What If Women Were Like Men In the Bar Scene?


All I’ll say is this:

I’m not sure if it’s tougher to be a man or a woman in the bar scene. Guys face a lot of rejection. Women face a lot of creepy guys.


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  1. 1
    Alpha Girl

    Thanks for reposting the video Evan!! This series is funny!! 

  2. 2

    It’s so annoying because it’s hollow. Everything you just heard was said to someone else 5 minutes earlier. or the day before. or the weekend before. or they forgot and said it again to you. The motives are not good. Just be NORMAL! you might have a chance!

  3. 4
    Karl R

    While certain people have an easier (or tougher) time in the bar scene, it seems to be equally distributed among men and women.
    The people at the top (usually the most physically attractive, though that can vary with the crowd) have an easy time finding dating opportunities with partners they’re attracted to. The difficulty increases further down the pecking order until you get to the people who are essentially invisible/shunned.
    I’d imagine the people further down the pecking order also make the easiest targets for predators. While women face more physical risks than men, men can also become the victims of predators. I learned that lesson (before I was old enough to enter bars) by listening to a fellow student (who was also too young to legally enter bars) who had sex with men so she could steal their sports cars while they slept.
    The most important lesson I learned from observing various bar scenes: if you’re in a bar scene that really doesn’t work for you, find a different scene (which might not be a bar scene) which works better for you.

  4. 5

    of course! i forwarded on fb with a bahahah 😉

  5. 7

    Same thing comes to my mind each time after I’ve seen one of these videos (this one, Harvard Rowing team, etc) – this is the closest I’ve ever come to observing the beautiful people in their natural habitat. You know the ones – prettiest kid in kindergarten, most popular guy/girl in middle school, prom king/queen in high school… I don’t ever get to see them around me as adults, so I have no idea what happens to them when they reach that age. Apparently, this. Very educational, I’d say. Not that I can relate to any of that stuff, but it’s good entertainment!

  6. 8

    Very, very funny. My takeaway was how easily men navigate through the world. Yes, they face rejection, but at least in the video, they don’t seem too troubled about approaching women, and seem to roll with it, even the creepy one who gets her (his) face slapped. However, none of the women were unattractive. The one unattractive guy (girl) gets ignored. Women do get free drinks, though.

  7. 9

    This one I like. The ending is funny and the detached look on the woman in beds face after the hook up is priceless  

  8. 11

    I LOVED this video! It was hilarious!! I was traveling around Istanbul, Turkey back in ’08, and the guys were just comining on to western female tourists really strong. So me and another female companion decided to flip the switch and starting talking to them in the same manner that they would talk to us just to see what would happen. They were totally baffled and flustered! So much do that they were stammering and blushing. It was both priceless and hilarious!

  9. 12

    This is too funny, great laughs for a cloudy day!  What would happen if it were true?  Guys might get creeped out too.  They are the hunters, ladies are the gatherers. Thanks for sharing!

  10. 13

    This was friggin hilarious.  Thank you for posting this.  Hilarious to see the roles reversed- all the women standing in line in the cold while the men moved right to the front. LOL.  The only thing that would make it funnier is if it were performed by gathering of former best Saturday Night Live members.  Would  love to have seen the roles reversed version of Will Farrell and Chris Kattan’s double dance move with the girl in the middle!!  What is love…baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more………LOL!!!!!

  11. 14

    “I’m not sure if it’s tougher to be a man or a woman in the bar scene.”
    I agree with Karl R # 4 that it’s easier or more difficult for different individuals depending on their attractiveness, how outgoing they are and how they react to alcohol. But on balance I prefer being a guy in a bar as I can control who I interact with, by choosing who to talk to (not always, obviously).
    Ruby #8
    “My takeaway was how easily men navigate through the world. Yes, they face rejection, but…they don’t seem too troubled about approaching women, and seem to roll with it, even the creepy one who gets her (his) face slapped.”
    Don’t forget though that we have to spend years training ourselves to deal with this rejection so we don’t take it personally – we (generally) don’t arrive in the world naturally oblivious to repeated rejection. Every man was young once, and we all had to learn – usually through multiple painful experiences – how to take it with a pinch of salt.
    This pain can stay with some men, which then numbs the guilt when they start rejecting women as they get older. I know it’s wrong to carry the feelings from previous encounters through to a new person, but that’s what can happen.
    Carol # 12
    “What would happen if it were true? Guys might get creeped out too.”
    Yes you’re right – we do get creeped out.
    It happened to me once when I travelled in Thailand. In every single bar and even on every street I was approached and hassled by women – not just hookers, but regular women too. At first I thought it was funny and flattering but it got annoying very quickly. At one point two women approached me – one grabbed my crotch and one my ass at the same time! I was very freaked out and had to start scowling at people from then on, which is not my natural disposition.
    I know this probably had more to do with economics than anything else (I’m not particularly handsome or anything!) but it still made me really empathize with how women are treated by (some) men.

  12. 15

    i love it when she says at the end “I’ll call you”.  Yah right, we all know that’s GUY SPEAK for “you will never ever hear from me again” !

  13. 16

    This video is priceless!
    @Ruby #8

    “My takeaway was how easily men navigate through the world. Yes, they face rejection, but at least in the video, they don’t seem too troubled about approaching women, and seem to roll with it”
    I think sifting through women in a bar hardly serves as an appropriate microcosm for navigating through the world, but point taken.  However, it is a very good observation.  Experiencing repeated rejection can be a blessing if it is handled in the proper manner.  It forces you to define your self-worth on your own, and not let others define it.  That’s why a lot of guys don’t think twice about getting rejected.  As I got older, I began to think it was funny to get shot down.  I remember when I was single, my friends and I used to go out and have contests on who could get shot down by the most women in one night.  It was a blast, and the reaction by some of the women was fantastic too!  It is a great character builder… makes you grow thick skin, and nothing can offend you.
    I would recommend that more people (male or female) try the same thing.

  14. 17

    I might be really weird.  IF I go into a bar at all, it’s only with friends who I want to hang with anyway and I’m not interested in getting *picked up*.

  15. 18

    I’m the same. not wierd. what’s wierd is trying to desperately seal the deal with a complete stranger before closing time while intoxicated.

  16. 19

    Loved the role reversal.  Great video!

  17. 20

    I don’t think a bar is the best place to meet people, but I still know plenty of people who married someone they met at a bar, so it happens. Unfortunately, women are encouraged to just sit on their bar stool and wait for men to approach them – the passivity encouraged of women is a disgrace and does many women a great disservice. At the same time, directly approaching men to ask them out isn’t ideal.
    Then I started going out to bars with a group of (male) pickup artists last fall and it was extremely informative. Through that, I figured out a more positive and proactive way for women to expand their opportunities in and out of bars – just go around talking to everyone! Girls, guys, old people, young people, bartenders, mixed groups, whatever (I usually walked around with a guy or two). By doing so, a girl doesn’t seem like she’s hitting on someone, she’s simply smiling and being social with everyone in the room. As someone who in her earlier years struggled to overcome shyness and awkwardness, going out like that was great practice and boosted my confidence. 

  18. 21
    Karl R

    Chance said: (#16)
    “Experiencing repeated rejection can be a blessing if it is handled in the proper manner.  It forces you to define your self-worth on your own, and not let others define it.”
    I agree with Chance’s and Tom10’s observations (#14) about dealing with rejection. The pivotal moment for me was when I my happiness that I’d found the courage to make the attempt exceeded my disappointment that I didn’t get the result I wanted. After that, there was nothing to hold me back.
    This principle extends beyond this microcosm. When a 4 1/2 month relationship ended due to incompatible goals, I was happy that I’d had a exclusive relationship who would have been a wonderful wife (except for the incompatible goals). When I mentioned the relationship on the blog, multiple women were aghast that we’d “wasted 4 months in a relationship that went nowhere.”
    It doesn’t matter whether you’re afraid of rejection, wasting time or any other unpleasant consequence of relationship. If you’re letting your fear overwhelm your ability to appreciate your experiences, you’re sabotaging your own efforts.
    Joy said: (#18)
    “what’s wierd is trying to desperately seal the deal with a complete stranger before closing time while intoxicated.”
    Sealing the deal is unnecessary. You just need to get far enough that you are able to make the next step at a later date.
    If I get a phone number, I can call and continue moving things forward. If I get an email address, I can do the same thing. I’ve even mentioned places that I hang out “at least 3 Tuesdays per month,” and continued moving things along when the lady showed up.

  19. 22

    Gina 11 and Tom 14: you’ve given me food for thought. If you’re being hit on by a man, is the trick to getting rid of him that you should turn it around, and start massively hitting on HIM?  (with the hope of creeping him out)  Or would that have the opposite effect, that he’d be too encouraged? 
    This video is funny. Unlike the other one, this one did make me laugh! But I felt sorry for that unattractive man who wanted to go home.

  20. 23

    Same here. When I came into the US, I was already 30 and married with two kids, so when I went to a bar, it was with friends or coworkers to hang out and shoot the breeze. Not to meet new people. I became single again at 44, which is not exactly the right age to meet people at bars. And besides, I’m just not that type of person. I’m geeky. I’d rather meet new people at meetups, based on the conversation we have, than in a loud bar based on just the looks. So I missed that whole scene. It is all very foreign to me (the irony, right?)
    I went to a local bar alone once, when I was married and husband was out on a fishing trip, just to peoplewatch and see if the stories are true. I did see a lot of younger men and women all dressed up, women in full makeup and heels at a sports bar, i.e. clearly they were there to pick up or be picked up. As for myself, I found the one geek in the whole bar, we had a nice conversation and I left around midnight. He knew I was married, so nothing happened, except that at one point he told me he had top-grade weed in his car (??? who drives around with that? I call BS) and asked if I wanted some. I guess that doesn’t quite count as romantic advances. We traded phone numbers, but naturally none of us contacted the other afterwards.

  21. 24
    Karmic Equation

    I found this video as funny as the Garfunkel & Oates. I actually found the other one funnier.

    What I find interesting is that the MEN found the humor in this even though this is a form of man-bashing.

    I think if this video were scripted such that men acted like needy, desperate women whose biological clocks are ticking loudly, the women would be up in arms and many would fail to see the humor.

    This is one of the reasons I appreciate *strong* men. Men with strong characters can laugh at themselves and not take things personally. As demonstrated in the Garfunkel & Oates video, while women can be strong, laughing at themselves is usually not their strength.

    This is something that women can learn from men. And something all women should appreciate in their men.

  22. 25

    I didn’t view any of this as man bashing.  How could you say that?  Man bashing is if you make fun of, insult, or degrade men in regards to real world stereotypes or misbeliefs.  For example, if they showed a video making men out to all look like cheaters or sleazebags when so many are not.  Then it would be man bashing and I would take offense because I am no cheater.  This video is just a total comedy.  It wasn’t made to make men or women look bad or to pick on them.  I thought it was great.  Mostly because I could identify so easily with what the video showed- women being let in to the club ahead of the line, getting drunk and going home, the friend who was the tag along, etc. 

  23. 26

    Calling this video “man bashing” is as absurd as the women who said if I didn’t find the Garfunkle and Oats video particularly funny I must be single.
    This video is about behavior not how genitals smell.

  24. 27

    On the contrary Kathleen, I would say that calling this video man bashing would be the same as the women who thought the Garfunkle video was hurtful to women. 
    I find both to be total comedy and neither to be insulting to neither men nor women (even considering the Garfunkle video if it were 2 men singing about how ugly penises were).
    As a man I am insulted by neither.  In fact, the thought of being insulted never even enters my mind. 

  25. 28
    Karmic Equation

    Ok. Maybe “man-bashing” is stretching it. But I’ve always taken the term man-bashing to mean making fun of men or denouncing them in a malicious way. While this wasn’t denouncement, it was making fun of them. But perhaps not so much “maliciously.”

  26. 29

    Karmic, you’re trying too hard, in both this and other posts.
    it’s possible to defend men without preaching at all women.

  27. 30

    They took the men and made them act like women and took the women and made them act like men.  Just to make a pun on what if it would be like if each were the inverse of each other.  And the reason they made the video was for pure humor.  So, I see no making fun of anybody.  If there was some ultimate message or malicious reason they made the video then it might be viewed differently, but I can detect no such intentions.  Can you?

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