Why Don’t Men Hate Being Single As Much As Women Do?

Why Don’t Men Hate Being Single As Much As Women Do?

Dear Evan,

Why don’t men hate being single as much as women do? I know you say most men are marriage-minded underneath but they seem much less interested in getting into a stable, committed relationship than women do, and seem to drag their heels.

Some of the things I hate about being single are (in no particular order): lack of love, affection and emotional support; not having someone to go on vacation with; not having someone to share domestic tasks with; being excluded from social gatherings because I don’t have a partner; not having someone to talk to at home on a day to day basis; having to cope with the financial burden of being single (apartment, bills etc.); not having a regular source of quality sex available.

Surely these things apply to men just as much as women? If this is the case, why aren’t men jumping up and down with excitement when they meet someone they connect with, like we are? Why aren’t they just as keen as we are to know “where things are going” early on in the relationship? A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. Do men actually ENJOY the endless tedium and stress of going on a string of disappointing dates? Or does it all simply come down to the capriciousness of the female orgasm – since men can have an orgasm with practically anyone, they don’t much care who they’re with, whereas if a woman finds someone who’s actually good in bed she’s desperate to hang on to him?! Your insights would be much appreciated.   -Elaine

Dear Elaine,

Love. This. Question.

I particularly love your list of what sucks about being single. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that — all things remaining equal — having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.

(This does not mean that I look down on single people or think you should be in an unsatisfying relationship so, please, spare me the complaints.)

My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both.

But what gets me the most excited, Elaine, is that you’ve forced me to consider something that I’ve never actually considered before:

Why Don’t Men Hate Being Single As Much as Women Do?

My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both.

Funny, but probably not the entire picture.

So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women:

1. Low investment, low return. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships. When a man hangs out with another man, he’ll watch sports, play poker, talk trash, grab a few drinks, and maybe talk about whether he’s hooking up. This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs — for companionship, for laughs, for fun.

Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers — What do I do? How much do I earn? What kind of car do I drive? How big is my TV?

As I look at that list, it occurs to me that most of my clients who are perfectly content being single are satisfied with their female friendships. My mom, for example: she volunteers at the hospital, she tap dances in the musical at her clubhouse, she plays canasta with the girls twice a week, she does Sudoku in her garden, she’s on the party-planning committee… and while she misses a travel companion, movie companion and regular sex, life is pretty much okay as it is.

I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. Which brings us to…

2. Self-definition. Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers — What do I do? How much do I earn? What kind of car do I drive? How big is my TV?

This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a 72” Sony instead of a 64” Vizio. But hey, that’s men.

Women, who are, in general, more emotional and intuitive, are more likely to define their lives by their relationships. So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play.

Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful clients also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. Which brings us to…

3. Communication styles. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.

A few thoughts off the top of my head:

– Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men. I remember reading somewhere that it was about 1 in 6 women vs. 1 in 48 men.

– 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women. Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores?

– Women maintain closer friendships throughout life. My mom talks to her best friend every day. She has friends who talk to their daughters every day. I’m as sensitive as they come and I talk to my best friends in New York about once a month.

In other words, even if men feel the emotional need to connect, they rarely reach out to do so — with each other, with their families, and with you.

Women talk about their feelings with much greater frequency and intensity, further feeding the perception/reality that they care more about relationships.

4. Sex — Perhaps Charlie Sheen said it best, years ago, when talking about his predilection for prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”

There are a decent number of men out there who don’t really desire the same kind of relationship as you do. Their needs are met by their male friendships and their careers and the last thing they want to do is hold your purse when shopping at Nordstrom.

You can tell who these men are because when they’re not with you, you don’t exist. They’ll call you once a week to hook up and that’s all. These guys play on their terms, not yours and are a total waste of time to any woman trying to forge something real and lasting. It’s like trying to teach a fish to ride a bicycle. In my experience, there are very few women who treat men as if they’re good for nothing but sex.

So yeah, a man’s ability to separate sex and love is another valid reason he’s not terribly upset when he’s single.

The last thing men want to do is hold your purse when shopping at Nordstrom.

5. Expectations about relationships. I think this is the most important point of all. Women expect their relationships to be transcendent. They expect the man to illuminate and inspire. You remember “Eat, Pray, Love,” right? “You don’t need a man. You need a champion.”

Guys don’t work that way. We want someone who is attractive, who doesn’t criticize us or tell us how much we need to change, who we can spend lots of time with without getting bored, who we can bring around our friends and families with minimal incident.

You don’t have to play fantasy football.
You don’t have to make six figures.
You don’t have to have washboard abs.
You don’t have to have an M.B.A.
You don’t have to be spiritual.

As a result, most men can date lots of women.

Women — at least my clients – can only date .0001% of men.

Elizabeth Gilbert, in her follow-up to “Eat, Pray, Love,” called “Committed”, explores these outlandish expectations that Western women have for love — which are nothing like what women in other cultures experience. As a result, Western women are very disappointed in their men, whereas men aren’t nearly as disappointed in women.

In other words, we think you’re fine as you are.

We just hate the fact that you need us to change so much.

As a result of all of these biological and societal observations about men, it shouldn’t be too surprising that there are no Time Magazine cover stories or best-selling books about desperate men.

We can separate sex and love, we define ourselves by our work, we don’t lack dating options, we get 95% of our needs met without female companionship, and we don’t talk about relationships nearly as much.

If there’s anything I missed, please let me know. Guys, please chime in here. Why are you okay not being in a relationship — and how is this different than the women you know?

Join our conversation (1,922 Comments).
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  1. 921

    Go Evan!

    If Bill Blake is really giving this ‘advice’ to the ‘bucks’ in his office and his poor daughter, then he is setting them all up for bad relationships (and possible abuse?) in the future. Time moves forward whether Bill likes it or not, and the behaviour he thinks is manly is now seen as ignorant and rather pathetic. Women don’t put up with disrespect nearly as much as they used to.

    Also, the answer when something does not go your way is not to blame the other party and to hate on a group collectively. It’s to identify what you want (it’s not unmanly for a man to admit he wants a relationship) and to figure out how to change your actions accordingly. He is doing everyone he ‘advises’ a disservice by getting them to point the finger at someone else other than themselves – it prevents them from being self-critical. He might need to learn how to handle his anger more constructively, so that it doesn’t hurt both him and others.

  2. 922

    Evan, just one comment though on your earlier comment. You mentioned something about focusing on ‘white men.’ It isn’t just in protest to white men that women marched or started the me too movement. It is to men of all colors (and even so, not against MEN per se, but against behavior that has threatened women).

    Recently the United Nations came out with a document on statistics of violence against women in different countries and continents. The largest number of cases was in Asia, which is no surprise because there are the most Asians (China + India, and all the other countries). But the largest rate of violence cases was in Africa, and Asia came in second. The continents with lowest rates of violence against women were Europe at #1, and North America at #2. White men predominate in those continents with lower rates of violence against women. So while we might focus on our own countries in me too, we also need to consider the worldwide perspective – it is not just an ‘against white men’ idea at all. We need to raise up safety for women everywhere.

  3. 923

    Evan I read you a LOT. Read the book. Wading through the aftermath of holding on to someone too long and processing thanks to your hundreds of pages. Feeling like love is maybe a myth. But I see your responses here and I LOVE them. Thanks for being strong, self assured and ready to say what needs to be said whether people like you or not because it is right.

  4. 924
    Justin Tillis

    I have to agree with Bill Blake about American women not being worth the effort.  I finally listened to an uncle who told me to go to the Philippines to the traditional area of Cebu to find a wife who would want a lasting relationship and would not come with all the baggage and drama that women here have grown up loving. I met my wife Lin 7 years ago and we have been married for 6. She cares for our children and is a source of great strength for our marriage and family.  My friends all said that once she becomes westernized she will change but that just never happened.  Rest in peace uncle Dale your advice has made me the happiest man on the planet.

  5. 925
    No Name To Give

    Justin, what are Western women supposed to do with that, cry in their beer? Go into mourning? Because most of the women here will just say, whatever floats your boat, Dude.

  6. 926

    Justin Tillis @924, I have seen just as many horror stories. There is a lot of marriage fraud by Filipino Women. One example is a case where she would try to provoke her husband so that she could file for VAWA, which is a very beneficial law to allow for women of domestic violence and abuse to file for immigration benefits on their own without the spouse.

    In my opinion there is something about the Western Culture when both men and women often have baggage, and it comes because of affluence of our society. You may be included in that. There are still plenty of good ones out there from our culture, so I would not throw them all away with a blanket statement. But then people from other cultures get baggage, too, from all that poverty, oppression, ect. The moral of this story is that you really aren’t more or less likely to get a better quality person either way. You just got lucky, and I am glad for you. However just because I am from a Westernized culture does not mean I am drama-filled.

  7. 927
    Sam Fenton

    I only needed to skim this. It’s fairly spot on. I’m 35. I would like to get married and have a kid or 2. I’ve only been in 1 relationship where the other person was emotionally and mentally stable. That was in high school. None of the others were worth dealing with all of the drama. One eventually became violent. In my life, there have only been 2 people I was afraid of. One put a knife to me neck when I was 4. The other was an ex. I was more afraid of an ex than the cartel drug smugglers I come across once or twice a year. Life has taught me not to trust most women. Here are a couple examples why.

    Ive been told I can’t go hunting after dating someone for a couple weeks.

    One begged me to go on a road trip with her. She drove. I caught her cheating on me the second night.

    One became violent when I tried to give her a nickname I thought was cute. I left her on the spot. We had no contact until my birthday 3 months later. She started sending me hate mail.

    A woman I was good friends with started dating a close friend of mine. She started lying to him. She tried to get me to lie to him for her. Then she accused a friend of trying to rape her. Then she went to our circle of friends and tolld them I was trying to rape her.

    An ex broke up with me. 4 hrs later she called and pretended nothing happened. I told her we were done. We dated 3 months. She stalked me for 3 years. This included her calling me 7-800 times a month between the hours of midnight and 4 am any day of the week. This was before you could block a number. She was driving by my house several times a day. It didn’t end until I filed for a restraining order.

    5 years ago I was accused of rape because I was giving a very drunk woman a ride home. I could smell a certain body part through her clothing. I had no other intentions with her.

    My last ex said I didn’t care about her because I was only going on Facebook 1-3 times a month. I bailed because she kept starting fights over that.

    A friend was accused of rape. He went to jail. She started a public smear campaign and posted all of his contact information. She admitted she lied in court. He was found innocent but was getting so many death threats he changed his name and moved across the country. 

    My best friend has been in a 3 year long legal battle because his ex fiancé became abusive, and to the cops, and lied about being abused

    The false accusations against Brett Kavanaugh

    Because of my last ex, my stalker ex, because acused of rape twice, being hit by an ex, 2 friends being accused of rape, what happened to my best friend, and the metoo movement I’ve only been in one relationship since 2007. It’s just not worth it.

    This doesn’t mean I hate women. The women in my family are incredible people. There are women I have been friends with for years who I love, but could never date. Life has caused me to develop a super dark sense of humor. I’ve only found a handful of people I can actually be myself around. One was a police officer. The rest are men who are combat veterans.


    1. 927.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Awful. But to be clear, you have no idea if the Kavanagh allegations were true. The fact that you assume they are not has everything to do with your listed experience and nothing to do with your knowledge of his dorm room in the 80’s.

  8. 928

    Sam- where are you meeting these women? Surely, they are not your sisters or cousins friends? You need to surround yourself by a better crowd. Be a social climber, you won’t improve unless you surround yourself by accomplished people. Were/are you in a competitive program? People studying medicine, law, etc. don’t have time or inclination for this type of low-brow drama. Did you go to college? military? police program? There have got to be normal people at your place of worship? Did you investigate (with a therapist) why you are attracting false accusers and mentally ill people? At least you never married one of them. Or, had kids with them. Yuck. Imagine! Do normal girls bore you? 

  9. 929
    ethan morris

    I agree with a lot of what this article says.  I have been divorced for a little over a year and I can honestly say that I could go the rest of my life and never be in another serious, committed relationship and be extremely happy.  I know I will never get married again.  I have a young daughter and I’ve had to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees and I still don’t have shared custody.  I am a successful businessman with a squeaky clean life so this was a real shock to me.   With dating/hook up apps it’s amazing how many attractive, successful women I can meet every month.  They always say they’re looking for a Ltr and they almost always are looking for sex.  Marriage is a terrible institution.

  10. 930
    No Name To Give

    Marriage is not the problem. People are.

  11. 931

    I’m a divorced (my only marriage ended a decade ago) male, in my mid-fifties. After my divorce, I wanted to find someone, for the last relationship of my life. Some one to retire with, to travel with and to sip lemonade in the sunshine with.

    I spent a few years online dating. That didn’t work out well, so I stopped looking. I eventually realized that I wasn’t sure why I wanted a partner anyway. I think that the letter posted above is interesting in that it lists out very clearly what the woman wants from a relationship. I didn’t have any such list. When I tried to make a list up, I came to the conclusion that there really isn’t much lacking in my life anyway. I still work, I have a couple of close friends and I travel alone well and often.

    The only part of my life that is lacking is intimacy. For men, as we get older our testosterone (and libido) declines. The physical aspects of intimacy becomes less of an issue every day. While I would enjoy a nice sexual relationship, I no longer want that bad enough to do what is expected of me to find it. So, the emotion aspect of intimacy is the only difference between when I was married and now.

    The intimacy would be nice, but I’m not sure that it’s worth the chaos of dating. Dating is a minefield later in life, full of drama and pitfalls (for both genders). And to tap dance through this minefield men can expect several bouts of; being ignored when asking a woman out (online dating), rejections, occasionally being stood-up and the expectations to pay if she does make it to the date. And all of that to see if she likes me enough to come on a second date. No thank you.

    It isn’t that I prefer to be single, but I refuse to wade through the dating pool. I believe that are many great partner candidates out there, but it just isn’t worth all of the trials and tribulations trying to find her/them. I would much rather have a nice meal and a drink with a good friend. That is a far better way to spend the evening.

    It doesn’t matter to me who is happier alone; men or women. It isn’t a competition. I can tell you that, as a mature and accomplished man, I would be happy to be with a woman but I refuse to jump through ‘dating hoops’ like a show pony. I’m a little wiser and a little more mature than I was before my marriage.

  12. 932
    Yet Another Guy


    I believe that you have hit the nail squarely on the head as to why a lot of older men are no longer willing to put forth the effort required to date. Testosterone decline does in fact reduce what a man is willing to do to obtain a partner because men are primarily driven to seek a partner for sex. However, testosterone decline has other negative effects. Mental cognition tracks testosterone level in men and so does mental health. There is a reason why so many older men are on testosterone replacement therapy. The world is a competitive place, regardless of age.

  13. 933

    Hi Jason – Your post could have been written by me 5-6 years ago, after my divorce. That’s why I ebbed between, “i’m OK being single” to “I think I’ll try for a relationship” to “Dating sucks, NEVER AGAIN”. I toggled in and out of various phases of frustration. The boring dates, the men who wanted to text endlessly but never meet face to face, being stood up, the flakers,the married men on OLD, the booty callers, the bots on online dating, the really great guys that I just didn’t feel the spark for, but who liked me, the men I really liked rejecting me, etc. etc.

    And then it happened, I met my match on match dot com a little over 4 years ago, and we have been married a little over 2 years. My husband experienced the same frustrations as I did, women who lied in their profile, women with boyfriends contacting him, the flakers, the fakers, etc. But we managed to put our “battle fatigued” selves out there again and again until . . .

    You can certainly create a very satisfying single life for yourself, with family, friends, hobbies and traveling, and I wish you well in that regard. But if you at least remain open to the possibility of a late in life relationship the rewards are TREMENDOUS.

    I was 59 and he was 67 when we met, and here we are 4 years later, happily married. In many ways, marriage at this age is so much sweeter. All the fun, companionship, intimacy, and affection, with very little responsibility. We are both retired. We are both financially stable. Well past our child bearing years, heck, we don’t even own pets. 2 big things that younger couples argue about are money and how to raise their children. 2 less points of conflict for an older couple.

    I wish you well whether happily single or happily coupled.

  14. 934
    Julia Isabella

    I finally had to skip to the end of the comments…My God that Persephone person needs to stop replying to everyone.  Anyway….I’ve been a divorce attorney in CA for 15 years.  I’ve had an equal share of male and female clients.  Men stop getting sex in marriage, and they get ignored and controlled by their wives on the regular.  Women get neglected by their husbands when he gets more validation from his work than from an emotional connection with her, because that is how guys are and the comments confirm that.  Women, myself included, have mistakenly believed that men are as capable of as much love and emotional connection as we are, but, in reading the comments, that is clearly not the case.  I think a LARGE majority of men are happy being single.  The good looking men are in the minority and they have TONS of choices and TONS of women who will have sex with them no strings attached.  And they apparently don’t really need a relationship with a woman to feel fulfilled.  I DIDN’T GET THIS BEFORE TODAY.  I have been feeling so resentful lately being a highly intelligent woman, amazing in bed, figure like Sophia Vegara, financially independent, blah blah blah…and WHY AM I STILL SINGLE???  Many  men are interested, but none who measure up in intelligence, character and looks.  AND the ones who are good looking are already getting plenty of sex from elsewhere. And the good looking ones typically aren’t smart enough or interesting enough.  The guys with the great personalities are typically not good looking.  NOW I FINALLY GET IT.  There is no way to get it all in one guy. So, I am going to stop believing that my dream guy is coming along.  Men don’t really want relationships, they just want sex, just like HOLLY said.  They used to have to get married to get it regularly, but they don’t need to do that anymore.  They don’t even need to put in an effort to be GOOD at sex.  OMG the realizations I’m having.  Basically, men have little to nothing to offer women except an appendage.  They are happy with their male friends.  Women try to change men because we don’t realize that men are simple simple creatures emotionally and they can not meet us at our emotional level. So they constantly disappoint us, and they, as a consequence, feel constantly criticized.  No one is the bad guy here, its just that we are almost not even the same species.  Men prefer to be with men at all other times, other than sex.  Women need emotional intimacy and we have been led to believe by the MEDIA and MOVIES, that we can get it from men, but its a DAMN LIE.  We need our girl friends for that. Why wasn’t there a Disney movie explaining this??? Women have been deluded for DECADES.  I appreciate the men being honest on here even though it sucks.  I love men.  I love the way they look when they take care of themselves, the way they smell, their masculinity, but the truth is that they can’t give us what we truly need, and that is that deep emotional intimacy…and more and more men aren’t even trying because they don’t need to.  Are there a handful of men out there who are amazing to be with.  Yes, but are most of us going to find those men?  Probably no.  So, I guess I will be going to Greece by myself next year.

  15. 935

    too much work, low investment low return is one outlook, another is high investment high return, and a third is high investment high risk, or even high investment low return.
    I am 27, I was in a 6 year long relationship until about almost 4 years ago, before that i was in a 2 year long relationship, in between the two I dated around and played around. I never felt the need too cheat, and I just felt like the emotional connection was enough to never get aggravated over sex, she had crohns so she was frequently incapable and i spent a lot of time with her at the hospital etc etc.
    there was a lot wrong with the relationship, in how the stress she felt was expressed, and eventually she started to get better in life and she felt a looming guilt over a lot of stuff and couldn’t see me as a lover anymore so we broke up…. had 2 fwb for a little while after that, but have not had a single girlfriend or anything anywhere near, I wouldn’t even say I have been on a date, because i really haven’t. I just enjoy porn and I go to school (yeah im getting older but I have had to work while going and a lot of life hit me) and work and read and play video games. I hike, I work on my own DIY projects…. yeah… I do miss a warm body to literally sleep in the same bed with and the feeling of having that something, but I also know myself well enough to realize that I won’t be satisfied with a love that isn’t real… so I don’t bother looking for anything, I just wear myself on my sleeve and if someone decides I seem interesting and I think they are someone I can respect and I am attracted too them id definitely run with it, but i wont search for it because I don’t feel the need too or the desire too, and i fear that if i did I would end up settling for something after failing time and time again.

  16. 936
    Katie Wietmarschen

    I love Amy Schumer’s stance in her comedy special “Growing.” She says NONE of her female friends felt super concerned about marriage until age 40. She also talks about men in their 20s and 30s drinking and hooking up… and attempting to do so in their 40s but getting “tired.” She then days women can take them by the hand and lead them to the couch to watch Netflix together until they die in old age. Of course, she says it funnier and she is generalizing, but I see it as true.

    As an almost 40 year old woman, i’ve recently found an almost 40 year old man and we are dating. It is going smashingly well and I think it is because I’m choosing not to analyze and change everything about him. I want us to accept one another and be great friends and lovers. In other words, it is fun, exciting, and feels safe.

    Love can and does happen. Just got to find the dude that’s getting kinda tired of the scene… take him by the hand, and lead him back to the couch to watch Netflix until you both die!

  17. 937

    Actually I’ve met hordes of desperate and lonely men on dating sites, Facebook groups, Reddit and many other places. My impression is that men are more lonely and isolated when single because unlike women, they tend not to get hugs and cuddles from friends or family that much. They also usually only confide in a romantic partner, so when single, a lot of men just don’t open up to anyone.

    This article seems to indicate that the opposite is actually true, which fits with my personal experience. Most men I know are more desperate for a partner than most women I know, who seem relatively happy being single.

    “Some of the suggestion for this comes from the fact that men’s health and wellbeing seem to benefit more from marriage. Men who are married tend to be healthier than those who aren’t, says a recent Harvard University publication.

    Studies indicate married men have less heart disease. However, the same doesn’t hold true for married women, who experience little difference to their single peers.

    Men also fare worse when they lose their partner. A 2012 American study found the death of a spouse increased men’s risk of dying by an average of 27 per cent, compared to 15 per cent for women.

    Separated men are also more likely than separated women to jump back into a new relationship according to a 2015 Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) report.

    But an even more telling statistic: Of the roughly 13 per cent of Australians who live alone, 76 per cent of the women preferred this arrangement compared to 56 per cent of the men.”

    Source: https://thenewdaily.com.au/life/relationships/2017/06/24/do-men-need-women-more-than-women-need-men/

    That said, there is evidence that statistically more men have avoidant attachment styles, which explains why they tend to be more emotionally unavailable and commitment-phobic.

  18. 938

    They are not interested in relationships because we’ve allowed
    As women to let them have their cake and eat it too.
    Sex is given freely in exchange for hopes of love and as soon as we
    Realize. That this is absolutely not the case then men eill
    Be satisfied with the easy access. They then can go home and
    Continue to watch tv and open and play video games. No effort needed to fulfill all of their needs. Then when wanting a real relationship will be aghast at the women that want a real relationship too but don’t want to have to do all the “work” or put the time in to build it.
    Or they’ll call a double standard on a woman who is sexual but also capable of having a relationship too merely to call her too easy
    And realize they are critical of her for that. Again
    what’s that saying why pay for the Dow when milk is free.
    We have no one to blame but ourselves as women for
    Allowing men to use our bodies fir sex in hopes of a relationship as soon as we learn this is not the gateway the sooner
    we will set the bar on making them work a little bit for
    A lasting connection. This me too movement – us as victims is the BS. We have to stand up and say we want and deserve mire and are capable of being sexual like men as well. We set the standard. We can’t blame men for not following low standards. My opinion

  19. 939

    First off, thanks Elaine for the question and a list of a reminder of what is nice about being in a relationship. As someone who has remained single for going on 7 years now, I can state that most of my needs are met by female friends, socializing with both sexes, local flirty bartenders, trips with the guys, and my ‘hobby’ of sports betting and casino gambling. And to somewhat agree with Evan’s assistant that some, if not all of those things would likely need to change or be eliminated. Not saying a committed relationship will never happen for me again, but for now I’ve become very content with my life.

  20. 940

    I don’t have much to offer that someone else hasn’t already said, but I note that Elaine’s list of the things she isn’t getting put sex at the end. It’s the last thing she appears to care about.
    Unfortunately for most guys, AWALT. They know they can get laid anytime they really want to, they just don’t want to very often. Ask any married man if you doubt. Only a very lucky few would disagree.
    Would that it were otherwise, but will never be.

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