Why Short Men Make Better Husbands

Why short men make better husbands


It pains me that after 8 years of blogging, this blog post about women discriminating against short men online remains my most “popular” one yet. And yet I’m not surprised in the least. It has a whiff of science (an experiment where we raised a man’s height on Match and watched his responses balloon), a controversial take (give short guys a chance), and an outraged readership (short men and Asian men who falsely thought I was insulting them, women who insist that it’s impossible to be attracted to short men). Hell, thinking about it, I should probably write more blog posts based on that formula.

We all know that short men have, for lack of a better term, drawn the short stick when it comes to women and attraction.

Nonetheless, this New Republic article provides fodder for discussion on the topic of short men. It suggests, that like  Avis rental cars, if you’re #2, you work harder.

Now, we all know that short men have, for lack of a better term, drawn the short stick when it comes to women and attraction. “A pair of sociologists found that 48.9 percent of women restricted their online dating searches to men who were taller than them. (Men were less picky: Just 13.5 percent wouldn’t consider a taller woman.)”

This isn’t news. All you need is a set of eyes and ears to see how tall guys are preferred by women. The interesting thing, of course, is that there is no inherent value to dating a taller man. He doesn’t need to protect you from falling objects. He doesn’t need to physically fight bad guys. It’s really a more primal and shallow feeling: “I can’t help what I’m attracted to” or “I want my kids to be tall” or “I want to feel feminine”. That last one is the real kicker, and it’s what I want to take a second to explore.

Femininity is not about his size relative to yours, but about security. How he makes you FEEL. Thus, you’re not attracted to a man purely because he’s tall; you’re attracted to him because he makes you feel feminine. So find other qualities about a man that will make you feel feminine to satisfy this need.

You’re not attracted to him because he’s rich, you’re attracted to him because he represents a stable future and the promise of not having to worry about money.

You’re not attracted to him because he’s a “bad boy,” you’re attracted to him having a spine, an opinion, and being able to stand up for himself.

Once you realize that height is a primal substitute for those feelings, you can expand your search to included shorter men. And you’ll be glad you did. Since short men are largely overlooked in the dating pool, those who get married make for giving and loyal partners.

Femininity is not about his size relative to yours, but about security. How he makes you FEEL. So find other qualities about a man that will make you feel feminine to satisfy this need.

“Divorce rates for tall and average men were basically indistinguishable, but 32 percent lower for short men. Weitzman explains this by saying that women who are “resistant” to marrying short men are more likely to “opt out” before it gets to the point of marriage: “There’s something distinct about the women who marry short men.”

“Or maybe it’s just that short men make better partners. They do a greater share of housework: On average, they perform 8 hours and 28 minutes per week of houseworkconstituting about 28 percent of the totalcompared to 7 hours 38 minutes for average men and 7 hours 30 minutes for tall men. And they’re more likely to be the breadwinners: Conley and Weitzman estimate that 78 percent of short men out-earn their partners, compared to 69 percent of average men and 71 percent of tall men. Although other research has suggested that taller men earn moreperhaps because of employers’ biasesthey didn’t find evidence of income disparity among the different height groups. Tall men may be, in Weitzman’s words, “aware of the status that is conferred by their tallness”which might make them less motivated to pitch in at home.”

If you’ve been reading for awhile, you’re already well aware that the best husbands aren’t the tallest or richest, but rather, the ones who are sensitive to your emotional cues, and help out with the housework and childrearing. In other words, the ones who are loyal, giving, and work extra hard to ensure your happiness.

So, please, consider the virtues of shorter guys. Not for their sake, but for yours.

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  1. 61

    Part of the problem with articles related to the dating of the short men is that 95% of them revolve around the bias of tall women not wanting to date short men. They don’t talk about a recent online profile I saw on match.com recently where an average looking 4-10 woman only wanted to date men who were 5-11 or taller. That’s where the real problem is. I am 5-6. With heels this woman is still four inches shorter than me. To me this has less to do with attraction and more with a concern of what her girlfriends and parents think of who she is dating. I just don’t see how 4-10 women could only be attracted to guys who are 5-11 or taller. I mean, does this woman have any experience of having, say, a sexual relationship with a guy who is 6-2? It’s hard. There is a reason why couples like this often have to attend sex therapy to save their marriage ( I know so, a good friend is sex therapist). There is nothing more sexy than looking into each other’s eyes. A 4-10 women is looking at her man’s belly button…..I mean, I just don’t buy that this is “really” what she is attracted to. I think is so much more about image. I have absolutely zero issues with a 5-10 woman not being interested in me. I may still be attracted to someone of this height, but I understand and my feelings don’t get hurt. But when you are 8 inches taller than a girl and it’s still an issue? More articles need to be written about that situation. Another last thing: I am really, really tired about the association of short men having a Napoleonic Syndrome. Look, if you are a hyperactive guy who is constantly interrupting conversations that is one thing, but if women understood how much I was bullied for being short as a kid, they wouldn’t be so quick to label me. I grew up as a sick child with severe asthma that almost led to me dying a couple of times. One boy threw me into a trash can. Another stole my inhaler from me, and thew it on to the street. It got run over by the time I got there. This kind of stuff alters your brain and your upbringing. It instills shame. In both cases nothing was ever done to punish the boys. The attitude was, “boys will be boys, he must stick up for himself.” Never mind that I could have had these boys arrested if they were adults. And what’s worse if that instead of my parents going to the principal and complaining, they enrolled me in karate so I could “fight them.” So forgive me if I complain about how difficult it is to be short and be male in this society. And that’s not even factoring in the countless women who I know rejected me for nothing else but my height. I know so, because I don’t actively complain about the struggles I’ve had except in a forum like this. All I see are the online dating sites, and I know the bias exists. Which isn’t to say that every girl has rejected. I still have hope, but it’s hard.

    1. 61.1

      Another issue. I am 43 years old and have zero interest in having kids. I live in an area with huge cost of living if you are single. I am $13K in debt, and it’s 100% related to health issues. I suffer from everything from fibromyalgia to interstitial cystitis to having two bulging discs in my neck that are bad but inoperable (and dangerous to operate on). I am really tired of everyone’s financial status being judged. The plain truth: this debt is not going to be paid off soon. I must live frugally. I live in a small apt., I don’t drive a Hummer, etc. I have very little evidence of some dude who spends wildly. If I loved a woman enough to marry her, I would even be willing to do a pre-nup agreement which said that I am totally responsible for my own debt. But please don’t judge me. All I was trying to do was not walk around with crippling pain.

  2. 62

    My boyfriend is 5’2 and and I am 5’7 female. He’s older than me (45 to my 38) and he is sexy, funny, compassionate, smart and fantastic in bed. He is truly an amazing man and I feel lucky to have him everyday. For those wondering if this was a one off, one of ex boyfriends was 5’1. Height has never been a factor for me when it comes to men. I’ve dated super tall men and men shorter than me. It’s who a man is that attracts me. Though it helps my boyfriend has a great smile and gorgeous eyes!

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