In this video, Paul Bloom of Yale talks to Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice.
I got married and built my entire dating coaching practice around the idea that you can have high standards and still find happiness. People who push back – maximizers – insist that they will not “settle”. The problem with maximizers, as Schwartz points out in this video is that they find it harder to choose, it takes a longer time to choose, and they’re never really satisfied.
Holding out for “the best” or bust, often leaves you paralyzed and unhappy. Or perpetually single, as it might be.
As such, it’s next to impossible to succeed as a maximizer. Holding out for “the best” or bust, often leaves you paralyzed and unhappy. Or perpetually single, as it might be. Schwartz stresses a message that I emphasize here and that I emphasized in Lori Gottlieb’s “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough”:
“Even if you end up with less good outcomes, you’ll be happier” as a satisficer.
Trust me: it’s an acquired skill. I was a maximizer for 35 years until I figured out how to get happy. And if you’re a woman whose greatest fear is “settling”, it’s about time you picked up Schwartz’s and Gottlieb’s books above.