My Husband Had a Stripper at His Bachelor Party and I’m Still Angry!

My Husband Had a Stripper at His Bachelor Party and I’m Still Angry!

I’ve been married for just over 3 months. Prior to marrying my husband, he had a bachelor party. His bachelor party consisted of the men partying and watching football, and then eventually retiring to his friend’s house for 2 full nude strippers in a show. My husband came home completely messed up at 4am.

The issue is that he did not make me aware of the strippers. Later, I saw him bending over and on his ass was a bunch of permanent marker. BUSTED! He kind of came clean, but the timeline of his story and his lack of details make me think it’s worse than I know. He refuses to discuss it with me. Not to mention that when he came home at 4am, he had sex with me. I feel a little used.

Now, 4 months later, I’m still hurt by it and it eats at me that I have no idea what happened with 2 fully nude strippers in his friend’s house or why he would end up home at 4am instead of either a more reasonable time or the next morning. Seems fishy… not to mention he doesn’t even recall having sex with me when he got home.

I’m doing my best to let that go but now we have another friend’s wedding where he is a groomsman. Which means another bachelor party! So, my anxiety is at an all-time high. I’m almost leaning toward telling him if they get private strippers, I will be getting a private massage from at least 1 male therapist, and if they go to a strip club, not a big deal, I’ll stick to a reputable storefront for my massage! Is that unreasonable? Do I seem like an uptight wife? I’m just utterly grossed out by thinking about a nude girl or two rubbing on my man’s crotch! And I’d think he may get a little crazy thinking about a muscular stud rubbing me down with massage oils, so it seems fair, no? –Katherine

Dear Katherine,

I’ve talked about men and their visual proclivities before: namely, here, here, and here.

You’re holding onto this one night like a 7-year-old holding onto his blankie. Let it go, Linus.

I’m not positive I have anything new to say on the topic, so I’ll just do my best to dissect your email to me:

1. You’re married.

This means that you’ve had 2-3 years to date him. You know who he is. You either trust him or you don’t. I would be surprised if he proved to be a completely different human being after you got married.

2. He had a bachelor party with strippers, got hammered, and blacked out.

Certainly not his proudest moment. But is this a pattern with him? Or is it an anomaly – say, something that has never occurred before but only happened at his bachelor party?

If it’s a pattern, I don’t know why you married him. If it’s an anomaly, it’s probably something to write off.

3. He did not make you aware of these strippers.

And if he did, this all would have gone a lot better?

4. There was marker on his ass.

This is more embarrassment from the same bachelor party. It shouldn’t be an additional demerit. If anything, he’s probably ashamed of himself.

5. You feel used because you had sex with your husband.

Why? He’s your husband. Isn’t that what wives do with husbands?

Was it bad? Did you not get off? Or are you just sensitive to the fact that someone else worked him up and you were the one who got to benefit from it?

6. It’s 4 months later and you’re still thinking about it.

I can almost assure you that nothing has changed in 4 months. He’s the same guy he was before you married him. The same guy he was after you married him. You’re holding onto this one night like a 7-year-old holding onto his blankie. Let it go, Linus.

Most husbands don’t like to make their wives feel bad. Just as most husbands don’t like to be told what to do.

7. He came home at 4am instead of spending the night out.

Yeah, let me know when it’s a good plan for a man to not show up at home after his bachelor party.

8. Your response to the next bachelor party is to hire a male masseuse.

Um, okay. And he should worry about this because…?

Remember, you’re his wife. He trusts you. Why should he remotely care about who is massaging you? Unless you’re going to answer an erotic want ad in the back of your local paper, I’m pretty sure your plan to piss him off won’t do much, except illustrate one thing:

You’re jealous and you feel you’ve been wronged.

I can’t convince you of the latter. But I hope you can acknowledge the former.

If he didn’t cheat on you, there’s nothing to worry about, is there?

If he did cheat on you, then you married a man of poor character. Sorry.

But just because he had a drunken bachelor party doesn’t mean he cheated on you.

Thus, you have two choices: trust him and let this sordid night be filed away as a distant memory. Or keep up this worry, paranoia, jealousy, and tit-for-tat game and see where that leads you.

I think it’s obvious which choice I’m advocating.

Sure, you can put your foot down and forbid him from going to a bachelor party where there are strippers.

Just know that telling your husband what he’s allowed to do is rarely a winning strategy.

My advice for you is to let him know that you know you’re being a little thin-skinned but his bachelor party made you feel bad. All in all, you trust him. You love him. You are just sensitive about this kind of thing.

Then listen to his explanation.

Most husbands don’t like to make their wives feel bad. Just as most husbands don’t like to be told what to do.

Join our conversation (198 Comments).
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  1. 121

    Evan, I don’t share your point of view. It’s funny how you defend men as being entitled to going to strip clubs on the basis that they are “visual” but it’s not ok for women to voice their concerns, eventhough… HEY you call us emotional? lol
    I believe in honesty and boundaries in relationships. Both of these form foundation of trust.
    There are different kinds of relationships with different rules and it is for both parties to set them up and commit to them. If you are in a relationship where you are mutually exclusive in the full sense of the word, then your man, by agreeing to this, will not go to strip club and, if faced with peer pressure, will still opt out from it. And this is not because he is gay or a pussy, but because he respects you, protects your relationship by not going into grey areas when temptation and alcohol can compromise his integrity and jeopardize long term relationship that was built over the years over one night’s adventure. I don’t see how bacchellors party is an exception to this.
    Also, Evan, no self-respecting woman would put herself down to the level you described and playfully say “I’m silly and jealous” in order to convince her partner to stay faithful (other than if she is in somewhat open relationship and is really ok with it). It sounds very pathetic and degrading.
    I wouldn’t like my man going to strip club, not because I am insecure, but because I expect my man to respect exclusivity we both agreed to. He knows he can go to the strip club whenever he wants, but that will have its consequences, because, well you cant have everything. Just like when you are single, you can’t have the company of a friend, lover and partner whenever you need it. And conversely, when you have all that, it is sometimes the case, that you cannot enjoy other women, like you would it you were single. Every choice has it’s advantages and disadvantages and I wished women were more assertive about what they want from a man, instead of reading in magazines how to pretend to be cool or hide your disappointment. There is no simple rule about what the relationship should or shouldn’t look like. You and your partner make them.
    Men being visual surely has its scientific basis, but staring endlessly at womans chest is offensive. This and many other examples in both genders suggest that exercising our primal instincts does not get us far on the social ladder. Adult and mature individuals possess control over their urges and have the ability of making choices. So if you commit to a woman, then the quality of the relationship will depend partially on the quality of your decisions.
    Bacchellors parties aren’t all about strippers. There is drinking, partying and gambling as someone previously mentioned. Your man by taking part in the party doesn’t have to agree to participate in all the aspects of it. If he is morally challenged and decides to opt out for any reason, no real friend (the groom) would be upset by it.
    I hate it when men are using this excuse of “being visual” and therefore having the illusion of this allowing them to break the rules. I know this, because if this was reciprocal, then women would be allowed to freak out, get pregnant every year and make constant arguments and expect their man to stick around. But then, hey this doesn’t happen, right?
    Women are way more outspoken, and this is translated in the working environment and in the relationships. The best way is open conversation. This does not have to be emotional. Men or women, all human beings listen to logic and reason in calm conversation. Just set your rules crystal clear early in the relationship and if you feel uneasy about the bacchellors party, talk it through before the event. You both had no problem on defining the relationship for what it is at the beginning, why is it really so difficult to talk about one night?
    Then, if the unexpected happens, then you’ve got a solid grounds to dump the man, without going into grey areas of “we didn’t discuss this”, “I didn’t know that it was going to happen” or “you never said I couldn’t do that”, as some losers would say. If you didn’t set the rules at the beginning, then don’t complain at men not following them. It’s usually when men give us the insecure card. Be assertive.

    1. 121.1

      @BloodyMary #121 no self-respecting woman would marry a man without understanding whether he has similar values. If she ended up marrying the type that disrespects her anyway, either get out or get over it. Of course she should feel free to let him know her distaste for his actions, but don’t you think a self-respecting woman would have respected herself enough to know the man she married, at least enough that this situation did not come as a surprise three or four months into the marriage?

  2. 122

    This is a bit of an aside but I think it’s interesting. I have some very attractive, successful brothers. When they get invited to stag parties, they attend but think the strippers and sex show part are lame and sad (one described it as being similar to watching animals in a circus – “when you learn what their lives are actually like behind the scenes, you never want to see that kind of circus act, ever again.”) Whenever they are put in charge of organising Bachelor Parties, they put together really fun events that Never include this kind of thing (they’ve pulled together excellent nights that include things like poker, cigars, great wine, billiards, whiskey tasting, laser tag, etc). Men can have a blast together without having to have naked women perform for them.

    Since guys of our age seem to be pretty set in their ways, maybe we should just focus our efforts in teaching the next generation – our sons, nephews and students – that this kind of behaviour is out-dated and deeply uncool.

    1. 122.1

      Yes Henriette, its actually true. Not all men like strippers, many men strip clubs in particular very sad and depressing places. When discussing the issue of bachelor/bachlorette parties both of us strongly do not want to have one. He has absolutely no desire to get drunk or see strippers. I have absolutely no desire to go to some club and use a dick straw. I will urge him to do something with his best friend the weekend before, take an overnight trip, hike, take photos, explore, like he used to do before he met me (we now do these things mostly together) as for me, I want to eat chinese food and drink big drinks out of pineapples with my friends (female and male). My twenties were tons of fun, I don’t need some silly idealized version of last night singledom.

  3. 123

    Honestly, I fail to understand how a nearly naked woman grinding on your partner and shoving her breasts and genitals into a man’s face doesn’t count as cheating. If he paid a random woman off the street to do that, I’m sure you’d consider it cheating (I hope!) Why d the venue in which the at occurs cange that?

  4. 124

    I see a lot of replies from women and mentioning trust etc. Let me say from a guys point of view on a bachelor night.
    They are out to get as much as they can, having strippers is a sure fire way of getting some before your married. Do you think he was thinking of you when he was invited to play sexually with this stripper, no darling he wasnt. They would all have been in it together and saying nothing to each and every other wife and girlfriend. To say you should trust him is pointless, when placed in that situation of having a naked stripper pushing her private parts in your face everything is likely to happen. do not be fooled. Much the same as women who have strippers too. In real terms is almost legalised prostitution. You pay for sexual returns. Strippers shouldnt even be on the things to do list. Sorry darling…but its true.

  5. 125

    I am going through a similar situation.

    I have been with the same partner for 9 years now.
    He too joined a bachelor party where there were topless waiters and strippers, and then lied to me about it. Now he is attending another bachelor party this weekend and I am beside myslef.

    Celebrating a bachelor party with strippers flaunting their magic bits in support of the notion that it is the bachelor’s last night to be a free man, is silly. The bachelor was a free man the night before the serious relationship started, not during. It is my opinion that you can’t be single and in a relationship at the same time.

    For someone to say “don’t you trust him?/ you are over reacting/ you are insecure” is a manipulative way of saying you must allow him to look at other women’s half naked bodies, have their genitalia rubbed up against your man, and be aroused by someone that is not you, and approve of it. 

    1. 125.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      It’s not really manipulative, Kate. If you want to break up with your boyfriend because of his attendance at these bachelor parties, you may. Some other woman will accept this, and she will be the one who marries him. You’re not “wrong” for being upset, nor is he “wrong” for attending these parties once a year. Choose your battles. I don’t think this is infidelity, but if you do, then, well, you have your answer. Break up with him.

      1. 125.1.1

        It is manipulative so don’t gaslight Kate thanks. Having boundaries does not make you insecure or over emotional. He is wrong for putting himself in a sexual position with another woman whilst in an exclusive relationship. Period.

      2. 125.1.2

        I disagree. I think if you have boundaries set within a relationship, those should be respected no matter what the occasion or venue. Strippers, whether being paid or not, are still acting in ways which would probably be considered an act of infidelity “outside the strip club”. A bride would be smart to put her foot down despite the manipulative stag culture. Women are being duped all over the world into wanting to appear as “the cool wife”, yet her intuition is saying otherwise. If a male wants to muck around with strippers, he should make it clear that he has ployamorous intentions.

        Sincerely, sister of a stripper

  6. 126

    BloodyMary #121…I could not agree with you more on any of your points. Very well said! Especially when you said “So if you commit to a woman, then the quality of the relationship will depend partially on the quality of your decisions.”….I think men forget that in a relationship very often & then wonder why their S.O. is upset. I also agree with your statement about EMK… “It’s funny how you defend men as being entitled to going to strip clubs on the basis that they are “visual” but it’s not ok for women to voice their concerns, event though… HEY you call us emotional?”.   

  7. 127

    Lol this is hilarious. Strippers are just that.  Strippers. Not prostitutes.  I couldn’t help but laugh because this honestly can’t be a grown woman’s serious feelings. I guess getting married doesn’t cure insecurities. 

    1. 127.1
      just got burned!

      Don’t be so naive when u say strippers aren’t prostitutes.   Not all of them, but a lot of them are. Have u been to a strip club?
      Have u heard of the private VIP rooms? They’re always full. Or the girls that will go to the parking lot, bathrooms, under the table or to a hotel room after their show?


  8. 128

    I do not agree with this at all, and this has made me very angry. Your husband obviously does not love you enough if he’s not ok with with not having strippers at his bachelor  party. It is a full blown sin to lust for a woman, let alone another woman thats not your wife, only for her body. Your husband is supposed to be equally devoted to you as you are to him. You should be allowed to lose respect for a man if he cant live without seeing another nude woman. End of story.

  9. 129


    Thank you for providing a male perspective on this matter. However, I think where the problem comes from inevitably is the difference between men and women. Of course I will be generalizing and that every person is unique. You’ve discussed male visual proclivity. We get it. Men need to look at women’s bodies and wanting to see strippers does not have anything to do with how much they love their significant others. This is a concept that most women do not instinctively understand, because they are not wired the same way. Women see their men wanting to look at other women as a direct reflection of how satisfied their men are with them. This is because women’s interest in looking at other men usually is a reflection of how satisfied they are with their men. Most women (again I’m generalizing, but I think this point needs to be made) who are in a happy, committed relationship who love their men and feel like their needs are being met romantically are not the least bit interested in having another man, naked, gyrating in front of her or on her. At all. If she is into that you can most likely bet it’s because she is feeling something lacking in her relationship. So when men want to give their attention to strippers mst women can’t help feeling like this desire on the man’s part directly reflect on his feelings for her. The women who are “cool” with this usually have had to do a lot of internal work to do to calm their fears and insecurity through rationalizing, and it can be a difficult process. Many women who seem totally fine with their men going to strippers actually do deal with very difficult emotions on their own without voicing them because they don’t want to be perceived as the “controlling, insecure, jealous” significant other that their man’s buddies will bug him about. This process of dealing with emotions can be helped enormously by their men being sensitive to the woman’s feelings, validating her and giving her a lot of attention to help her remember that she is more important to him than strippers. If most men did a good job of this then it would make it so much easier for women to trust. Instead what happens usually if a women presents a concern is that men get very defensive about the whole thing, “that’s just what guys do” “don’t you trust me?” “nothing happened””get over it” None of these responses show that the man understands her concern and validates it. So women feel their only options include stuffing their feelings (and slowly growing in resentment and lowering confidence) or getting louder about their concerns and turning into the overly sensitive, controlling stereotype.

    The bachelor party is a particularly sticky issue that can cause even the most secure and “cool” women thoughts of anxiety mostly because of the situation of this “tradition.” The bachelor party is meant as a “last hurrah” before the man loses all of his priveleges to his “ball and chain” wife. There will be lots of alcohol to potentially impair good judgement. Peer pressure and drunk men in a group, perhaps even out of town, has the potential for stupid decisions. Also, it’s traditionally organized not by the bachelor, but his friends, so even if the bride  to be fully knows and trusts her groom, she may not have that kind of faith in his buddies. Add to that the fact that men seem to be much more excited for the stag than the actual wedding, AND that it’s fully accepted that the stag night is SUPPOSED to be about men doing something a bit more risque that usual and that the bride should not be involved, “what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party” and you can see why perfectly normal women get tied up in emotional knotts about this situation. You say “Just trust your man” but men don’t seem to realize just how much pressure and strain is put on a woman’s trust when it comes to the specific situation if a bachelor party. Dealing with this is hard. Dealing with it and acting like the cool girlfriend who doesn’t care is a challenge. Any surprises that come up, like finding out that more happened at the party than what she expected (Private strippers in a house vs a club for one thing) or if her man witholds information about what happened when she really needs to know in order to process how she feels about everything, or her man and his friends getting defensive will all damage how well the woman is able to deal with her emotions.

    One of the biggest issues that I see is that men cannot put themselves in women’s shoes and understand from their perspective, so women are invalidated. Your entire article invalidates the original poster and makes her seem like the bad guy without acknowledging the part her husband played in the situation. Since men seem to not be able to truly understand women’s concerns about the bachelor party tradition it may be helpful to propose a new idea for a woman’s bachelorette parties. Men fantasize about sex, hence the strippers, but that will not work as well for women because what they fantasize the most about is “romance.”  So the new idea for a bachelorette party is this: We know that after a woman gets married their men stop putting in effort to be romantic (an unfair stereotype of course, but no more unfair than the stereotype that a man once he gets married is doomed to have boring sex with one woman forever). So as a ‘last hurrah’ the brides friends all pitch in to hire a handsome man in a suit (think price charming meets james bond) to take her on a fantasy romantic date with all the trimmings. The man will be paid to make her feel special and loved, bring her flowers, maybe buy her a piece of jewelry, take her somewhere really nice that perhaps her husband wouldn’t usually be able to afford. The entire night would be one amazing romance filled evening with wine, compliments, attention, slow dancing perhaps, and of course hand holding and romantic eye gazing (hey none of that is cheating right? nope). If her man is confident in himself enough he shouldn’t have a problem with any of it right? Even though he knows his woman might be intoxicated and who knows, get caught up in the moment and perhaps might go to far and kiss the guy, or more. It wouldn’t matter anyway if things did go a little farther than he felt comfortable with because she would not tell him. She would of course share it with all of her friends, but “girl code” and “bachelorette party tradition” would keep him in the dark and he would just have to accept that for one night his woman enjoyed being wined and dined and spoiledby another man that was most likely much more attractive, had more money and a nicer head of hair than him.

    1. 129.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      That’s a clever solution. Seriously. A bit more “intimate” than watching women on a seedy stage, and thereby more threatening. But yes, theoretically a man should be secure enough to let her go out on such a bachelorette party. The problems, of course, are numerous:

      1. This really ISN’T the same. A strip club is so hyper-over-the-top-ridiculous that it’s really, for most men, funny entertainment. The evening you described is far more realistic for a couple. You follow? You would never give your fiance a 3 minute pole dance. Your fiance probably does take you out, pay for things, get you gifts, and say nice things to you. That’s why he’s your fiance. So while I do get your point, this is really a false equivalent.

      2. I don’t think women would want to do this. Maybe I’m wrong. But, if so, why hasn’t it happened? That’s right – because they’re in love with their fiances and their fiances generally DO this sort of behavior. It would feel WRONG for a woman to act in such a fashion – because it IS more intimate than a lap dance. To HER.

      3. Going through this only illuminates my original point further – it’s not that men can’t stand to be more sensitive to women, it’s that women are hypersensitive about what a strip club means. Answer: absolutely nothing. As such, it’s a far cry from your suggested proposal. The equivalent of a woman getting wined and dined by another man is actually…your fiance going on an intimate date with another woman for his bachelor party. So, which do you prefer? The strip club? Or the intimate date?

      4. Therefore, the real equivalent is if YOU went to Chippendale’s when he went to Crazy Girls. And, as a guy who has a wife who has gone to those places…I don’t care whatsoever.

    2. 129.2

      @ Christine,
      I actually agree with you that men going to a strip club (especially if their wives have a problem with it) can create trust problems, and that it is something a wise man would avoid doing.
      Regarding your proposed solution, though, that sounds an awful lot like a WEDDING to me 🙂
      Seriously, a romantic day, full of flowers, gifts of jewelry, romantic dinner, dancing, emotional speeches……a day that is all about romance and frankly totally geared to the desires of the bride.
      I never had a bachelor party (didn’t want one), but I will say that I (and all my male friends and relatives) all agree that weddings are geared toward women’s concept of romance (and not men’s).  I guess the concept of a bachelor party was men taking the time to engage in male-oriented celebration. Still, your critique of strippers is valid, IMHO.
      How about this as a suggestion:  A bachelor party being a man’s night out with the boys, no strippers/females present, followed by a private “show” from his fiancee?  Something she can do to give him a night that is all about him, the same way he will give her a day that is all about her?  In a way that would bring BOTH of them closer together while acknowledging their differing propensities for entertainment?
      Not that I think most people will accept this suggestion, but I think it would be something a woman could offer her fiancee, rather than just telling him she doesn’t want him having a bachelor party – she could offer him something (better), rather than simply trying to restrict him or make him jealous.

  10. 130

    Christine ” The women who are “cool” with this usually have had to do a lot of internal work to do to calm their fears and insecurity through rationalizing, and it can be a difficult process. Many women who seem totally fine with their men going to strippers actually do deal with very difficult emotions on their own without voicing them because they don’t want to be perceived as the “controlling, insecure, jealous” significant other that their man’s buddies will bug him about. ”

    I’m getting a little tired of women here basically saying that, because u are jealous and insecure in situations like this, u assume most women are like that too. For myself, there’s only been 1 guy out of all the guys I’ve dated with whom I’ve ever experienced jealousy and similar negative insecure emotions–and I was a teen then. I haven’t felt this insecure jealousy in years. So I really hope women who experience these negative emotions stop speaking for a majority/most women out there.

    There are many women who genuinely are ok with their fiances having bachelor parties, because not all romances involve possessive jealous types of ‘love’. But other women don’t wanna believe that, they insist that their obsessive jealousy is normal, and other women are simply pretending, so that they don’t have to work on changing the way they think.

  11. 131

    Jeremy, I think that is a brilliant idea and I would be the first to sign up to skank it up for my husband to be after a night drinking with his buddies. Sounds like a win-win. He gets to have the whole nine yards sexual fantasy with me and I get the attention from him. 

    Great idea. 

  12. 132

    Twinkle, I never said that “obsessive jealousy” is normal. I’m saying that many women do have anxiety over their men looking at other women and enjoying said women taking off their clothes for them and rubbing themselves on them. I think this is a perfectly reasonable feeling to have. Of course I am generalizing and my opinion will not apply to every woman. I am however expressing my personal experience, and that of my female friends and most females I have met.

    I’m really glad that you have no insecurity issues. That’s wonderful to hear and gives me hope that I can someday be that confident. In the mean time I don’t think it’s fair to invalidate a woman’s emotions, say that she is the one with insecurity issues without taking into account the man’s part in the situation. She just has to suck it up and get over it is unfair.  

    1. 132.1

      ” In the mean time I don’t think it’s fair to invalidate a woman’s emotions, say that she is the one with insecurity issues without taking into account the man’s part in the situation”

      The man’s part? She brought the insecurities with her, and yet you’re still blaming the man for her insecurities?
      If either partner has insecurities, it’s their problem – nothing their partner does is going to alter that insecurity one bit. The person with the insecurity needs to work on it.
      I say this as someone who’s been unkind to women I’ve dated, because of my own insecurities. I don’t do that anymore.

  13. 133
    Sarah Williams

    This is for Katherine, I think you are entitled to feel upset about this, I hate the idea of my husband being at a stag night with strippers, anything sexual should between my husband and I, in my mind I am his wife and I am the only person he should be looking at or touching naked, its something sacred between him and I. I can’t disagree more with the answer you have been given. The thing is you can’t let this eat you up as its already happened what you can deal with is the future and I think its fair enough to request him to stay away from the strip show. I understand that an instant reaction to feeling hurt is to hurt them back so that they understand how they make you feel. I dont think hiring a male masseuse is a good idea but instead maybe explain why him being around strippers makes you feel how you feel and that its not worth compromising your marriage over. I get so sick of people saying that wives are being controlling etc etc over this its not that at all, its having boundaries in a marriage and having respect for what is important to each other.

  14. 134

    Your advice is horrible. Clearly this woman’s husband doesn’t respect her at all. He’d probably fuck another woman if given the chance.

    1. 134.1
      Love it

      thankyou mike totally agree. It happened tome payback is a bitch . Your aman you get it

  15. 136

    Nude strippers? Lol you mean hookers? He probobly got his dick sucked and it was paid for by the best man. A lie this early in the marriage is very telling of his true colors. I used to be a stripper for bachelor parties. Sexual favors literally happen all the time. Dump his ass!

    1. 136.1
      Love it

      thanks Brittany or better still strip off naked and give his mates a lap dance agh payback I love it.:::I know I go on about it but the best thing I ever did my husband put me through hell and after I met someone he was devastated lol and I realised he had a smallish penis I never thought I would get strong and enough but I did it

  16. 137
    Myra Singh

    Awesome advice, right on the spot as usual!

  17. 138
    Chanel Olsen

    I told my husband if you have a b. party, I will not marry you and that was that.  His friends will do everything they can to get him in trouble and laugh about it.  They are evil and not friends.  I watched him every night til the wedding; I was with him always and the days he went to work at a Union Shop where nothing like that was allowed.  He declined his “whore” party.  I told him if you go don’t speak to me again ever.  Another man is just 10 minutes away for me.  I had previously had to cope with a girl at work at her house with her friends try to stop her from killing herself after she saw pics from her fiances’ b. party when a whore put her thing in his mouth.  Girl is ok today and married someone else.  Cheating is cheating.  Having a great time out with everyone girls an boys together is where it is at before the big event.  This kind of party should be where all talk about marriage.   Anything else is just low class and evil.

    1. 138.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Your husband gets to feel like a prisoner. You get to feel like his parole officer. Sounds like a very happy marriage.

  18. 139

    I sympathize with Katherine ban all bachelor parties! Lol my boyfriend got invited to one and I’m trying to mentally prepare but it’s not happenING with all the crap I’m reading. Yes he is a good guy but the combo of alcohol women and rowdy men boosts the ego and the fact I know the “code of silence” men suspicious hold on to its threatening

  19. 140

    At what time in history- did someone think it was ‘ok’ to for a man, about to be married – to party with naked women in ‘celebration’ of the man getting married?

  20. 141
    Love it

    Yes it happened to me. Then it got worse he didn’t want to bemarried and I met someone moral of the story don’t sit around crying get on a dating site or a affair site Ashley Maddison leave it open and pay them back. You don’t have to go there but put some insecurity in there heads see if they like it. plant comdoms around the house. Come home with strange sex toys. It’s not nice when the shoe is on the other foot.

    step it up girls and if he walks yeh nexxxxt

  21. 142
    Love it

    And the irony he wanted me back I don’t regret what I did for one minute never ever ever feel insecure or intimidated by this form of cheating

  22. 143

    I’d like to chime in here. I am getting married in 2 weeks, my fiance is having his stag this weekend. We talked about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior at his stag. Basically we agreed upon no insertion of any kind in any opening, means no kissing, no fingering, no oral and no sex. I think you need to have open lines of communication.

    With that said I think a lot of people need to chill out. Its a stag one last party, it really is more for the grooms friends than him.

    I think after 4 months you either need to let it go or let him go. Its your choice. But holding a grudge will make you into a very bitter person and ruin your marriage.

    1. 143.1

      Oh such gentlemen that are being bred these days that you are having convos with someone who is supposed to ADORE you and be faithful about not inserting himself in others.  My ex husband never had a stag night – he didn’t want one and I can’t imagine my father or my grandfather going to strippers or viewing porn.  The things that women put up with as normal nowadays makes me sad.

      I guess I felt moved to answer because your name is the same as my daughters and I’d be sad if she accepted this behaviour from any man, as normal or healthy. Objectification is humans, dehumanising others for their own pleasure – that is how far we have come in this modern society where we can look right up some strangers wahoo without giving a shit who they are and that’s just ‘fun’, men want some strangers wahoo rubbed all over his thighs and that’s just ‘fun’.  How lovely. Each to their own but I’d never respect a man like that.

  23. 144
    Little Advisor

    You have every right to be angry.

    Bachelor parties are so idiotic. So many men have sex at these and son’t consider it cheating. Oh, is the night before your damn wedding the night you AREN’T in a relationship with your fiancee? I don’t get why people choose to have strippers there.

    But don’t worry too much. He was definitely not emotionally attached to the stripper in any way. He probably still loves you, but you should still talk to him about it.

  24. 145

    I have been a married for 8 years but really like 12. My husband and i have an 11 year old and a 5 year old. My husband loves to golf when he is not running his business.  We are a really cool couple over the years and give each other their space when we want to go out of town to our beach condo or just to a local bar or dinner separately and just enjoy time with firends. We are a very intimate crazy do just about everything you could imagine to each other male videos and all that you can think of. We are parents and run a huge business but we have always met in the middle and we are like 2 best friend’s  and mad lovers at the same time… Ok had to get that out. Sooooo my husband took 3 married men to our Beach condo. He said yeah we are gonba hit the strip clubs. I said ok at the tme but then said as packing his bags for trip just hang out at the bars and golf please just dont go to the strip clubs bc he gets off so easy on me i was like you dont need to be there.  He went and said it was funny they all left and he spent like 50 bucks.

    Me being a stay at home mom i finally decided to open a 2 month old bank statement.. He spent over 1100 dollars that night. He said he never slept with anyone but he did help pay for some buds amd he did go to the back room after buying vodka with the stripper. This is at Thee Doll House in North Myrtle beach.. I was disgusted. I will never know just have to take his word for it.

  25. 146

    I googled and found this website because I got a stripper for my husband for his birthday.  I think the fact that it was a controlled environment and I was also involved in the show made it really enjoyable.  The ladies were beautiful and the one that everyone really liked was the one that didn’t have the “perfect body” as labeled by society.  She had a little tummy, she had a real woman’s body that all of my guests thought was GORGEOUS!

    I don’t think I’d be as happy if I wasn’t there, such as a bachelor party.  That would make me uncomfortable and it’s not because I don’t trust my husband but I know he is a man and he isn’t perfect just as we all aren’t.

    His family comes first.  He will work seven days a week with his full time job and his side business just to make sure we can eventually get ahead.

    I wanted him to have a good time and relax after all of the time he has spent taking care of us.   We have been together 17  years and the last 10 have been nothing short of a dream come true.

    Maybe having a private show so that you can see that this is a business to these men and women.

  26. 147

    I wonder how many men are okay with letting their ladies assume that it’s just lap dances and shaking boobs in their faces. I wonder how many ladies know the extent of what some strippers do. I have a dilemma right now. My husband is his brothers best man and is hosting a bachelor party at our house. His brother wants a 2 stripper show. It’s my husbands job to make sure his brother has a good time. I am trying to be okay with this but I have seen strippers at home (club is a bit different) and I am not comfortable with my husband participating. I’m not talking about lap dances. I’m talking about the things I witnessed at my bisexual friends 30th party where she hired a female stripper for her and her husband. They were both into it so no harm done. After asking if that was pretty typical for hired strippers (yes) I realized my husband is not exactly honest about the reality of hiring strippers. Ladies if you are comfortable with things like your SO licking whipped cream off tits ass and inner thighs, pussy pie eating, test tube shots, lollipop rides, dildo help and feed the kitty and anal ring toss…fine. To me some of that equals sex without penetration, and therefore is cheating. I know best men tend to get extra attention.My husband is usually not one to be the center of attention but he is best man and I’m sure he will be drinking. This does not make me insecure or thin skinned. I would never forbid my husband from doing anything. I’m not his Mommy and he’s a grown man. I told him what I think crosses the line and just have to trust that he’ll respect that. It doesn’t change the fact that the idea of him participating makes me feel ill. I would probably be okay if it was something we were participating in together. I’ve seen how out of hand it gets (and do admit that bachelorette parties can be much worse, something I did not participate in and told my husband about)with the encouragement from others. Just saying, ladies if you think it’s just lap dancing, probably not. And men if you are letting your SO think it’s something it isn’t, and know she would be hurt if she knew, you are not respecting her feelings. Would you be okay if your girl did things like that with a male stripper? If the answer is no then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it either.

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