Am I Wasting My Life With Him?

Am I Wasting My Life With Him?

Hi Evan, My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years (off and on) says he loves me everyday, but his actions don’t follow his words. He doesn’t show me affection or attention, either physically or verbally. By this I mean he does not send text messages to say good morning anymore, he calls sometimes, but never to just say “Hi, I am thinking of you”; it’s always just to ask a financial question or work-related question. Sometimes he calls to tell me he needs something or to tell me something that happened to him. He never builds me up with kind or sweet words like he did in the beginning. He very rarely touches me, and sex has diminished ALOT over the last 10 months. It’s as though he lives in his world by himself, and so I am supposed to live by myself in mine, yet we live together…. I’m not saying that I require these things everyday, but every once in a while it would be nice to know that he thinks I am pretty or sweet or SOMETHING. I don’t think I am being too high maintenance by wanting his attention, but then again, I am not a guy and don’t know what they think or why they think it. He has asked me about marrying him a few times; I say “about” because he later told me that he was just asking to see where I was on the subject, not REALLY asking. Yet if he says something to me involving marrying him, I playfully reply with “I haven’t been asked”, to which he replies, “I have asked you”. So now not only does his behavior confuse me, but I cant help but wonder is he just not that into me, but afraid to break up? What do I do? I feel like I am in a sea of uncertainty and wasting my life away waiting on him. Your thoughts? —Michelle


My thoughts?

You don’t really want my thoughts, do you?

My thoughts are merely going to challenge your worldview, rock the axis of your earth, and change the course of your entire life.

That’s a lot of impact you’re willing to give some stranger who gives dating advice.

I don’t understand this phenomenon of “My boyfriend is totally indifferent towards me; how can I lock him in for the rest of my life?”

But since you asked, I only have one real question for you:


Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who doesn’t show you affection or attention?

Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who never does the “little things”?

Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who doesn’t ask how YOU’RE doing?

Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who never compliments you?

Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who rarely touches you or makes you feel hot?

Why would you spend 2  ½ years with a man who lives in his own adjacent world?

And, most importantly, given that he doesn’t do any of the things that you want from a long-term partner, that you DESERVE from a long-term partner…


You’re not alone, Michelle, but, for the life of me, I don’t understand this phenomenon of “My boyfriend is totally indifferent towards me; how can I lock him in for the rest of my life?”

Just yesterday, I talked to a member of my Inner Circle who says that she’s been with her live-in boyfriend for 3  ½ years, and that he proposed and “unproposed” to her because she was too bossy. So now she’s on probation to try to win back the ring that she lost. If that’s not enough, I asked her what percentage of her relationship was good. She said about 50%.

Can you see the willful blindness of this situation?

She’s fighting hard to preserve an unhappy union with a man who really doesn’t want to get married, who doesn’t think she’s a good partner, who has all the power in the relationship.


Low self-esteem? Loneliness? Fear? Sunk costs?

But to me, it’s like you were leasing  a car for three years that stalled half  of the time …and trying to negotiate a deal to own that car for life.


You might understand the concept of “actions speak louder than words”, Michelle, but until you start living your life by that rule and making sure there are consequences towards his coldness towards you, you’re hurtling towards a lifetime of unhappiness.

To answer your original question, in a line: yes, you’re wasting your life with him, and honestly, you wouldn’t be asking me that question if you didn’t know it was true.

Get out now.

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  1. 101

    Seriously about to blind side you…but he might be a sex addict.   Google for signs and symptoms – if any fit, GET OUT NOW.   My life was stolen from me by the best liar on earth.   If he hadn’t told me himself I never would have believed this is the man I married.   NEVER accept lack of intimacy and write it off without question like I did.   RESEARCH IT….and don’t convince yourself of ANYTHING.   Don’t listen to your gut. Be objective and only look at facts.   If you are questioning it, GET OUT NOW.   Nobody is worth this trauma.

  2. 102

    I needed to read this so badly. I’m currently living with my boyfriend, whose child I’m expecting in 3 months. But my boyfriend pays NO attention to me. Doesn’t talk to me, touch me, or even look at me most of the time. I feel like I’m begging for affection & that isn’t how a relationship is supposed to be. Sex still happens sometimes, but immediately after, it’s back to our own separate worlds. I feel pretty pathetic. I want to make it work, mostly for our daughter, but I know our relationship should be much different & he isn’t willing to work with me to make it better. I’m thinking this post may have just given me the push I needed to demand his effort or we’re done, so thank you.

  3. 103
    Faith Swift

    Me and my boyfriend have been together 1 year and 4 months he tells me he loves me all the time he even writes me love letters saying he don’t know what he would do without me but when he gets on his phone it’s like I don’t even exist

  4. 104
    Pretty sure M bf

    Unfortunately I beleive I’m Michelles bf, well now ex bf. We still live together currently. I admit affection went the wayside, but I’ve always wanted to marry her, I just never quite asked officially. What Michelle doesn’t tell Evan is that she goes through 3 liters of box wine every other night and doesn’t remember most nights because of it. Michelle failed to communicate her needs, so I withdrew somewhat. It became more comfortable to set aside feelings and if given the opportunity I’d change my ways because I really truly love her with all my heart. I want to marry her. Recently she emotionally cheated on me. She left her fb open and I found many messages to guys she used to hook up with. I was devastated, but ultimately I just want her happy, even if it isn’t with me.

    1. 104.1

      “I’ve always wanted to marry her, I just never quite asked officially.”

      So she didn’t know. And clearly you weren’t sure either.


      “she goes through 3 liters of box wine every other night and doesn’t remember most nights”

      She’s become alcohol dependant. She needed help. She did not need her lover pushing her away and ignoring her.   Instead of blaming her, you should  have been  asking questions. How long had she been drinking so much? Could it have developed in response to your failing relationship?

      I speak in past tense because I don’t think this relationship should be saved or  is even capable of being saved in a healthful way. She needs a new outlet for relaxing rather than drinking. You need something too, but I don’t know what that is.


      “Michelle failed to communicate her needs, so I withdrew somewhat.”

      So it’s her fault? Anyway, accourding to her, she did tell you what she wanted. To feel desired and loved.


      “She left her fb open and I found many messages to guys she used to hook up with.”

      Emotional betrayal is never justified, but in this case the reason can at least be understood. You ignored her, she was depressed because her lover didn’t seem to love her.

      She drank for relaxation and enjoyment. She talked to guys on facebook to feel sexy and desired. Things she wasn’t getting from you.



    2. 104.2

      Oh my God!

  5. 105

    I am in a similar situation as well. My boyfriend and I just reached 3.5 years together and it has been so up and down for about a year now. Such an emotional roller coaster of really good loving times and periods of feeling empty and almost leaving. He’s very unaffectionate and rarely initiates any type of intimacy and almost never initiates sex. We both are fully aware of this issue and he always says “it will get better I promise” or “I’ll try harder” so I stay and we continue to fight because of our love for each other. We have a home and a life together and such a deep connection on a different level it’s just so hard to up and leave (as some have mentioned in prior posts–you clearly don’t understand the term easier said than done) because I would be leaving behind my absolute best friend my confidant and my other half.

    It was Hot and heavy in the beginning and we’d have sex almost daily and once we bought and moved into our house together things started to fall into “roommate” routines. He seemed to just stop trying all together which then made me stop trying. What girl is going to keep initiating when she feels undesired? I am a very sexual and affectionate person and when I don’t feel desired or sought after, my confidence plummets and I withdraw. This then sends him into a “corner” and he tries even less.   I feel I can’t even show him I’m upset anymore because I need to maintain ahappy attitude to which he claims is his attraction to me. Yet, he still never initiates any type of sexual intimacy or affection. I try so hard to focus on myself and be happy but every night he just resorts to playing on his phone and I resort to the feeling of loneliness when he’s right next to me. When we go to bed all I want is him to hold me and to feel safe and secure. I feel awkward asking him to hold me when I feel he should just want to. When you love someone don’t you want to show them?

    I have been going to therapy and it helps, but it’s also hard coming to terms with the fact that we’re just on different pages with intimacy. My therapist explained how everyone is different and I get that, but we’re human and all humans need to feel desired and special. When he does show me affection it’s great and we both feel amazing and as if we can conquer the world. he sees the positive change in me but hes never consistent enough for us to move forward in our relationship. It just stops for weeks sometimes. Others our age are married and are having children. It’s scary to feel thatsjust not in the cards for us… I’m so torn and I continue to maintain a positive attitude around him because he deserves the best version of me, but it’s starting to really eat away at me. I’ve never been so confused and scared in my life.

    1. 105.1
      Karl R

      Jessie asked:

      “When you love someone don’t you want to show them?”

      There are four or five different love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, giving/receiving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. I suspect that the two of you have different love languages. I also suspect he is (or at least was) showing you, but he was using a different love language, which you weren’t tuned in to noticing.


      Jessie said:

      “It was Hot and heavy in the beginning and we’d have sex almost daily”

      That’s normal during the infatuation stage of the relationship. Infatuation doesn’t last. I waited until it wore off before moving in.


      Jessie  said:

      “it’s just so hard to up and leave (as some have mentioned in prior posts—you clearly don’t understand the term easier said than done)”

      I think everyone understands that it’s more easily said than done. But you seem to have four choices, and none of them are easy.


      Your choices – pick the one that sounds easiest (or best):

      1. Unhappily endure the current situation until one of you dies.

      2. Leave him now.

      3. Wait a few years, then leave him.

      4. Change your attitude, so you become happier with the situation as it is.


      All of the other options (that I can think of) require your boyfriend to make a choice … for example, he could choose to leave you.

      It sounds to me like you’ve been waiting for  your boyfriend  to make a choice that will fix things. You can’t force him to make a choice. Even if he does, it may not be a choice that you like.

      1. 105.1.1

        Hey great options

  6. 106

    I am just breaking my way out of 12 years like this.   Trust me it won’t and he wont change so if you want to accept that for yourself, know that it will be for life and probably with more problems to come.

    You’re self esteem and confidence will disapear and you will start to feel repulsive and anything but feminine.

    I wish I had had the courage to say something in the early days but I just couldn’t and maybe that’s because I was afraid of the answer.

    If I could turn back the clock I would. Sadly I’ll never get this person fully out of my life now as we now have 3 children. It gets worse as the years go on.. So please have more respect for yourself and more care for yourself.   Nobody deserves this. My story completely echoes yours with the marriage thing etc. I never did get an engagement.. That guy will take and take from you and you’ll never have anything back.

  7. 107

    I love Evan, and I love his words.

  8. 108

    This article really hit home and validates how I am feeling right now.

    I am in a similar situation and I’m ready to leave – just looking for a new place right now. I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years and it’s quite obvious that it will be like this for years to come. He doesn’t call or text all day – he calls on his way home from work to ask what’s for dinner (seriously I’m not a 1950s wife…I work full time 60 hours per week). I quit cooking so now he has to do it – and don’t forget that “he’s doing it”. As soon as dinner is over, he goes out on the patio to smoke a cigar and drink wine. By the time he’s done, I’m in the bed because it’s late. His complaint is that I should go out there with him. On the weekends – he spends his time golfing for 1/2 of the day. I used to play with him but there’s just no compromise when I ask for time to do things that I enjoy. We don’t go on dates or plan anything together. The last date that we went on was about four months ago, I took him to a Andrea Bocelli concert and he couldn’t even pretend to enjoy it. I used to initiate all of it but why do all the work? Why chase him? It’s a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over – I end up feeling lonely all the time and the days when I need support  – he’s not there to listen or even care. I’ve been sick for about 4 days with a cold – not a slight concern about how I’m feeling and I know he can hear me hacking and coughing half the evening. There’s no companionship at all – we are simply roommates at this point.

    I am not okay with it. It is not acceptable to me. The sad part is – I’ve had 3 separate conversations with him where I was very clear about his lack of attention to me and how our lives were quite separate. The last conversation was about 6 weeks ago and I told him that I would move out. He is oblivious and clueless. He admits “oh I guess I didn’t realize it”. I asked him what do you think would happen to our relationship if you never purposefully spend time with me. I asked him what he wants in a relationship and ironically, all of the things that he named were the things that I am asking for – there’s just no reciprocity.

    He was married for 22 years and divorced prior to meeting me. I just feel like I’m living with the remnants of his marriage and he’s treating me the same way that he treated his ex-wife. I can see why she might have left. I don’t think I am asking too much – just spend some time with me and make me feel like you’re interested in me. That’s it. If you can’t, own it so I can move on.

    I don’t want to spend the next 5-10 years of my life being ‘nice’ to each other. The sad part is, I have a 7-year old son who adores him and it will be a tough transition for him.

  9. 109

    This is for YOU!

    Living the dream is not merely “living the dream” in your relationship. Some of us learn early on how to steer away from such people in less than six months to a year. They have learned how not to give in or settle with someone who’s first agenda was to reel you in just to waste “YOUR” time! While others, including myself (in the past) beat ourselves up for remaining in an unhealthy relationship, but remain there simply because we hold on to what we think is love. We come up with a million excuses as to why we SHOULD stay. The fact is that it’s not healthy nor fair to you! It’s your life and you can make it better. The first step is to own up to the reality that this person is not going to change for you, so it’s time to move on! And honestly, when you (finally) do, you will thank yourself for doing it. Treat YOURSELF to something good and don’t feel sorry that you did or look back! Next in line! 😀



  10. 110

    To equate the analogy Evan is using is a little different than how people see relationships. In the analogy  you know you have choices therefore  you won’t except anything less. In a relationship, you fear the unknown future and think maybe if you stick it out you can get some of what you want. The longer you stay the less valuable you are to men. I know that sounds cold but when you look at men’s profiles they think and want women very young. Men don’t understand why women want a commitment so fast but it is because the loss of years effects our marketability. So we don’t want someone playing around and taking the best years of our life to leave us in the lurch later on.

    If you had 5 million dollars would you still be in that relationship?  Is that relationship based on need or want?

    The 5 million dollars is a metaphor for being in control of your own life and what you can or can not do. Do you still want that person?

    Also, do you want that person because of what they were and they are no longer are.   Try talking to them. If there is no compromise, then regretfully it probably is over because they are satisfied and you are not in the relationship.

    I have never understood, just because you have been with someone for awhile the ease that some have of taking the other for granted and not thinking that is negatively going to effect the relationship.

  11. 111

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine years now. I’ve asked myself more than twice a week if something is wrong. I’m ready for the next step, I’ve spoken about it and I’m always hushed or told we can’t afford a wedding. The love life is good, but outside the bedroom there isn’t much unless he is drinking. I never get compliments, I’ve been told “there earned” and thus my self esteem is extremely low. I don’t feel good about myself and often find myself yearning for one. I’ve put my career on hold so his could go forward and it has. But I’ve found myself broke and now dependant on him. He doesn’t buy me stuff, he doesn’t take me away or go on dates. I’m often using my last cent to try do something for us. I really love him. But im starting to feel very alone. He has often told we other girls are a ride when drunk, even in front of friends which I laugh off but it hurts. I don’t know anymore. When I’ve tried talking to him he turns it around on me and I feel worse or annoying for have tried to explain my feelings instead if him asking am I okay or how to fix things.

  12. 112

    I actually married my non affectionate boyfriend 13 years ago. We have 2 wonderful kids and I am extremely lonely and longing for any type of physical contact. It’s horrible. Get out while you still can!!

  13. 113

    Hey I am live together with my boyfriend we are different country so I move to his country after garaduate from college. Well I am not working he is the only one work, we were so in love and we both wanted to live together. After live together I am not feel so much happy with his beahavior, we are in relationship for 2 and half year, and been living together for 1 and half year… 9months lately I feel so tired with him and I feel so unhappy, he never wanted to take me for date everyweekdays her work and weekend he need to see his parents, he say that he spend enough time everyweekdays with me so he don’t need to take me out somewhere just like a culouple, I am so bored and tired of argue with him the same things, he is also lack of effection, I sometimes I feel like he is narcist, everything is about him. He told me to not work cause he can pay all our life, but once if we are argue he will tell me you better go back to your country, and then we fine again. I am tired and I am young, I am thinking about all the things I’ve suffering for him, I am afraid if I wasted more time to please this kinda of man, he say many words many promise to make me happy but not even 1 he prove it. I want to move on but also I love him,I am such a sensitive emotional girl. I am telling him what I want but he just never listen, I can not be the only one who is do everything to make us happy. And also he is such a unhappy Man, ungrateful, anger man, he always think that he is always right. Last few moth I think about leaving this country and move on,. I feel like he don’t deserve me. I am 23 btw and he is 27 we are living together before but married .

  14. 114

    I am in this situation but we’ve been dating for almost 7 months.   At first he was so amazing: showered me with kisses, we were inseparable, he hugged me and bought me gifts and flowers.   He even said I love you after about a week and a half.   I felt hypnotized.   He was all I had ever wanted, tall, handsome, and *gifted* if you know what I mean, sweet as honey, affectionate and sensitive.   We would stare into each other’s eyes lovingly all the time.   He kept joking around saying that he would marry me.   A month into our relationship he asks me to move in, and since my lease was over very soon and everything seemed to be absolutely perfect (too perfect, in retrospect), I accepted.   I moved in with a man I barely knew.   It was exciting at first, but then all that charm and passion just disappeared.   No sex, no hugs, no random kisses, no gifts, no flowers, barely any eye contact and never for more than a second or two.   No affection whatsoever.   Don’t even get me started on the dog… I have to sit there watching him shower her with kisses and caresses and gentle whispers saying how beautiful she is, how she’s a queen.   And it only emphasizes how non-existent his affection for me is.
    But he does say he loves me, every day.   This past Christmas he said I am the love of his life.   The other day he said he loves me with all his heart.   But these outbursts of love are few and far between.   He’s been sober (because of a DUI) for over a year now, and he says that being sober makes him miserable and that’s why he’s grumpy and tired all the time.   He can’t wind down.   I try my best to make him happy:   I clean the house, cook, take care of the dogs, help with the garden, do laundry, massage him almost every night, buy him stuff, tell him how attractive he is, shower him with love and affection; I do all these things because I know he likes them, because he’s told me and I’ve listened.   But he doesn’t do what I have told him time and again that I like.   I’ve tried telling him gently, firmly, passively, by hints, by text, in-person, in the shower… I mean, do I have to write it in the sky with an airplane?   He says he’ll do his best to do these things for me (I have told him that my love language is very physical, I love to be touched and be held and kissed).   But he doesn’t change.   I think I might be a bit impatient, we’ve haven’t even been dating for a year.   It just feels like more time because we’ve been living together for most of it.   It’s January 22nd today and we haven’t had sex since last year.   We are both young and healthy.   At one point he also started to “joke” about things he knows make me insecure.   He “jokes” about leaving me, “jokes” about texting hot girls, “jokes” about me being second best after his dog.   If I’m feeling strong I’ll laugh it off or just ignore it, but when I feel vulnerable and tell him to please stop he just becomes serious and says I’m too sensitive.   Whenever I try to talk about something important like our sex life or my feelings, he shuts off and gets very defensive and basically dismisses whatever I’m saying and tries to turn the tables on me.

    I tell myself that I deserve better, and I’ve even had many nightmares where he’s cheating on me (he isn’t in real life) and I’ve read that sometimes you have those dreams because you feel neglected.   In my dreams he tells me that he’s cheating and even does it in my face, nonchalantly.   Like he doesn’t even care if it hurts me.   In these dreams I react outwardly, I scream and I break things, sometimes I even go after the girl he’s cheating with… all of these things are opposite of what I would do in my waking life; I’m very shy and I don’t scream, and I would never dare hurt the person I love, even if they hurt me.   So it’s all very frustrating.

    I feel like I’m a fly that has fallen pray to a carnivorous plant.   I was flying around minding my own business when this plant appears, and it smells delicious.   I fly up to it and it seduces me with its sweetness.   I fall into the trap and I’m stuck there in the belly of the plant, and I can’t get out.

    I don’t know if I should tell him he doesn’t deserve me and leave, or if I should love him unconditionally, with all his faults and strengths, through thick and thin, through bad and good.

    Right now I feel like his mom/roommate/maid.   Definitely don’t feel like his girlfriend.

    I needed to vent.

    1. 114.1
      Mrs Happy

      Dear venting,

      my advice:

      You need to leave him.   You only have one life.   Don’t waste any more of it with such a nasty man.   Why on earth would you martyr yourself for life (or until he leaves you) and “love him unconditionally, with all his faults and strengths”?   Truly, just pause for a moment and consider why you would even contemplate that.   It’s idiotic behaviour.

      In the future: don’t move in with someone after only a month of knowing them.   Good grief.   And it’s not that you “deserve better”.   Nobody deserves anyone.   It’s just that you’ve put yourself, and chosen to stay, in a crappy situation, and he is not a good match for you in any way.

      Also, you can’t “make him happy”, as nobody can make another person happy.   Anyway, your problem is not that he is unhappy, it’s that he is selfish and mean towards you.

      You say “I can’t get out” – and I wonder, why not? Have you legs that can walk, and either money for living expenses, or someone you could stay with?   Because you are not an imprisoned fly in a plant, you are an autonomous adult with independence and freedom.   Stop thinking you’re trapped – it’s all in your imagination.   What there is between you two is not love.

      1. 114.1.1

        This is definitely how it ‘should’ be, but people of differing attachment styles can find it hard to understand others’ motivations and behaviours.

        Venting, whatever you end up doing, one important thing would be to look after your own mental health. Ensure you have a supportive social circle, do fun things you enjoy, keep happy and busy away from the relationship. You may find he is intrigued and wants to join you and helps his mood, or it may give you the strength to move on if things don’t improve. Please check back in and let us know how things work out.

    2. 114.2

      That sounds really hard, Venting, sorry to hear that you’re in this situation.   It sounds like you’re a person with a big heart who believes in love and is willing to do whatever it takes to make things work…even when your partner isn’t.   Here you are, acting as you should, setting an example for your partner to follow, but he won’t follow it, doesn’t care how he’s supposed to act.   And in spite of the fact that you’re being authentic, generous and loving, the relationship isn’t going as it should.


      Ultimately I agree with Mrs Happy, but I’ll approach the reason why from a different angle.   Regardless of how your partner acts, would you agree that the most important thing to you is being who you are, having the ability to respect yourself for your integrity, empathy, and authenticity?   If so, consider how being with this man is making you feel.   You mentioned your fantasies of acting violently, crazedly, opposite to your normal self.   Chances are that you’d never actually act that way, but do you want to be the person who fantasizes about being that way?   Being with a person who brings that out from you?   It’s one thing to believe that you should show him love regardless of his behavior because that’s the person you want to be…..but ultimately if you do, will you really be the person you want to be?   Are you that person now?


      In the end, are you afraid to leave him because you’ll miss the relationship, or because you don’t want to be the person who breaks someone else’s heart?   As much as some of us fear being assholes, that fear isn’t a good reason to tolerate assholish behavior from others.

  15. 115

    You know.. its hard.. because ive been in my relationship for the last 8 years on and off we have plans to get married but my god. Ive never been one to be romance or thats what i thought at least.. then i started to maybe want him to do small little things for me.. or even just think of me say im beautiful and sexy without prompts, notice when im laying there wearing nothing but lingere.. maybe put me instead of his books first.. but it almost feels like im not everything to him that im more of an after thought. My only solace is that it makes me feel good doing things for him.. cooking cleaning.. maming his birthday great, i make handmade things for him all the time and surprise him with his favrioute thing or things that he was talking about etc. I try to make him the happiest he could ever be.. trying to always think about him without complaint.. i love him so so much and he did take care of me when i was hurt, he cuddles me sometimes without prompt. He always tells me he loves me as long as i say it first otherwise he doesnt initiate that he also says conversation or even the way i want sex is hard for him to do (je has brain damage so i just live with alot and i try to help him through everything i possibly can) i just end up feeling so selfish for just not absolutely adoring what he does for me and i do.. i just sometimes wish he would treat me a bit better.. nicer.. talk to me more.. make me feel sexy like he cant take his eyes off me.. but he always says he doesnt notice what hes doing whcih i feel is bullshit. He says he tries but he never truly does.. im just both fed up with that.. and with trying anymore.. im tired.. but at this point i just want to accept it. Itll never change.

  16. 116
    Miss T

    For me the reason that we stay is because of low self-esteem, I myself am terrified of who he is going to hook up with immediately following our break up. I can’t take the thought of it. He’s no prize though, it is so clear and has been. I pray we find the strength.

  17. 117

    Yup i hear you ! I’ve been with my fiance for 9 years and we don’t live with each other but just being separated and only seeing him once a week is not easy I feel empty most of the time and I feel like he treats me more like a friend than fiance I have to ask for sex all the time ,I show him I love & appreciate him and anything he asks I do and even when it comes to my happiness & needs I put them aside but when its him.i respect and basically make sure he is good.

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