Can Women Be Equally Satisfied With Part-Time Relationships?

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While I’m happily married and try to help others become happily married, in no way do I think that my lifestyle is the only viable lifestyle. Readers with alternative lifestyles may get annoyed when I continually cite articles about monogamy, marriage, and children and I want you to know that I only write those pieces because that is my target audience.

Sounds like a breath of fresh air, doesn’t it? All the romance and sparks “without the monotony and obligation of a full-time relationship.”

But I’m not remotely judgmental when people decide that they value their freedom and independence over marriage. To each her own. This is what spurred Helen Croydon to create her own dating site, PartTimeLove. “Croydon asserts that a low-maintenance or part-time relationship is distinctively different than the eloquently named “booty call,” or the even more lucid “casual encounter” in that the goal is lasting love. (She) admits it’s not for everyone. She envisions her demographic as users in their mid-to-late 30s and early 40s who are set in their ways and might find it difficult to adapt domestically to a new partner. “They’re realistic on the fairytale,” she says.”

It sounds like a breath of fresh air, doesn’t it? All the romance and sparks “without the monotony and obligation of a full-time relationship.”

Of course, like any new paradigm, PartTimeDating has it’s own flaws: namely that one partner will likely feel stronger than the other and will be dissatisfied in a relationship that is, by its very definition, limited. In other words, there are millions of people who are having these “Part-Time” relationships – but unlike the founder suggests, the reason they’re doing it is because they DON’T want to fall in love and get married. Hell, my MOM wants a relationship like this. In her words, “I don’t want to take care of an old man!”

Just know that this isn’t a new paradigm at all. The only difference about Croydon’s website is that it’s officially sanctioned. This is a place where women can no longer complain that men only text a couple of times a week, because by virtue of being on the site, that’s exactly what they’re signing up for.

Your thoughts below, are appreciated.

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Comments:

  1. 21
    k2012

    There are some situations that suit some people. Take for instance now, a woman or man who has been married two or three times, children are grown and out of the house, she enjoys her life with her children, grand children and her friends. I mean she has been thee done that. She has no wish to marry again. She or he has her own house, car and is quite comfortable. Probably retired or maybe still working, but everything is good. This person might not want a full time relationship, for true. they are quite satisfied with a part time relationship and dont want to share a house with anyone. Sure the person will stay over sometimes. sure. but they just want a regular companion and both persons are satisfied with that situation. I see this situation working for men and women in this category. But people like me who have never been married and have no kids, i want my full time relationship. Even if kids are not possible again, but i want my full time man.Commitment. everything.

  2. 22
    Elizabeth

    I’m seeking a part-time relationship. For me this does not mean sharing a guy with someone else, but two people living their own life, sometimes coming together to share conversation, loving, meeting, traveling, kayaking, swimming, or whatever, and then going home to their own place. I seek a commitment with a like-minded person of this kind. I realize it is unusual, but as a psychologist, I’ve seen relationships like this work very well.
    It’s difficult explaining the concept to a lot of people, particularly to many men I meet online. Many think that what I seek is just getting together for sex, or worse still, casual sex. It isn’t. I seek something quite ordinary here. I am over 60 years old, done the married with kids thing, own my house, run my business, and just enjoy the silence of living alone. There are others like me, and it is these I seek.

    1. 22.1
      kris

      Wow, you described exactly what I want. And I totally agree, casual sex or hooking up is not the same as a committed PT relationship…not even close

  3. 23
    kris

    This is similar to what I am looking for except NOT casual. Casual, or “breezy” relationships are the same as booty-calls or FWB which both suck. Do we really need yet another term for two people who hook up but aren’t emotionally attached??? I am a divorced woman in my 40s. I live alone and like it that way. I do not want a man living with me, I do NOT have any interest in meeting his family (I know that sounds weird) but damn, I was stuck going along with dinner invites at the in-laws house for 13 years and these people were brain-dead, Fox News watching morons, it was painful but I felt obligated. I do not want that obligation again. Meeting parents? Fine. Developing a relationship with them, not interested. What I want is a PT SERIOUS, monogamous relationship, one with strong feelings for each other but only getting together once or twice a week with talking/texting in between. The problem is, I don’t see many men being OK with this. It seems to me when a man falls for a woman he wants SO much more. Men tend to feel happy in their relationships when the woman makes him feel good about himself which probably can’t be accomplished if she is only seeing him once a week. I know for a fact I could be in love with a man who I chose to see on a PT basis. I love my independence and space. In fact it was part of what made my marriage crumble, my ex was way too needy. But I think what I want is a fantasy because most men would not be happy with an arrangement like this if he loved a woman.

  4. 24
    Rc

    I am in this PT relationship now and i am not liking it. He always plan something for the weekend but is always being cancelled due to his busy-lifestyle. Like, c’mon.. ive been wasting so much effort and excitment for these plans and then ill be getting “sorry baby, i cannot make it” in the end. I agreed to this situation because i want to learn how to control my feelings, i wanna know how do people get connected to each other without falling inlove. (It may sound bitter but i guess a better idea, i dont wanna fall in love again. Been thru a lot of hurting relationships already.)

    I have to say; it is not easy but i am still here, trying to understand everything. I hope ill be successful in my goal of entering this.

  5. 25
    DocD

    I’m almost 52 and wish the men I’ve met understood this, as well as some of the commenters on here.

    Part-time relationships are not affairs. Affairs are affairs. I am very happy with the life and career I have built for myself over the past 2 years since my 15 year marriage ended. My time is precious and often divided between my grandson, work, family, and friends. What I am seeking is a partner who has the same obligations and yet wants to spend weekends together and maybe even meet for dinner a couple nights a week. I don’t want the fairytale romance where it culminates in marriage. I want the fairytale that goes on forever…the excitement of getting ready for a date with him, the butterflies when I hear his voice after not hearing it for a few days, the expectation of what is to come…that often fades after living with one another. I want respect given to my independence but still know that once in a while, I need someone else to take control…just not full- time. You can love someone 100% of the time and be monogamous   and not be living in the same space. Why is that so hard for someone to wrap their head around???

  6. 26
    Kirk

    You describe EXACTLY what I am looking for in a relationship.   I was married 33 years and my first wife passed away from a brain tumor.   Next, I connected with a girl I dated in high school.   We were together for 11 years and she is now gone.   I suffered great pain with each loss (last one was the most difficult).   I am now 67 and just interested in dinner a couple of nights a week, plus quality weekend time in addition to travel vacations.

  7. 27
    vivien lane

    I am in a part time commited relationship with a teenage love im now 58 and so is he i have 3 failed marraiges behind me he has a 28 yr marraige that ended in divorce behind him followed by a second marraige that only lasted 4 yrs which was a disaster and hes relieved to be out of, i have my own home children and and grandchildren and am now retired from working so it all suits me i think he had a dissatisfied marraige and jumped into the second one too quick at his peril and now we just enjoy precious moments together we talk/text everyday share deepest thoughts and weekends together it is enough for us both i am always aware if we make it any more of a commitment it could ruin everything so we will continue as it is i look forward to my time with him and equally love to be alone i have a good circle of family and friends and i like my life.

  8. 28
    Garris

    Even in part-time relationships there can often be a mismatch of expectations. I am in a relationship with a divorced man with 2 kids of his own. I am twice divorced and have 2 kids at home. I don’t ever want to get married again and I probably won’t even be interested in living together either, but I find it frustrating that we can’t have more time together. We have been together for 2.5 yrs and never had a weekend away. We rarely see each other more than once a week and if either of us is sick, has sick children or other commitments, not even that. We’ve spoken about this a few times and I have explained that for me it’s just not cutting in. I’m not asking for the fairytale, just a bit more companionship… It’s tempting to cut and run but then I wonder where I could ever meet a man who would be interested in a woman like me who has so little energy to give after work and parenting? Maybe this is as good as it gets.

    1. 28.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      It’s not.

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