Why I Love Women Over 40

Why I Love Women Over 40

My wife – age 39 1/2 – just forwarded me the below – a snippet from an old Andy Rooney segment. While I tend to tune out most of his messages – focusing largely on his remarkably bushy white eyebrows, I think that Mr. Rooney has clearly accumulated some wisdom over his 90 years.

Here’s just a few reasons that he values women over 40 most of all:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

I’m not sold on the anti-marriage, mini-sausage sentiments, but the rest rings true. Women, like fine wines, often improve with age.

I remember a 24-year-old woman who had a crush on me when I was in my early 30’s. I told her she was too young for me. She was incredulous. No man rejects a 24-year-old woman! I let her know that if she thought she was amazing now, she should imagine herself in 5 years, at age 29. And in another 5 years, at age 34. In fact, I told her, if you look back on your life every five years, you’ll realize that you knew nothing five years ago. It’s been the case for me, and I trust it’s been the same for that adorable 24-year-old.

There’s no replacing the wisdom and life experience of an older woman – presuming, of course, that the woman has learned from her experience and become better (not bitter) for it.

Apart from smooth skin and the ability to procreate, I’m not sure what younger women have over older ones. Readers? Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated.


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  1. 31

    GWG #22, re: Andy R’s comment about a 40+ woman not caring what a guy thinks –

    I don’t think this is negative or that it means that she doesn’t CARE about her partner. It means is that she’s secure/mature enough to live her life according to what’s best for her, rather than what others expect.

    If you know what you want and are happy with yourself you’ll have a happy relationship. And you’ll date someone who will appreciate you for the way you are.

  2. 32

    lulubell #30, great points!

    When you said “..it’s easy to mistake a minor dating blunder for a major red flag,….” can you give examples?

    I know, getting off topic here, but it’s good to learn from others’ experiences.

  3. 33

    If a woman looks virtually the same physically over 40 as she did at, say, 30 (some natural maturation of personality often occurs between 20 and 25), does she improve in the ways that essay claims? It’s a serious, non-rhetorical question; women are finding ways to stay young while their male counterparts keep aging.

  4. 34

    downtowngal #32 – Thanks for asking…I’ve dated two guys who were very honest, and told me that they stay home a lot, and it made me worry that they would not really want to do all the things I like to do, or would just be a couch potatoes. A good guy friend of mine later told me that a lot of guys would like to stay busy, but they drown themselves in work, or just stay home if they don’t have a girlfriend to do things with – they kinda become cave dwellers. Hard for me to believe, but he was speaking from experience. I wish I had actually just explored the comment more with the guys, rather than moving on so quickly. I should have rewarded, or at least respected their honesty, rather than jump to conclusions. I need to learn to separate the actual truth of the matter, from the story I create around the truth, based on my experiences. Check out “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie. I’m still learning this stuff…

  5. 35

    I really like this article.. Now that really takes away all the worries about getting older!!! 😛

    Most of the things said in this article are true and i know that even though i m just 23 because i’ve seen it in my mom.. But thanks to a few people in my life i guess i didnt need to turn be the way women get better after 40.

    Lots of people in my life changed me a lot over the last 4 years.. And due to that i have lots of qualities said in the above article.. Including the fact that i m more optimistic than i was before.

    And i would also like to say here that apart from all those other people, reading Evans blogs and newsletter also made me even more positive about things…

    Thanks Evan!! 🙂

  6. 36

    And yes i would still like to add.. i know i m not perfect and i still look forward to know how i can change myself to be better.

  7. 37

    hi Lulubell,

    i completely agree with your post.. i’ve seen lots of people get so bitter.. That it gets irritating to hear their unrealistically negative thinking about the opposite sex!!! A particular person i met was so negative that i for the first imte in my life began to hate seeing his face. Becasue all that anger and negativity is really contagious!!!

  8. 38

    I find it fascinating how EMK disclosed that the quote was NOT in fact from Andy Rooney after all, and this news didn’t even cause a ripple in the pond. I think this just shows how the observations in the quote — no matter who made them — have really struck a nerve.

    What struck a nerve for me in particular was the whole “what are you thinking” thing. I’m very comforted to hear that I’m not the only one who has been on the receiving end of that question, and hated it.

    I recently ended a relationship with an otherwise attractive, intelligent woman who unfortunately displayed nearly all the (to me) negative traits referred to or alluded to in the article. Even more unfortunately, I thought that it was my fault and stuck with it for way longer than I should have — thus actually making it my fault that I was still suffering through it after a year and a half.

    I’ve come away with a very important lesson: My gut and heart are actually smarter than my brain sometimes, and I need to learn to listen to them. Yes, I’m over 40 and have never been married, and I’ve got more than my share of set-in-my-ways bad habits. But that doesn’t mean that I deserve to be browbeaten constantly about it. Ultimately a person needs to be able to accept who they are themselves, and accept who the other person is as well. Does that mean that its “OK” to leave a few dirty dishes in the sink for far too long? No. But to make things like that the centerpiece of a relationship (and we weren’t even living together) is just stupid.

    It just got to the point where I was just done with being made to feel six inches tall all the time. Yes, on the facts she was always right (e.g. dishes in the sink), but there’s more to life than that, but she just couldn’t see it.

    Ok, now I’m venting a bit. I’m grateful for this forum. Thank you.

  9. 39
    Slim Pickens

    I haven’t carefully read all of the comments, so pardon if someone already mentioned it, but Andy Rooney DID NOT WRITE that article. That piece of misinformation has been floating around the Internet for a while now. A writer named Frank Kaiser who writes for something called ‘Suddenly Senior’ wrote it, albeit with slightly different wording in 2000.

    Mr Rooney himself has said this during his segment at least once.

  10. 40

    As a woman over 40, I agree! Lucky me, I have no wrinkles !Lol

  11. 41

    The positive attributes of women over 40 notwithstanding, this 24-year-old thinks he and I have things in common and he wants to get to know me. He actually took offense because I told him I’m fairly aware of what 20-something guys want with 40-something women. I hate to disappointment him, but I have not been out there becoming this sexual dynamo. I’ve been working to provide for three children, earning a degree, losing weight, and being involved in a faith community. When would I have had the time and energy to get all of this so-called experience? He said “life experience”, but I didn’t just pop up out of the cookie jar. That’s code for MILF.

  12. 42

    Good for you sticking to your guns. You definitely know what you want and don’t want.

    Having said that, most women I know would be incredibly flattered by the attentions of a younger man. You have obviously come through a lot and are none worse for the wear. I believe that “life experience” means a lot. I don’t look at sex as a “skill” that is learned separately, but part of the continuous mosaic of life. As we mature, we learn how to take things one day at a time, to be more patient, less selfish and more giving, etc. All these things will show themselves in the bedroom, along with all other aspects of our lives. Maybe that’s what your young friend sees.

    If you don’t want a sexual relationship with him, that is your prerogative. But think about taking his attentions as a great compliment, rather than being offended by it.

  13. 43

    Tom, I can see where I do come off as looking offended. You’re right, I should take the attention as a compliment. I won’t let the flattery go to my head, however. If my believe and value system allowed me to just hop into bed with this kid and have a good time, then sure I’d right there. But that’s not in my nature. I have no illusions either, that when he’s ready to settle down and get serious about finding a life partner, chances are he’s going to look for someone much closer in age, with whom he has more in common, and who still has plenty of time to give him children. So ok, perhaps I can enjoy some light conversation and flirting, but that’s going to be about it.

  14. 44

    @Starthrower68 #41 & #43,
    Will you please stop with the paranoia? Maybe this twenty-four year old just finds you “attractive” and you “happen” to be older than he is. Ever thought of that? 24 is “grown”- he is not a baby and can make his own choices in his life. Why not see where this goes. Aren’t you the least bit curious. Or are you afraid you might actually “enjoy” this too much through and through? Hmmm. Kepp us posted:-)

  15. 45

    It is interesting reading the comments. I have seen the Andy Rooney comment in the past and found it fascinating considering I’m 49. That comment applies to women who are well adjusted. It seem to fit my character without reading internal and external stuff into it. I do know that I am a better and smarter woman than I was 5 years ago, 10 years, and 15 years ago.

    I don’t think it is taking anything away from younger women. If you feel that way maybe you should think about your self confidence level. There are definite stages of development – look at Eriikson’s Stages of Development. A 2 year is not the same as a 6 year old. Come on people. You learn at each developmental stage. So, please younger women, you are nothing like a woman over 40. You have not leaved enough years to understand what this really mean. So, stop trying to compare yourself.  

    If you are one of those younger women comparing yourself and getting upset over the Andy Rooney comment….I rest my case.

  16. 46

    Age does make a difference. Or should I say experiences and learning from them.
    And quite a bit of what is said about the 40+ ladies seems to fit the ones I have met and dated.
    In my twenties I was fortunate enough to date and befriend women in their late thirties and forties.  One of my first girlfriends was 37 when I was 17.

    One of the things I noticed was the more balanced perspective on life.
    And the lack of fear about being direct an blunt about what they expected and what they demanded.

    Not to say younger women cannot have those traits, but that extra time does make a serious case.  And I think my perspective was improved by experiencing their company and companionship.

    That is why for the life of me I cannot get the guys who do not find 40+ women attractive when they are the same age.
    I get that it is personal preference but still I feel those guys are missing out.

  17. 47

    Okay…I am 45 years old now, and I have to tell you this: I don’t think a women over 40 0r 50 or whatever age is better than say a 20 years old.. It is just different.. Every age has it’s own beauty, and it’s all right.. I had soo much fun with my men when I was just 20 0r so..And yes, they were about the same age…When an older women came around those days, and I seen interest in my men’s eyes, I couldn’t understand..I would think ” But shes so old and flabby, come on, men!! Are you out of your mind? Why do you like this women?” The respond was always shocking to me..They would look it me like I just don’t understand..Like, how I can not see the beauty in it???…So now, that I am also older, I can see the beauty in older women. I can see why younger guys would get attracted to an older women even though they don’t look that fresh and young anymore..( all though in some cases, even more fresh looking)But of course, It’s go behind just being fresh and tight. It is all about feeling for the men.. When they feel they can truely feel comfortable to “let go with you”, than you have a winning case..No matter what is your age..:-) Love and Light always.:-)

  18. 48

    I think PEOPLE get better with age when they choose to learn from the past. This is not everyone. I have read plenty of bitter sentiment from both men and women. For me personally, with each passing year I have learned more about the difference between vulnerable naivete, trust, and unnecessary barriers that prevent connection. I think its sad when men solely go for youth and women solely go money. Neither of these pursuits will result in a fulfilling relationship. Attraction is an undeniably important factor for us all but it extends beyond the physical (body & money). It is mental, emotional, spiritual also. I think we have all been burned by someone at some time. We need to remember that this someone or these someones are just human beings complete with their own path to learn, grow and spiritually mature. When this is seen we can feel easier about our own past pain and learn trust. Then age no longer becomes the dominating factor but rather fulfillment does.

  19. 49

    I have read this before and it always makes me smile. I am 52 and as recently as last weekend was hit on by a 35-year old man. Flattering, but I have zero interest in younger men. A couple of years ago I dated a man that was 20 years younger than I, a PhD student from Greece. Sexy? Yes. Intelligent? Very. His syntax was adorable –“You are missing from me.” Why did I end it? The generational differences are just too great. His sense of humor is rooted in a different world than mine among other things. I also kept telling him that he needed to find a woman closer to his age so he could have a family. He insisted that didn’t matter to him, that age didn’t matter. But, in reality, it does matter. I was really the mom of the group.

    I met a nice guy my own age. Retired young by selling his company to Silicon Valley. Plenty of money and time and he kept wanting me to travel with him, for weeks at at time. I’m a working girl and couldn’t just jet off somewhere on a whim. We only met once, very briefly because it was long distance through an online dating site.  Very intelligent, reasonably attractive, an incredible single father. We had a very easy connection and I felt comfortable with him immediately. We kept in touch for a while until he told me it was convenient for him to basically be a sugar daddy for young women because he had money and could buy them things and they would have sex with him. He called it a mutually beneficial relationship. UGH.

    I was married for a long time (28 years). I have yet to meet a man who is not a just little boy who wants a mother figure to care for him, and perhaps subconsciously put him in his place. I raised four children full-time, I don’t need another man-child. After taking care of others for most of my adult  life (now am responsible for my elderly mother with dementia), I would just like someone to take care of me for awhile.

    1. 49.1

      Sue, it’s just my opinion, but I think the guy your age would prefer to drop the younger girls and be with you.  My impression is that he wanted to start a relationship with you, but it just isn’t possible because you two are not on the same wavelength.  He wants to travel and enjoy life with somebody special, but he can’t have that so the younger girls help him forget that he is lonely.  If he wanted them, he never would have tried to get you to go on a trip with him.  I’ve learned that men aren’t always the best communicators of their thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes you have to look for the meaning behind what they say.  In this case, I feel he was expressive his frustration with being unable to find what he really wants, which is you, or somebody like you, but who he can also share his life with.

      1. 49.1.1

        That man-child comment: She seems to be revealing a pretty standard mindset among 50-year-old women: tired of dealing with the men she has already dealt with, wants someone better or wants to be left alone. That’s the issue. She knows this guy well enough, she says he is nice and he has money, and she is choosing no.

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