defend her from the inevitable attacks.

    Play nice ’til I get home.


  2. 92

    to Eda,

    Your post made me smile. You wrote, “The problem is that these men let a few seconds(minutes if they are lucky) of pleasure rule them”. I agree with you, on the “few seconds,” mostly, I have found, that, women that “know how” to prolong the few seconds are far and few.

  3. 93

    Vino hit it on the head but to just re-iterate:

    She simply wants more than what she is worth and she wants it too badly.

    Regarding her worth, we have only her word that she is that attractive. The petite and around 100 pounds does sound slim but if she is flabby despite that (and gravity starts to hit those in their mid 30’s)…

    Men want, at least initially, youth and fertility- Paula is severely compromised here at her age.

    She also has baggage- another man’s child with her own baggage- a still living father. This is dropping her value through the floor because most men don’t want to raise another man’s child- it’s counter intutive to the procreation of that man’s genetic code to spend resources, time, and energy on another man’s spawn. Heck, when the alpha is overthrown, his children will often be killed on this principle and indeed is a big reason why many children are abused by the mother’s new boyfriend.

    As a sidenote, yes I do wonder as others have if she “oops” to trap the boyfriend into marriage and I wouldn’t want to risk being next.

    Paula wants the alpha male, the top prize but she is not one herself. Who she wants can get someone 10 years younger, without a child, and possibly even with the “me me me” that she has displayed. Everything in her article is what she wants but not on what she can give beyond her fading looks.

    Her time has passed her by- compromise and settle for the beta provider.

  4. 94

    Count me out of the pool of avaiable men.

    I am one of a growing number of males who have determined that life without a female in it is superior.

    Many reasons for this, too many to mention here.

    I don’t feel sorry for females wanting a hubby but can’t get one.

    Too many females with their inane actions and inactions have ruined things for all females.

    As others suggest…

    try a cat.

  5. 95

    There’s a re reason that a committed relationship is called ‘settling down.’

    If you dont wanna settle down then dont settle.

    1. 95.1

      it’s called settling down because you stop looking around. It doesn’t mean you have to commit to someone you think less of. That’s not good for anyone.

      Desperate people commit to the first person who accepts them, that’s what leads to so many divorces. Get to know eachother

  6. 96

    Sorry if my answer has already been covered. I just don’t have the time to read over 90 responses. So here goes:

    I am not within your desired population of men. I am an older guy, but as a result, I am more intelligent and experienced than most.

    As a general rule, intelligent men look for intelligent women. Furthermore, intelligent men look for a woman who they perceive will be a good mother to their children. Furthermore, while intelligent, financially healthy men don’t mind spending money on a girlfriend’s/wife’s kids while the relationship/marriage is ongoing, they abhor having to continue having to pay after the breakup, regardless of the circumstances. They consider that to be a form of slavery.

    Based on your willingness to have a child by a man who didn’t want one, you show yourself to be a very selfish woman who cares not for the total welfare of the child or the man you had the child with. Your overriding concern was of your own desires. Bad girlfriend material! Bad wife material! And finally bad mother material!

    The above selfishness would lead an intelligent man to foresee you as a woman who could very likely expect him to pay child support even after a breakup if the relationship lasted a while. The family court would most often take your side based on the excuse that it was doing what was in the best interest of the child. All that has to happen to justify such child support these days is for him to act like the child’s father in his actions (financially supporting the child is sufficient). So based on your past actions, you are now off-limits to virtually all intelligent, informed men.

    I suggest you’ll probably have to settle/compromise by accepting men who are just not intelligent and as a result, don’t care at all about your unmitigated selfishness.

    The success of a marriage between you and an intelligent man, in my opinion, would be so unlikely to last as to be totally ridiculous to even attempt. And since men these days are punished so severely in so many instances when their marriage fails, why would any intelligent man even go near a woman like you?

  7. 97
    Michael Ejercito

    Whenever I meet a woman I might want to continue contacting, I ask her if she has ever been married and ever had kids.

    1. 97.1

      Their loss. They missed out on such an amazing man. Tell me when you come down from your pedestal.

  8. 98

    As soon as anyone makes a proclamation like “too many women are conniving gold-diggers” or “all men are shallow, sex-obsessed liars” or “, s/he closes the door on ever finding happiness in romance. No one could possibly be a functioning member in a healthy relationship with an attitude like that. Frankly, I find the pronouncements against the opposite sex made by some folks on this blog stupid and sickening, whether they come from men or women.

    I see little point of spending time on a dating advice blog if you feel hostile towards the persons you want to date. Does anyone else see the pure illogic of it? If you’re here for dating advice, but if you can’t – at the very minimum – acknowledge that the people you want advice on dating are basically good and decent despite their imperfections, then I’d say you’re pretty confused.

  9. 99

    Correction to my above sentence:

    As soon as anyone makes a proclamation like too many women are conniving gold-diggers or all men are shallow, sex-obsessed liars or “(insert any negative overgeneralization about the opposite sex here)”, s/he closes the door on ever finding happiness in romance.

  10. 100
    Hat Pines

    What about simply pretending that the people whom you are dating are good and decent when you are with them?

    Let us be practical here, folks. Despite their flaws, other people have their uses.

  11. 101

    Make your bed, lie in it.

    Some people are reckless and foolish about important aspects of their life. Time cures short-sightedness. Complaining along the way seems to help pass th time.

    She’s stuck, he’s stuck, with/without this, that and the other. So what. They done what they did.

    At a wild guess, l reckon the vast majority of people are not inclined to such recklessness regarding the question of bringing a human into this world. Most manage to do a pretty good job of managing their reproductivity.

    Single parents exist. So what. What’dya expect with such a higher relationship failure rate. Its been lke this for a few decades now. Hardly a surprise.

  12. 102
    Jim Peters

    Well, as far as the 56 year old guy that wants a 35 year old woman. He can get a 20 year old Mexican woman that will fit the bill. I just don’t see a reason why he should compromise.

    1. 102.1

      Anyone, man or woman can buy sex with a hotter and younger man/woman. We can’t buy love or a real personal connection either.

  13. 103
    Happy One

    Wow…this was certainly an interesting comment thread! What did one person call it? a car wreck? That seems apt….

    Look bottom line here is ‘Paula’ is asking for far more than she’s worth on the marriage market. If she were a house she’d be considered over-valued and having a significant lien against her, not to mention the prospect of needing a lot of maintenance… In a buyer’s market that house would not sell well, unless the asking price were lowered to meet the realities of the market.

    Right now the marriage market is a buyer’s market for men. This is simply the new reality created by the massive numbers of divorces over the last two or three decades and the swift changes that have resulted from that. Fact is the vast majority of divorces are initiated by women and much like the birth control thread men have very little say in the subject beyond being careful with whom they get involved with.

    I’m sorry if this sounds cold. I’m actually a guy in ‘Paula’s’ age range but one she disqualified by her demand for someone not too “geeky” looking. It’s demands like this that cause her to miss out on finding stable successful funny and interesting. The sad truth of the matter is most men recognize their physical appearance isn’t something that they can “win” a woman over with, so they labor to become stable, financially secure, they try to be funny and interesting–only to discover women don’t want that in a MATE. They want the “bad boys” who will trat them with disrespect and make the women “earn” their man over and over again. Those wonderful qualities mentioned above, that the “nice guys” labor to develop? Women only seem to want those from neutered male “best friends” that they just don’t see THAT way…

    I’ll bet if ‘Paula” were to look around her right now she’d realize there were several unmarried men who fit all of her qualifications
    except the physical attractiveness standard. These are the guys she goes to after a particularly bad date with one of the “bad boys” who make her heart pitter-patter. These are the guys who are always available to help her out if she has a car problem or if she needs something moved. These are the guys she looks to for everything else BUT marriage.

    In short, I think the problem really is with her and her rather unrealistic evaluation of her worth against her liabilities. And I’m sorry but to men having a baby IS a liability when being asked to embark on a new relationship with someone.

    One thing for sure though is she should definitely NOT “force [herself] to be in a relationship with someone whom [she doesn’t] find terribly attractive and [she doesn’t] feel any chemistry with (whom [she] just [doesn’t] want to be “intimate” with?).” If she goes through with that insane plan all that will happen is she will lure some poor unsuspecting slob into a sex-less marriage which will end up in divorce from infidelity on either of their parts sooner than later.

    –Happy One

  14. 104

    To sheseizereason:

    “Too many women are conniving gold diggers” is certainly not an over generalization. It’s a fact. If that statement had read instead that all women are gold diggers, that would have been an over generalization and a horse of a different color. After all, what percentage of women in this country still expect a man to pay for her on dates even though women no longer are expected to stay at home and not enter the workforce, no longer have restrictions on the jobs they can seek, go to and graduate from college in much larger numbers than men do, and are constantly complaining that they want more “equality”? This is gold digging, whether these women wish to admit it (of course they won’t) or not. It’s so much easier and convenient to claim that the one who asks, pays. Right? Do you use that same claim when you go out with your girlfriends?

    Just about all rational men, I’m sure, would admit that there are a few women here and there in this country who aren’t gold diggers, but why bother looking for them? The odds are so against being able to reliably pick them out of the crowd considering women’s propensity for spouting the tried and true politically correct lines during dating, why bother when there are so many non-gold digging foreign born women available here and overseas.

    The availability of foreign women, the fact that more and more men in this country are seeking them out, and the fact that marriages to them are so much more successful on average, why would any intelligent man seek out a woman from this country? Only the ones who still think that the women of this country are the only game in town are still looking here. Don’t believe this? Three years ago, Congress passed a law that makes it more cumbersome, more time-consuming, more expensive, and even more dangerous for men to even try to start a conversation with a foreign woman over the internet. Ha! ha! The women of this country are definitely having more trouble finding decent men because so many of the decent men here are looking elsewhere.

    And the shaming tactics women of this country and you in your post are so good at are no longer working.

    1. 104.1

      I’m one of those who are not gold diggers, but you sound so mean and bitter that I would want nothing to do with you.


      What good would someone so negative bring into my life?



  15. 105


    My post was not intended to shame just one gender, but to point out the convoluted thinking of those males or females who come on a dating advice blog only to complain about the very people they want to date.

    If you’re so certain that the subset of people you want to date are defective, but are nevertheless visiting an advice blog in hopes of dating them, then I still say you’re not putting 2 and 2 together.

  16. 106

    Strong opinions….

  17. 107

    I think next to desperation, bitterness has to be the biggest turn off in the dating world.

    I can understand where this comes from for both men and women. Often in life when someone does something to you ,it seem like you never get “your day in court”. There is no place to put that hot potatoe. When a warm body with a pair of ears even come close to opening an issue the urge to rant is overpowering. I know, I’ve felt it.

    If you find yourself making the same negative comments about dating over and over again ( especially if they are true ) I think all of you might be better off in seeking help in finding closure.

    If you don’t end up driving potential dates away at the least you will discourage yourself from trying or drive your friends away.

  18. 108
    Michael Ejercito

    Are Russian women really that good?

    I do notice there are quite a lot of Russian immigrants living within fifty miles of where I live.

  19. 109


    Since you mentioned your field trip to see Lori Gottleib speak, I’m just wondering if there is a report, or if it’ll be the subject of another thread? I read your thread on this, and curiosity is piqued.

  20. 110

    Ah, so you see, sheseizereason… Dittohd didn’t visit this dating advice blog with the express intent to bitch about all the women he wants to date. He came onto an American dating advice blog to rail against American women.

    Well, congratulations Svetlana, Luigina or Noemie; this keeper is all yours! Just don’t expect him to spend a few Euros for your foie grasse without a grudge…

  21. 111

    While ditto’s post is a bit far afield, dismissing the underlying sentiment (find good woman = needle in haystack) it out of hand isn’t any solution.

    She’s point of, ” . . .if you’re so certain that the subset of people you want to date are defective, but are nevertheless visiting an advice blog in hopes of dating them, then I still say you’re not putting 2 and 2 together.”

    Point taken, but to add to it, the blog’s purpose is also to educate both men and women. Pointing out that American women are gold diggers (his truth) and that there are foreign women available that do not share goldigging is as much education to male readers as it may be perceived as a gripe against American women, some of whom may also see it as educational.

    BTW, aren’t we a bit off-topic now?

    1. 111.1


      These foreign women are from countries in terrible financial crisis. Their ticket out is to “settle” for a less attractive American man who they are not in love with.


      They get to send his money to their loved ones in the poor country who are needy.

      I’ve read news articles of men complaining that these foreign women left them after they were able to get their green card or citizenship due to the marriage.

      You don’t think these ladies wanted a man as attractive as them? They do, but they are desperate or plain gold diggers and need the American man for their purposes.

      1. 111.1.1
        Michael Ejercito

        Yeah, it never occurs to them to ask why these foreign women would be willing to relocate themselves to America, instead of making a life with their own people.

  22. 112

    Michael Ejercito;

    In your posts you seem to be doing something where part of your message is quoted in burgandy and floats.

    Could you stop doing that? It messes up the text flow in other people’s messages.

    No offense, thanks.

  23. 113

    To speak to the point made by Vino and other posters, I agree that a man’s whole life can be commandeered by an unforeseen pregnancy/unwanted child, and yes, it’s unfair. While I don’t think it’s a just alternative to give the man any say in what the woman should do with the fetus that is in her body, I do think that child support rules could be re-examined to take the circumstances surrounding the impregnation into account.

    But it’s tricky to challenge the current laws, to say the least.

    I don’t have any expertise on the subject of child support law, but I believe the stickiness of the matter has to do with whose rights trumps whose. Once a woman is impregnated, her right to control her body and carry a child to term trumps the right of the man who does not wish to become a father. The man cannot pre-empt the child’s birth to keep from paying child support if, to do so, the woman’s body must be violated in the form of a compulsory abortion.

    Once the baby is born, it is the child’s right to an adequate standard of living that again seemingly trumps the rights of the biological father to spend his money elsewhere.

    A quick Wikipedia search provides better language and more detail around the basis of child support law in the US: “The 1992 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, a binding convention signed by every member nation of the United Nations and formally ratified by all but two, declares that the upbringing and development of children and a standard of living adequate for the children’s development is a common responsibility of both parents and a fundamental human right for children, and asserts that the primary responsibility to provide such for the children rests with their parents.”

    In a nutshell, it is indeed unfair for the man who is compelled by law to live up to his fatherly duties. However it is LESS FAIR for a man to force a woman to terminate her pregnancy and EVEN LESS FAIR for the man to deny his own child the necessities of life which can only be obtained through pecuniary expenditure.

    And it looks as though you will need to take your grievances before Ban Ki-moon and the General Assembly if you want to wriggle out of the obligation to pay child support.

    Having said all that, I GET what folks are saying about how you’d have to question the character of a woman who would ignore the wishes of a man and give birth to his unwanted child.

    Nevertheless, I don’t think we have enough facts to decide her character with any finality. It bears mentioning that we don’t know two important things about Paula. Firstly, we don’t know her moral/religious beliefs. While I am pro-choice, I respect her right to choose to keep the child if her conscience didn’t allow her to abort it. Perhaps her pregnancy wasn’t cause to celebrate, but she did what she thought best according to her personal truth. Secondly, we just can’t say for sure if she’s collecting child support at all. It would make the child support debate a moot point for her if she’s not. Some women these days do absolve the fathers of their child support obligation and truly do it on their own. How can we assume she’s not one of these women?

  24. 114


    “Pointing out that American women are gold diggers (his truth) and that there are foreign women available that do not share goldigging is as much education to male readers as it may be perceived as a gripe against American women, some of whom may also see it as educational.”

    Firstly, you don’t educate with opinions. You educate with facts. I don’t find that gold digger statement an indisputable fact as much as a negative stereotype based on Dittiotd’s opinion.
    Everyone, please be careful with blanket statements on this blog; I think most of us are smart enough to know one when we see one.

    Not only were his statements a negative stereotype about American women but also a broad misrepresentation of foreign women. Go to places like Italy or Spain where male machismo is a cultural institution, and you will find a strong sense of financial entitlement coming from the women.

    Furthermore, don’t many websites that facilitate introductions to foreign women sell the American male by appealing to the common misconception that the he will be able to provide in a way their own countrymen cannot? Don’t most of these women look outside their own borders because they’re gold-digging in a sense? Forgive me if I’m wrong, and Dittiotd’s been wooing self-reliant, Sorbonne-educated bankers with long legs and strangely sexy underarm hair from across the pond. 😉

    Finally, where does Dittiotd express the altruistic desire to educate anybody?

  25. 115

    The goldigging comment may be best explored on other threads, but the original poster, Paula, seeks someone successful, among other traits. Therefore, that subject is ‘on the table’ so to speak.

    If it’s his experience that “Too many women are conniving gold diggers, then they are to HIM. That is a fact for HIM. I might add that many, many men like Ditto share the same experience. you may not like the inference as a stereotype.

    I’ve read other threads on here where it’s perfectly okay to post opinions in response to someone else’s factual argument, usually an attack on the factual arguer. Is that okay for others but not for Ditto?

    Lorelei wrote, “Everyone, please be careful with blanket statements on this blog . . .” I thought Ditto took pains to explain that his comment did not mean ALL women. I simply paraphrased two.can and Sheesei’s comments to add something else.

    Oh, and if Ditto’s comment does make a guy choose to ignore a goldigger or a woman choose not to be one, it’s absolutely educational and worth it’s weight in gold. No one need to express a desire to educate anyone as a prerequisite to post. Talk about chilling free speech.

    Again, aren’t we fare afield of the thread’s subject?

  26. 116

    You don’t educate with negative stereotypes.

  27. 117

    Re: Lorelei’s last paragraph wrote:

    Much of it’s already been answered in previous posts by others and myself, but I’d like to take the opportunity to point a few things out, as it seems maybe she hasn’t read all of the many previous posts, which is understandable.

    “I respect her right to choose . . .what she thought best according to her personal truth.”
    See Hadley Paige’s post above #77.
    Also, you mentioned her religious beliefs. I don’t want a whole religious discussion, but I’m not generally aware of any religion where it’s okay to fornicate, but it’s too much of a sin to use morning after pill or abortion. I thought a sin was a sin, no? Or does she get to determine which one is and isn’t? Rhetorical question.

    Her later choice to sue or not sue for child support is not on the table and is irrelevant. The issue are her CHOICES leading up to having the child. Again, see Hadley Paige’s post.

    The rest of the UN nonsense is dicta, and a wordy way of saying what we already know and have seen above: guys are on the hook legally for at least 1/2.

  28. 118

    I meant last paragraph in post #113. Apologies.

  29. 119

    I noticed that nobody disagreed with me when I said that one of Paula’s problems was Unrealistic sense of entitlement. You say I want, I want, I want without being willing to reciprocate. Obviously you are expecting too much. Meanwhile you are bringing nothing to the table except sex not enough, unless the man is willing to vastly over pay.

    However, when other’s called her and the majority of American women gold diggers, many people disagreed. I want to reiterate all four of my points above, and further add that even tough over 51% of college graduates are now women that most women are not willing to reciprocate monetarily, labor wise (honey do jobs), support wise, or in any other way in a relationship. Also, it’s very telling that despite the endless college and career opportunities (and endless entitlements available to women) that over 90% of American women still marry up (marry men who make more money than they do). The expectation of American women to marry men who make more money than them is also a contributing factor that over 51% of adults are now unmarried (for the first time in history).

  30. 120

    To Sheseizereason:

    >If you’re so certain that the subset of people you want to date are defective, but are nevertheless visiting an advice blog in hopes of dating them, then I still say you’re not putting 2 and 2 together.

    I am not on this site for dating purposes. I was referred here by a friend based on the whining of the woman referred to in the subject letter. I have been married for well over 30 years to a foreign-born woman and in the case that I get a divorce, I would go back overseas for #2.

    Why would any man with half a brain seek to date women in this country who have been brought up from birth by the media to be afraid of us men because we are all or mostly all stupid predators? Furthermore, women should have all the choices in life and men all the responsibilities. And men are responsible for providing women with all their choices and are responsible for teaching men how they are wrong and how they should change if they don’t tow the feminist-defined line.

    No, I know exactly how to add 2 + 2. In fact, I thank God for entering the military in my teens because I was sent overseas where I met and got to date quite a few foreign women in Taiwan, Thailand, Japan, and the Philippines. What a difference! So much stronger, independent, feminine, rational, and they are not predominantly complaining and whining cry-babies who are only interested in me, me, me, me, me and hypocritical in so much of their expectations. I dated quite a few American women in my teens before entering the military and never enjoyed it. The experience was always a total drag. I’m not saying that all foreign women are the same or that there aren’t foreign women that are bad. But finding one that is rational, sweet, trustworthy, and enjoyable to be with is so much easier there and the rules overseas aren’t all so oppressive of men as they are here.

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